Pickup artists (PUA), self-identified as dating coaches, the seduction community or the pickup community, is a movement of men (or women) whose goal is
seduction
Seduction has multiple meanings. Platonically, it can mean "to persuade to disobedience or disloyalty", or "to lead astray, usually by persuasion or false promises".
Strategies of seduction include conversation and sexual scripts, paralingual ...
and
sexual success. The community exists through Internet
newsletter
A newsletter is a printed or electronic report containing news concerning the activities of a business or an organization that is sent to its members, customers, employees or other subscribers. Newsletters generally contain one main topic of int ...
s and
blog
A blog (a truncation of "weblog") is a discussion or informational website published on the World Wide Web consisting of discrete, often informal diary-style text entries (posts). Posts are typically displayed in reverse chronological order ...
s, marketing (e.g.
banner ad
A web banner or banner ad is a form of advertising on the World Wide Web delivered by an ad server. This form of online advertising entails embedding an advertisement into a web page. It is intended to attract traffic to a website by linking ...
s, seminars, one-on-one coaching), forums and groups, as well as local clubs, known as "lairs".
The rise of "seduction science", "game", "rizz", or "studied
charisma
Charisma () is a personal quality of presence or charm that compels its subjects.
Scholars in sociology, political science, psychology, and management reserve the term for a type of leadership seen as extraordinary; in these fields, the term "ch ...
" has been attributed to modern forms of
dating
Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. It falls into the categor ...
and social norms between sexes which have developed from a perceived increase in the
equality of women
Women's rights are the rights and entitlements claimed for women and girls worldwide. They formed the basis for the women's rights movement in the 19th century and the feminist movements during the 20th and 21st centuries. In some countries, ...
in western society and changes to traditional
gender role
A gender role, also known as a sex role, is a social role encompassing a range of behaviors and attitudes that are generally considered acceptable, appropriate, or desirable for a person based on that person's sex. Gender roles are usually cent ...
s. Commentators in the media have described "game" as
sexist
Sexism is prejudice or discrimination based on one's sex or gender. Sexism can affect anyone, but it primarily affects women and girls.There is a clear and broad consensus among academic scholars in multiple fields that sexism refers primaril ...
or
misogynistic
Misogyny () is hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women. It is a form of sexism that is used to keep women at a lower social status than men, thus maintaining the societal roles of patriarchy. Misogyny has been widely practiced fo ...
.
History
Modern pickup artist practice dates at least to 1970, with the publication of ''How to Pick Up Girls!'' by
Eric Weber. However, one self-described "picker-upper of women" preceding Weber was rational emotive psychotherapist
Albert Ellis
Albert Ellis (September 27, 1913 – July 24, 2007) was an American psychologist and psychotherapist who founded rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). He held MA and PhD degrees in clinical psychology from Columbia University, and was certi ...
, who wrote ''The Art of Erotic Seduction'' in 1967 with Roger Conway. It is a how-to guide for men that encourages them to meet women through the "pickup".
In 1991,
Ross Jeffries
Paul Jeffrey Ross, known by the pseudonym Ross Jeffries, is an American author and pick-up artist.
Neil Strauss, in his 2005 book '' The Game'', describes Jeffries as the "godfather" of the modern pick-up artist community.
Career
In 1988 Jeff ...
taught workshops, promoted a collection of
neuro-linguistic programming
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a pseudoscientific approach to communication, personal development and psychotherapy, that first appeared in Richard Bandler and John Grinder's 1975 book ''The Structure of Magic I''. NLP claims that th ...
(NLP) techniques called "speed seduction" (SS), and published a short book of his techniques, ''How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed''.
Other exponents established themselves in roughly the same era, but lacked contacts with each other. In 1994, Lewis De Payne, then a student of Jeffries, founded the
newsgroup
A Usenet newsgroup is a repository usually within the Usenet system, for messages posted from users in different locations using the Internet. They are discussion groups and are not devoted to publishing news. Newsgroups are technically distinct ...
alt
Alt or ALT may refer to:
Abbreviations for words
* Alt account, an alternative online identity also known as a sock puppet account
* Alternate character, in online gaming
* Alternate route, type of highway designation
* Alternating group, mathema ...
.seduction.fast (ASF).
This then spawned a network of other Internet discussion forums, email lists, blogs, and sites where seduction techniques could be exchanged.
In the late 1990s, Clifford Lee began his ''Cliff's List Seduction Letter'' as a central independent voice of the community.
