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Mourning is the expression of an experience that is the consequence of an event in life involving loss, causing
grief Grief is the response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or some living thing that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, grief also has physical, cogniti ...
, occurring as a result of someone's
death Death is the irreversible cessation of all biological functions that sustain an organism. For organisms with a brain, death can also be defined as the irreversible cessation of functioning of the whole brain, including brainstem, and brain ...
, specifically someone who was loved although loss from death is not exclusively the cause of all experience of grief. The word is used to describe a complex of behaviours in which the bereaved participate or are expected to participate, the expression of which varies by culture. Wearing
black Black is a color which results from the absence or complete absorption of visible light. It is an achromatic color, without hue, like white and grey. It is often used symbolically or figuratively to represent darkness. Black and white ha ...
clothes is one practice followed in many countries, though other forms of dress are seen. Those most affected by the loss of a loved one often observe a period of mourning, marked by withdrawal from
social event A party is a gathering of people who have been invited by a host for the purposes of socializing, conversation, recreation, or as part of a festival or other commemoration or celebration of a special occasion. A party will often feature ...
s and quiet, respectful behavior. People may follow religious traditions for such occasions. Mourning may apply to the death of, or anniversary of the death of, an important individual such as a local
leader Leadership, both as a research area and as a practical skill, encompasses the ability of an individual, group or organization to "lead", influence or guide other individuals, teams, or entire organizations. The word "leadership" often gets v ...
,
monarch A monarch is a head of stateWebster's II New College DictionarMonarch Houghton Mifflin. Boston. 2001. p. 707. Life tenure, for life or until abdication, and therefore the head of state of a monarchy. A monarch may exercise the highest authority ...
, religious figure, or member of family. State mourning may occur on such an occasion. In recent years, some traditions have given way to less strict practices, though many customs and traditions continue to be followed.


Stages of grief

Mourning is a personal and collective response which can vary depending on feelings and contexts.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (July 8, 1926 – August 24, 2004) was a Swiss-American psychiatrist, a pioneer in near-death studies, and author of the internationally best-selling book, ''On Death and Dying'' (1969), where she first discussed her theo ...
's theory of grief describes five separate periods of experience in the psychological and emotional processing of loss. These stages do not necessarily follow each other, and each period is not inevitable. # : This short phase of mourning occurs when a person first discovers the loss, and refuses to believe it. This is a more or less intense period where emotions seem virtually absent. The affected person can faint and may even vomit without being conscious. After this short stage of mourning, the reality of loss sets in. # : This phase is characterized by a sense of outrage due to the loss, accompanied by guilt in some cases. # : This phase sees a person engage in internal bargaining and negotiation. # : The depression phase can be the longest phase of the mourning process, characterized by great sadness, questioning, and distress. Mourners in this phase sometimes feel that they will never complete their mourning. They have experienced a wide range of emotions and their sorrow is great. # : The last stage of mourning, where the bereaved gets better. The reality of the loss is much more understood and accepted. The bereaved can still feel sadness, but has regained full functioning and has also reorganized life adjusting to the loss. Grief can be defined as the period following the death of someone close. This is both psychological and social: * : When someone close to a person dies, the person enters a period of sorrow and questioning, or even nervous breakdown. There are three stages in the grieving process, encompassing the denial, depression and acceptance phases of Kübler-Ross' five step model. * : The feelings and mental state of the mourner affect their ability to maintain or enter into relationships with others, including professional, personal and sexual relationships. After the customs of burying or cremating the deceased, many cultures follow a number of socially-prescribed traditions that may affect the clothing a person wears and how long before, or even if, the mourner can remarry. These traditions are generally determined by the degree of kinship to and the social importance of the deceased. Death can be a release for the mourner, in the case of the death of an abusive or tyrannical person, or when death terminates the long, painful illness of a loved one. However, this release may add remorse and guilt for the mourner.


Social customs and dress


Africa


Ethiopia

In
Ethiopia Ethiopia, , om, Itiyoophiyaa, so, Itoobiya, ti, ኢትዮጵያ, Ítiyop'iya, aa, Itiyoppiya officially the Federal Democratic Republic of Ethiopia, is a landlocked country in the Horn of Africa. It shares borders with Eritrea to the ...
, an (variants and in the
Oromo language Oromo ( or ; Oromo: ''Afaan Oromoo''), in the linguistic literature of the early 20th century also called Galla (a name with a pejorative meaning and therefore rejected by the Oromo people), is an Afroasiatic language that belongs to the Cushiti ...
) is a traditional community organization whose members assist each other during the mourning process. Members make monthly financial contributions forming the 's fund. They are entitled to receive a certain sum of money from this fund to help cover funeral and other expenses associated with deaths. Additionally, members comfort the mourners: female members take turns doing housework, such as preparing food for the mourning family, while male members usually take the responsibility to arrange the funeral and erect a temporary tent to shelter guests who come to visit the mourning family. members are required to stay with the mourning family and comfort them for three full days.


