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Love addiction is a proposed model of pathological passion-related behavior involving the feeling of falling and being
in love
Romance or romantic love is a feeling of love for, or a strong attraction towards another person, and the courtship behaviors undertaken by an individual to express those overall feelings and resultant emotions.
The ''Wiley Blackwell Encyc ...
. A medical review of related behaviors in animals and humans concluded that current medical evidence does not have definitions or criteria on an addiction model for love addiction, but there are reported similarities to substance dependence, such as euphoria and desire in the stimuli (drug intoxication), as well as
anhedonia
Anhedonia is a diverse array of deficits in hedonic function, including reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure. While earlier definitions emphasized the inability to experience pleasure, anhedonia is currently used by researchers t ...
and negative levels of mood when away from the stimuli (drug withdrawal), intrusive thoughts on it, and disregard for adverse consequences.
There has never been a reference to love addiction in the ''
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
The ''Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders'' (DSM; latest edition: DSM-5-TR, published in March 2022) is a publication by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) for the classification of mental disorders using a common langua ...
'' (DSM), a compendium of mental disorders and diagnostic criteria published by the
American Psychiatric Association
The American Psychiatric Association (APA) is the main professional organization of psychiatrists and trainee psychiatrists in the United States, and the largest psychiatric organization in the world. It has more than 37,000 members are involve ...
.
Medical research on love addiction is still ongoing today, and it has not yet been scientifically confirmed whether or not it is an addiction.
History
The modern history of the concept of the love addict – ignoring such precursors as
Robert Burton
Robert Burton (8 February 1577 – 25 January 1640) was an English author and fellow of Oxford University, who wrote the encyclopedic tome ''The Anatomy of Melancholy''.
Born in 1577 to a comfortably well-off family of the landed gentry, Burt ...
's dictum that 'love extended is mere madness' – extends to the early decades of the 20th century.
Freud
Sigmund Freud ( , ; born Sigismund Schlomo Freud; 6 May 1856 – 23 September 1939) was an Austrian neurologist and the founder of psychoanalysis, a clinical method for evaluating and treating pathologies explained as originating in conflicts in ...
's study of the
Wolf Man highlighted 'his liability to compulsive attacks of falling physically in love ... a compulsive
falling in love
Falling in love is the development of strong feelings of attachment and love, usually towards another person.
The term is metaphorical, emphasizing that the process, like the physical act of falling, is sudden, uncontrollable and leaves the ...
that came on and passed off by sudden fits'; but it was
Sandor Rado
Sandor Rado ( hu, Radó Sándor; 8 January 1890, Kisvárda – 14 May 1972, New York City) was a Hungarian psychoanalyst of the second generation, who moved to the United States of America in the 1930s.
According to Peter Gay, "Budapest produ ...
who in 1928 first popularized the term "love addict" – 'a person whose needs for more love, more succor, more support grow as rapidly as the frustrated people around her try to fill up what is, in effect, a terrible and unsatisfiable inner emptiness.' Even
Søren Kierkegaard
Søren Aabye Kierkegaard ( , , ; 5 May 1813 – 11 November 1855) was a Danish theologian, philosopher, poet, social critic, and religious author who is widely considered to be the first existentialist philosopher. He wrote critical texts on ...
in ''Works of Love'' said "Spontaneous
omanticlove makes a man free and in the next moment dependent ... spontaneous love can become unhappy, can reach the point of despair."
However, it was not until the 1970s and 1980s that the concept came to the popular fore.
Stanton Peele opened the door, almost unwittingly, with his 1975 book ''Love and Addiction''; but (as he later explained), while that work had been intended as 'a social commentary on how our society defines and patterns intimate relationships ... all of this social dimension has been removed, and the attention to love addiction has been channeled in the direction of regarding it as an individual, treatable psychopathology'. In 1976, the 12-Step program
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) is a twelve-step program for people recovering from sex addiction and love addiction. SLAA was founded in Boston, Massachusetts in 1976, by a member of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Though he had been a membe ...
(S.L.A.A.) started hosting weekly meetings based on
Alcoholics Anonymous
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is an international mutual aid fellowship of alcoholics dedicated to abstinence-based recovery from alcoholism through its spiritually-inclined Twelve Step program. Following its Twelve Traditions, AA is non-professi ...
. They published their Basic Text, ''Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous'', in 1986 discussing characteristics of and recovery from both love addiction and
sex addiction
According to proponents of the concept, sexual addiction, also known as sex addiction, is a state characterized by compulsive participation or engagement in sexual activity, particularly sexual intercourse, despite negative consequences. The con ...
. As of late 2012, S.L.A.A.'s membership had grown to an estimated 16,000 members in 43 countries. In 1985, Robin Norwood's ''
Women Who Love Too Much
''Women Who Love Too Much'' is a self-help book by licensed marriage and family therapist Robin Norwood published in 1985.
The book, which was a number one seller on the New York Times Best Seller list, ''New York Times'' Best Seller list's "advi ...