Other pickup teachers emerged with competing methods, and became known within this community as "seduction gurus" or "gurus".
The community was brought to greater mainstream awareness with the 1999 drama film ''
Magnolia
''Magnolia'' is a large genus of about 210 to 340The number of species in the genus ''Magnolia'' depends on the taxonomic view that one takes up. Recent molecular and morphological research shows that former genera ''Talauma'', ''Dugandiodendro ...
'', in which
Tom Cruise
Thomas Cruise Mapother IV (born July 3, 1962), known professionally as Tom Cruise, is an American actor and producer. One of the world's highest-paid actors, he has received various accolades, including an Honorary Palme d'Or and three Gol ...
portrayed a charismatic yet embittered and emotionally-troubled pickup guru who was loosely modeled on
Ross Jeffries
Paul Jeffrey Ross, known by the pseudonym Ross Jeffries, is an American author and pick-up artist.
Neil Strauss, in his 2005 book '' The Game'', describes Jeffries as the "godfather" of the modern pick-up artist community.
Career
In 1988 Jeff ...
.
In 2005, journalist
Neil Strauss
Neil Darrow Strauss, also known by the pen names Style and Chris Powles, is an American author, journalist and ghostwriter. He is best known for his book '' The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists'', in which he describes his ...
published ''
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists'', an exposé of the PUA community. ''The Game'' reached the
New York Times Bestseller List
''The New York Times'' Best Seller list is widely considered the preeminent list of best-selling books in the United States. John Bear, ''The #1 New York Times Best Seller: intriguing facts about the 484 books that have been #1 New York Times ...
, and made pickup techniques known to a wider audience. The community was further publicized with the television show ''
The Pick Up Artist'' (2007–2008) on
VH1.
Within the community, ''seduction lairs'' are underground meeting groups for men devoted to the study of obtaining sex taught in the seduction community. Lairs first began as study groups soon after
Ross Jeffries
Paul Jeffrey Ross, known by the pseudonym Ross Jeffries, is an American author and pick-up artist.
Neil Strauss, in his 2005 book '' The Game'', describes Jeffries as the "godfather" of the modern pick-up artist community.
Career
In 1988 Jeff ...
released his first products and began teaching sometime in the early 1990s.
A "lair" typically involves two elements: an online forum and group meetings.
Concepts
Many pickup artists work on their "game" by improving their understanding of psychology, their confidence and self-esteem ─ collectively termed "inner game" ─ and their social skills and physical appearance (physical fitness, fashion sense, grooming) ─ collectively termed the "outer game". Many members of the community believe that one's "game" is refined through regular practice,
with the idea that the abilities needed to interact in this way with women can be improved.
Pickup artists have a set of
acronym
An acronym is a word or name formed from the initial components of a longer name or phrase. Acronyms are usually formed from the initial letters of words, as in ''NATO'' (''North Atlantic Treaty Organization''), but sometimes use syllables, as ...
s and
jargon
Jargon is the specialized terminology associated with a particular field or area of activity. Jargon is normally employed in a particular Context (language use), communicative context and may not be well understood outside that context. The conte ...
for describing male–female dynamics and social interaction.
For example, "average frustrated chump" (AFC) is a term coined by
Ross Jeffries
Paul Jeffrey Ross, known by the pseudonym Ross Jeffries, is an American author and pick-up artist.
Neil Strauss, in his 2005 book '' The Game'', describes Jeffries as the "godfather" of the modern pick-up artist community.
Career
In 1988 Jeff ...
to describe males who are typically clueless and incompetent with women.
Theory
The original Jeffries' version of pickup is based on
neuro-linguistic programming
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a pseudoscientific approach to communication, personal development and psychotherapy, that first appeared in Richard Bandler and John Grinder's 1975 book ''The Structure of Magic I''. NLP claims that th ...
(NLP), a theory that claims existence of a connection between neurological processes, language and behavioural patterns learned through experience. This version of pickup supposes that one can model a person to obtain their skills. But, according to scientific consensus, NLP is a
pseudoscience
Pseudoscience consists of statements, beliefs, or practices that claim to be both scientific and factual but are incompatible with the scientific method. Pseudoscience is often characterized by contradictory, exaggerated or falsifiability, unfa ...
and its methods have no evidenciary base.