Asia


East Asia

White is the traditional color of mourning in
Chinese culture Chinese culture () is one of the world's oldest cultures, originating thousands of years ago. The culture prevails across a large geographical region in East Asia and is extremely diverse and varying, with customs and traditions varying grea ...
, with white clothes and hats formerly having been associated with death. In
imperial China The earliest known written records of the history of China date from as early as 1250 BC, from the Shang dynasty (c. 1600–1046 BC), during the reign of king Wu Ding. Ancient historical texts such as the '' Book of Documents'' (early chapt ...
,
Confucian Confucianism, also known as Ruism or Ru classicism, is a system of thought and behavior originating in ancient China. Variously described as tradition, a philosophy, a religion, a humanistic or rationalistic religion, a way of governing, or ...
mourning obligations required even the
emperor An emperor (from la, imperator, via fro, empereor) is a monarch, and usually the sovereign ruler of an empire or another type of imperial realm. Empress, the female equivalent, may indicate an emperor's wife ( empress consort), mother ( ...
to retire from public affairs upon the death of a parent. The traditional period of mourning was nominally 3 years, but usually 25–27
lunar month In lunar calendars, a lunar month is the time between two successive syzygies of the same type: new moons or full moons. The precise definition varies, especially for the beginning of the month. Variations In Shona, Middle Eastern, and Eur ...
s in practice, and even shorter in the case of necessary officers; the emperor, for example, typically remained in seclusion for just 27 days. The Japanese term for mourning dress is , referring to either primarily black Western-style formal wear or to black
kimono The is a traditional Japanese garment and the national dress of Japan. The kimono is a wrapped-front garment with square sleeves and a rectangular body, and is worn left side wrapped over right, unless the wearer is deceased. The kimono ...
and
traditional clothing A folk costume (also regional costume, national costume, traditional garment, or traditional regalia) expresses an identity through costume, which is usually associated with a geographic area or a period of time in history. It can also indicat ...
worn at
funerals A funeral is a ceremony connected with the final disposition of a corpse, such as a burial or cremation, with the attendant observances. Funerary customs comprise the complex of beliefs and practices used by a culture to remember and respect th ...
and
Buddhist Buddhism ( , ), also known as Buddha Dharma and Dharmavinaya (), is an Indian religion or philosophical tradition based on teachings attributed to the Buddha. It originated in northern India as a -movement in the 5th century BCE, and ...
memorial services. Other colors, particularly reds and bright shades, are considered inappropriate for mourning dress. If wearing Western clothes, women may wear a single strand of white
pearl A pearl is a hard, glistening object produced within the soft tissue (specifically the mantle) of a living shelled mollusk or another animal, such as fossil conulariids. Just like the shell of a mollusk, a pearl is composed of calcium carb ...
s. Japanese-style mourning dress for women consists of a five- crested plain black silk kimono, a black and black
accessories Accessory may refer to: * Accessory (legal term), a person who assists a criminal In anatomy * Accessory bone * Accessory muscle * Accessory nucleus, in anatomy, a cranial nerve nucleus * Accessory nerve In arts and entertainment * Accessory ...
worn over white undergarments, black and white . Men's mourning dress consists of clothing worn on extremely formal occasions: a plain black silk five-crested kimono and black and white, or gray and white, striped trousers over white undergarments, a black crested jacket with a white closure, white or black and white . It is customary for Japanese-style mourning dress to be worn only by the immediate family and very close friends of the deceased; other attendees wear Western-style mourning dress or subdued Western or Japanese formal clothes. In
Thailand Thailand ( ), historically known as Siam () and officially the Kingdom of Thailand, is a country in Southeast Asia, located at the centre of the Indochinese Peninsula, spanning , with a population of almost 70 million. The country is b ...
, people wear black when attending a funeral. Black is considered the mourning color, although historically it was white. Widows may wear purple when mourning the death of their spouse. Filipino practices for mourning bear influence from Chinese, Japanese, and folk
Catholic The Catholic Church, also known as the Roman Catholic Church, is the largest Christian church, with 1.3 billion baptized Catholics worldwide . It is among the world's oldest and largest international institutions, and has played a ...
beliefs. The immediate family traditionally wear black, with white as a popular alternative. Other mourners may wear subdued colours when paying respects, with the color red universally considered taboo within 9–40 days of a death. It is believed that those who wear red, which is reserved for happier occasions, will die or suffer illness. Those who wear uniforms are allowed to wear a black armband, as are male mourners in . The bereaved, should they wear other clothes, wear a small scrap of black ribbon or a black plastic pin on the left breast, which is disposed of after mourning. The consumption of chicken during the wake and funeral is believed to bring death to the bereaved, who are forbidden from seeing mourners off. Counting nine days from moment of death, a
novena A novena (from Latin: ''novem'', "nine") is an ancient tradition of devotional praying in Christianity, consisting of private or public prayers repeated for nine successive days or weeks. The nine days between the Feast of the Ascension and Pe ...
of Masses or other prayers, a ritual known as the (from the word for "nine"), is performed; the actual funeral and burial may take place within this period or after, depending on circumstance. The spirit of the dead is believed to roam the earth until the 40th day after death, when it is said to cross into the afterlife, echoing the 40 days between Christ's
Resurrection Resurrection or anastasis is the concept of coming back to life after death. In a number of religions, a dying-and-rising god is a deity which dies and is resurrected. Reincarnation is a similar process hypothesized by other religions, whic ...
and Ascension into Heaven. The immediate family on this day hold a Mass and small feast, and again on the first anniversary of the death, known as the , which is the commonly accepted endpoint of official mourning.


