![Polyamory Pride Flag](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b6/Polyamory_Pride_Flag.svg)
Polyamory () is the practice of, or desire for,
romantic relationship
Romance or romantic love is a feeling of love for, or a strong attraction towards another person, and the courtship behaviors undertaken by an individual to express those overall feelings and resultant emotions.
The ''Wiley Blackwell Encycl ...
s with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed
consent
Consent occurs when one person voluntarily agrees to the proposal or desires of another. It is a term of common speech, with specific definitions as used in such fields as the law, medicine, research, and sexual relationships. Consent as und ...
of all partners involved.
People who identify as polyamorous may believe in
open relationships with a conscious management of
jealousy
Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety.
Jealousy can consist of one or more emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness or disgus ...
and reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are prerequisite for deep, committed, long-term, loving relationships.
Others prefer to restrict their sexual activity to only members of the group, a closed polyamorous relationship that is usually referred to as
polyfidelity
Polyfidelity is a form of non-monogamy, a romantic relationship structure in which all members are considered equal partners and agree to restrict sexual and/or romantic activity only to other members of the group.
Origin
The practices and b ...
.
''Polyamory'' has come to be an
umbrella term
In linguistics, semantics, general semantics, and ontologies, hyponymy () is a semantic relation between a hyponym denoting a subtype and a hypernym or hyperonym (sometimes called umbrella term or blanket term) denoting a supertype. In other wor ...
for various forms of non-monogamous, multi-partner relationships, or non-exclusive sexual or
romantic relationships.
Its usage reflects the choices and
philosophies
Philosophical schools of thought and philosophical movements.
A
Absurdism -
Action, philosophy of -
Actual idealism -
Actualism -
Advaita Vedanta -
Aesthetic Realism -
Aesthetics -
African philosophy -
Afrocentrism -
Agential realism - ...
of the individuals involved, but with recurring
themes or
values
In ethics and social sciences, value denotes the degree of importance of something or action, with the aim of determining which actions are best to do or what way is best to live (normative ethics in ethics), or to describe the significance of di ...
, such as love, intimacy,
honesty
Honesty or truthfulness is a facet of moral character that connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, straightforwardness, including straightforwardness of conduct, along with the absence of lying, cheating, theft ...
,
integrity
Integrity is the practice of being honest and showing a consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values.
In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions. In ...
,
equality
Equality may refer to:
Society
* Political equality, in which all members of a society are of equal standing
** Consociationalism, in which an ethnically, religiously, or linguistically divided state functions by cooperation of each group's elit ...
,
communication
Communication (from la, communicare, meaning "to share" or "to be in relation with") is usually defined as the transmission of information. The term may also refer to the message communicated through such transmissions or the field of inqui ...
, and
commitment.
It can sometimes be distinguished from some other forms of
ethical non-monogamy
Consensual non-monogamy (CNM), and its subset ethical non-monogamy (ENM), are the practice of non-monogamous intimate or sexual relations that are distinguished from infidelity by the knowledge and consent of those involved, and from polygamy by t ...
in that the relationships involved are loving intimate relationships, as opposed to purely sexual relationships.
Terminology
The word ''polyamorous'' first appeared in an article by
Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart
Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart (May 27, 1948 – May 13, 2014), born as Diana Moore, subsequently known as Morning Glory Ferns, Morning Glory Zell and briefly Morning G'Zell, was an American community leader, author, and lecturer in Neopagan ...
, "A Bouquet of Lovers", published in May 1990 in ''
Green Egg Magazine'', as "poly-amorous".
In May 1992, Jennifer L. Wesp created the
Usenet
Usenet () is a worldwide distributed discussion system available on computers. It was developed from the general-purpose Unix-to-Unix Copy (UUCP) dial-up network architecture. Tom Truscott and Jim Ellis conceived the idea in 1979, and it wa ...
newsgroup
A Usenet newsgroup is a repository usually within the Usenet system, for messages posted from users in different locations using the Internet. They are discussion groups and are not devoted to publishing news. Newsgroups are technically distinc ...
''alt.polyamory'', and the
Oxford English Dictionary
The ''Oxford English Dictionary'' (''OED'') is the first and foundational historical dictionary of the English language, published by Oxford University Press (OUP). It traces the historical development of the English language, providing a co ...
cites the proposal to create that group as the first verified appearance of the word.
In 1999, Zell-Ravenheart was asked by the editor of the OED to provide a definition of the term, and she provided it for the UK version as "the practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and
consent
Consent occurs when one person voluntarily agrees to the proposal or desires of another. It is a term of common speech, with specific definitions as used in such fields as the law, medicine, research, and sexual relationships. Consent as und ...
of all partners involved." The words ''polyamory'', ''polyamorous'', and ''polyamorist'' were added to the OED in 2006.
Some reference works define "polyamory" as a relational form (whether
interpersonal or
romantic or
sexual
Sex is the biological distinction of an organism between male and female.
Sex or SEX may also refer to:
Biology and behaviour
*Animal sexual behaviour
**Copulation (zoology)
**Human sexual activity
**Non-penetrative sex, or sexual outercourse
** ...
) that involves multiple people with the consent of all the people involved, like
Oxford Living Dictionaries
Lexico was a dictionary website that provided a collection of English and Spanish dictionaries produced by Oxford University Press (OUP), the publishing house of the University of Oxford. While the dictionary content on Lexico came from OUP, th ...
,
Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary
The ''Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary'' (abbreviated ''CALD'') was first published in 1995 under the name ''Cambridge International Dictionary of English'', by the Cambridge University Press
Cambridge University Press is the ...
&
Thesaurus
A thesaurus (plural ''thesauri'' or ''thesauruses'') or synonym dictionary is a reference work for finding synonyms and sometimes antonyms of words. They are often used by writers to help find the best word to express an idea:
Synonym dictionar ...
, and
Dictionary.com
Dictionary.com is an online dictionary whose domain was first registered on May 14, 1995. The primary content on Dictionary.com is a proprietary dictionary based on ''Random House Unabridged Dictionary'', with editors for the site providing new ...
. Some criticized the
Merriam-Webster definition of polyamory, which defines the term as "the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time," as missing a "vital component": consent.
The word polyamory combines the Greek word for many (poly) and the Latin word for love (amor).
As a practice
Consensual non-monogamy, which polyamory falls under, can take many different forms, depending on the needs and preferences of the individual(s) involved in any specific relationship(s). As of 2019, over one fifth of the United States population has, at some point in their lives, engaged in some sort of consensual non-monogamy.
Separate from polyamory as a philosophical basis for relationships are the practical ways in which people who live polyamorously arrange their lives and handle certain issues, as compared to those of a more conventional monogamous arrangement.
People of different
sexual orientations are a part of the community and form networks of relationships, with consent and agreement of their partners.
Many things differentiate polyamory from other types of non-monogamous relationships. It is common for
swinging and
open couples to maintain emotional monogamy while engaging in extra-dyadic sexual relations.
The friend or partner boundary in monogamous relationships and other forms of non-monogamy is typically fairly clear. Unlike other forms of non-monogamy, though, "polyamory is notable for privileging emotional intimacy with others."