[Viren Swam]
Attraction Explained: The science of how we form relationships
// Routledge (2016)
Jeffries proposes to imitate seduction experts to obtain their skills and attract women's attention, and founds his claims on NLP. More modern pickup gurus gave up his strongest claims, while still using basic elements of NLP.
The pickup community has a special terminology, which allows to distinguish the initiated. Pickup terms are borrowed from the everyday English vocabulary or from special areas like business terminology, thus are quite transparent for novices.
[Daria Dayter, Sofia Rüdige]
In other words: ‘The language of attraction’ used by pick-up artists
// English Today, Volume 35, Issue 2June 2019 , pp. 13-19
Pickup terminology is mostly based on the following kinds of terminology:
* Military terminology: for example, a woman one seduces is called a ''target'';
* Sports terminology: for example, a process of seduction is called a ''game'';
* Business terminology: for example, there are seduction strategies of ''raising own value'' and ''lowering her value''.
The borrowing of the terminology corresponds to the process called framing, which means re-contextualization of a situation within the perspective of another situation, like sports training. In the process of framing the terms from several different domains are used. It can be considered as a metaphorical translation from one situation to another. The framing is also used to reduce tension of the need to succeed, because in the training, there is no problem in failure.
Pickup artist
A pickup artist (commonly abbreviated PUA) is a person who practices finding multiple sexual partners. Such a person purportedly abides by a certain system deemed effective by that community in his attempts to seduce partners.
The use of ''pickup'' in this context,
slang
Slang is vocabulary (words, phrases, and linguistic usages) of an informal register, common in spoken conversation but avoided in formal writing. It also sometimes refers to the language generally exclusive to the members of particular in-gro ...
for making a casual acquaintance with a stranger in anticipation of sexual relations, was popularized by the 1970 book ''How to Pick Up Girls'' by Eric Weber, and by ''Pick-Up Times'', a short-lived 1970s magazine, and the 1987 semi-autobiographical romantic comedy ''
The Pick-up Artist'', written and directed by
James Toback
James Toback (; born November 23, 1944) is an American film director and screenwriter. His screenplay for '' Bugsy'' won the 1991 Los Angeles Film Critics Association award for best screenplay of the year and was nominated for both the Academy Aw ...
. More recent works of pickup artist culture include
Neil Strauss
Neil Darrow Strauss, also known by the pen names Style and Chris Powles, is an American author, journalist and ghostwriter. He is best known for his book '' The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists'', in which he describes his ...
's book, ''
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists'', and the 2007
VH1 reality television
Reality television is a genre of television programming that documents purportedly unscripted real-life situations, often starring unfamiliar people rather than professional actors. Reality television emerged as a distinct genre in the early 19 ...
series, ''
The Pickup Artist'', starring the pickup artist
Mystery
Mystery, The Mystery, Mysteries or The Mysteries may refer to:
Arts, entertainment, and media Fictional characters
*Mystery, a cat character in ''Emily the Strange''
Films
* ''Mystery'' (2012 film), a 2012 Chinese drama film
* ''Mystery'' ( ...
. The former pickup artist
Roosh V
Daryush Valizadeh (born June 14, 1979), also known as Roosh Valizadeh, Roosh V and Roosh Vorek, is an alt-right American blogger and former pickup artist. Valizadeh writes on his personal blog and also owns the ''Return of Kings'' website, Roosh ...
, who has since recanted his past and
converted to
Oriental Orthodox Christianity
The Oriental Orthodox Churches are Eastern Christian churches adhering to Miaphysite Christology, with approximately 60 million members worldwide. The Oriental Orthodox Churches are part of the Nicene Christian tradition, and represent o ...
, previously had self-published 14 books describing techniques for seducing women.
[Jule Banville]
"Blogger Stud Living in Dad’s Basement, Writing Second Book on How to Get Laid"
"Washington City Paper", 2008 According to ''
Salon
Salon may refer to:
Common meanings
* Beauty salon, a venue for cosmetic treatments
* French term for a drawing room, an architectural space in a home
* Salon (gathering), a meeting for learning or enjoyment
Arts and entertainment
* Salon (P ...
'', such books are the "cash cow" of the pickup industry.