West Asia

In the
Assyrian Assyrian may refer to: * Assyrian people, the indigenous ethnic group of Mesopotamia. * Assyria, a major Mesopotamian kingdom and empire. ** Early Assyrian Period ** Old Assyrian Period ** Middle Assyrian Empire ** Neo-Assyrian Empire * Assyri ...
tradition, just after a person passes away, the mourning family host guests in an open house style. Only bitter coffee and tea are served, showcasing the sorrowful state of the family. On the funeral day, a memorial mass is held in the church. At the graveyard, the people gather and burn
incense Incense is aromatic biotic material that releases fragrant smoke when burnt. The term is used for either the material or the aroma. Incense is used for aesthetic reasons, religious worship, aromatherapy, meditation, and ceremony. It may also b ...
around the grave as
clergy Clergy are formal leaders within established religions. Their roles and functions vary in different religious traditions, but usually involve presiding over specific rituals and teaching their religion's doctrines and practices. Some of the ter ...
chant
hymn A hymn is a type of song, and partially synonymous with devotional song, specifically written for the purpose of adoration or prayer, and typically addressed to a deity or deities, or to a prominent figure or personification. The word ''hymn ...
s in the
Syriac language The Syriac language (; syc, / '), also known as Syriac Aramaic (''Syrian Aramaic'', ''Syro-Aramaic'') and Classical Syriac ܠܫܢܐ ܥܬܝܩܐ (in its literary and liturgical form), is an Aramaic language, Aramaic dialect that emerged during ...
. The closest female relatives traditionally bewail or
lament A lament or lamentation is a passionate expression of grief, often in music, poetry, or song form. The grief is most often born of regret, or mourning. Laments can also be expressed in a verbal manner in which participants lament about somet ...
in a public display of grief as the casket descends. A few others may sing a
dirge A dirge ( la, dirige, naenia) is a somber song or lament expressing mourning or grief, such as would be appropriate for performance at a funeral. Often taking the form of a brief hymn, dirges are typically shorter and less meditative than elegi ...
or a sentimental threnody. During all these occasions, everyone is expected to dress completely in black. Following the burial, everyone returns to the church hall for afternoon lunch and
eulogy A eulogy (from , ''eulogia'', Classical Greek, ''eu'' for "well" or "true", ''logia'' for "words" or "text", together for "praise") is a speech or writing in praise of a person or persons, especially one who recently died or retired, or as ...
. At the hall, the closest relatives sit on a long table facing the guests as many people walk by and offer their condolences. On the third day, mourners customarily visit the grave site with a
pastor A pastor (abbreviated as "Pr" or "Ptr" , or "Ps" ) is the leader of a Christian congregation who also gives advice and counsel to people from the community or congregation. In Lutheranism, Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy, Oriental Orthodoxy and ...
to burn incense, symbolising
Jesus Jesus, likely from he, יֵשׁוּעַ, translit=Yēšūaʿ, label= Hebrew/ Aramaic ( AD 30 or 33), also referred to as Jesus Christ or Jesus of Nazareth (among other names and titles), was a first-century Jewish preacher and relig ...
' triumph over death on the third day. This is also done 40 days after the funeral (representing Jesus ascending to heaven), and one year later to conclude the mourning period. Mourners wear only black until the 40 day mark and typically do not dance or celebrate any major events for one year.


Europe


Continental Europe

The custom of wearing unadorned black clothing for mourning dates back at least to the
Roman Empire The Roman Empire ( la, Imperium Romanum ; grc-gre, Βασιλεία τῶν Ῥωμαίων, Basileía tôn Rhōmaíōn) was the post-Roman Republic, Republican period of ancient Rome. As a polity, it included large territorial holdings aro ...
, when the , made of dark-colored
wool Wool is the textile fibre obtained from sheep and other mammals, especially goats, rabbits, and camelids. The term may also refer to inorganic materials, such as mineral wool and glass wool, that have properties similar to animal wool. ...
, was worn during mourning. Through the
Middle Ages In the history of Europe, the Middle Ages or medieval period lasted approximately from the late 5th to the late 15th centuries, similar to the post-classical period of global history. It began with the fall of the Western Roman Empire ...
and
Renaissance The Renaissance ( , ) , from , with the same meanings. is a period in European history marking the transition from the Middle Ages to modernity and covering the 15th and 16th centuries, characterized by an effort to revive and surpass ide ...
, distinctive mourning was worn for general as well as personal loss; after the St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre of
Huguenot The Huguenots ( , also , ) were a religious group of French Protestants who held to the Reformed, or Calvinist, tradition of Protestantism. The term, which may be derived from the name of a Swiss political leader, the Genevan burgomaster Be ...
s in
France France (), officially the French Republic ( ), is a country primarily located in Western Europe. It also comprises of Overseas France, overseas regions and territories in the Americas and the Atlantic Ocean, Atlantic, Pacific Ocean, Pac ...
,
Elizabeth I of England Elizabeth I (7 September 153324 March 1603) was Queen of England and Ireland from 17 November 1558 until her death in 1603. Elizabeth was the last of the five House of Tudor monarchs and is sometimes referred to as the "Virgin Queen". Eli ...
and her court are said to have dressed in full mourning to receive the French Ambassador. Widows and other women in mourning wore distinctive black
caps Caps are flat headgear. Caps or CAPS may also refer to: Science and technology Computing * CESG Assisted Products Service, provided by the U.K. Government Communications Headquarters * Composite Application Platform Suite, by Java Caps, a Ja ...
and veils, generally in a conservative version of any current fashion. In areas of
Russia Russia (, , ), or the Russian Federation, is a transcontinental country spanning Eastern Europe and Northern Asia. It is the largest country in the world, with its internationally recognised territory covering , and encompassing one-ei ...
, the
Czech Republic The Czech Republic, or simply Czechia, is a landlocked country in Central Europe. Historically known as Bohemia, it is bordered by Austria to the south, Germany to the west, Poland to the northeast, and Slovakia to the southeast. The ...
,
Slovakia Slovakia (; sk, Slovensko ), officially the Slovak Republic ( sk, Slovenská republika, links=no ), is a landlocked country in Central Europe. It is bordered by Poland to the north, Ukraine to the east, Hungary to the south, Austria to the ...
,
Greece Greece,, or , romanized: ', officially the Hellenic Republic, is a country in Southeast Europe. It is situated on the southern tip of the Balkans, and is located at the crossroads of Europe, Asia, and Africa. Greece shares land borders wi ...
, Albania,
Mexico Mexico (Spanish language, Spanish: México), officially the United Mexican States, is a List of sovereign states, country in the southern portion of North America. It is borders of Mexico, bordered to the north by the United States; to the so ...
,
Portugal Portugal, officially the Portuguese Republic ( pt, República Portuguesa, links=yes ), is a country whose mainland is located on the Iberian Peninsula of Southwestern Europe, and whose territory also includes the Atlantic archipelagos of th ...
, and
Spain , image_flag = Bandera de España.svg , image_coat = Escudo de España (mazonado).svg , national_motto = '' Plus ultra'' (Latin)(English: "Further Beyond") , national_anthem = (English: "Royal March") , ...
, widows wear black for the rest of their lives. The immediate family members of the deceased wear black for an extended time. Since the 1870s, mourning practices for some cultures, even those who have emigrated to the United States, are to wear black for at least two years, though lifelong black for widows remains in some parts of
Europe Europe is a large peninsula conventionally considered a continent in its own right because of its great physical size and the weight of its history and traditions. Europe is also considered a Continent#Subcontinents, subcontinent of Eurasia ...
. In
Belgium Belgium, ; french: Belgique ; german: Belgien officially the Kingdom of Belgium, is a country in Northwestern Europe. The country is bordered by the Netherlands to the north, Germany to the east, Luxembourg to the southeast, France to ...
, the Court went in public mourning after publication in the Moniteur Belge. In 1924, the court went in mourning after the death of
Marie-Adélaïde, Grand Duchess of Luxembourg Marie-Adélaïde (Marie-Adélaïde Thérèse Hilda Wilhelmine; 14 June 1894 – 24 January 1924), reigned as Grand Duchess of Luxembourg from 1912 until her abdication in 1919. She was the first Grand Duchess regnant of Luxembourg (after five gra ...
, for 10 days, the duke of Montpensier for five days, and a full month for the death of Princess Louise of Belgium.


