Mercedes Grabowski
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August Ames (born Mercedes Grabowski; 23 August 1994 – 5 December 2017) was a Canadian pornographic actress. She appeared in more than 100 films, including a non-pornographic film in 2016, and was nominated for several
AVN Awards The AVN Awards are film awards sponsored and presented by the American adult video industry trade magazine '' AVN'' (''Adult Video News'') to recognize achievement in various aspects of the creation and marketing of American pornographic fi ...
. In 2017, at the age of 23, Ames died of suicide after a
social media Social media are interactive media technologies that facilitate the creation and sharing of information, ideas, interests, and other forms of expression through virtual communities and networks. While challenges to the definition of ''social medi ...
backlash following a tweet she posted.


Early life

Ames was born Mercedes Grabowski in
Antigonish, Nova Scotia , settlement_type = Town , image_skyline = File:St Ninian's Cathedral Antigonish Spring.jpg , image_caption = St. Ninian's Cathedral , image_flag = Flag of Antigonish.pn ...
, on 23 August 1994. She grew up in
Petawawa Petawawa is a town located in the eastern portion of Southern Ontario. Situated in the Ottawa Valley, with a population of 18,160 (2021 Census), Petawawa is the most populous municipality in Renfrew County. Geography The town lies on the west b ...
,
Ontario Ontario ( ; ) is one of the thirteen provinces and territories of Canada.Ontario is located in the geographic eastern half of Canada, but it has historically and politically been considered to be part of Central Canada. Located in Central Ca ...
, and later lived in
Colorado Springs, Colorado Colorado Springs is a home rule municipality in, and the county seat of, El Paso County, Colorado, United States. It is the largest city in El Paso County, with a population of 478,961 at the 2020 United States Census, a 15.02% increase since ...
. Both her parents were in the army and she spent her early years as a
military brat A military brat (colloquial or military slang) is a child of serving or retired military personnel. Military brats are associated with a unique subcultureDavid C. Pollock, Ruth E. van Reken. ''Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds'', Revise ...
, including a number of years living beside
Canadian Forces Base Petawawa Garrison Petawawa is located in Petawawa, Ontario. It is operated as an army base by the Canadian Army. Garrison facts The Garrison is located in the Ottawa Valley in Renfrew County, northwest of Ottawa along the western bank of the Ottawa ...
. Ames alleged that she was routinely
sexually molested Sexual assault is an act in which one intentionally sexually touches another person without that person's consent, or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will. It is a form of sexual violence, which ...
by her paternal grandfather as a child, but her father refused to believe her and at 12 years old she was sent to live in a group home. In her early years, she worked as a nanny, animal-assisted aide, and
horseback Equestrianism (from Latin , , , 'horseman', 'horse'), commonly known as horse riding (Commonwealth English) or horseback riding (American English), includes the disciplines of riding, driving, and vaulting. This broad description includes the ...
trainer.


Career

Ames's career as a pornographic actress began at the age of 19, in November 2013. She has over 100
IMDb IMDb (an abbreviation of Internet Movie Database) is an online database of information related to films, television series, home videos, video games, and streaming content online – including cast, production crew and personal biographies, ...
credits including productions by companies such as Brazzers,
Elegant Angel Elegant Angel Productions is a pornographic film studio located in Canoga Park, California and owned by Patrick Collins. The company is considered one of the early pioneers of gonzo pornography, and its films have won numerous awards. History El ...
, Evil Angel,
Girlfriends Films Girlfriends Films (or GFF) is an American pornographic film studio based in Valencia, California and founded in 2002. The studio was founded by Dan O'Connell and "Moose" (who serve as president and vice-president, respectively). On January 1, 20 ...
, Jules Jordan Video,
New Sensations ''New Sensations'' is the thirteenth solo studio album by American rock musician Lou Reed, released in April 1984 by RCA Records. John Jansen and Reed produced the album. ''New Sensations'' peaked at No. 56 on the U.S. ''Billboard'' 200 and at N ...
and
Sweetheart Video Sweetheart Video is a Canadian pornographic film film studio, studio based in Montreal, Montreal, Quebec. The studio was founded by Jonathan Blitt and pornographic film actor, pornographic actress Nica Noelle in 2008, and it specializes in lesbia ...
. She was nominated for four
AVN Awards The AVN Awards are film awards sponsored and presented by the American adult video industry trade magazine '' AVN'' (''Adult Video News'') to recognize achievement in various aspects of the creation and marketing of American pornographic fi ...
in her lifetime, including three nominations for Female Performer of the Year. In 2016, she appeared in the non-pornographic film ''Model for Murder: The Centerfold Killer''.