The term pickup artist is also associated with a male
heterosexual
Heterosexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior between people of the opposite sex or gender. As a sexual orientation, heterosexuality is "an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions" to ...
subculture
A subculture is a group of people within a culture that differentiates itself from the parent culture to which it belongs, often maintaining some of its founding principles. Subcultures develop their own norms and values regarding cultural, poli ...
which strives to improve sexual success with women. Routines and gambits are developed to stimulate purported "attraction switches", sometimes combined with mental-conditioning techniques such as
neuro-linguistic programming
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a pseudoscientific approach to communication, personal development and psychotherapy, that first appeared in Richard Bandler and John Grinder's 1975 book ''The Structure of Magic I''. NLP claims that th ...
. Members aim to improve their seductive capabilities through the development of various lifestyles. The culture surrounding pickup has spawned an entire industry servicing those who want to improve their social and seduction skills with consultations and in-field training.
Pickup artists receive mixed to negative responses from the press and general public, with many regarding both the practice and theory as immoral, sexist and ineffective. In 2014, following widely supported public petitions, U.S.-based PUA speaker and instructor
Julien Blanc was denied entry to both the United Kingdom and Australia after he published YouTube videos explaining and demonstrating behaviors such as grabbing women by the throat, and forcing their heads towards his crotch.
Pickup artists have also been parodied, as in the March 2011 ''
The Scott Mills Show
''Scott Mills'' was a British Sony Radio Academy Award, award-winning radio show broadcast on BBC Radio 1 from 2004 to 2022. It was hosted by Scott Mills, with contributions from Chris Stark. Other contributors have included Mark Chapman (broa ...
''.
BBC Radio 1
BBC Radio 1 is a British national radio station owned and operated by the BBC. It specialises in modern popular music and current chart hits throughout the day. The station provides alternative genres at night, including electronica, dance, ...
debated
Neil Strauss
Neil Darrow Strauss, also known by the pen names Style and Chris Powles, is an American author, journalist and ghostwriter. He is best known for his book '' The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists'', in which he describes his ...
' ''
The Game'' on many shows.
Psychologist Petra Boynton has stated that there is "no evidence of effectiveness" for any claims of pickup artists. Research by Nathan Oesch of the
University of Oxford
, mottoeng = The Lord is my light
, established =
, endowment = £6.1 billion (including colleges) (2019)
, budget = £2.145 billion (2019–20)
, chancellor ...
Department of Experimental Psychology, however, confirmed attraction and seduction principles, as described in Strauss' books on the subject, do have a factual basis in social, physiological and evolutionary psychology.
[Oesch, Nathan, "", '']Evolutionary Psychology
Evolutionary psychology is a theoretical approach in psychology that examines cognition and behavior from a modern evolutionary perspective. It seeks to identify human psychological adaptations with regards to the ancestral problems they evolv ...
'', 2012. 10(5): 899-909
Practices
There are a variety of PUA "schools of thought" that promote numerous different methods. These range from approaches that are very indirect, and stress starting with casual conversation before building into a flirt, to methods in which attraction is communicated very openly and directly. Most PUAs acknowledge the distinction between so-called "inner game" and "outer game", where the former relates to techniques directed towards increasing one's self-confidence and mindset, whilst the latter are about actual interaction with real people. Inner game may involve taking greater care in one's looks and presentation, identifying and neutralising self-defeating mental habits (also known as "limiting beliefs"), and developing mental routines to build confidence. Outer game involves actual interaction with individuals and groups of people, from body language to conversation. The pick-up artist may frequent a self-help group and converse with MRA's (men's rights activists),
incel
An incel ( , an abbreviation of "involuntary celibate") is a member of an Internet culture, online subculture of people who define themselves as unable to get a Romantic partner, romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one. Discussions in ...
s (involuntary celibates), and other PUA's to discuss techniques.
In ''
The Game'',
Neil Strauss
Neil Darrow Strauss, also known by the pen names Style and Chris Powles, is an American author, journalist and ghostwriter. He is best known for his book '' The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists'', in which he describes his ...
documents various practices among pickup artists. Members of the community believe in achieving success with women through putatively scientific and
empirical
Empirical evidence for a proposition is evidence, i.e. what supports or counters this proposition, that is constituted by or accessible to sense experience or experimental procedure. Empirical evidence is of central importance to the sciences and ...
means, rather than by relying on good looks or instinct, or by following societal courtship conventions. The practice of going out with the purpose of meeting women is known as "sarging", a term coined by
Ross Jeffries
Paul Jeffrey Ross, known by the pseudonym Ross Jeffries, is an American author and pick-up artist.
Neil Strauss, in his 2005 book '' The Game'', describes Jeffries as the "godfather" of the modern pick-up artist community.