White mourning

The color of deepest mourning among
medieval In the history of Europe, the Middle Ages or medieval period lasted approximately from the late 5th to the late 15th centuries, similar to the post-classical period of global history. It began with the fall of the Western Roman Empire a ...
European queens was white. In 1393, Parisians were treated to the unusual spectacle of a royal funeral carried out in white, for
Leo V, King of Armenia Leo V or Levon V (occasionally Levon VI; hy, Լևոն, ''Levon V''; 1342 – 29 November 1393), of the House of Lusignan, was the last Latin king of the Armenian Kingdom of Cilicia. He ruled from 1374 to 1375. Leo was described as "Leo V, King ...
, who died in exile. This royal tradition survived in Spain until the end of the 15th century. In 1934, Queen
Wilhelmina of the Netherlands Wilhelmina (; Wilhelmina Helena Pauline Maria; 31 August 1880 – 28 November 1962) was Queen of the Netherlands from 1890 until her abdication in 1948. She reigned for nearly 58 years, longer than any other Dutch monarch. Her reign saw World Wa ...
reintroduced white mourning after the death of her husband
Prince Henry Prince Henry (or Prince Harry) may refer to: People *Henry the Young King (1155–1183), son of Henry II of England, who was crowned king but predeceased his father *Prince Henry the Navigator of Portugal (1394–1460) *Henry, Duke of Cornwall (Ja ...
. It has since remained a tradition in the Dutch royal family. In 2004, the four daughters of Queen
Juliana of the Netherlands Juliana (; Juliana Louise Emma Marie Wilhelmina; 30 April 1909 – 20 March 2004) was Queen of the Netherlands from 1948 until her abdication in 1980. Juliana was the only child of Queen Wilhelmina and Prince Henry of Mecklenburg-Schwerin. ...
all wore white to their mother's funeral. In 1993, the Spanish-born
Queen Fabiola Queen or QUEEN may refer to: Monarchy * Queen regnant, a female monarch of a Kingdom ** List of queens regnant * Queen consort, the wife of a reigning king * Queen dowager, the widow of a king * Queen mother, a queen dowager who is the mo ...
introduced it in Belgium for the funeral of her husband, King
Baudouin of Belgium Baudouin (;, ; nl, Boudewijn Albert Karel Leopold Axel Maria Gustaaf, ; german: Balduin Albrecht Karl Leopold Axel Maria Gustav. 7 September 1930 – 31 July 1993), Dutch name Boudewijn, was King of the Belgians from 17 July 1951 until his de ...
. The custom for the Queens of France to wear ("white mourning") was the origin of the White Wardrobe created in 1938 by
Norman Hartnell Sir Norman Bishop Hartnell, KCVO (12 June 1901 – 8 June 1979) was a leading British fashion designer, best known for his work for the ladies of the royal family. Hartnell gained the Royal Warrant as Dressmaker to Queen Elizabeth in 1940, and ...
for
Queen Elizabeth Queen Elizabeth, Queen Elisabeth or Elizabeth the Queen may refer to: Queens regnant * Elizabeth I (1533–1603; ), Queen of England and Ireland * Elizabeth II (1926–2022; ), Queen of the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth realms * Queen ...
(later known as the Queen Mother). She was required to make a State visit to France while in mourning for her mother.


United Kingdom

Today, no special dress or behaviour is obligatory for those in mourning in the general population of the
United Kingdom The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, commonly known as the United Kingdom (UK) or Britain, is a country in Europe, off the north-western coast of the continental mainland. It comprises England, Scotland, Wales and ...
, although ethnic groups and religious faiths have specific rituals, and black is typically worn at funerals. Traditionally, however, strict social rules were observed.