Personal life

Ames married Kevin Moore, a pornography producer and director for Evil Angel. Weeks prior to her death, Ames said that she had a history of bipolar depressive disorder and dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality) due to a traumatic childhood, stating: "Some days I'll be fine and if I'm not doing anything I'll get these awful flashbacks of my childhood and I get very depressed and I can't get out of bed and cancel my scenes for like a week or two."


Death

In December 2017, Ames was due to perform in a pornographic scene, but withdrew when she learned that the co-star was a man who had appeared in gay pornography. On 3 December 2017, Ames wrote on
Twitter Twitter is an online social media and social networking service owned and operated by American company Twitter, Inc., on which users post and interact with 280-character-long messages known as "tweets". Registered users can post, like, and ...
: The tweet drew criticism and abuse from social media users. Jaxton Wheeler, a
pansexual , meaning "all" , definition = Sexual or romantic attraction to people regardless of gender , classification = Sexual identity , parent = Bisexuality , synonyms = , associated_terms = Polysexual, queer, heterofl ...
performer, demanded that Ames apologize or take a
cyanide Cyanide is a naturally occurring, rapidly acting, toxic chemical that can exist in many different forms. In chemistry, a cyanide () is a chemical compound that contains a functional group. This group, known as the cyano group, consists of ...
pill, which he later said he regretted. Ames, who was
bisexual Bisexuality is a romantic or sexual attraction or behavior toward both males and females, or to more than one gender. It may also be defined to include romantic or sexual attraction to people regardless of their sex or gender identity, whi ...
, defended her right to exercise her sexual autonomy in a subsequent tweet. On 5 December 2017, two days after her tweet, Ames was found dead in a park in
Camarillo, California Camarillo ( ) is a city in Ventura County in the U.S. state of California. As of the 2020 United States Census, the population was 70,741, an increase of 5,540 from the 65,201 counted in the 2010 Census. Camarillo is named for brothers Juan an ...
, at the age of 23. Her death was ruled a suicide due to
asphyxia Asphyxia or asphyxiation is a condition of deficient supply of oxygen to the body which arises from abnormal breathing. Asphyxia causes generalized hypoxia, which affects primarily the tissues and organs. There are many circumstances that can i ...
by hanging by the Ventura County Medical Examiner's Office. Upon her autopsy, toxicology results revealed that she had
cocaine Cocaine (from , from , ultimately from Quechuan languages, Quechua: ''kúka'') is a central nervous system (CNS) stimulant mainly recreational drug use, used recreationally for its euphoria, euphoric effects. It is primarily obtained from t ...
,
marijuana Cannabis, also known as marijuana among other names, is a psychoactive drug from the cannabis plant. Native to Central or South Asia, the cannabis plant has been used as a drug for both recreational and entheogenic purposes and in various tra ...
, the
antidepressant Antidepressants are a class of medication used to treat major depressive disorder, anxiety disorders, chronic pain conditions, and to help manage addictions. Common side-effects of antidepressants include dry mouth, weight gain, dizziness, hea ...
Sertraline (Zoloft), and the anxiolytic alprazolam (Xanax) in her system at her time of death. Close friends stated that cyberbullying led to her suicide. An investigation into her suicide was covered in the Audible series ''The Last Days of August'' by journalist Jon Ronson after her husband, Kevin Moore, encouraged Ronson and his producer to look into the cyberbullying that he claimed had led to Ames's death. In the podcast, Ronson investigates the cyberbullying aspect of the story but then goes further and looks more closely at Moore's role in Ames's death by examining his prior relationships and Ames's history of mental illness. Ronson concludes that a number of people around Ames contributed to the poor mental state that led to her death and draws comparisons between Ames's suicide and the fictional suicide of the young girl in J. B. Priestley's play '' An Inspector Calls'' (1945). In the wake of Ames's death and the deaths of several other adult performers that year, several initiatives within the industry were proposed to deal with the issue, including The August Project, a hotline conceived by Moore, and
Pineapple Support Pineapple Support is a nonprofit organization that provides free and low-cost mental health therapy to pornographic film actors, producers and others who work in the adult film industry. It launched in April 2018 by adult performer Leya Tanit in re ...
, a non-profit organization launched in April 2018 by British performer Leya Tanit.


References


External links


Podcast: the Last Days of August
* {{DEFAULTSORT:Ames, August 1994 births 2017 suicides Actresses from Colorado Springs, Colorado Bisexual pornographic film actresses Black Canadian LGBT people Bullying and suicide American pornographic film actresses Canadian people of Polish descent Canadian emigrants to the United States Female suicides LGBT adult models Canadian LGBT actors American LGBT actors LGBT people from Colorado People from Antigonish, Nova Scotia People with bipolar disorder Suicides by hanging in California Victims of cyberbullying 21st-century LGBT people 21st-century American women