Career
In 1988 Jeff ...
, after his cat "Sarge". A pickup artist can "sarge" alone, or with a
wingman
A wingman (or wingmate) is a pilot or UAV who supports another pilot in a potentially dangerous flying environment. ''Wingman'' was originally the plane flying beside and slightly behind the lead plane in an aircraft formation.
According to th ...
.
Jeffries employed
neuro-linguistic programming
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a pseudoscientific approach to communication, personal development and psychotherapy, that first appeared in Richard Bandler and John Grinder's 1975 book ''The Structure of Magic I''. NLP claims that th ...
techniques for the purposes of sexual conquest, although Strauss claims in ''The Game'' that NLP was quickly rendered obsolete by the rise of techniques based on social dynamics, particularly
Erik von Markovik's "Mystery Method". The Mystery Method describes seduction as a linear process involving three stages (establishing attraction, building comfort, and seduction) each of which involves a variety of techniques.
[Erik von Markovik, "The Mystery Method: How to get beautiful women into bed", St Martin's Press, 2007]
"
Negging
Negging (derived from the verb ''neg'', meaning "negative feedback") is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person to undermine their confidence and i ...
", one of von Markovik's most famous and controversial techniques, has been described as the practice of giving a woman a backhanded compliment such as "nice nails – are they real?", to weaken her confidence and therefore render her more vulnerable to seduction, or that depriving a woman of obsequious validation and attention will influence her to seek it from the man who negs her. Strauss refers to negs as "disqualifiers" in his book ''
Rules of the Game
''The Rules of the Game'' (original French title: ''La règle du jeu'') is a 1939 French Satire, satirical comedy-drama film directed by Jean Renoir. The ensemble cast includes Nora Gregor, Paulette Dubost, Mila Parély, Marcel Dalio, Julien ...
'', emphasizing that the primary purpose of using a neg is not to put a woman down, but for a man to disqualify himself as a potential suitor, thereby allowing for interaction to start on less loaded terms.
Conor Friedersdorf
Conor Renier Friedersdorf is an American journalist and a staff writer at ''The Atlantic'', known for his civil libertarian perspectives.
Early life and career
He attended Pomona College as an undergraduate, and attended the journalism school at ...
lambasted the use of negging by pick-up artists, but admitted that, based on his observations, negging did appear to be effective at generating attraction from some women.
"Pawning" is trading or discarding an unwanted woman as proof of the PUA's own social value, and "going caveman" is escalating physical contact while reducing verbal contact.
One constellation of PUA techniques, called "Last Minute Resistance" tactics (LMR tactics), is designed to convince a woman to have sex after she has indicated that she doesn't want to. This includes tactics from those which are mutually beneficial – such as being okay with the woman being on her period – to "callous manipulation" and rape.
Approaching and opening
Pickup artists generally assume the mindset that men should lead and initiate contacts and plans in general in order to be more attractive, and that women will not generally initiate contact although they want men to, requiring men to begin any interaction by approaching them, but many have also cultivated a sensitivity to direct and indirect signals of
possible sexual interest.
Pickup artists often practice approaching and opening repetitively; some have done thousands of approaches. Strauss describes a pickup artist who did 125 approaches in one day.
[Strauss, p. 298]
The "Mystery Method"
encourages approaching groups of strangers, starting indirect conversations, and giving attention to all members of the group without initiating conversation with the "target" until attraction has been established.
Criticism
Having a notorious reputation outside the community, the PUA movement has been described as sexist, misogynistic
and pseudoscientific.
Roosh V
Daryush Valizadeh (born June 14, 1979), also known as Roosh Valizadeh, Roosh V and Roosh Vorek, is an alt-right American blogger and former pickup artist. Valizadeh writes on his personal blog and also owns the ''Return of Kings'' website, Roosh ...
has been called hateful and a misogynist for his views on women and sex by the
Southern Poverty Law Center
The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) is an American 501(c)(3) nonprofit legal advocacy organization specializing in civil rights and public interest litigation. Based in Montgomery, Alabama, it is known for its legal cases against white su ...
,
and accused of rape advocacy and multiple instances of rape depicted in his books.
Feminist
BDSM
BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged ...
writer and activist Clarisse Thorn, author of ''Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser: Long Interviews with Hideous Men'', criticizes the PUA community as frequently "absurd and sexist", "pushy and problematic" and encouraging adversarial gender roles. However, she also argues that PUA tactics are worth understanding because they are not unique to the PUA community, but instead represent society-wide beliefs and patterns and strategies of human sexual behaviour.
