Polyfidelity is a form of
non-monogamy
Non-monogamy (or nonmonogamy) is an umbrella term for every practice or philosophy of non- dyadic intimate relationship that does not strictly hew to the standards of monogamy, particularly that of having only one person with whom to exchange s ...
, a
romantic relationship
Romance or romantic love is a feeling of love for, or a strong attraction towards another person, and the courtship behaviors undertaken by an individual to express those overall feelings and resultant emotions.
The ''Wiley Blackwell Encycl ...
structure in which all members are considered equal partners and agree to restrict sexual and/or romantic activity only to other members of the group.
Origin
![Mobius-purple](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/58/Mobius-purple.jpg)
The practices and beliefs underlying polyfidelity have long existed, but in uncodified fashion. The
Oneida Commune
Oneida may refer to:
Native American/First Nations
* Oneida people, a Native American/First Nations people and one of the five founding nations of the Iroquois Confederacy
* Oneida language
* Oneida Indian Nation, based in New York
* Oneida N ...
of the mid-19th century practiced complex marriage, encouraging individual members in the freedom to have multiple ongoing sexual relationships within the community, as an expression of their beliefs and religious faith. This was occasionally referred to as a
group marriage
Group marriage or conjoint marriage is a marital arrangement where three or more adults enter into sexual, affective, romantic, or otherwise intimate short- or long-term partnerships, and share in any combination of finances, residences, care ...
, a term brought back to popular recognition by the 1974 publication of ''Group Marriage: a study of contemporary multilateral marriage'' by
Larry Constantine
Larry LeRoy Constantine (born 1943) is an American software engineer, professor in the Center for Exact Sciences and Engineering at the University of Madeira Portugal, and considered one of the pioneers of computing. He has contributed numerous c ...
and Joan Constantine.
The term polyfidelity was coined in the "New Tribe" of the
Kerista
Kerista was a utopian community that was started in New York City in 1956 by John Peltz "Bro Jud" Presmont. Throughout much of its history, Kerista was centered on the ideals of polyfidelity and creation of intentional communities. Kerista underwe ...
Commune.
The community at first expected all of its members, within bounds of
gender
Gender is the range of characteristics pertaining to femininity and masculinity and differentiating between them. Depending on the context, this may include sex-based social structures (i.e. gender roles) and gender identity. Most cultures u ...
and
sexual orientation
Sexual orientation is an enduring pattern of romantic or sexual attraction (or a combination of these) to persons of the opposite sex or gender, the same sex or gender, or to both sexes or more than one gender. These attractions are generall ...
, to be sexually active with all other members, and for
exclusive relationships not to be formed within the group. Adding new members would require
consensus rather than violate the fundamental compact.
The broader term ''
polyamory
Polyamory () is the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. People who identify as polyamorous may believe in open relationships wit ...
'' was coined later.
The word polyamorous first appeared in an article by
Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart
Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart (May 27, 1948 – May 13, 2014), born as Diana Moore, subsequently known as Morning Glory Ferns, Morning Glory Zell and briefly Morning G'Zell, was an American community leader, author, and lecturer in Neopagan ...
, "A Bouquet of Lovers", published in May 1990 in ''Green Egg'' magazine, as "poly-amorous". In May 1992, Jennifer L. Wesp created the
Usenet
Usenet () is a worldwide distributed discussion system available on computers. It was developed from the general-purpose Unix-to-Unix Copy (UUCP) dial-up network architecture. Tom Truscott and Jim Ellis conceived the idea in 1979, and it was ...
newsgroup alt.polyamory, and the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) cites the proposal to create that group as the first verified appearance of the word. The words ''polyamory'', ''polyamorous'', and ''polyamorist'' were added to the OED in 2006.
