''Never Too Young to Die'' is a 1986 American

action film Action film is a film genre in which the protagonist is thrust into a series of events that typically involve violence and physical feats. The genre tends to feature a mostly resourceful hero struggling against incredible odds, which include life ...

directed by Gil Bettman. It stars

John Stamos John Phillip Stamos ( ; born August 19, 1963) is an American actor and musician. He first gained recognition for his contract role as Blackie Parrish on the ABC television soap opera ''General Hospital'', for which he was nominated for the Da ...

as Lance Stargrove, a young man who, with the help of secret agent Danja Deering (played by singer

Vanity Vanity is the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others. Prior to the 14th century it did not have such narcissistic undertones, and merely meant ''futility''. The related term vainglory is now often seen as an archaic s ...

, also known as Denise Matthews) must avenge the death of his secret-agent father (

George Lazenby George Robert Lazenby (; born 5 September 1939) is an Australian actor. He was the second actor to portray fictional British secret agent James Bond in the Eon Productions film series, playing the character in ''On Her Majesty's Secret Service' ...

) at the hands of evil

hermaphrodite In reproductive biology, a hermaphrodite () is an organism that has both kinds of reproductive organs and can produce both gametes associated with male and female sexes. Many Taxonomy (biology), taxonomic groups of animals (mostly invertebrate ...

Velvet Von Ragnar (

Gene Simmons Gene Simmons (born Chaim Witz; he, חיים ויץ, ; born August 25, 1949) is an Israeli-American musician. Also known by his stage persona The Demon, he is the bassist and co-lead singer of Kiss, the hard rock band he co-founded with Paul ...

Plot

Cast

as Lance Stargrove *

as Danja Deering *

as Carruthers, Velvet Von Ragnar *

Robert Englund Robert Barton Englund (born June 6, 1947) is an American actor and director. He is best known for playing the supernatural serial killer Freddy Krueger in the ''A Nightmare on Elm Street (franchise), Nightmare on Elm Street'' film series. Class ...

as Riley *

as Drew Stargrove * Peter Kwong as Cliff * Ed Brock as Pyramid *

John Anderson John Anderson may refer to: Business *John Anderson (Scottish businessman) (1747–1820), Scottish merchant and founder of Fermoy, Ireland * John Byers Anderson (1817–1897), American educator, military officer and railroad executive, mentor of ...

as Arliss * Randy Hall as Minkie *

Branscombe Richmond Branscombe Richmond is an American character actor and stuntman. He is known for his starring role of Bobby Sixkiller on the American syndicated drama series, ''Renegade'' (1992–1997), and for his starring roles on the television series, ''Haw ...

as Minkie's Partner

Reception

Brian Salisbury of

Film School Rejects Film School Rejects is an American blog devoted to movie reviews, interviews, film industry news, and feature commentary. It was founded by Neil Miller in February 2006. The site was nominated for Best News Blog by ''Total Film'' magazine and na ...

called Stamos's performance "quite flat and dull. He seems as if he rolled out of bed and directly onto set without having read a single page of the script." He criticized the film's depiction of the

punk subculture The punk subculture includes a diverse and widely known array of ideologies, fashion, and other forms of expression, visual art, dance, literature, and film. Largely characterised by anti-establishment views, the promotion of individual freedom ...

as inaccurate, but called it "the kind of film that could only exist in the 80s", and noted "Gene Simmons' insane-but-somehow-captivating-in-a-way-that-will-cost-my-therapist-thousands-of-hours-of-his-life performance". Rob Dean of ''

The A.V. Club ''The A.V. Club'' is an American online newspaper and entertainment website featuring reviews, interviews, and other articles that examine films, music, television, books, games, and other elements of pop-culture media. ''The A.V. Club'' was cre ...

'' called the film "an incredible schlockfest in plot, characterization, and pretty much every other component of filmmaking", and wrote that "it has certainly left an indelible mark on many hearts of those who love cheesy action flicks." In a retrospective assessment of the film, Stamos has stated: "It's the perfect midnight-movie, where people can come and dress up. It's — what's the term I'm looking for? — the best worst thing you will ever see".

References

External links

* * * * 1980s action drama films 1980s adventure films Films with screenplays by Lorenzo Semple Jr. Films scored by Lennie Niehaus American action adventure films 1986 drama films 1986 films 1980s English-language films 1980s American films {{action-adventure-film-stub