Benefits of a polyamorous relationship might include: the ability of individuals to discuss issues with multiple partners, potentially mediating and thus stabilizing a relationship, and reducing polarization of viewpoints, and emotional support and structure from other committed adults within the familial unit. Other benefits include a wider range of adult experience, skills, resources, and perspective and support for companionate marriages, which can be satisfying even if no longer sexually vital, since romantic needs are met elsewhere. This acts to preserve existing relationships. A final benefit is more emotional, intellectual and sexual needs met as part of the understanding that one person cannot be expected to provide them all. Conversely, polyamory offers release from the monogamist expectation that one person must meet all of an individual's needs (sex, emotional support, primary friendship, intellectual stimulation, companionship, social presentation).
Polyamorous communities are present in countries within Europe, North America, Oceania, South America, Asia, and Africa. The
Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction
The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction (often shortened to The Kinsey Institute) is a research institute at Indiana University. Established in Bloomington, Indiana, in 1947 as a nonprofit, the institute merged with Indi ...
estimating that there were half-a-million "openly polyamorous families" in the United States in July 2009.
Additionally, 15–28% of heterosexual couples and about half of gay and bisexual people have a "non-traditional" arrangement of some kind as reported in ''
The Guardian
''The Guardian'' is a British daily newspaper. It was founded in 1821 as ''The Manchester Guardian'', and changed its name in 1959. Along with its sister papers ''The Observer'' and ''The Guardian Weekly'', ''The Guardian'' is part of the Gu ...
'' in August 2013. Polyamorous communities have been said to be outwardly
feminist as women were central to the creation of such communities and
gender equality
Gender equality, also known as sexual equality or equality of the sexes, is the state of equal ease of access to resources and opportunities regardless of gender, including economic participation and decision-making; and the state of valuing d ...
is a central tenet.
For those who are polyamorous,
social distancing
In public health, social distancing, also called physical distancing, (NB. Regula Venske is president of the PEN Centre Germany.) is a set of non-pharmaceutical interventions or measures intended to prevent the spread of a contagious dis ...
, as a result of the
COVID-19 pandemic
The COVID-19 pandemic, also known as the coronavirus pandemic, is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2). The novel virus was first identi ...
, created ripples in existing relationships, leading some to split apart and others to struggle to maintain their connections with one another.
Values
Fidelity and loyalty
![Polyamorie](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/99/Polyamorie.jpg)
A large percentage of polyamorists define ''fidelity'' not as sexual exclusivity, but as faithfulness to the promises and agreements made about a relationship.
As a relational practice, polyamory sustains a vast variety of open relationship or multi-partner constellations, which can differ in definition and grades of intensity, closeness and commitment.
Specifically,
polyamory can take the forms of a
triad of three people in an intimate relationship, a poly family of more than three people, one person as the pivot point of a relationship (a "vee"), a couple in a two-person relationship which portrays other relationships on their own, and various other intimate networks of individuals.
[ Also delivered to the ]Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS, or "quad-S") is a 501(c)3 non-profit professional membership organization "dedicated to advancing knowledge of sexuality and communicating scientifically based sexuality research and scholarsh ...
, Western Regional Conference, April 2002. There are also those who are swingers and engage in polyamory, or engage in poly-dating.
A poly family is sometimes called "kitchen table polyamory", a style of polyamory in which all members of a particular
polycule are comfortable and connected enough with each other that it is not uncommon for them to literally gather around the kitchen table, as they may spend holidays, birthdays, or other important times together as a large group. This style places an emphasis on family-style connections, and not all members are necessarily sexually or romantically involved with every other person in the group.
Other styles of polyamory include parallel polyamory, where members of individual relationships prefer not to meet or know details of their partners' other relationships,
and solo polyamory, in which the individual has or is comfortable with having multiple intimate (romantic or sexual) relationships without wanting to cohabit or "nest" with any one partner, eschewing the "relationship escalator" which holds that relationships must follow a progression, or "escalator" from dating, to being exclusive, to becoming engaged, getting married, and having children.
For some, polyamory functions as an umbrella term for the multiple approaches of 'responsible non-monogamy'.
A secret sexual relationship that violates those accords would be seen as a breach of fidelity. Polyamorists generally base definitions of ''commitment'' on considerations other than sexual exclusivity, e.g. "trust and honesty" or "growing old together". In an article in ''
Men's Health
''Men's Health'' (''MH''), published by Hearst, is the world's largest men's magazine brand, with 35 editions in 59 countries. It is also the best-selling men's magazine on U.S. newsstands.
Started as a men's health magazine by Rodale, Inc. ...
'', Zachary Zane states that commitment in a polyamorous relationship means that "you will be there for that person", supporting them, taking care of them, and loving them.
Communication and negotiation
Because there is no "standard model" for polyamorous relationships, and reliance upon common expectations may not be realistic, polyamorists advocate explicitly negotiating with all involved to establish the terms of their relationships, and often emphasize that this should be an ongoing process of honest communication and respect. Polyamorists typically take a pragmatic approach to their relationships; many accept that sometimes they and their partners will make mistakes and fail to live up to these ideals, and that communication is important for repairing any breaches.
They also argue that polyamory is a response to challenges of relationships of a monogamous nature.
Trust, honesty, dignity, and respect
Polyamory has been defined as loving more than one person at once, with respect, trust, and honesty for all partners involved.
[From PolyOz glossary: "Not in the inguistic roots of the termbut very important is the commitment to honesty with all partners, and openly negotiated ground rules.]
Scm-rpg.com
[Fro]
sexuality.org
"Two of the cultural cornerstones of the polyamory community are honesty and communication: it's expected that you and your existing long-term partner(s) will have talked over what you're comfortable with and what you aren't comfortable with, and that nobody is going around behind anyone else's back." Ideally, a partner's partners are accepted as part of that person's life rather than merely tolerated, and usually a relationship that requires deception or a "don't ask don't tell" policy is seen as a less than ideal model.
''
Out'' additionally described polyamory as "not a sexuality" but as actually "having multiple intimate relationships".
Non-possessiveness
Some polyamorists view excessive restrictions on other deep relationships as less than desirable, as such restrictions can be used to replace trust with a framework of ownership and control. It is usually preferred or encouraged that a polyamorist strive to view their partners' other significant others, often referred to as metamours or OSOs,
in terms of the gain to their partners' lives rather than a threat to their own (see
compersion
Polyamory () is the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. People who identify as polyamorous may believe in open relationships with ...
). Therefore, jealousy and possessiveness are generally viewed not so much as something to avoid or structure the relationships around, but as responses that should be explored, understood, and resolved within each individual, with compersion as a goal. This is related to one of the types of polyamory, which is non-hierarchical, where "no one relationship is prioritized above the rest"
and the fact that polyamorists insist on working through problems in their relationships "through open communication, patience, and honesty."
Compersion
Compersion is an empathetic state of happiness and joy experienced when another individual experiences happiness and joy. In the context of polyamorous relationships, it describes positive feelings experienced by an individual when their intimate partner is enjoying another relationship.
Some have called it "the opposite or flip side of jealousy,"
said it is analogous to the "joy parents feel when their children get married," and a "positive emotional reaction to a lover's other relationship."
The concept of compersion was originally coined by the
Kerista Commune in
San Francisco
San Francisco (; Spanish for " Saint Francis"), officially the City and County of San Francisco, is the commercial, financial, and cultural center of Northern California. The city proper is the fourth most populous in California and 17th ...
