Mildred Childe Lee (February 10, 1846 – March 27, 1905) was an American society hostess and the youngest child of
Robert E. Lee and
Mary Anna Custis Lee
Mary Anna Randolph Custis Lee (October 1, 1807 – November 5, 1873) was an American writer and the last private owner of Arlington Estate. She was the daughter of George Washington Parke Custis who was the grandson of Martha Dandridge Custis W ...
. She was the last member of the
Lee family to be born at
Arlington Plantation and had a privileged upbringing typical of members of the
planter class
The planter class, known alternatively in the United States as the Southern aristocracy, was a racial and socioeconomic caste of pan-American society that dominated 17th and 18th century agricultural markets. The Atlantic slave trade permitted p ...
, attending boarding schools in
Winchester, Virginia
Winchester is the most north western independent city in the Commonwealth of Virginia. It is the county seat of Frederick County, although the two are separate jurisdictions. The Bureau of Economic Analysis combines the city of Winchester wit ...
and
Raleigh, North Carolina
Raleigh (; ) is the capital city of the state of North Carolina and the List of North Carolina county seats, seat of Wake County, North Carolina, Wake County in the United States. It is the List of municipalities in North Carolina, second-most ...
. A favorite of her father's, she was doted upon and given the nickname "Precious Life", often being referred to by this nickname in family letters. During the
American Civil War
The American Civil War (April 12, 1861 – May 26, 1865; also known by other names) was a civil war in the United States. It was fought between the Union ("the North") and the Confederacy ("the South"), the latter formed by states th ...
, she sewed clothing for soldiers of the
Confederate States Army
The Confederate States Army, also called the Confederate Army or the Southern Army, was the military land force of the Confederate States of America (commonly referred to as the Confederacy) during the American Civil War (1861–1865), fighting ...
and volunteered as a nurse in Confederate hospitals. Lee never married or had children, instead devoting her time to caring for her parents in their later years. After her father's death, she assisted her brother,
George Washington Custis Lee
George Washington Custis Lee (September 16, 1832 – February 18, 1913), also known as Custis Lee, was the eldest son of Robert E. Lee and Mary Anna Custis Lee. His grandfather George Washington Custis was the step-grandson and adopted son of G ...
, as hostess while he served as president of
Washington College
Washington College is a private liberal arts college in Chestertown, Maryland. Maryland granted Washington College its charter in 1782. George Washington supported the founding of the college by consenting to have the "College at Chester" name ...
.
Early life and family
![Arlington House pre-1861](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4b/Arlington_House_pre-1861.jpg)
Mildred Childe Lee was born on February 10, 1846 at
Arlington Plantation to
Robert E. Lee and
Mary Anna Custis Lee
Mary Anna Randolph Custis Lee (October 1, 1807 – November 5, 1873) was an American writer and the last private owner of Arlington Estate. She was the daughter of George Washington Parke Custis who was the grandson of Martha Dandridge Custis W ...
.
She was named after her father's sister, Catherine Mildred Lee Childe.
[ Lee was her parents' fourth daughter and seventh child.] She was the last member of the Lee family to be born at Arlington.[ At the time of her birth, her father was stationed at ]Fort Hamilton
Fort Hamilton is a United States Army installation in the southwestern corner of the New York City borough of Brooklyn, surrounded by the communities of Bay Ridge and Dyker Heights. It is one of several posts that are part of the region which is ...
in New York City
New York, often called New York City or NYC, is the List of United States cities by population, most populous city in the United States. With a 2020 population of 8,804,190 distributed over , New York City is also the L ...
.[
A member of the Lee family, she was a descendant of the colonist ]Richard Lee I
Richard Lee I (1618 – 1 March 1664) (later nicknamed "The Immigrant") was the first member of the Lee family to live in America (although he also considered himself an English gentleman). Poor when he arrived in Virginia in 1639 on a ship w ...
. Her paternal grandparents, Henry Lee III
Henry Lee III (January 29, 1756 – March 25, 1818) was an early American Patriot (American Revolution), Patriot and U.S. politician who served as the ninth Governor of Virginia and as the Virginia United States House of Representatives, Repres ...
and Anne Hill Carter Lee
Anne Hill Carter Lee (March 26, 1773 – June 26, 1829) was the First Lady of Virginia from 1791 to 1794 as the wife of the ninth governor, Henry Lee III. She was the mother of the general-in-chief of the Confederate States of America, Robert E. ...