=Georgian and Victorian eras

= By the 19th century, mourning behaviour in
England England is a country that is part of the United Kingdom. It shares land borders with Wales to its west and Scotland to its north. The Irish Sea lies northwest and the Celtic Sea to the southwest. It is separated from continental Europe ...
had developed into a complex set of rules, particularly among the upper classes. For women, the customs involved wearing heavy, concealing
black Black is a color which results from the absence or complete absorption of visible light. It is an achromatic color, without hue, like white and grey. It is often used symbolically or figuratively to represent darkness. Black and white ha ...
clothing, and the use of heavy
veil A veil is an article of clothing or hanging cloth that is intended to cover some part of the head or face, or an object of some significance. Veiling has a long history in European, Asian, and African societies. The practice has been prominent ...
s of black
crêpe A crêpe or crepe ( or , , Quebec French: ) is a very thin type of pancake. Crêpes are usually one of two varieties: ''sweet crêpes'' () or ''savoury galettes'' (). They are often served with a wide variety of fillings such as cheese, ...
. The entire ensemble was colloquially known as "widow's weeds" (from the
Old English Old English (, ), or Anglo-Saxon, is the earliest recorded form of the English language, spoken in England and southern and eastern Scotland in the early Middle Ages. It was brought to Great Britain by Anglo-Saxon settlers in the mid-5th ...
, meaning "garment"), and would either be newly created clothing, or overdyed clothing the mourner already owned. Up until the later 18th century, the clothes of the deceased, unless they were considerably poor, were still listed in the inventories of the dead, as clothing constituted a relatively high expense. Special
caps Caps are flat headgear. Caps or CAPS may also refer to: Science and technology Computing * CESG Assisted Products Service, provided by the U.K. Government Communications Headquarters * Composite Application Platform Suite, by Java Caps, a Ja ...
and bonnets, usually in black or other dark colours, were worn with these ensembles; mourning
jewellery Jewellery ( UK) or jewelry ( U.S.) consists of decorative items worn for personal adornment, such as brooches, rings, necklaces, earrings, pendants, bracelets, and cufflinks. Jewellery may be attached to the body or the clothes. From a w ...
, often made of jet, was also worn, and became highly popular in the
Victorian era In the history of the United Kingdom and the British Empire, the Victorian era was the period of Queen Victoria's reign, from 20 June 1837 until her death on 22 January 1901. The era followed the Georgian period and preceded the Edwa ...
. Jewellery was also occasionally made from the hair of the deceased. The wealthy would wear cameos or
locket A locket is a pendant that opens to reveal a space used for storing a photograph or other small item such as a lock of hair. Lockets are usually given to loved ones on holidays such as Valentine's Day and occasions such as christenings, wedding ...
s designed to hold a lock of the deceased's hair or some similar
relic In religion, a relic is an object or article of religious significance from the past. It usually consists of the physical remains of a saint or the personal effects of the saint or venerated person preserved for purposes of veneration as a tangi ...
. Widows were expected to wear special clothes to indicate that they were in mourning for up to four years after the death, although a widow could choose to wear such attire for the rest of her life. To change one's clothing earlier than this was considered disrespectful to the deceased, and, if the widow was still young and attractive, suggestive of potential sexual promiscuity. Those subject to the rules were slowly allowed to re-introduce conventional clothing at specific times; such stages were known by such terms as "full mourning", "half mourning", and similar descriptions. For half mourning, muted colours such as
lilac ''Syringa'' is a genus of 12 currently recognized species of flowering woody plants in the olive family or Oleaceae called lilacs. These lilacs are native to woodland and scrub from southeastern Europe to eastern Asia, and widely and commonl ...
,
grey Grey (more common in British English) or gray (more common in American English) is an intermediate color between black and white. It is a neutral or achromatic color, meaning literally that it is "without color", because it can be compos ...
and
lavender ''Lavandula'' (common name lavender) is a genus of 47 known species of flowering plants in the mint family, Lamiaceae. It is native to the Old World and is found in Cape Verde and the Canary Islands, and from Europe across to northern and easte ...
could be introduced. Friends, acquaintances, and employees wore mourning to a greater or lesser degree depending on their relationship to the deceased. Mourning was worn for six months after the death of a sibling. Parents would wear mourning for a child for "as long as they
elt ELT may refer to: Education * English language teaching * Expanded learning time, an American education strategy * Kolb's experiential learning theory Mathematics and science * Ending lamination theorem * Extremely large telescope, a type of ...
so disposed". A widow was supposed to wear mourning for two years, and was not supposed to enter society for 12 months. No lady or gentleman in mourning was supposed to attend social events while in deep mourning. In general,
servants A domestic worker or domestic servant is a person who works within the scope of a residence. The term "domestic service" applies to the equivalent occupational category. In traditional English contexts, such a person was said to be "in service ...
wore
black armband In Western culture, a black armband signifies that the wearer is in mourning or wishes to identify with the commemoration of a family friend, comrade or team member who has died. This use is particularly common in the first meeting following the l ...
s when there had been a death in the household. However, amongst polite company, the wearing of a simple black armband was seen as appropriate only for military men, or others compelled to wear uniform in the course of their duties—a black armband instead of proper mourning clothes was seen as a degradation of proper etiquette, and to be avoided. In general, men were expected to wear mourning suits (not to be confused with morning suits) of black
frock coat A frock coat is a formal men's coat characterised by a knee-length skirt cut all around the base just above the knee, popular during the Victorian and Edwardian periods (1830s–1910s). It is a fitted, long-sleeved coat with a centre vent at th ...
s with matching
trousers Trousers (British English), slacks, or pants are an item of clothing worn from the waist to anywhere between the knees and the ankles, covering both legs separately (rather than with cloth extending across both legs as in robes, skirts, and ...
and
waistcoat A waistcoat ( UK and Commonwealth, or ; colloquially called a weskit), or vest ( US and Canada), is a sleeveless upper-body garment. It is usually worn over a dress shirt and necktie and below a coat as a part of most men's formal wear. ...
s. In the later
interbellum In the history of the 20th century, the interwar period lasted from 11 November 1918 to 1 September 1939 (20 years, 9 months, 21 days), the end of the First World War to the beginning of the Second World War. The interwar period was relative ...
period between
World War I World War I (28 July 1914 11 November 1918), often abbreviated as WWI, was List of wars and anthropogenic disasters by death toll, one of the deadliest global conflicts in history. Belligerents included much of Europe, the Russian Empire, ...
and
World War II World War II or the Second World War, often abbreviated as WWII or WW2, was a world war that lasted from 1939 to 1945. It involved the World War II by country, vast majority of the world's countries—including all of the great power ...
, as the frock coat became increasingly rare, the mourning suit consisted of a black morning coat with black trousers and waistcoat, essentially a black version of the morning suit worn to weddings and other occasions, which would normally include coloured waistcoats and striped or checked trousers. Formal mourning culminated during the reign of
Queen Victoria Victoria (Alexandrina Victoria; 24 May 1819 – 22 January 1901) was Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland from 20 June 1837 until her death in 1901. Her reign of 63 years and 216 days was longer than that of any previ ...
, whose long and conspicuous grief over the death of her husband, Prince Albert, heavily influenced society. Although fashion began to be more functional and less restrictive for the succeeding
Edwardian era The Edwardian era or Edwardian period of British history spanned the reign of King Edward VII, 1901 to 1910 and is sometimes extended to the start of the First World War. The death of Queen Victoria in January 1901 marked the end of the Vic ...
, appropriate dress for men and women—including that for the period of mourning—was still strictly prescribed and rigidly adhered to. In 2014, The Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art mounted an exhibition of women's mourning attire from the 19th century, entitled '' Death Becomes Her: A Century of Mourning Attire''. The customs were not universally supported, with Charles Voysey writing, "that it adds needlessly to the gloom and dejection of really afflicted relatives must be apparent to all who have ever taken part in these miserable rites." The rules were gradually relaxed over time, and it became acceptable practice for both sexes to dress in dark colours for up to a year after a death in the family. By the late 20th century, this no longer applied, and black had been widely adopted by women in cities as a fashionable colour.