.
Difficulties
Morin (1999) and Fleckenstein (2014) noted that certain conditions are favorable to good experiences with polyamory, but that these differ from the general population.
Heavy public promotion of polyamory can have the unintended effect of attracting people to it for whom it is not well-suited. Unequal power-dynamics, such as financial dependence, can also inappropriately influence a person to agree to a polyamorous relationship against their true desires. Even in more equal power-dynamic relationships, the reluctant partner may feel coerced into a proposed non-monogamous arrangement due to the implication that if they refuse, the proposer will pursue other partners anyway, will break off the relationship, or that the one refusing will be accused of intolerance.
Polyamorous relationships present practical pitfalls. One common complaint from participants is time management, as more partners means one must divide one's time and attention up between them, leaving less for each.
Related is that the complexity of the arrangement can lead to so much effort being spent on the relationship that personal, individual needs can be overlooked.
The strong emphasis on communication can unintentionally marginalize partners who are less articulate.
Finally, negotiating the sometimes complex rules and boundaries of these relationships can be emotionally taxing, as can reconciling situations where one partner goes outside those boundaries.
Some therapists argue that polyamory is not good for relationships, saying it is a "recipe for hurt, disappointment, jealousy, and breakups".
Legal issues and legal recognition
![Malmö Pride 2017 (35639406753)](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/be/Malm%C3%B6_Pride_2017_%2835639406753%29.jpg)
In 1998, a
Tennessee
Tennessee ( , ), officially the State of Tennessee, is a landlocked state in the Southeastern region of the United States. Tennessee is the 36th-largest by area and the 15th-most populous of the 50 states. It is bordered by Kentucky to th ...
court granted guardianship of a child to her grandmother and step-grandfather, after the child's mother April Divilbiss and partners
outed
Outing is the act of disclosing an LGBT person's sexual orientation or gender identity without that person's consent. It is often done for political reasons, either to instrumentalize homophobia in order to discredit political opponents or to com ...
themselves as polyamorous on
MTV. After contesting the decision for two years, Divilbiss eventually agreed to relinquish her daughter, acknowledging that she was unable to adequately care for her child and that this, rather than her polyamory, had been the grandparents' real motivation in seeking custody.
In 2010, Ann Tweedy, a legal scholar, argued that polyamory could be considered a sexual orientation under existing
United States law
The law of the United States comprises many levels of codified and uncodified forms of law, of which the most important is the nation's Constitution, which prescribes the foundation of the federal government of the United States, as well a ...
. This argument was opposed by Christian Keese, who wrote in 2016 that advocating a "sexual orientation model of polyamory is likely to reduce the complexity and transformative potential of poly intimacies," while also limiting the reach and scope of possible litigation, obstructing the ability of poly activists to form alliances with other groups, and increasing the possibility that poly activists will have to settle for legal solutions which are "exclusive and reproductive of a culture of privilege".
In 2016, writer
Rebecca Ruth Gould Rebecca Ruth Gould is a writer, translator, and Professor of Islamic Studies and Comparative Literature at the University of Birmingham. Her academic interests are the Caucasus, Comparative Literature, Islam, Islamic Law, Islamic Studies, Persian li ...
called for
non-monogamy
Non-monogamy (or nonmonogamy) is an umbrella term for every practice or philosophy of non- dyadic intimate relationship that does not strictly hew to the standards of monogamy, particularly that of having only one person with whom to exchange s ...
, including polyamory, to receive "the legal recognition it deserves", saying that polyamory remains a "negative identity".
In 2017, three men became the first family in the state of
California
California is a state in the Western United States, located along the Pacific Coast. With nearly 39.2million residents across a total area of approximately , it is the most populous U.S. state and the 3rd largest by area. It is also the m ...
to have names of three fathers on their child's birth certificate. In later years, they had legal challenges and in 2020 published a book about their experiences titled ''Three Dads and a Baby''.
In June 2018, a court in
Newfoundland and Labrador
Newfoundland and Labrador (; french: Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador; frequently abbreviated as NL) is the easternmost provinces and territories of Canada, province of Canada, in the country's Atlantic Canada, Atlantic region. The province comprises t ...
recognized three unmarried adults as legal parents of a child who was born within the polyamorous family they had formed; this was believed to be a first for Canadian law. The three adults included the child's mother and two men; the child's biological father was unknown.
In June 2020, the city council of
Somerville, Massachusetts
Somerville ( ) is a city located directly to the northwest of Boston, and north of Cambridge, in Middlesex County, Massachusetts, United States. As of the 2020 United States Census, the city had a total population of 81,045 people. With an area o ...
, voted to recognize polyamorous domestic partnerships in the city, becoming the first American city to do so. This measure was passed so that those in a polyamorous relationship would have access to their partners' health insurance amid the
COVID-19 pandemic
The COVID-19 pandemic, also known as the coronavirus pandemic, is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2). The novel virus was first identi ...
.
In November 2020, the issue of polyamory came to the
Supreme Court of Vermont in the form of a dispute between two men and a woman in a polyamorous relationship.
In March 2021, the
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Cambridge ( ) is a city in Middlesex County, Massachusetts, United States. As part of the Boston metropolitan area, the cities population of the 2020 U.S. census was 118,403, making it the fourth most populous city in the state, behind Boston ...
City Council approved an ordinance amending the city's laws, stipulating that "a domestic partnership needn't only include two partners." The measure was supported by the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition, also known as PLAC, composed of the Chosen Family Law Center, Harvard Law School LGBTQ+ Advocacy Clinic, and some members on the
American Psychological Association
The American Psychological Association (APA) is the largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United States, with over 133,000 members, including scientists, educators, clinicians, consultants, and students. It ha ...
's Committee on Consensual Non-Monogamy. This ordinance was originally proposed in July 2020. In April 2021, the adjacent town of
Arlington, Massachusetts
Arlington is a town in Middlesex County, Massachusetts. The town is six miles (10 km) northwest of Boston, and its population was 46,308 at the 2020 census.
History
European colonists settled the Town of Arlington in 1635 as a village w ...
, approved domestic partnerships of more than two people through a motion at Town Meeting. Any motion approved at Arlington’s Town Meeting is subject to review and approval from the state Attorney General's office; by early January 2022 that office (the office of
Maura Healey
Maura Tracy Healey (born February 8, 1971) is an American politician and lawyer serving as the Massachusetts Attorney General since January 2015. She is the governor-elect of Massachusetts, having won the 2022 Massachusetts gubernatorial electi ...
) approved it.
In April 2021, a British Columbia Supreme Court justice declared a woman was the third legal parent in polyamorous "triad".