'' popularized the concept of love addiction for women. In 2004 a program just for love addicts was created--Love Addicts Anonymous. Since, variations on the dynamics of love addiction have become further popularized in the 1990s and 2000s by multiple authors.
Cultural examples
* In ''
A Spy in the House of Love
''A Spy in the House of Love'' is a 1954 novel by Anaïs Nin. Alongside her other novels, ''Ladders to Fire'', ''Children of the Albatross'', ''The Four-Chambered Heart'' and ''Seduction of the Minotaur'', it was gathered into a collection known ...
'', the heroine Sabina is said to have seen her 'love anxieties as resembling those of a drug addict, of alcoholics, of gamblers. The same irresistible impulse, tension, compulsion and then depression following the yielding to the impulse'. As a result, she has subsequently been described as 'feeling like a "love addict" enslaved to obsessive-compulsive patterns of behaviour'.
*
P. G. Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, ( ; 15 October 188114 February 1975) was an English author and one of the most widely read humorists of the 20th century. His creations include the feather-brained Bertie Wooster and his sagacious valet, Jeeve ...
features in ''The Inimitable Jeeves'' 'a character called Bingo who on about every third page meets a wonderful new woman who is going to save his life and is better than any woman he has ever met before, and then of course it flops ... a new burst of life, but it does not last'.
*
St. Augustine – 'to Carthage then I came, where a cauldron of unholy loves sang all about my ears' – has been interpreted as being, 'fundamentally, what one might call a "love addict"', with a disturbing tendency 'to invest all of himself in relationships and to "forget himself" in the intensity of his affection'.
[Judith C. Stark, ''Feminist Interpretations of Augustine'' (2007) p. 246]
*''
Splendor in the Grass
''Splendor in the Grass'' is a 1961 American period drama film produced and directed by Elia Kazan, from a screenplay written by William Inge. It stars Natalie Wood and Warren Beatty (in his film debut) as two high school sweethearts, naviga ...
''
oth the poem and the movieare about love addiction
Natalie Wood
Natalie Wood ( Zacharenko; July 20, 1938 – November 29, 1981) was an American actress who began her career in film as a child and successfully transitioned to young adult roles.
Wood started acting at age four and was given a co-starring r ...
went into a mental institution when her boyfriend left her.
:"What though the radiance which was once so bright.
:Be now for ever taken from my sight.
:Though nothing can bring back the hour
:of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
:we will grieve not, rather find :Strength in what remains behind; :in the primal sympathy which having been must ever be;
:in the soothing thoughts that spring.
:Out of human suffering;
:in the faith that looks through death;
:in years that bring the philosophic mind."
– William Wordsworth
See also
*
Codependence
In sociology, codependency is a theory that attempts to explain imbalanced relationships where one person enables another person's self-destructive behavior such as addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achiev ...
*
Disease model of addiction
The disease model of addiction describes an addiction as a disease with biological, neurological, genetic, and environmental sources of origin. The traditional medical model of disease requires only that an abnormal condition be present that cause ...
*
Limerence
Limerence is a state of mind which results from romantic or non-romantic feelings for another person, and typically includes intrusive, melancholic thoughts and/or tragic concerns for the object of one's affection as well as a desire to for ...
*
Obsessive love
Obsessive love or obsessive love disorder (OLD) is a proposed condition in which one person feels an overwhelming obsessive desire to possess and protect another person, sometimes with an inability to accept failure or rejection. Symptoms include ...
*
Unrequited love
Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. The beloved may not be aware of the admirer's deep and pure affection, or may consciously reject it. The Merriam Webster Online Dic ...
*
Yandere
The following is a glossary of terms that are specific to anime and manga. Anime includes animated series, films and videos, while manga includes graphic novels, drawings and related artwork.
''Note: Japanese words that are used in general (e. ...
References
Further reading
;Books
* ''Love and Addiction'' by Stanton Peele, PhD. (New American Library, 1975)
* ''Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: The Basic Text for the Augustine Fellowship'' (Augustine Fellowship, 1986)
* ''Women, Sex, and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power'' by Charlotte Davis. (William Morrow Paperbacks, 1990)
* ''When You Love too Much'' by Stephen Arterburn (Regal, 1991)
* ''Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love'' by Pia Mellody. (HarperOne, 1992)
* ''The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships'' by Patrick Carnes, PhD. (HCI, 1997)
* ''Confusing Love with Obsession: When Being in Love Means Being in Control'' by John D Moore. (Hazelden, 2006)
* ''Surviving Withdrawal: The Breakup Workbook for Love Addicts'' by Jim Hall, MS (Health C., 2011)
* ''Love Addict: Sex, Romance, and Other Dangerous Drugs'' by Ethlie Ann Vare. (HCI, 2011)
* ''Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictions '' (SASH, 2012)
* “Is It Love, or Is It Addiction” by Brenda Schaeffer. (Hazelden, 2009)
;Articles
Strung Out on Love and Checked In for Treatment2008 article: ''Love addiction – how to break it''
External links
*
* {{Official website, http://loveaddicts.org/index.html, Love Addicts Anonymous official website
Love