, were the ninth governor and first lady of Virginia. On her mother's side, Lee was descended from several colonial families, including the Randolph family of Virginia
The Randolph family of Virginia is a prominent political family, whose members contributed to the politics of Colonial Virginia and Virginia after statehood. They are descended from the Randolphs of Morton Morrell, Warwickshire, England. The firs ...
.[ Through her maternal great-grandmother, ]Eleanor Calvert
Eleanor Calvert Custis Stuart (1757/1758 – September 28, 1811), born Eleanor Calvert, was a prominent member of the wealthy Calvert family of Maryland. Upon her marriage to John Parke Custis, she became the daughter-in-law of Martha Dandridg ...
, she descended from Charles Calvert, 5th Baron Baltimore
Charles Calvert, 5th Baron Baltimore, (29 September 1699 – 24 April 1751) was a British nobleman and Proprietary Governor of the Province of Maryland. He inherited the title to Maryland aged just fifteen, on the death of his father and gra ...
, making her a descendant of Charles II of England
Charles II (29 May 1630 – 6 February 1685) was King of Scotland from 1649 until 1651, and King of England, Scotland and Ireland from the 1660 Restoration of the monarchy until his death in 1685.
Charles II was the eldest surviving child of ...
. Through her grandmother, Mary Lee Fitzhugh Custis
Mary Lee "Molly" Fitzhugh Custis (April 22, 1788 – April 23, 1853) was an Episcopal lay leader in Alexandria County (now Arlington County, Virginia, United States). She was the mother of Mary Anna Randolph Custis who was the wife of Robert E. ...
, she was a descendant of William Fitzhugh
William Fitzhugh (August 24, 1741June 6, 1809) was an American planter, legislator and patriot during the American Revolutionary War who served as a delegate to the Continental Congress for Virginia in 1779, as well as many terms in the House o ...
. Her maternal grandfather, George Washington Parke Custis
George Washington Parke Custis (April 30, 1781 – October 10, 1857) was an American plantation owner, antiquarian, author, and playwright. His father John Parke Custis was the stepson of George Washington. He and his sister Eleanor grew u ...
, was George Washington
George Washington (February 22, 1732, 1799) was an American military officer, statesman, and Founding Father who served as the first president of the United States from 1789 to 1797. Appointed by the Continental Congress as commander of th ...
's step-grandson and adopted son and the founder of Arlington House Arlington House may refer to:
*Arlington House, The Robert E. Lee Memorial
*Arlington House (London) a hostel for the homeless in London, England, and one of the Rowton Houses
*Arlington House, Margate, an eighteen-storey residential apartment bloc ...
. Lee was the sister of Robert E. Lee Jr.
Robert Edward "Rob" Lee Jr. (October 27, 1843 – October 19, 1914) was the sixth of seven children of Confederate States Army, Confederate General Robert E. Lee and Mary Anna Custis Lee, Mary Anna Randolph Custis. He became a soldier during th ...
, Mary Custis Lee
Mary Custis Lee (July 12, 1835 — November 22, 1918) was an American heiress and the eldest daughter of Confederate States Army General Robert E. Lee and Mary Anna Custis Lee. Throughout the American Civil War and Reconstruction era, she remai ...
, Anne Carter Lee
Anne Carter Lee (June 18, 1839 – October 20, 1862) was the fourth child and second daughter of General Robert E. Lee and Mary Anna Custis Lee. She grew up at Arlington House on her family's plantation. During the American Civil War, she s ...
, Eleanor Agnes Lee
Eleanor Agnes Lee (February 27, 1841 – October 15, 1873) was an American diarist and poet. The fifth child of General Robert E. Lee and Mary Anna Custis Lee, she was a member of the prominent Lee family of Virginia and was affectionately calle ...
, George Washington Custis Lee
George Washington Custis Lee (September 16, 1832 – February 18, 1913), also known as Custis Lee, was the eldest son of Robert E. Lee and Mary Anna Custis Lee. His grandfather George Washington Custis was the step-grandson and adopted son of G ...
, and William Henry Fitzhugh Lee
William Henry Fitzhugh Lee (May 31, 1837 – October 15, 1891), known as Rooney Lee (often spelled "Roony" among friends and family) or W. H. F. Lee, was the second son of General Robert E. Lee and Mary Anna Custis. He was a planter, a Confed ...