North America


United States

Mourning generally followed English forms into the 20th century. Black dress is still considered proper etiquette for attendance at funerals, but extended periods of wearing black dress are no longer expected. However, attendance at social functions such as weddings when a family is in deep mourning is frowned upon. Men who share their father's given name and use a suffix such as "Junior" retain the suffix at least until the father's funeral is complete. In the
antebellum South In the history of the Southern United States, the Antebellum Period (from la, ante bellum, lit= before the war) spanned the end of the War of 1812 to the start of the American Civil War in 1861. The Antebellum South was characterized by ...
, with social mores that imitated those of England, mourning was just as strictly observed by the upper classes. In the 19th century, mourning could be quite expensive, as it required a whole new set of clothes and accessories or, at the very least, overdyeing existing garments and taking them out of daily use. For a poorer family, this was a strain on resources. At the end of ''
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz ''The Wonderful Wizard of Oz'' is a children's novel written by author L. Frank Baum and illustrated by W. W. Denslow. It is the first novel in the Oz series of books. A Kansas farm girl named Dorothy ends up in the magical Land of Oz afte ...
'', Dorothy explains to
Glinda Glinda is a fictional character created by L. Frank Baum for his ''Oz'' novels. She first appears in Baum's 1900 children's classic ''The Wonderful Wizard of Oz'', and is the most powerful sorceress in the Land of Oz, ruler of the Quadling Coun ...
that she must return home because her aunt and uncle cannot afford to go into mourning for her because it was too expensive. A late 20th and early 21st century North American mourning phenomenon is the rear window memorial decal. This is a large vinyl window-cling decal memorializing a deceased loved one, prominently displayed in the rear windows of cars and trucks belonging to close family members and sometimes friends. It often contains birth and death dates, although some contain sentimental phrases or designs as well.


The Pacific


Tonga

In
Tonga Tonga (, ; ), officially the Kingdom of Tonga ( to, Puleʻanga Fakatuʻi ʻo Tonga), is a Polynesian country and archipelago. The country has 171 islands – of which 45 are inhabited. Its total surface area is about , scattered over in ...
, family members of deceased persons wear black for an extended time, with large plain Taʻovala. Often, black bunting is hung from homes and buildings. In the case of the death of royalty, the entire country adopts mourning dress and black and purple bunting is displayed from most buildings.


State and official mourning

States usually declare a period of 'official mourning' after the death of a
head of state A head of state (or chief of state) is the public persona who officially embodies a state Foakes, pp. 110–11 " he head of statebeing an embodiment of the State itself or representatitve of its international persona." in its unity and ...
. in the case of a
monarchy A monarchy is a form of government in which a person, the monarch, is head of state for life or until abdication. The political legitimacy and authority of the monarch may vary from restricted and largely symbolic ( constitutional monar ...
, court mourning refers to mourning during a set period following the death of a public figure or member of a royal family. The protocols for mourning vary, but typically include the lowering or posting
half-mast Half-mast or half-staff (American English) refers to a flag flying below the summit of a ship mast, a pole on land, or a pole on a building. In many countries this is seen as a symbol of respect, mourning, distress, or, in some cases, a salut ...
of flags on public buildings. In contrast, the
Royal Standard of the United Kingdom The Royal Standards of the United Kingdom refers to either one of two similar flags used by King Charles III in his capacity as Sovereign of the United Kingdom, the Crown dependencies, and the British Overseas Territories. Two versions of the ...
is not flown at half-mast upon the death of a head of state, as there is always a monarch on the throne. The degree and duration of public mourning is generally decreed by a protocol officer. It was not unusual for the British court to declare that all citizens should wear full mourning for a specified period after the death of the
monarch A monarch is a head of stateWebster's II New College DictionarMonarch Houghton Mifflin. Boston. 2001. p. 707. Life tenure, for life or until abdication, and therefore the head of state of a monarchy. A monarch may exercise the highest authority ...
or that the members of the court should wear full- or half-mourning for an extended time. On the death of
Queen Victoria Victoria (Alexandrina Victoria; 24 May 1819 – 22 January 1901) was Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland from 20 June 1837 until her death in 1901. Her reign of 63 years and 216 days was longer than that of any previ ...
(22 January 1901), the ''
Canada Gazette The ''Canada Gazette'' (french: Gazette du Canada) is the official government gazette of the Government of Canada. It was first published on October 2, 1841. While it originally published all acts of the Parliament of Canada, it later also publ ...
'' published an "extra" edition announcing that court mourning would continue until 24 January 1902. It directed the public to wear deep mourning until 6 March 1901 and half-mourning until 17 April 1901. As they had done in earlier years for Queen Victoria, her son King
Edward VII Edward VII (Albert Edward; 9 November 1841 – 6 May 1910) was King of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland and Emperor of India, from 22 January 1901 until Death and state funeral of Edward VII, his death in 1910. The second chil ...
, his wife
Queen Alexandra Alexandra of Denmark (Alexandra Caroline Marie Charlotte Louise Julia; 1 December 1844 – 20 November 1925) was Queen of the United Kingdom and the British Dominions, and Empress of India, from 22 January 1901 to 6 May 1910 as the wife of ...
and the
Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother Elizabeth Angela Marguerite Bowes-Lyon (4 August 1900 – 30 March 2002) was Queen of the United Kingdom and the Dominions of the British Commonwealth from 11 December 1936 to 6 February 1952 as the wife of King George VI. She was th ...
, the royal family went into mourning on the death of
Prince Philip Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (born Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark, later Philip Mountbatten; 10 June 1921 – 9 April 2021) was the husband of Queen Elizabeth II. As such, he served as the consort of the British monarch from E ...
in April 2021. The black-and-white costumes designed by Cecil Beaton for the Royal Ascot sequence in ''My Fair Lady (film), My Fair Lady'' were inspired by the "Black Ascot" of 1910, when the court was in mourning for Edward VII. The principle of continuity of the State, however, is also respected in mourning, and is reflected in the French saying ("The king is dead, long live the king!"). Regardless of the formalities of mourning, the power of state is handed on, typically immediately if the succession is uncontested. A short interruption of work in the civil service, however, may result from one or more days of closing the offices, especially on the day of the state funeral. In January 2006, on the death of Jaber Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah, the emir of Kuwait, a mourning period of 40 days was declared. In Tonga, the official mourning lasts for a year; the heir is crowned after this period has passed.