Function
Polyfidelitous relationships are, like
monogamous
Monogamy ( ) is a form of Dyad (sociology), dyadic Intimate relationship, relationship in which an individual has only one Significant other, partner during their lifetime. Alternately, only one partner at any one time (Monogamy#Serial monogamy, ...
relationships, ''closed'' in the sense that partners agree not to be sexually or romantically intimate with someone not in the relationship. The difference is that more than two people are included in the closed group. New members may generally be added to the group only by unanimous agreement of the existing members, or the group may not be interested in further expansion.
While being a subtype of the more general
polyamory
Polyamory () is the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. People who identify as polyamorous may believe in open relationships wit ...
, polyfidelity can resemble monogamy in its relationship power dynamics, attitudes towards autonomy, and group consent, as most often polyfidelity develops from an established closed-monogamous couple seeking to add one or more individuals or another couple. In this sense, polyfidelity expands upon standard practices and beliefs of monogamy while still being categorically
polyamory
Polyamory () is the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. People who identify as polyamorous may believe in open relationships wit ...
.
Benefits and challenges
![Parrot polyamory mascot](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f2/Parrot_polyamory_mascot.gif)
A commonly cited advantage of polyfidelity is the ability to "fluid bond" among more than two people while maintaining relative safety regarding
STDs, so long as any new members are sufficiently
tested
''Tested'' is a live album by punk rock band Bad Religion. It was recorded in the USA, Canada, Germany, Estonia, Denmark, Italy and Austria, in 1996, and released in 1997. It is Bad Religion's second live album. Instead of using crowd microphon ...
before fluid bonding with the group, and keep their commitments. This would have health advantages similar to
monogamy
Monogamy ( ) is a form of dyadic relationship in which an individual has only one partner during their lifetime. Alternately, only one partner at any one time (serial monogamy) — as compared to the various forms of non-monogamy (e.g., polyga ...
, although risks rise somewhat with each person added.
Some gain a sense of emotional safety from the relatively closed nature of the polyfaithful commitment.
Polyfidelity inherently affords less flexibility than other forms of nonmonogamy. For example,
open relationships do not restrict sexual interactions to specific people.
As many polyfidelitous people have transitioned directly from closed monogamy, they can encounter problems in learning to communicate intimately with more than one partner.
People hoping to create or expand a group marriage mention difficulty finding potential partners with enough mutual compatibility to even consider attempting a relationship.
Other usage
In the book ''Lesbian Polyfidelity'', author
Celeste West uses the term ''polyfidelity'' in much the same way that others use polyamory. This may represent independent coinage of the same term within a different community, and this usage is not common among polyamorists in general. West uses the term to emphasize the concept (common in polyamory) that one can be faithful to one's commitments without those commitments including sexual exclusivity.
See also
*
Free love
Free love is a social movement that accepts all forms of love. The movement's initial goal was to separate the state from sexual and romantic matters such as marriage, birth control, and adultery. It stated that such issues were the concern ...
*
Group marriage
Group marriage or conjoint marriage is a marital arrangement where three or more adults enter into sexual, affective, romantic, or otherwise intimate short- or long-term partnerships, and share in any combination of finances, residences, care ...
*
Kerista
Kerista was a utopian community that was started in New York City in 1956 by John Peltz "Bro Jud" Presmont. Throughout much of its history, Kerista was centered on the ideals of polyfidelity and creation of intentional communities. Kerista underwe ...
*
Non-monogamy
Non-monogamy (or nonmonogamy) is an umbrella term for every practice or philosophy of non- dyadic intimate relationship that does not strictly hew to the standards of monogamy, particularly that of having only one person with whom to exchange s ...
*
Open marriage
Open marriage is a form of non-monogamy in which the partners of a dyadic marriage agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without this being regarded by them as infidelity, and consider or establish an open relatio ...
*
Polyamory
Polyamory () is the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. People who identify as polyamorous may believe in open relationships wit ...
References
External links
Terms and definitions from Loving More non-profit organization
{{Family
Polyamory
Polyamorous terminology
Sexual fidelity