Major Denis Bloodnok is a

fictional character In fiction, a character (or speaker, in poetry) is a person or other being in a narrative (such as a novel, play, radio or television series, music, film, or video game). The character may be entirely fictional or based on a real-life perso ...

from the 1950s

BBC Radio BBC Radio is an operational business division and service of the British Broadcasting Corporation (which has operated in the United Kingdom under the terms of a royal charter since 1927). The service provides national radio stations covering ...

comedy ''

The Goon Show ''The Goon Show'' is a British radio comedy programme, originally produced and broadcast by the BBC Home Service from 1951 to 1960, with occasional repeats on the BBC Light Programme. The first series, broadcast from 28 May to 20 September 19 ...

''. He was voiced by

Peter Sellers Peter Sellers (born Richard Henry Sellers; 8 September 1925 – 24 July 1980) was an English actor and comedian. He first came to prominence performing in the BBC Radio comedy series ''The Goon Show'', featured on a number of hit comic songs ...

Basis of character

Bloodnok's army career is notable for cowardice and monetary irregularities. He was discharged after being found dressed as a woman, although he claimed it was carnival night. He is repeatedly implied to be a womaniser. A prime example of this is in "Drums Along the Mersey" where he is thrown out of a boat for being caught with the captain's wife. Another example is featured in "The Histories of Pliny the Elder", when he says: "You know that saying 'Caesar's wife is above suspicion'? Well, I put an end to all that rubbish!" Also, in "The Jet-Propelled Guided

NAAFI The Navy, Army and Air Force Institutes (NAAFI ) is a company created by the British government on 9 December 1920 to run recreational establishments needed by the British Armed Forces, and to sell goods to servicemen and their families. It runs ...

", when Moriarty arrives at his tent to bribe him into blowing up said NAAFI, he catches Bloodnok saying supposedly to a woman he was romancing, "Good night darling, I'll see you later", to which Milligan, playing Throat, replies "Good night, darling". In addition, during "Tales of Men's Shirts", he appears obsessed with women, answering a request for a favour with "What's her name?" Bloodnok was based on the memories of

Spike Milligan Terence Alan "Spike" Milligan (16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002) was an Irish actor, comedian, writer, musician, poet, and playwright. The son of an English mother and Irish father, he was born in British Colonial India, where he spent his ...

who remembered an old Colonel who used to come to their shows in Italy. The Bill Hall Trio (which Milligan was a member of at the time) got friendly with him and also found he was notorious at missing his wallet every time he had to pay for a round of drinks and used to make up probably exaggerated stories of his military experiences. Milligan has stated in his memoirs that one night they put the Colonel in the wings, and whenever it got quiet, the Colonel shouted "These boys were at Cassino you know!" This probably got the biggest laugh of the night so Milligan brought the Colonel up to the stage to take the applause. Milligan was in contact with him up until the Colonel died in 1958.

Regiments

He introduces himself in "Napoleon's Piano" as "Major Denis Bloodnok, late of the 3rd Disgusting Fusiliers, OBE, MT, MT and MT" (Seagoon asks what the MTs are for, to which Bloodnok responds "I get tuppence on each of them"). Also said to be a former member of the 3rd Mounted

, and the 3rd Regular Army Deserters. In " The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler (of Bexhill-on-Sea)", Major Bloodnok is

officer commanding The officer commanding (OC), also known as the officer in command or officer in charge (OiC), is the commander of a sub-unit or minor unit (smaller than battalion size), principally used in the United Kingdom and Commonwealth. In other countries, t ...

of the 56th Heavy Underwater Artillery (the real 56th Heavy Regiment, Royal Artillery was Milligan's regiment during WW2). ''The Affair of the Lone Banana'' sees Bloodnok as "Major Bloodnok, late of

Zsa Zsa Gabor Zsa Zsa Gabor (, ; born Sári Gábor ; February 6, 1917 – December 18, 2016) was a Hungarian-American socialite and actress. Her sisters were actresses Eva and Magda Gabor. Gabor competed in the 1933 Miss Hungary pageant, where she ...

's Third Regular Husbands". In "The Mummified Priest", when Seagoon explains that he has come to Egypt to look for the tomb of a priest belonging to the third or fourth dynasties, Bloodnok replies, "Fourth Dynasties? My old regiment!" He has also claimed to have been a member of the 3rd Heavy Nudists ("Oh, what a cap badge they had!"). It is possible that he was at one time a member of a cavalry regiment: Roper's Light Horse are mentioned in more than one episode. In "The Last of the Smoking Seagoons", Major Bloodnok hides Ned of Wales in the Bloodnok Patriotic Military Museum; in doing so, he hears the cash register's ring, and reminisces: "Oh, that tune how it haunts me; it's my regimental march for the Third Mounted Cash Registers, you know". In " The Fear of Wages", Seagoon is the commander of the Third Armoured Thunderboxes ("who vanished in Burma ten years ago"), while Bloodnok is an officer in the regiment. In "Dishonoured", Bloodnok recruits Seagoon and Eccles into the 3rd Bombay Irish to fight the Red Bladder.

