"Love means never having to say you're sorry" is a catchphrase based on a line from the
Erich Segal
Erich Wolf Segal (June 16, 1937January 17, 2010) was an American author, screenwriter, educator, and classicist who wrote the bestselling novel '' Love Story'' (1970) and its hit film adaptation.
Early life and education
Born and raised in a ...
novel ''
Love Story'' and was popularized by
its 1970 film adaptation starring
Ali MacGraw
Elizabeth Alice MacGraw (born April 1, 1939) is an American actress and activist. She gained attention with her role in the film ''Goodbye, Columbus'' (1969), for which she won the Golden Globe Award for Most Promising Newcomer. She gained an ...
and
Ryan O'Neal
Ryan O'Neal (born April 20, 1941) is an American actor and former boxer. He trained as an amateur boxer before beginning his career in acting in 1960. In 1964, he landed the role of Rodney Harrington on the ABC nighttime soap opera '' Peyton Place ...
. The line is spoken twice in the film: once in the middle of the film, by Jennifer Cavalleri (MacGraw's character), when Oliver Barrett (O'Neal) apologizes to her for his anger; and as the last line of the film, by Oliver, when his father says "I'm sorry" after learning of Jennifer's death. In the script, the line is phrased slightly differently: "Love means not ever having to say you're sorry."
The line proved memorable, and has been repeated in various contexts since. In 2005, it was voted #13 in the
American Film Institute
The American Film Institute (AFI) is an American nonprofit film organization that educates filmmakers and honors the heritage of the motion picture arts in the United States. AFI is supported by private funding and public membership fees.
Leade ...
's list
AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movie Quotes.
The band
Sounds of Sunshine Sounds of Sunshine were an American sunshine pop group from Los Angeles, California consisting of three brothers. The group released one album on Ranwood Records in 1971, which peaked on the ''Billboard'' 200 at #187. Its title track, "Love Means ...
had a
Top 40
In the music industry, the Top 40 is the current, 40 most-popular songs in a particular genre. It is the best-selling or most frequently broadcast popular music. Record charts have traditionally consisted of a total of 40 songs. "Top 40" or " con ...
hit in the United States with a song titled "Love Means You Never Have to Say You're Sorry" in 1971. "Love means never having to say you're..." is the opening sentence in the popular song "Can't Help but Love You" by
The Whispers
The Whispers is an American group from Los Angeles, California, who have scored hit records since the late 1960s. They are best known for their two number one R&B singles, " And the Beat Goes On" in 1980 and "Rock Steady" in 1987. The Whispers ...
, from their album named after the movie, issued in 1972.
The line has also been criticized or mocked for suggesting that apologies are unnecessary in a loving relationship. Another character played by O'Neal disparages it in the 1972 screwball comedy ''
What's Up, Doc?'': in that film's final scene,
Barbra Streisand
Barbara Joan "Barbra" Streisand (; born April 24, 1942) is an American singer, actress and director. With a career spanning over six decades, she has achieved success in multiple fields of entertainment, and is among the few performers List ...
's character says "Love means never having to say you're sorry." and bats her eyelashes, and O'Neal's character responds in a flat
deadpan
Deadpan, dry humour, or dry-wit humour is the deliberate display of emotional neutrality or no emotion, commonly as a form of comedic delivery to contrast with the ridiculousness or absurdity of the subject matter. The delivery is meant to be blun ...
voice, "That's the dumbest thing I ever heard."
MacGraw has said that she always hated the line and considered it ridiculous.
In popular culture
In the 34th episode of the second season of ''
Small Wonder Small Wonder or variants may refer to:
Film, television and theatre
* ''Small Wonder'' (TV series), a 1985–1989 American sitcom
* '' A Small Wonder'', a 1966 Australian television film
* '' Small Wonders'', a 1995 documentary film
* ''Small Wond ...
'', entitled "You Gotta Have Heart", the little robot girl Vicki's parents explain love to her as "love means never having to say you're sorry."
In a 2004 episode of ''
The Simpsons
''The Simpsons'' is an American animated sitcom created by Matt Groening for the Fox Broadcasting Company. The series is a satirical depiction of American life, epitomized by the Simpson family, which consists of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, ...
'' ("
Catch 'Em If You Can"), the Simpson family watches the film, and
Lisa Lisa or LISA may refer to:
People
People with the mononym
* Lisa Lisa (born 1967), American actress and lead singer of the Cult Jam
* Lisa (Japanese musician, born 1974), stylized "LISA", Japanese singer and producer
* Lisa Komine (born 1978), J ...
retorts, "No, it doesn't!" The line has also been parodied countless times, usually
substituting another word or phrase for "love" and/or "you're sorry", especially the latter. The quote is also shown in the TV series ''
Love Rain
''Love Rain'' () is a 2012 South Korean television series directed by Yoon Seok-ho. Set in the seventies and the present day, it tells a love story over two generations, with Jang Keun-suk and Im Yoon-ah playing dual roles. It aired on KBS2 from ...