Marriage implications
Most
western
Western may refer to:
Places
*Western, Nebraska, a village in the US
*Western, New York, a town in the US
*Western Creek, Tasmania, a locality in Australia
*Western Junction, Tasmania, a locality in Australia
*Western world, countries that id ...
countries do not recognize
polygamous
Crimes
Polygamy (from Late Greek (') "state of marriage to many spouses") is the practice of marrying multiple spouses. When a man is married to more than one wife at the same time, sociologists call this polygyny. When a woman is marrie ...
marriages, and consider
bigamy a crime. Several countries also prohibit people from living a polygamous lifestyle. This is the case in some states of the United States where
the criminalization of a polygamous lifestyle originated as
anti-Mormon laws, although they are rarely enforced. Having multiple non-marital partners, even if married to one, is legal in most U.S. jurisdictions; at most it constitutes grounds for
divorce
Divorce (also known as dissolution of marriage) is the process of terminating a marriage or marital union. Divorce usually entails the canceling or reorganizing of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage, thus dissolving the ...
if the spouse is non-consenting, or feels that the interest in a further partner has destabilized the marriage. In some jurisdictions, like
North Carolina
North Carolina () is a state in the Southeastern region of the United States. The state is the 28th largest and 9th-most populous of the United States. It is bordered by Virginia to the north, the Atlantic Ocean to the east, Georgia and ...
, a spouse can sue a third party for causing "loss of affection" in or "criminal conversation" (
adultery
Adultery (from Latin ''adulterium'') is extramarital sex that is considered objectionable on social, religious, moral, or legal grounds. Although the sexual activities that constitute adultery vary, as well as the social, religious, and legal ...
) with their spouse, while more than twenty states in the US have laws against adultery, although they are infrequently enforced after the Supreme Court's ruling in ''
Lawrence v. Texas
''Lawrence v. Texas'', 539 U.S. 558 (2003), is a landmark decision of the U.S. Supreme Court in which the Court ruled that most sanctions of criminal punishment for consensual, adult non- procreative sexual activity (commonly referred to as so ...
'' (which did not explicitly hold such laws to be unconstitutional but whose
reasoning clearly implies that conclusion).
Polyamory, however, is on a continuum of family-bonds that includes group marriage and it does not refer to
bigamy
In cultures where monogamy is mandated, bigamy is the act of entering into a marriage with one person while still legally married to another. A legal or de facto separation of the couple does not alter their marital status as married persons. I ...
as long as no claim to being married in formal legal terms is made. ''The Social History of the American Family: An Encyclopedia'' (2014, edited by Marilyn J. Coleman and Lawrence H. Ganong) stated that under existing U.S. federal law, a polyamorous relationship is legal in all 50 states while polygamy is not. On November 23, 2011, the Supreme Court of British Columbia ruled that the anti-polygamy law of Canada does not affect unformalized polyamorous households; this is why Polyamory Day is celebrated every year on November 23.
Even so, those in polyamorous relationships often face legal challenges when it comes to custody, morality clauses, adultery and bigamy laws, housing, and where they live.
In 2012, legal scholar Deborah Anapol called for the revision of existing U.S. laws against bigamy to permit married persons to enter into additional marriages, provided that they have first given legal notice to their existing marital partner or partners, with a "dyadic networks" model. In 2015, another legal scholar, Ronald C. Den Otter, wrote in the ''Emory Law Journal'' (in the article "Three May Not Be a Crowd: The Case for a Constitutional Right to Plural Marriage") that in the United States the constitutional rights of
due process and
equal protection
The Equal Protection Clause is part of the first section of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. The clause, which took effect in 1868, provides "''nor shall any State ... deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal ...
fully support marriage rights for polyamorous families.
During a
PinkNews
''PinkNews'' is a UK-based online newspaper marketed to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community ( LGBT) in the UK and worldwide. It was founded by Benjamin Cohen in 2005.
It closely follows political progress on LGBT rights a ...
question-and-answer session in May 2015, Redfern Jon Barrett questioned
Natalie Bennett
Natalie Louise Bennett, Baroness Bennett of Manor Castle (born 10 February 1966) is a Australian-British politician and journalist who served as Leader of the Green Party of England and Wales from 2012 to 2016. Bennett was given a peerage in ...
, leader of the
Green Party of England and Wales
The Green Party of England and Wales (GPEW; cy, Plaid Werdd Cymru a Lloegr, kw, Party Gwer Pow an Sowson ha Kembra, often simply the Green Party or Greens) is a green, left-wing political party in England and Wales. Since October 2021, Carla ...
, about her party's stance toward polyamorous marriage rights. Bennett responded by saying that her party is "open" to discussion on the idea of civil partnership or marriages between three people. Bennett's announcement aroused media controversy on the topic and led to major international news outlets covering her answer. A follow-up article written by Barrett was published by PinkNews on May 4, 2015, further exploring the topic.
In most countries, it is legal for three or more people to form and share a sexual relationship (subject sometimes to laws against
homosexuality
Homosexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior between members of the same sex or gender. As a sexual orientation, homosexuality is "an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions" to pe ...
or
adultery
Adultery (from Latin ''adulterium'') is extramarital sex that is considered objectionable on social, religious, moral, or legal grounds. Although the sexual activities that constitute adultery vary, as well as the social, religious, and legal ...
if two of the three are married). With only minor exceptions no developed countries permit ''marriage'' among more than two people, nor do the majority of countries give legal protection (e.g., of rights relating to children) to non-married partners. Individuals involved in polyamorous relationships are generally considered by the law to be no different from people who live together, or "
date
Date or dates may refer to:
*Date (fruit), the fruit of the date palm (''Phoenix dactylifera'')
Social activity
*Dating, a form of courtship involving social activity, with the aim of assessing a potential partner
** Group dating
*Play date, a ...
", under other circumstances. In 2017, John Alejandro Rodriguez, Victor Hugo Prada, and Manuel Jose Bermudez became
Colombia's first polyamorous family to have a legally recognized relationship,
though not a marriage, as by Colombian law, marriage is between two people, so they instead called it a "special patrimonial union".
Some have called for
domestic partnership laws to be expanded to include polyamorous couples and have said that marriage-like entitlements should apply to such couples.
In later years, in the debate over
same-sex marriage
Same-sex marriage, also known as gay marriage, is the marriage of two people of the same sex or gender. marriage between same-sex couples is legally performed and recognized in 33 countries, with the most recent being Mexico, constituting ...
, neither those for nor those against it favored
polygamy
Crimes
Polygamy (from Late Greek (') "state of marriage to many spouses") is the practice of marriage, marrying multiple spouses. When a man is married to more than one wife at the same time, sociologists call this polygyny. When a woman is ...
itself, with agreement that multiparty marriage should remain impossible. In the case of polyamory, which is different from
polygyny
Polygyny (; from Neoclassical Greek πολυγυνία (); ) is the most common and accepted form of polygamy around the world, entailing the marriage of a man with several women.
Incidence
Polygyny is more widespread in Africa than in any ...
, there was little public debate about its existence. This is because some advocates of same-sex marriage became leery of associating with polyamory because they thought it would "give their enemies ammunition".
If marriage is intended, some countries provide for both a religious marriage and a civil ceremony (sometimes combined). These recognize and formalize the relationship. Few countries outside of Africa or Asia give
legal recognition
Legal recognition of a status or fact in a jurisdiction is formal acknowledgement of it as being true, valid, legal, or worthy of consideration, and may involve approval or the granting of rights.
For example, a nation or territory may require a ...
to marriages with three or more partners.