Other dating coaches, such as Sebastian Harris, publicly speak against the misogynistic tendencies of pickup artists. The
UCLA Center for the Study of Women argues that PUA culture is misogynistic, and exists on a continuum of sexist behaviours and attitudes that includes rape and murder.
Media coverage
Pickup artists have received increased media attention,
since the publication of Strauss's article on the community in ''
The New York Times
''The New York Times'' (''the Times'', ''NYT'', or the Gray Lady) is a daily newspaper based in New York City with a worldwide readership reported in 2020 to comprise a declining 840,000 paid print subscribers, and a growing 6 million paid ...
'',
and his memoir ''The Game''. Response has been varied; it has been called
misogynistic
Misogyny () is hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women. It is a form of sexism that is used to keep women at a lower social status than men, thus maintaining the societal roles of patriarchy. Misogyny has been widely practiced fo ...
, and a review of ''The Game'' in the ''
San Francisco Chronicle
The ''San Francisco Chronicle'' is a newspaper serving primarily the San Francisco Bay Area of Northern California. It was founded in 1865 as ''The Daily Dramatic Chronicle'' by teenage brothers Charles de Young and M. H. de Young, Michael H. de ...
'' characterized the community as "a puerile cult of sexual conquest", and calls its tactics "sinister" and "pathetic".
According to the review, "if women in the book are sometimes treated as a commodity, they come out looking better than the men, who can be downright loathsome—and show themselves eventually to be pretty sad, dysfunctional characters".
Feminists
Feminism is a range of socio-political movements and ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. Feminism incorporates the position that society prioritizes the male poi ...
tend to be critical of pickup artists.
Beatrix Campbell
Mary Lorimer Beatrix Campbell, OBE (''née'' Barnes; born 3 February 1947) is an English writer and activist who has written for a number of publications since the early 1970s. Her books include ''Wigan Pier Revisited'' (1984), ''Goliath: Brit ...
has stated that ''The Game'' "sexually objectifies women", arguing that "Nowhere from its description do you get a sense of men being helped to be human in an easy and agreeable way...it's not about having any rapport or relationship... the only thing that will help them in relationships is
empathy
Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position. Definitions of empathy encompass a broad range of social, co ...
and liking women."
According to an article in ''
Eye Weekly
''Eye Weekly'' was a free weekly newspaper published in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It was owned by Torstar, the parent company of the ''Toronto Star'', and was published by their Star Media Group until its final issue on May 5, 2011. The following ...
'', some feminists believe that pickup "isn't just cheesy; it's offensive". The article cites a proposal put forward by a feministblogs.org writer as an alternative to the formula used by expert PUAs: "Shake my hand.
ay'Hi, my name is ...' Treat me like a human being. Avoid seeing women as conquests and men as competition."
An article in the ''
Houston Press
The ''Houston Press'' is an online newspaper published in Houston, Texas, United States. It is headquartered in the Midtown area. It was also a weekly print newspaper until November 2017.
The publication is supported entirely by advertising ...
'' claimed that pickup artist activity "isn't the lechfest it might sound like". The article quotes the webmaster of confidentup.com defending the community: "It's no more
deceptive
Deception or falsehood is an act or statement that misleads, hides the truth, or promotes a belief, concept, or idea that is not true. It is often done for personal gain or advantage. Deception can involve dissimulation, propaganda and sleight o ...
than
push-up bra
There are a great many brassiere designs that are suitable for a wide variety of business and social settings and suitable to wear with a variety of outer clothing. The bra's shape, coverage, functionality, fit, fashion, fabric, and colour can ...
s or
heels
The heel is the prominence at the posterior end of the foot. It is based on the projection of one bone, the calcaneus or heel bone, behind the articulation of the bones of the lower leg.
Structure
To distribute the compressive forces exert ...
or going to the gym to work out...This isn't just a game of words and seduction, it's an overall life improvement." Strauss says, "I really think all of these routines and manipulations are just a way for a guy to get his foot in the door so that if a woman connects with him, she can still choose him," and that pickup techniques "can be used for good or evil!"
He argues that "women are incredibly intuitive—the creepy guys with bad intentions don't do nearly as well as the guys who love and respect women".