''.
In the 1st issue of
DC Comics
DC Comics, Inc. (doing business as DC) is an American comic book publisher and the flagship unit of DC Entertainment, a subsidiary of Warner Bros. Discovery.
DC Comics is one of the largest and oldest American comic book companies, with thei ...
character
Harley Quinn
Harley Quinn is a character (arts), character appearing in American comic books published by DC Comics. Quinn was created by Paul Dini and Bruce Timm as a comic relief henchwoman for the supervillain Joker (character), Joker in ''Batman: The An ...
's first
ongoing series
In comics, an ongoing series is a series that runs indefinitely. This is in contrast to limited series (a series intended to end after a certain number of issues thus limited), a one shot (a comic book which is not a part of an ongoing series), ...
by Karl Kesel, Harley exclaims "When you gonna learn, puddin'--Love is never having to say you're sorry!" to the
Joker when she decides to break up with him after she has had enough of his mistreatment and abuse.
On ''
iZombie
''iZombie'', originally titled ''I, Zombie'', is a comic book series created by writer Chris Roberson and artist Michael Allred, published by DC Comics' Vertigo imprint beginning in 2010. The series deals with Gwen Dylan ( née Gwendolyn Price ...
'' Season 2, Episode 19, titled "Salivation Army", Liv says, "A massive zombie outbreak means never having to say you're sorry."
On ''
Weeds'', Nancy Botwin, after the death of her drug dealer mentor, U-Turn, explains to the tattoo artist her reason for getting a U-Turn traffic sign tattoo is that "It just reminds me that Thug means never having to say you're sorry." When asked by the tattoo artist if she doesn't mean "love", Nancy replies, "Absolutely not. Love means you're constantly apologizing."
In the episode "Stop, In the Name of Love" of ''
Family Matters
''Family Matters'' is an American television sitcom that debuted on ABC on September 22, 1989, and ended on May 9, 1997. However it moved to CBS, where it was shown from September 19, 1997, to July 17, 1998. A spin-off of '' Perfect Strangers ...
'', Waldo Faldo asks Laura Winslow out, and she accepts, much to Steve Urkel's dismay. Waldo then responds to Urkel saying, "I'm sorry, Steve. I know how you feel about Laura, but it's like they say in the movie ''Love Story'', 'Love means never having to say, I'm sorry' Steve, but I'm taking your chick!"
In ''
Dark Shadows
''Dark Shadows'' is an American gothic soap opera that aired weekdays on the ABC television network, from June 27, 1966, to April 2, 1971. The show depicted the lives, loves, trials, and tribulations of the wealthy Collins family of Collinsport ...
'',
Johnny Depp
John Christopher Depp II (born June 9, 1963) is an American actor and musician. He is the recipient of multiple accolades, including a Golden Globe Award and a Screen Actors Guild Award, in addition to nominations for three Academy Award ...
's character
Barnabas Collins
Barnabas Collins is a fictional character, a featured role in the ABC daytime serial ''Dark Shadows'', which aired from 1966 to 1971. Barnabas is a 175-year-old vampire in search of fresh blood and his lost love, Josette. The character, original ...
tells a group of hippies, "I am reminded of a line from Erich Segal's ''Love Story'': 'Love means never having to say you are sorry.'" "However, please know that it is with sincere regret...that I must now kill all of you."
On ''
Why Women Kill
''Why Women Kill'' is an American dark comedy-drama anthology television series created by Marc Cherry. Set in multiple time periods, the series depicts the events leading to deaths caused by women. It premiered on August 15, 2019, on CBS All ...
'', Season 1, Episode 1 is titled "Murder Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry".
References
External links
*{{cite web , title=Ali MacGraw's Definition of Love (''Love Story'' Reunion Show), url=http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Ali-MacGraws-Definition-of-Love-Video/topic/oprahshow , date=October 11, 2010
, publisher=
The Oprah Winfrey Show
''The Oprah Winfrey Show'', often referred to as ''The Oprah Show'' or simply ''Oprah'', is an American daytime broadcast syndication, syndicated talk show that aired nationally for 25 seasons from September 8, 1986, to May 25, 2011, in Chicag ...
Quotations from film
English phrases
1970 neologisms