Prevalence
![Polyamory Pride at CSD Parade Graz 03](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/36/Polyamory_Pride_at_CSD_Parade_Graz_03.jpg)
Research into the prevalence of polyamory has been limited. A comprehensive government study of sexual attitudes, behaviors and relationships in
Finland
Finland ( fi, Suomi ; sv, Finland ), officially the Republic of Finland (; ), is a Nordic country in Northern Europe. It shares land borders with Sweden to the northwest, Norway to the north, and Russia to the east, with the Gulf of B ...
in 1992 (age 18–75, around 50% female and male) found that around 200 out of 2250 (8.9%) respondents "agreed or strongly agreed" with the statement "I could maintain several sexual relationships at the same time" and 8.2% indicated a relationship type "that best suits" at the present stage of life would involve multiple partners. By contrast, when asked about other relationships at the same time as a steady relationship, around 17% stated they had had other partners while in a steady relationship (50% no, 17% yes, 33% refused to answer).
The article ''What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory'' (by Geri Weitzman) based on a paper presented at the 8th Annual Diversity Conference in March 1999 in
Albany, New York
Albany ( ) is the capital of the U.S. state of New York, also the seat and largest city of Albany County. Albany is on the west bank of the Hudson River, about south of its confluence with the Mohawk River, and about north of New York C ...
, states that while openly polyamorous relationships are relatively rare there are "indications that private polyamorous arrangements within relationships are actually quite common." They also note, citing 1983 study of 3,574 married couples in their sample that "15–28% had an understanding that allows nonmonogamy under some circumstances," with percentages are higher among "cohabitating couples (28%), lesbian couples (29%) and gay male couples (65%)." According to Jessica Fern, a psychologist and the author of ''Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy'', as of September 2020, about 4% of Americans, nearly 16 million people, are "practising a
non-monogamous
Non-monogamy (or nonmonogamy) is an umbrella term for every practice or philosophy of non- dyadic intimate relationship that does not strictly hew to the standards of monogamy, particularly that of having only one person with whom to exchange se ...
style of relationship". A study by Amy C. Moors, Amanda N. Gesselman and Justin R. Garcia published on 23 March 2021 and using a sample of 3,438 individuals has shown that 10.7% of the sample were engaged in a polyamorous relationship at some point in their life, and 16.8% reported a desire to try or be in one. The study also revelated a correlation between educational background and polyamory, showing lesser-educated male individuals were more likely to engage or having been engaged in polyamorous relationships. These findings indicate that the number of Americans who have engaged in polyamorous relationships is significantly higher than previously thought.
Notable practitioners of polyamory
*
Dossie Easton
Dorothy "Dossie" Easton (born February 26, 1944), who has also written under the name Scarlet Woman, is an American author and family therapist based in San Francisco, California. She is polyamorous and lives in West Marin, California.
Backgro ...
, co-author of ''
The Ethical Slut'' and other works
*
Terisa Greenan
Terisa Greenan (born November 15, 1967) is an American film producer, film director, writer and stage and film actress.
Background
Raised in the suburbs of Los Angeles, Greenan attended Whitney High School (Cerritos, California) from 6th thro ...
, writer, actress, filmmaker, and creator of ''
Family: the web series''
*
Laurell K. Hamilton, writer, known for ''
Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter''
*
Janet Hardy
Janet W. Hardy is an American writer and sex educator, and founder of Greenery Press. She has also been published as ''Catherine A. Liszt'' and ''Lady Green''. She is the author or co-author of eleven books, and frequently collaborates with Doss ...
, writer and sex educator, and founder of
Greenery Press
Greenery Press is a publishing house based in Emeryville, California, specializing in books on BDSM (particularly femdom) and polyamory, with over 50 titles in print. Most titles are non-fiction, but a smaller number of fiction titles and memo ...
*
Brenda Howard, bisexual rights activist
*
Willow Smith
Willow Camille Reign Smith (born October 31, 2000), known mononymously as Willow (stylized in all caps), is an American singer and actress. The daughter of actors Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, she has received various accolades, including ...
, American musician
Acceptance by religions
![Oneida Commune](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1f/Oneida_Commune.png)
The
Oneida Community
The Oneida Community was a perfectionist religious communal society founded by John Humphrey Noyes and his followers in 1848 near Oneida, New York. The community believed that Jesus had already returned in AD 70, making it possible for the ...
in the 1800s in New York (a Christian religious commune) believed strongly in a system of
free love
Free love is a social movement that accepts all forms of love. The movement's initial goal was to separate the state from sexual and romantic matters such as marriage, birth control, and adultery. It stated that such issues were the concern ...
known as a
complex marriage, where any member was free to have sex with any other who consented. In 1993, the archives of the community were made available to scholars for the first time. Contained within the archives was the journal of Tirzah Miller, Noyes' niece, who wrote extensively about her romantic and sexual relations with other members of Oneida.
Some Christians are polyamorous, but mainstream Christianity
does not accept polyamory. In 2017, the
Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, an evangelical Christian organization, released a manifesto on human sexuality known as the "
Nashville Statement". The statement was signed by 150 evangelical leaders, and includes 14 points of belief. Among other things, it states, "We deny that God has designed marriage to be a homosexual, polygamous, or polyamorous relationship."
Some Jews are polyamorous, but mainstream Judaism does not accept polyamory. However, in 2000, Rabbi Jacob Levin came out as polyamorous to his synagogue's board in California without losing his job as rabbi. As well, in his book ''A Guide to Jewish Practice: Volume 1 – Everyday Living'' (2011), Rabbi David Teutsch wrote, "It is not obvious that monogamy is automatically a morally higher form of relationship than polygamy," and that if practiced with honesty, flexibility, egalitarian rules, and trust, practitioners may "live enriched lives as a result". In 2013,
Sharon Kleinbaum, the senior rabbi at
Congregation Beit Simchat Torah
Congregation Beit Simchat Torah ("CBST") is a synagogue located in Manhattan, New York City. It was founded in 1973, and is the world's largest LGBT synagogue. CBST serves Jews of all sexual orientations and gender identities, their families, ...
in New York, said that polyamory is a choice that does not preclude a Jewishly observant and socially conscious life.
Some polyamorous Jews point to biblical patriarchs having multiple wives and concubines as evidence that polyamorous relationships can be sacred in Judaism. An email list is dedicated to polyamorous Jews; it is called ''AhavaRaba'', which roughly translates to "big love" in Hebrew, and which echoes God's "great" or "abounding" love mentioned in the
Ahava rabbah prayer.
LaVeyan Satanism
LaVeyan Satanism is a nontheistic religion founded in 1966 by the American occultist and author Anton Szandor LaVey. Scholars of religion have classified it as a new religious movement and a form of Western esotericism.
LaVey established his m ...
is critical of Abrahamic sexual mores, considering them narrow, restrictive and hypocritical. Satanists are pluralists, accepting polyamorists, bisexuals, lesbians, gays,
BDSM
BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged ...
, transgender people, and
asexuals. Sex is viewed as an indulgence, but one that should only be freely entered into with consent.
The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth only give two instructions regarding sex: "Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal" and "Do not harm little children", though the latter is much broader and encompasses physical and other abuse. This has always been a consistent part of CoS policy since its inception in 1966. Magister Peter H. Gillmore wrote in an essay supporting
same-sex marriage
Same-sex marriage, also known as gay marriage, is the marriage of two people of the same sex or gender. marriage between same-sex couples is legally performed and recognized in 33 countries, with the most recent being Mexico, constituting ...
that some people try to suggest that their attitude on sexuality is "anything goes" even though they have a principle of "responsibility to the responsible". He also stated that the Church of Satan's philosophy "strictly forbids sexual activity with children as well as with non-human animals."
Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness, founded in 2001, has engaged in ongoing education and advocacy for greater understanding and acceptance of polyamory within the
Unitarian Universalist Association.
At the 2014
General Assembly
A general assembly or general meeting is a meeting of all the members of an organization or shareholders of a company.
Specific examples of general assembly include:
Churches
* General Assembly (presbyterian church), the highest court of presb ...
, two UUPA members moved to include the category of "family and relationship structures" in the UUA's nondiscrimination rule, along with other amendments; the package of proposed amendments was ratified by the GA delegates.
Acceptance by non-religious organizations
In 2018, the Association of
Humanistic Rabbis issued "A Statement on Sexual Ethics for the 21st Century", which states in part, "We commit to the freedom and empowerment of all adults to full consensual sexual expression, be it monogamous or polyamorous."
In a clinical setting
In 2002, a paper titled ''Working with polyamorous clients in the clinical setting'' (by Joy Davidson)
addressed various areas of inquiry. This included the importance of talking about alternatives to monogamy, how therapists can work with those who are exploring polyamory, basic understandings of polyamory, and key issues that therapists need to watch for in the course of working with polyamorous clients.
Its conclusions were that "Sweeping changes are occurring in the sexual and relational landscape" (including "dissatisfaction with limitations of serial monogamy, i.e. exchanging one partner for another in the hope of a better outcome"); that clinicians need to start by "recognizing the array of possibilities that 'polyamory' encompasses" and "examine our culturally-based assumption that 'only monogamy is acceptable'" and how this bias impacts on the practice of therapy; the need for self-education about polyamory, basic understandings about the "rewards of the poly lifestyle" and the common social and relationship challenges faced by those involved, and the "shadow side" of polyamory, the potential existing for coercion, strong emotions in opposition, and jealousy. The paper also states that the configurations a therapist would be "most likely to see in practice" are individuals involved in primary-plus arrangements, monogamous couples wishing to explore non-monogamy for the first time, and "poly singles".
In 2002, the rights of polyamorous people were added to the mission of the
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) is an American sex-positive advocacy and educational organization founded in 1998. NCSF has over one hundred coalition partners (consisting of businesses including law firms, mental health professi ...
, an American
sex-positive advocacy and educational organization;
a manual for psychotherapists who deal with polyamorous clients was published by them in September 2009, called ''What Psychotherapists Should Know About Polyamory'' (written by Geri Weitzman and others).
The
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) is an American sex-positive advocacy and educational organization founded in 1998. NCSF has over one hundred coalition partners (consisting of businesses including law firms, mental health professi ...
manages the Kink And Poly Aware Professionals Directory, which consists of an Internet directory of psychotherapeutic, medical, and other professionals who have volunteered to be contacted by people who are involved in polyamory (and/or
BDSM
BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged ...
, etc).
The Polyamory-Friendly Professionals Directory is a directory on the Internet “of professionals who are sensitive to the unique needs of polyamorous clientele”; it includes psychologists, therapists, medical professionals, and other professionals.
Media representation
1980s to 2000s
Starfire, also known as Princess Koriand'r, is a fictional
superhero appearing in books published by
DC Comics
DC Comics, Inc. (doing business as DC) is an American comic book publisher and the flagship unit of DC Entertainment, a subsidiary of Warner Bros. Discovery.
DC Comics is one of the largest and oldest American comic book companies, with thei ...
, who debuted in a
preview story inserted within ''
DC Comics Presents
''DC Comics Presents'' is a comic book series published by DC Comics from 1978 to 1986 which ran for 97 issues and four ''Annual''s. It featured team-ups between Superman and a wide variety of other characters in the DC Universe. A recurring bac ...
'' #26 (October 1980) and was created by
Marv Wolfman
Marvin Arthur Wolfman (born May 13, 1946) is an American comic book and novelization writer. He worked on Marvel Comics's '' The Tomb of Dracula'', for which he and artist Gene Colan created the vampire-slayer Blade, and DC Comics's ''The New Te ...
and
George Pérez
George Pérez (; June 9, 1954 – May 6, 2022) was an American comic book artist and writer, who worked primarily as a penciller. He came to prominence in the 1970s penciling ''Fantastic Four'' and '' The Avengers'' for Marvel Comics. In the 198 ...
; she was shown to be a polyamorous character. Starfire was raised on the world of Tamaran where it was acceptable to have an
open marriage
Open marriage is a form of non-monogamy in which the partners of a dyadic marriage agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without this being regarded by them as infidelity, and consider or establish an open relatio ...
, and she remained, as argued by some critics, sex-positive and free-thinking, remaining open to polygamous relationships, open sex, and pansexual "free-love" with anyone, often leading to conflict with the more reserved culture and customs on Earth.
For Starfire, polyamory was a personal and cultural preference.
In 1989, the anime series ''
Ranma ½
is a Japanese manga series written and illustrated by Rumiko Takahashi. It was serialized in ''Weekly Shōnen Sunday'' from August 1987 to March 1996, with the chapters collected into 38 ''tankōbon'' volumes by Shogakukan. The s ...
'' included a polyamorous character, Tatewaki, who is in love with both Akane and the "Pigtail Girl" (Ranma's female form) and proposes to date both, but they do not return his feelings.
In 2002, the ''
Futurama'' episode "
A Taste of Freedom" showed Old Man Waterfall, who is Zoidberg's defense attorney until killed by a giant crab warship, having seven wives and one husband. While Waterfall's case for Zoidberg is unsuccessful, the Supreme Court holds polygamy as legal, though this leads to jeers from spectators. The made-for-TV ''
Futurama'' film, ''
The Beast with a Billion Backs'' (published 2008), featured two polyamorous characters: Colleen O'Hallahan and Yivo. Colleen had five boyfriends, Fry, Chu, Ndulu, Schlomo and Bolt Rolands, while Yivo is a planet-sized alien with no determinable gender, dating, then marrying all people of the universe at once.
Fry and Colleen eventually break up. Afterwards, Yivo remains in a relationship with Colleen.
The 21st century brought various new forms of representation of polyamory. In 2007, Daniel Help Justice's book ''Dreyd'' featured Tarsa, a priestess, warrior, and bisexual woman, as part of a polyamorous love triad.
In 2009,
Graham Nicholls founded www.polyamory.org.uk, the United Kingdom's first website about polyamory and the Mom of Pina in Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli's novel, ''Love You Two'' was shown to be polyamorous and bisexual, leading Pina on a journey to explore the "complex spectrum of sex and love" in humanity itself.
In 2010, the series ''
Lost Girl
''Lost Girl'' is a Canadian supernatural drama television series that premiered on Showcase on September 12, 2010, and ran for five seasons. It follows the life of a bisexual succubus named Bo, played by Anna Silk, as she learns to control ...