.
A member of the planter class
The planter class, known alternatively in the United States as the Southern aristocracy, was a racial and socioeconomic caste of pan-American society that dominated 17th and 18th century agricultural markets. The Atlantic slave trade permitted p ...
, she had a privileged upbringing typical for American gentry
The American gentry were rich landowning members of the American upper class in the colonial South.
The Colonial American use of ''gentry'' was not common. Historians use it to refer to rich landowners in the South before 1776. Typically la ...
. She and her siblings grew up at Arlington House, the family's plantation that had been inherited by their mother.[ Her childhood at Arlington was a happy one, and she spent days playing in the gardens and orchards.][ She was adored by her father, who nicknamed her "Precious Life".][ Her father once wrote her "Experience will teach you that notwithstanding all appearances to the contrary, you will never receive such a love as is felt for you by your father and mother... Your own feelings will teach you how it should be returned and appreciated."]
When she was three years old, the family moved to Baltimore
Baltimore ( , locally: or ) is the List of municipalities in Maryland, most populous city in the U.S. state of Maryland, fourth most populous city in the Mid-Atlantic (United States), Mid-Atlantic, and List of United States cities by popula ...
, where her father was stationed.[ Her mother described her in a letter to a friend as "a most finished coquette."][ Later, the family moved to ]West Point
The United States Military Academy (USMA), also known Metonymy, metonymically as West Point or simply as Army, is a United States service academies, United States service academy in West Point, New York. It was originally established as a f ...
.[
]
Education and the Civil War
Lee was tutored privately at home before being sent to Mr. and Mrs. Charles L. Powell’s Female Seminary in Winchester, Virginia
Winchester is the most north western independent city in the Commonwealth of Virginia. It is the county seat of Frederick County, although the two are separate jurisdictions. The Bureau of Economic Analysis combines the city of Winchester wit ...
where she studied Latin, French, music, and drawing.[ She was then sent to Saint Mary's School, an Episcopal boarding school for girls in ]Raleigh, North Carolina
Raleigh (; ) is the capital city of the state of North Carolina and the List of North Carolina county seats, seat of Wake County, North Carolina, Wake County in the United States. It is the List of municipalities in North Carolina, second-most ...
. At Saint Mary's, Lee studied Biblical history, music, art, astronomy, Latin, and French.[
When the ]Confederate States of America
The Confederate States of America (CSA), commonly referred to as the Confederate States or the Confederacy was an unrecognized breakaway republic in the Southern United States that existed from February 8, 1861, to May 9, 1865. The Confeder ...
was officially formed, Lee's mother wrote to her at school, saying "With a sad and heavy heart, my dear child, I write, for the prospects before are sad indeed. And as I think both parties are in the wrong in this fractricidal war there is nothing comforting even in the hope that God may prosper the right, for I see no right in this matter. We can only pray that in His mercy He will spare us."[ When the ]Civil War
A civil war or intrastate war is a war between organized groups within the same state (or country).
The aim of one side may be to take control of the country or a region, to achieve independence for a region, or to change government policies ...
broke out later that year, Mildred was sent with her sister, Annie
Annie may refer to:
People and fictional characters
* Annie (given name), a given name and a list of people and fictional characters with the name
* Annie (actress) (born 1975), Indian actress
* Annie (singer) (born 1977), Norwegian singer
The ...
, to meet her mother at White House Plantation
The White House was a late 17th-century plantation on the Pamunkey River near White House in New Kent County, Virginia. There were a total of three White Houses all built on the original pre-1700 foundation. The original White House Mansion was b ...
, a relative's home along the Pamunkey River
The Pamunkey River is a tributary of the York River, about long,U.S. Geological Survey. National Hydrography Dataset high-resolution flowline dataThe National Map accessed April 1, 2011 in eastern Virginia in the United States. Via the York Rive ...
.[ ]Union
Union commonly refers to:
* Trade union, an organization of workers
* Union (set theory), in mathematics, a fundamental operation on sets
Union may also refer to:
Arts and entertainment
Music
* Union (band), an American rock group
** ''Un ...
soldiers arrived at the house and placed her and her family under house arrest.[ In June 1862 her father asked Union General ]George B. McClellan
George Brinton McClellan (December 3, 1826 – October 29, 1885) was an American soldier, Civil War Union general, civil engineer, railroad executive, and politician who served as the 24th governor of New Jersey. A graduate of West Point, McCl ...
to arrange a transfer for the family across Confederate lines so that they could join him in Richmond
Richmond most often refers to:
* Richmond, Virginia, the capital of Virginia, United States
* Richmond, London, a part of London
* Richmond, North Yorkshire, a town in England
* Richmond, British Columbia, a city in Canada
* Richmond, California, ...