Religions and customs


Confucianism

There are five grades of mourning obligations in the Confucian Code. A person is expected to honor most of those descended from their great-great-grandfather, and most of their wives. The death of a person's father and mother would merit 27 months of mourning; the death of a person's grandfather on the male side, as well as their grandfather's wife, would be grade two, or necessitate 12 months of mourning. A paternal uncle is grade three, at nine months, with grade four is reserved for one's father's first cousin, maternal grandparents, siblings and sister's children (five months). First cousins once removed, second cousins and the parents of a man's wife's are considered grade five (three months).


Buddhism


Christianity


Eastern Christianity

Eastern Orthodox Church, Orthodox Christians usually hold the funeral either the day after death or on the third day, and always during the daytime. In traditional Orthodox communities, the body of the departed would be washed and prepared for burial by family or friends, and then placed in the coffin in the home. A house in mourning would be recognizable by the lid of the coffin, with a cross on it, and often adorned with flowers, set on the porch by the front door. Special prayers are held on the third, seventh or ninth (number varies in different national churches), and 40th Day after death, 40th days after death; the third, sixth and ninth or twelfth month; and annually thereafter in a Pannikhida, memorial service, for up to three generations. Kolyva is ceremoniously used to honor the dead. Sometimes men in mourning will not shave for the 40 days. In Greece and other Orthodox countries, it is not uncommon for widows to remain in mourning dress for the rest of their lives. When an Orthodox bishop dies, a successor is not elected until after the 40 days of mourning are completed, during which period his diocese is said to be "widowed". The 40th day has great significance in Orthodox religion, considered the period during which soul of deceased wanders on earth. On the 40th day, the ascension of the deceased's soul occurs, and is the most important day in mourning period, when special prayers are held on the grave site of deceased. As in the Roman Catholic rites, there can be symbolic mourning. During Holy Week, some temples in the Church of Cyprus draw black curtains across the icons. The services of Good Friday and Holy Saturday morning are patterned in part on the Orthodox Christian burial service, and funeral Epitaphios (liturgy), lamentations.


Western Christianity

The European social forms are, in general, forms of Christian religious expression transferred to the greater community. In the Roman Catholic Church, the Mass of Paul VI, adopted in 1969, allows several options for the liturgical color used in Masses for the Dead. Before the liturgical reform, black was the ordinary color for funeral Masses; in the revised use, several options are available, though black is the norm. According to the General Instruction of the Roman Missal (§346d-e), black vestments is to be worn at Offices and Masses for the dead; an indult was given for several countries to use violet or white vestments, and in some of those nations those colours have largely supplanted the use of black vestments. Christian churches often go into mourning symbolically during the period of Lent to commemorate the sacrifice and death of
Jesus Jesus, likely from he, יֵשׁוּעַ, translit=Yēšūaʿ, label= Hebrew/ Aramaic ( AD 30 or 33), also referred to as Jesus Christ or Jesus of Nazareth (among other names and titles), was a first-century Jewish preacher and relig ...
. Customs vary among the denominations and include the covering or removal of statuary, icons and paintings, and use of special liturgical colors, such as violet/purple, during Lent and Holy Week. In more formal congregations, parishioners also dress according to specific forms during Holy Week, particularly on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, when it is common to wear black or sombre dress or the liturgical color purple. Requiem, Special prayers are held on the third, seventh, and 30th days after
death Death is the irreversible cessation of all biological functions that sustain an organism. For organisms with a brain, death can also be defined as the irreversible cessation of functioning of the whole brain, including brainstem, and brain ...
; Prayers are held on the third day, because
Jesus Jesus, likely from he, יֵשׁוּעַ, translit=Yēšūaʿ, label= Hebrew/ Aramaic ( AD 30 or 33), also referred to as Jesus Christ or Jesus of Nazareth (among other names and titles), was a first-century Jewish preacher and relig ...
Resurrection of Jesus, rose again after three days in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, sepulchre (First Epistle to the Corinthians, 1 Corinthians 15:4). Prayers are held on the seventh day, because Joseph (Genesis), Joseph mourned his Jacob, father Jacob seven days (Genesis 50:10) and in Book of Sirach is written that "seven days the dead are mourned" (Ecclesiasticus 22:13). Prayers are held on the thirtieth day, because Aaron (Book of Numbers, Numbers 20:30) and Moses (Book of Deuteronomy, Deuteronomy 34:8) were mourned thirty days.