'' began. It included
Bo Dennis, a bisexual
succubus
A succubus is a demon or supernatural entity in folklore, in female form, that appears in dreams to seduce men, usually through sexual activity. According to religious tradition, a succubus needs male semen to survive; repeated sexual activi ...
which must sustain herself by feeding from the
life force of male and female Fae and humans, via oral intake or the energy created through sex. In the first two seasons she was involved romantically with Dyson (a heterosexual
shapeshifter
In mythology, folklore and speculative fiction, shape-shifting is the ability to physically transform oneself through an inherently superhuman ability, divine intervention, demonic manipulation, sorcery, spells or having inherited the ...
) and Lauren (a
lesbian human). Later on, Bo tried to have a
monogamous relationship with Lauren, with Bo and Lauren remaining in love with each other through ups and downs, and later accepting each other as a couple by the end of the series.
Increased representation in the 2010s
Polyamorous characters appeared in various media in the 2010s. In the 2010 television show ''
Caprica'', several main characters are portrayed as being in a
polyfidelitous-style marriage consisting of multiple men and women, with each member being equal socially and legally. From 2012 to 2013, the American
reality television
Reality television is a genre of television programming that documents purportedly unscripted real-life situations, often starring unfamiliar people rather than professional actors. Reality television emerged as a distinct genre in the early ...
series on the American
pay television
Pay television, also known as subscription television, premium television or, when referring to an individual service, a premium channel, refers to subscription-based television services, usually provided by multichannel television providers, b ...
network
Network, networking and networked may refer to:
Science and technology
* Network theory, the study of graphs as a representation of relations between discrete objects
* Network science, an academic field that studies complex networks
Mathematics ...
Showtime
Showtime or Show Time may refer to:
Film
* ''Showtime'' (film), a 2002 American action/comedy film
* ''Showtime'' (video), a 1995 live concert video by Blur
Television Networks and channels
* Showtime Networks, a division of Paramount Global w ...
, ''
Polyamory: Married & Dating'', was broadcast. It followed polyamorous families as they navigated the challenges presented by polyamory. Around the same time, the webcomic ''Kimchi Cuddles'' began, which portrayed polyamorous people like other characters, "only with more partners to steal their blankets."
The following years featured a polyamorous captain in Jacqueline Koyanagi's novel, ''Ascension'',
and three characters (Reese, David, and Amber) in a relationship in
Malinda Lo
Malinda Lo is an American writer of young adult novels including ''Ash'', ''Huntress'', ''Adaptation'', ''Inheritance,'' ''A Line in the Dark'', and '' Last Night at the Telegraph Club''. She also does research on diversity in young adult literat ...
's novel, ''Inheritance''.
In 2011, ''
American Horror Story: Hotel'' began, with Countess Elizabeth Johnson, played by
Lady Gaga
Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta ( ; born March 28, 1986), known professionally as Lady Gaga, is an American singer, songwriter, and actress. She is known for her image reinventions and musical versatility. Gaga began performing as a teenag ...
, beginning a relationship with famed film actor
Rudolph Valentino and his wife,
Natacha Rambova
Natacha Rambova (born Winifred Kimball Shaughnessy; January 19, 1897 – June 5, 1966) was an American film costume designer, set designer, and occasional actress who was active in Hollywood in the 1920s. In her later life, she abandoned design ...
, as seen in episode seven. The following year, the YouTube show ''The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo'' would show a couple working through their decision to convert from monogamy to polyamory, like Brian Jordan Alvarez, who considers himself polyamorous.
From 2015 to 2017, in the webcomic ''Always Human'' by Ari North, the parents of Sunati (Nisa and Prav) were shown to be in a polyamorous relationship with a man named Vish, who Nisa calls "our boyfriend". In another webcomic, ''Unknown Lands'', which began in 2015, Vard is shown to be polyamorous, along with most of the cast having a queer sexual identity. The webcomic itself has environmental, feminist, and LGBTQ+ themes. A few years later, the 2017 film ''
Professor Marston and the Wonder Women
''Professor Marston and the Wonder Women'' is a 2017 American biographical drama film about American psychologist William Moulton Marston, who created the fictional character Wonder Woman. The film, directed and written by Angela Robinson, star ...
'' focuses on a polyamorous relationship between a professor, his wife, and their student, Olive, as they share a "workplace, a bed, a home and eventually a family." Furthermore, fiction writer
Cassandra Clare
Judith Lewis (née Rumelt; born July 27, 1973), better known by her pen name Cassandra Clare, is an American author of young adult fiction, best known for her bestselling series ''The Mortal Instruments''.''
Personal life
Clare was born Judith ...
stated that Mark Blackthorn in ''
The Dark Artifices'' book series would "definitely be open to a polyamorous relationship", but would not cheat or lie, while noting that another such relationship between other characters would not be possible. Eventually, he ends up in a polyamorous triangle, with a girlfriend and a boyfriend who are dating each other. Additionally, writer K. Ancrum confirmed that polyamorous characters were in two of her books (''The Wicker King'' and ''The Weight of the Stars''), but did not name any specific characters. At the same time, Em, best friend of the protagonist in two books by Leigh Matthews (''Don't Bang the Barista'' and ''Go Deep'') is a bisexual woman dating a man in the first book, but by the second book she has "happily settled into a poly triad", wondering how she will get married.
On May 29, 2017, in the last season of ''
Steven Universe
''Steven Universe'' is an American animated television series created by Rebecca Sugar for Cartoon Network. It tells the coming-of-age story of a young boy, Steven Universe ( Zach Callison), who lives with the Crystal Gems—magical, mineral ...
'', Fluorite, a member of the
Off Colors
"Off Colors" is the third episode of the fifth season of the American animated television series ''Steven Universe'', which premiered on May 29, 2017 on Cartoon Network. It was written and storyboarded by Lamar Abrams and Jeff Liu. The episode was ...
, a fusion of six different gems into one being, with fusion as the physical manifestation of a relationship, was introduced. This character reappeared in various episodes in the show's fifth season ("Lars Head", "Lars of the Stars", "Your Mother and Mine"), the season 5 finale, "
Change Your Mind", along with one in ''
Steven Universe Future'' ("Little Graduation") and in ''
Steven Universe: The Movie'', with the latter two as non-speaking appearances. The series creator,
Rebecca Sugar
Rebecca Rea Sugar (born July 9, 1987) is an American animator and screenwriter. She is best known for being the creator of the Cartoon Network series ''Steven Universe'', making her the first non-binary person to independently create a series fo ...
, confirmed that Fluorite is a representation of a polyamorous relationship at the show's
Comic Con
A comic book convention or comic-con is an event with a primary focus on comic books and comic book culture, in which comic book fans gather to meet creators, experts, and each other. Commonly, comic conventions are multi-day events hosted at co ...
panel in
San Diego
San Diego ( , ; ) is a city on the Pacific Ocean coast of Southern California located immediately adjacent to the Mexico–United States border. With a 2020 population of 1,386,932, it is the eighth most populous city in the United State ...
.
Sugar said at the panel, and at another conference, that she was inspired after talking with children at an LGBTQ+ center in
Long Beach
Long Beach is a city in Los Angeles County, California. It is the 42nd-most populous city in the United States, with a population of 466,742 as of 2020. A charter city, Long Beach is the seventh-most populous city in California.
Incorporate ...
, California, who wanted a polyamorous character in the show.