Ambassador

Bloodnok often features in episodes as Neddie's former commanding officer, but in ''The Gold Plate Robbery'' he appears in the capacity of British ambassador to Marrakesh. After his usual tumultuous, flatulent introduction he is heard to muse aloud "Now, for a kip on full Ambassador's pay. Gad! I wonder what old

Gladwyn Jebb Hubert Miles Gladwyn Jebb, 1st Baron Gladwyn (25 April 1900 – 24 October 1996) was a prominent British civil servant, diplomat and politician who served as the acting secretary-general of the United Nations between 1945 and 1946. Early ...

's doing". Bloodnok then agrees to provide his old enemy the tribal leader The Red Bladder (played by

Ray Ellington Henry Pitts Brown (17 March 1916 – 27 February 1985), known professionally as Ray Ellington, was an English singer, drummer and bandleader. He is best known for his appearances on ''The Goon Show'' from 1951 to 1960. The Ray Ellington Quartet h ...

) with weapons and ammunition in return for a stolen gold plate, which, when quizzed, Bloodnok claims is actually the

gold disc Music recording certification is a system of certifying that a music recording has shipped, sold, or streamed a certain number of units. The threshold quantity varies by type (such as album, single, music video) and by nation or territory (see ...

which he won for a

hit record A hit song, also known as a hit record, hit single or simply a hit, is a recorded song or instrumental that becomes broadly popular or well-known. Although ''hit song'' means any widely played or big-selling song, the specific term ''hit record' ...

. Given that the episode contains a considerable amount of mockery by Milligan of the

ruling class In sociology, the ruling class of a society is the social class who set and decide the political and economic agenda of society. In Marxist philosophy, the ruling class are the capitalist social class who own the means of production and by exte ...

, the juxtaposition of Bloodnok as a lazy and

venal Venality is a vice associated with being bribeable or willing to sell one's services or power, especially when people are intended to act in a decent way instead. In its most recognizable form, venality causes people to lie and steal for their own ...

diplomat in a

North Africa North Africa, or Northern Africa is a region encompassing the northern portion of the African continent. There is no singularly accepted scope for the region, and it is sometimes defined as stretching from the Atlantic shores of Mauritania in ...

n setting with a reference to a distinguished British diplomat of the day may constitute another satirical swipe by the author - possibly a topical one in reference to the then-recent debacle of the Suez crisis of 1956. The same lampooning of the English aristocracy and North African / Foreign Legion themes are also present in the episode ''Under Two Floorboards'', (Milligan's satirical take on P.C. Wren's 1924 novel

Beau Geste ''Beau Geste'' is an adventure novel by British writer P. C. Wren, which details the adventures of three English brothers who enlist separately in the French Foreign Legion following the theft of a valuable jewel from the country house of a rel ...

), in which Bluebottle and Eccles play Neddie's brothers, who, despite being members of an aristocratic family and having taken degrees at university, are barely able to read - Bluebottle actually suggesting that, rather than read ''Beau Geste'', they "put some wheels on it and pull it round" as if it were a child's toy dog.

Running gags

Bloodnok is plagued by chronic gastro-intestinal problems and his entrance is usually accompanied by explosions or

flatulent Flatulence, in humans, is the expulsion of gas from the intestines via the anus, commonly referred to as farting. "Flatus" is the medical word for gas generated in the stomach or bowels. A proportion of intestinal gas may be swallowed environm ...

sound effects, the sound being created by the

BBC Radiophonic Workshop The BBC Radiophonic Workshop was one of the sound effects units of the BBC, created in 1958 to produce incidental sounds and new music for radio and, later, television. The unit is known for its experimental and pioneering work in electroni ...

(on the one occasion it wasn't played, Bloodnok cried, "I'm cured!") and quotes such as: :"The screens, nurse! Quick, the screens!" :"No wonder I can't go to parties any more..." :"No more curried eggs for me." :"It's a river steamer! And what a steamer..." In "The Policy" Bloodnok sings a song called "The

Indigestion Indigestion, also known as dyspepsia or upset stomach, is a condition of impaired digestion. Symptoms may include upper abdominal fullness, heartburn, nausea, belching, or upper abdominal pain. People may also experience feeling full earlier t ...

Waltz".

Catch phrases

* "It's Hell in there!" - typically about somewhere hot, crowded etc. or his own quarters and/or latrine. * "I say, you're cutting it rather fine, aren't you?" - after another character has uttered seemingly contradictory statements. * "I don't know who you are sir, or where you come from, but you've done me a power of good." - often shortened to "you've (or "that's") done me a power of good". In "The Gold Plate Robbery" the catchphrase was set to music.

Other characters

In several episodes Bloodnok has an Indian manservant called Singhiz Thing, voiced by Milligan. Bloodnok's arch enemy is "The Red Bladder", voiced by Goons musician

References

External links

Bloodnok quotes

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bloodnok, Major Denis Goon Show characters Fictional majors Male characters in radio Radio characters introduced in 1951