Hinduism

Death is not seen as the final "end" in Hinduism, but is seen as a turning point in the seemingly endless journey of the indestructible "Atman (Hinduism), atman", or soul, through innumerable bodies of animals and people. Hence, Hinduism prohibits excessive mourning or lamentation upon death, as this can hinder the passage of the departed soul towards its journey ahead: "As mourners will not help the dead in this world, therefore (the relatives) should not weep, but perform the obsequies to the best of their power." Hindu mourning is described in dharma shastras. It begins immediately after the cremation of the body and ends on the morning of the thirteenth day. Traditionally, the body is cremated within 24 hours after death; however, cremations are not held after sunset or before sunrise. Immediately after the death, an oil lamp is lit near the deceased, and this lamp is kept burning for three days. Hinduism associates death with ritual purification, ritual impurity for the immediate blood family of the deceased, hence during these mourning days, the immediate family must not perform any religious ceremonies (except funerals), must not visit temples or other sacred places, must not serve the sages (holy men), must not give alms, must not read or recite from the sacred scriptures, nor can they attend social functions such as marriages and parties. The family of the deceased is not expected to serve any visiting guests food or drink. It is customary that the visiting guests do not eat or drink in the house where the death has occurred. The family in mourning are required to bathe twice a day, eat a single simple vegetarian meal, and try to cope with their loss. On the day on which the death has occurred, the family do not cook; hence usually close family and friends will provide food for the mourning family. White clothing (the color of purity) is the color of mourning, and many will wear white during the mourning period. The male members of the family do not cut their hair or shave, and the female members of the family do not wash their hair until the 10th day after the death. If the deceased was young and unmarried, the "Narayan Bali" is performed by the Pandits. The Mantras of "Bhairon Paath" are recited. This ritual is performed through the person who has given the Mukhagni (Ritual of giving fire to the dead body). On the morning of the 13th day, a Śrāddha ceremony is performed. The main ceremony involves a fire sacrifice, in which offerings are given to the ancestors and to gods, to ensure the deceased has a peaceful afterlife. Pind Sammelan is performed to ensure the involvement of the departed soul with that of God. Typically after the ceremony, the family cleans and washes all the idols in the family shrine; and flowers, fruits, water and purified food are offered to the gods. Then, the family is ready to break the period of mourning and return to daily life.


Islam

In Shi'a Islam, examples of mourning practices are held annually in the month of Muharram, the first month of Islamic Lunar calendar. This mourning is held in the commemoration of Imam Al Husayn ibn Ali, who was martyred along with his 72 companions by Yazid bin Muawiyah. Shi'a Muslims wear black clothes and take out processions on road to mourn on the tragedy of Karbala. Shi'a Muslims also mourn the death of Fatima (the only daughter of Muhammad) and the Shi'a Imams. Mourning is observed in Islam by increased devotion, receiving visitors and condolences, and avoiding decorative clothing and jewelry. Loved ones and relatives are to observe a three-day mourning period. Widows observe an extended mourning period (Iddah), four months and ten days long, in accordance with the Qur'an 2:234. During this time, she is not to remarry, move from her home, or wear decorative clothing or jewelry. Grief at the death of a beloved person is normal, and weeping for the dead is allowed in Islam. What is prohibited is to express grief by wailing ("bewailing" refers to mourning in a loud voice), shrieking, tearing hair or clothes, breaking things, scratching faces, or uttering phrases that make a Muslim lose faith.


Directives for widows

The Qur'an prohibits widows from engaging themselves for four lunar months and ten days after the death of their husbands. According to Qur'an: Islamic scholars consider this directive a balance between mourning a husband's death and protection of the widow from censure that she became interested in remarrying too soon after her husband's death. This is also to ascertain whether or not she is pregnant.


Judaism

Judaism looks upon mourning as a process by which the stricken can re-enter into society, and so provides a series of customs that make this process gradual. The first stage, observed as all the stages are by immediate relatives (parents, spouse, siblings and children) is the (literally meaning "seven"), which consists of the first seven days after the funeral. The second stage is the (thirty), referring to the thirty days following the death. The period of mourning after the death of a parent lasts one year. Each stage places lighter demands and restrictions than the previous one in order to reintegrate the bereaved into normal life. The most known and central stage is , which is a Jewish mourning practice in which people adjust their behaviour as an expression of their bereavement for the week immediately after the burial. In the West, typically, mirrors are covered and a small tear is made in an item of clothing to indicate a lack of interest in personal vanity. The bereaved dress simply and sit on the floor, short stools or boxes rather than chairs when receiving the condolences of visitors. In some cases relatives or friends take care of the bereaved's house chores, as cooking and cleaning. English speakers use the expression "to sit shiva". During the , the mourners are no longer expected to sit on the floor or be taken care of (cooking/cleaning). However, some customs still apply. There is a prohibition on getting married or attending any sort of celebrations and men refrain from shaving or cutting their hair. Restrictions during the year of mourning include not wearing new clothes, not listening to music and not attending celebrations. In addition, the sons of the deceased recite the Kaddish prayer for the first eleven months of the year during prayer services where there is a quorum of 10 men. The Kaddish prayer is then recited annually on the date of death, usually called the yahrzeit. The date is according to the Hebrew calendar. In addition to saying the Kaddish in the synagogue, a 24-hour memorial candle is lit in the home of the person saying the Kaddish.


See also

* Burial * Cemetery * Cremation * Death wail * Half-mast * Month's Mind * Mourning portraits * Mourning ring * Mourning sickness * Requiem * ''Rudaali'' (Indian film) * Victorian fashion#Mourning black, Victorian fashion * Wake (ceremony) * Widow's cap


References


Citations


Bibliography


''The Canada Gazette''


* Charles Spencer, ''Cecil Beaton: Stage and Film Designs'', London: Academy Editions, 1975. (no ISBN) * Karen Rae Mehaffey, ''The After-Life: Mourning Rituals and the Mid-Victorians'', Lasar Writers Publishing, 1993. (no ISBN) * *


External links


The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning
By Maurice Lamm

a Christian view by Max Heindel {{Authority control Death customs Funerals History of clothing