''Steven Universe'' was not alone in this regard. The
fourth season of ''
BoJack Horseman'', a
mature animated series, featured a character named Hollyhock, the sister of the protagonist, who has eight adoptive fathers in a polyamorous gay relationship. The same year, ''Unicornland'' premiered, with eight-episode web series focusing on Annie's exploration into polyamory after her divorce.
2018–present
Polyamory was the subject of the 2018
Louis Theroux
Louis Sebastian Theroux (; born 20 May 1970) is a British-American documentarian, journalist, broadcaster, and author. He has received two British Academy Television Awards and a Royal Television Society Television Award.
After graduating fro ...
documentary ''Love Without Limits'', where Theroux travels to
Portland
Portland most commonly refers to:
* Portland, Oregon, the largest city in the state of Oregon, in the Pacific Northwest region of the United States
* Portland, Maine, the largest city in the state of Maine, in the New England region of the northeas ...
,
Oregon
Oregon () is a state in the Pacific Northwest region of the Western United States. The Columbia River delineates much of Oregon's northern boundary with Washington, while the Snake River delineates much of its eastern boundary with Idaho. T ...
, to meet a number of people engaged in polyamorous relationships. Also in 2018, ''
195 Lewis'', a web series about a
black lesbian couple dealing with their relationship being newly polyamorous, received the Breakthrough Series – Short Form award from the
Gotham Awards
The Gotham Awards () are American film awards, presented annually to the makers of independent films at a ceremony in New York City, the city first nicknamed "Gotham" by native son Washington Irving, in an issue of ''Salmagundi'', published o ...
. The series premiered in 2017 and ran for five episodes. The same year, the comic ''Open Earth'' premiered. The comic is set in the future and monogamous relationships are seen as outdated to all the young people on board the space station, all who are polyamorous. Author Sarah Mirk said that she wanted to write a story where "open relationships can be really positive and wonderful" and said that its realistic to believe that people would "explore multiple relationships". She also said she wanted to write a story where it was "totally normal to be queer and genderqueer."
''Trigonometry'' is an eight-part
BBC #REDIRECT BBC #REDIRECT BBC
Here i going to introduce about the best teacher of my life b BALAJI sir. He is the precious gift that I got befor 2yrs . How has helped and thought all the concept and made my success in the 10th board exam. ...
...
TV drama series which started on March 25, 2020, and is about an existing couple being joined by a third person and forming a polyamorous relationship. The BBC said that ''Trigonometry'' is "A love story about three people who are made for each other." In July 2021, Australian soap opera ''
'' explored polyamory with three of its main characters. Actress
was proud to be involved in the story arc, stating: "I think we should always try to reflect real intimate relationships in our society. Polyamory certainly is a part of that. The more we represent the beautifully diverse nature and uniqueness of humans, the more people will feel accepted and seen."
In the 3rd season of the Netflix TV show
, a sub-plot concerning polyamory is included, depicting two secondary characters who are self-proclaimed polyamorists, and attempting to engage with the show's main protagonists, Joe and Love. However, leaders in the polyamory community have pointed out that the characters in the show are actually
, and the show misrepresents the polyamory culture significantly, as well as presenting a very negative image of those who practice it.
Metamour Day is celebrated every year on February 28. It celebrates the relationships people have with their metamours (partners' other significant others, often referred to as metamours or OSOs.
.
s.
International Solo Polyamory Day is celebrated every year on September 24.
Solo polyamory is a type of polyamory in which an individual has or is comfortable with having multiple intimate (romantic or sexual) relationships without wanting to cohabit or "nest" with any one partner, eschewing the "relationship escalator" which holds that relationships must follow a progression, or "escalator" from dating, to being exclusive, to becoming engaged, getting married and having children.
Polyamory Day is celebrated every year on November 23; that day was chosen because on November 23, 2011, the Supreme Court of British Columbia ruled that the anti-polygamy law of Canada does not affect unformalized polyamorous households.
The Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association (CPAA) was founded in 2009. It "advocates on behalf of Canadians who practice polyamory. It
promotes legal, social, government, and institutional acceptance and support of polyamory, and advances the interests of the Canadian polyamorous community generally."
The Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy (OPEN) was founded in the United States in 2022 as “a nonprofit organization dedicated to normalizing and empowering non-monogamous individuals and communities.”
The Polyamory Action Lobby (PAL) was founded in 2013 in Australia to fight cultural misconceptions about polyamorous people and to fight for their legal rights.
The Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition (PLAC), based in the United States, "seeks to advance the civil and human rights of polyamorous individuals, communities, and families through legislative advocacy, public policy, and public education."
(UUPA) was founded in 2001. It "has as its mission to serve the Unitarian Universalist Association and the community of polyamorous people within and outside the UUA by providing support, promoting education, and encouraging spiritual wholeness regarding polyamory."
writers, thinkers, and artists, criticized polyamory. She argued that polyamory does not make someone
a "peculiar form of monogamy...and long-term relationships" and said that she does not care "whether or not the
polyamory or polygamy". Elsewhere she called current interest in polyamory and
a discourse which "retains power within a very particular set of social orderings", stated that recognizing polygamous and polyamorous relationships will not "fix all our problems" and said that she does not understand polyamory because she is an "old-fashioned
", using sex as an "ice-breaker with strangers". In February 2019, she offered other critique, saying that polyamory "fills the void left by
". She further argued that polyamory is not
and said that, in her view, "it ultimately serves to shore up a hierarchy of relationships" and is pretentious, while stating that polyamory is becoming a
'' that said that while she does not care how people organize their relationships, the "co-opting and rebranding of polygamy" is disturbing, while also stating that the idea of non-monogamy was actually developed by
from the 1970s and later as a way "to challenge patriarchal heterosexuality". She further argued that "modern proponents of polyamory tend to ignore gender-dynamics" and called polyamory the choice of "overwhelmingly white, affluent, university-educated, and privileged folk" who have too much time on their hands.
The
'' claimed that "widespread acceptance of polyamory could make society worse off" with supposed false notions of
'' said that while he would welcome a polyamorous family as neighbors, it would not make sense to call their arrangement a
.
Scientific study of psychological well-being and relationship satisfaction for participants in polyamory has been limited due to mostly being a "hidden population". While some results could be interpreted as positive, these findings often suffer from bias and methodological issues.
, and websites devoted to polyamory.
Individuals recruited in this manner tend to be relatively homogeneous in terms of values, beliefs, and demographics, which limits the generalizability of the findings. These samples also tend to be
toward individuals with positive experiences, whereas those who found polyamory to be distressing or hurtful might be more reluctant to participate in the research.
. Generally, self-reports of the degree of well-being and relationship satisfaction over time are flawed, and are often based on belief rather than actual experience.
bias, as subjects may feel pressure to give positive responses about their well-being and relationship satisfaction in the face of
.
This disparity was noted by Amy C. Moors,
, Robin S. Edelstein, and William J. Chopik (2014); who compared respondents expressing interest in consensual non-monogamy drawn from the general population to those drawn from online communities devoted to discussing positive aspects of non-monogamy. In particular, it was noted that individuals with inclinations toward consensual non-monogamy in the general population sample were robustly correlated with having an
.
includes a wide variety of materials related to polyamory, along with research data.
from the Kinsey Institute.
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