.[ While her father and brothers were fighting in the war, Lee and her sisters knitted socks and gloves for Confederate soldiers, and worked as nurses in Confederate hospitals for the wounded.][
]
Later life and death
After the war ended, and Arlington was seized by the United States government, the family moved to Derwent, a cottage on the James River
The James River is a river in the U.S. state of Virginia that begins in the Appalachian Mountains and flows U.S. Geological Survey. National Hydrography Dataset high-resolution flowline dataThe National Map , accessed April 1, 2011 to Chesapea ...
that had been offered to them as a residence.[ It was here that the family began to depend on Lee as a provider of household service, causing her to feel increasingly unhappy and unfulfilled.][ The family later moved to ]Lexington, Virginia
Lexington is an independent city in the Commonwealth of Virginia. At the 2020 census, the population was 7,320. It is the county seat of Rockbridge County, although the two are separate jurisdictions. The Bureau of Economic Analysis combines ...
where her father took up the post of president of Washington College
Washington College is a private liberal arts college in Chestertown, Maryland. Maryland granted Washington College its charter in 1782. George Washington supported the founding of the college by consenting to have the "College at Chester" name ...
.[ She never married, and stayed with her parents as a companion.][ Though much of her time was committed to the household and social responsibilities at the college's president's house, she would go horseback riding with her father in her free time.][ Her father once wrote of her saying, "she is my light-bearer, the house is never dark when she is in it."][ After her parents' death, Lee assisted her unmarried brother, George Washington Custis Lee, as his hostess during his term as president of Washington College.][
In her later years, she travelled abroad to Europe and Africa, attending the ]Golden Jubilee of Queen Victoria
The Golden Jubilee of Queen Victoria was celebrated on 20 and 21 June 1887 to mark the 50th anniversary of Queen Victoria's accession on 20 June 1837. It was celebrated with a Thanksgiving Service at Westminster Abbey, and a banquet to which ...
and climbing the Great Pyramid of Giza
The Great Pyramid of Giza is the biggest Egyptian pyramid and the tomb of Fourth Dynasty pharaoh Khufu. Built in the early 26th century BC during a period of around 27 years, the pyramid is the oldest of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, ...
. She also travelled to Venice
Venice ( ; it, Venezia ; vec, Venesia or ) is a city in northeastern Italy and the capital of the Veneto Regions of Italy, region. It is built on a group of 118 small islands that are separated by canals and linked by over 400 ...
and France.[ She and her sister, Mary, attended the dedications of the Robert E. Lee Monument, Richmond and the Robert E. Lee Monument, New Orleans.
She died from a stroke on March 27, 1905 in .] Her body was taken by train to Lexington, where a delegation of Confederate Veterans and members of the United Daughters of the Confederacy
The United Daughters of the Confederacy (UDC) is an American neo-Confederate hereditary association for female descendants of Confederate Civil War soldiers engaging in the commemoration of these ancestors, the funding of monuments to them, ...
awaited the arrival.[ She was buried in the family crypt at ]University Chapel
University Chapel (formerly Lee Chapel) of Washington and Lee University is a National Historic Landmark in Lexington, Virginia. It was constructed during 1867–68 at the request of Robert E. Lee, who was president of the school (then known as ...
.[ After her death, flags flew at half mast throughout the ]Southern United States
The Southern United States (sometimes Dixie, also referred to as the Southern States, the American South, the Southland, or simply the South) is a geographic and cultural region of the United States of America. It is between the Atlantic Ocean ...
.[
]
References
{{DEFAULTSORT:Lee, Mildred Childe
1846 births
1905 deaths
19th-century American women
20th-century American women
American socialites
American Civil War nurses
American people of English descent
Burials at University Chapel
Episcopalians from Virginia
Female wartime nurses
Mildred
People from Arlington County, Virginia
St. Mary's School (North Carolina) alumni
Washington and Lee University people
Women in the American Civil War