Several writers describe observing pickup artists first-hand. Some women recount experiences with men they believed to be pickup artists who tried to "pick them up", and some men recount trying out pickup techniques. Catherine Townsend, writing for ''
The Independent
''The Independent'' is a British online newspaper. It was established in 1986 as a national morning printed paper. Nicknamed the ''Indy'', it began as a broadsheet and changed to tabloid format in 2003. The last printed edition was publis ...
'', describes a negative experience with a man she believed was a pickup artist and used a lot of "negs" on her: "The problem is that some guys clearly don't know when to quit."
An article in ''
San Francisco Magazine
''San Francisco'' is an American monthly magazine devoted to the people, culture, food, politics, and arts of the San Francisco Bay Area. It is published monthly by Modern Luxury publications.
History
There have been two separate ''San Francis ...
'' recounts the experience of the blogger "Dolly", who is the author of the popular sex blog ''The Truth about Cocks and Dolls'', with pickup artists. According to the article, Dolly was:
After spending three days immersed in a Mystery Method Corp (now Love Systems) seminar,
Gene Weingarten
Gene Norman Weingarten (born October 2, 1951) is an American journalist, and former syndicated humor columnist for ''The Washington Post.'' He is the only two-time winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Feature Writing. Weingarten is known for both ...
expressed his uneasiness about "a step by step tutorial for men in how to pick up women, make them comfortable in your presence, and bed them, ideally within seven hours of your first meeting" and wondered aloud, "Is there something inherently wrong with the notion of sexual conquest as a classroom-taught skill, complete with a long hierarchy of 'lines' that work, seemingly spontaneous topics of conversation that are anything but spontaneous, tricks for seeming 'vulnerable', and tips on how to behave so as to deliver subtle but effective nonverbal inducements to intimacy?"
For an article for the ''Times Online'',
Hugo Rifkind
Hugo James Rifkind (born 30 March 1977) is a British journalist. A columnist for ''The Times'' since 2005, he began presenting a Saturday morning programme on Times Radio in July 2020. He has been a regular guest on ''The News Quiz'', on BBC Rad ...
participated in a seminar by Neil Strauss. Rifkind describes initially struggling with pickup techniques, eventually learning to attract women's interest, and then feeling guilty. Rifkind writes, "After a little more practice, my 'game' is improving dramatically. I can open with fluency, and there's an injection of confidence which comes from knowing exactly what you are going to say next." When he attracts a woman's attention, "she is—quite honestly—looking at me like I'm the most fascinating person she's ever met. As a human being and, perhaps more crucially, as somebody with a girlfriend, I feel like absolute scum."
Commercialization
The media attention and rapid increase in pickup artists has led to commercialization and competition. Gurus sell workshops, books,
e-books
An ebook (short for electronic book), also known as an e-book or eBook, is a book publication made available in digital form, consisting of text, images, or both, readable on the flat-panel display of computers or other electronic devices. Alt ...
,
DVDs
The DVD (common abbreviation for Digital Video Disc or Digital Versatile Disc) is a digital optical disc data storage format. It was invented and developed in 1995 and first released on November 1, 1996, in Japan. The medium can store any kin ...
, CDs and online video courses and video-call mentoring over the Internet. In ''
The Game'', Strauss describes the competition between gurus. In The Journal, teaching of these methods is shown by way of 50+ examples.
Academic research
An academic paper on the community, published in 2012 by Eric C. Hendriks in the journal ''
Cultural Analysis
As a discipline, cultural analysis is based on using qualitative research methods of the arts, humanities, social sciences, in particular ethnography and anthropology, to collect data on cultural phenomena and to interpret cultural representatio ...
'', details the value system guiding successful pickup artists based on an international study including participant observation of bootcamp and "lair" meetings in Germany. The article argues that the values of successful practitioners of the "Venusian arts" are informed by an intertwining of "hedonistic goals and diffused forms of
innerworldly asceticism". According to Hendricks, the hedonistic goal of sexual satisfaction interacts in a complex fashion with a set of "disciplinarian and ascetic values", and the author stresses that these disciplinarian and ascetic values are central to the value system of performant practitioners, even though the marketing of gurus often promises an easy, effortless "quick fix".
Nathan Oesch from the
University of Oxford
, mottoeng = The Lord is my light
, established =
, endowment = £6.1 billion (including colleges) (2019)
, budget = £2.145 billion (2019–20)
, chancellor ...
Department of Experimental Psychology claims to have confirmed attraction and pickup principles, as described in Strauss' books on the subject, do have a factual basis in social, physiological and
evolutionary psychology
Evolutionary psychology is a theoretical approach in psychology that examines cognition and behavior from a modern evolutionary perspective. It seeks to identify human psychological adaptations with regards to the ancestral problems they evolv ...
.
Andrew King's cultural history of the pickup artist in the journal ''Sexuality & Culture'' argues that, as a genre, the growth of PUA philosophy parallels the rise of feminism in academic and popular culture—and in some ways can be seen as a critique of its limitations, particularly the idea of gender egalitarianism.
Notable members
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Julien Blanc
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Ross Jeffries
Paul Jeffrey Ross, known by the pseudonym Ross Jeffries, is an American author and pick-up artist.
Neil Strauss, in his 2005 book '' The Game'', describes Jeffries as the "godfather" of the modern pick-up artist community.
Career
In 1988 Jeff ...
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Neil Strauss
Neil Darrow Strauss, also known by the pen names Style and Chris Powles, is an American author, journalist and ghostwriter. He is best known for his book '' The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists'', in which he describes his ...
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Erik von Markovik
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Roosh V
Daryush Valizadeh (born June 14, 1979), also known as Roosh Valizadeh, Roosh V and Roosh Vorek, is an alt-right American blogger and former pickup artist. Valizadeh writes on his personal blog and also owns the ''Return of Kings'' website, Roosh ...
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Eric Weber
See also
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Affiliative conflict theory Affiliative conflict theory (ACT) is a social psychological approach that encompasses interpersonal communication and has a background in nonverbal communication. This theory postulates that "people have competing needs or desires for intimacy and ...
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Don Juanism
Don Juanism or Don Juan syndrome is a non-clinical term for the desire, in a man, to have sex with many different female partners.
The name derives from the Don Juan of opera and fiction. The term satyriasis is sometimes used as a synonym for Don J ...
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Hookup culture
Hookup culture is one that accepts and encourages casual sex encounters, including one-night stands and other related activity, without necessarily including emotional intimacy, bonding or a committed relationship. It is generally associated with ...
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Libertine
A libertine is a person devoid of most moral principles, a sense of responsibility, or sexual restraints, which they see as unnecessary or undesirable, and is especially someone who ignores or even spurns accepted morals and forms of behaviour ob ...
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Masculism
Masculism or masculinism may variously refer to ideologies and socio-political movements that seek to eliminate sexism against men, equalize their rights with women, and increase adherence to or promotion of attributes regarded as typical of men ...
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Manosphere
The manosphere is a collection of websites, blogs, and online forums promoting masculinity, misogyny, and opposition to feminism. Communities within the manosphere include men's rights activists, incels (involuntary celibates), Men Going Their Ow ...
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One-night stand
A one-night stand or one-night sex is a single sexual encounter in which there is an expectation that there shall be no further relations between the sexual participants. It draws its name from the common practice of a one-night stand, a single ...
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Pick-up line
A pick-up line or chat-up line is a conversation opener with the intent of engaging a person for romance or dating. As overt and sometimes humorous displays of romantic interest, pick-up lines advertise the wit of their speakers to their target ...
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Playboy lifestyle
''Playboy'' is an American men's lifestyle and entertainment magazine, formerly in print and currently online. It was founded in Chicago in 1953, by Hugh Hefner and his associates, and funded in part by a $1,000 loan from Hefner's mother.
K ...
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Promiscuity
Promiscuity is the practice of engaging in sexual activity frequently with different Sexual partner, partners or being indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners. The term can carry a moral judgment. A common example of behavior viewed as pro ...
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Rake (stock character)
In a historical context, a rake (short for rakehell, analogous to "hellraiser") was a man who was habituated to immoral conduct, particularly womanizing. Often, a rake was also prodigal, wasting his (usually inherited) fortune on gambling, w ...
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Sexual addiction
According to proponents of the concept, sexual addiction, also known as sex addiction, is a state characterized by compulsive participation or engagement in sexual activity, particularly sexual intercourse, despite negative consequences. The con ...
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Sexual capital
Sexual capital or erotic capital is the social Power (social and political), power an individual capital, individual or social group, group accrues as a result of their sexual attractiveness and social charm. It enables social mobility independent ...
Notable books
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*O'Neill, Rachel (2018). Seduction: Men, Masculinity and Mediated Intimacy.
Wiley .
References
{{Notable Members of The Seduction Community
Personal development
Sexology
Human communication
Misogyny