British
British may refer to:
Peoples, culture, and language
* British people, nationals or natives of the United Kingdom, British Overseas Territories, and Crown Dependencies.
** Britishness, the British identity and common culture
* British English, ...
euphemistic
A euphemism () is an innocuous word or expression used in place of one that is deemed offensive or suggests something unpleasant. Some euphemisms are intended to amuse, while others use bland, inoffensive terms for concepts that the user wishes ...
and irreverent substitute names and titles for people, groups and organisations and has coined a number of expressions to describe sex, drugs, alcohol and other aspects of human activity. Over the years these names and expressions have become in-jokes, used frequently in the magazine without explanation. Some have passed into general usage and can be found in other media and everyday conversation.
Euphemisms
* "Ugandan discussions", or a variation thereof (such as "discussing Ugandan affairs"), is often used as a euphemism for sex, usually while carrying out a supposedly official duty. The term originally referred to an incident at a party hosted by journalist
Neal Ascherson
Charles Neal Ascherson (born 5 October 1932) is a Scottish journalist and writer. He has been described by Radio Prague as "one of Britain's leading experts on central and eastern Europe". Ascherson is the author of several books on the history ...
and his first wife, at which fellow journalist
Mary Kenny
Mary Kenny (born 4 April 1944) is an Irish journalist, broadcaster and playwright. A founding member of the Irish Women's Liberation Movement, she was one of the country's first and foremost feminists, often contributes columns to the ''Irish In ...
allegedly had a "meaningful confrontation" with a former cabinet minister in the government of
Milton Obote
Apollo Milton Obote (28 December 1925 – 10 October 2005) was a Ugandan political leader who led Uganda to independence from British colonial rule in 1962. Following the nation's independence, he served as prime minister of Uganda from 1962 to ...
, later claiming that they were "upstairs discussing Uganda". The poet
James Fenton
James is a common English language surname and given name:
*James (name), the typically masculine first name James
* James (surname), various people with the last name James
James or James City may also refer to:
People
* King James (disambiguat ...
apparently coined the term. The saying is sometimes wrongly said to derive from a slanderous lie told by the late
Uganda
}), is a landlocked country in East Africa. The country is bordered to the east by Kenya, to the north by South Sudan, to the west by the Democratic Republic of the Congo, to the south-west by Rwanda, and to the south by Tanzania. The sou ...
n dictator
Idi Amin
Idi Amin Dada Oumee (, ; 16 August 2003) was a Ugandan military officer and politician who served as the third president of Uganda from 1971 to 1979. He ruled as a military dictator and is considered one of the most brutal despots in modern w ...
about his female foreign minister, when he claimed that he had fired her on 28 November 1974 for having sex with an unnamed white man in a toilet at a
Paris
Paris () is the Capital city, capital and List of communes in France with over 20,000 inhabitants, most populous city of France, with an estimated population of 2,165,423 residents in 2019 in an area of more than 105 km² (41 sq mi), ma ...
airport, but his lie came over 20 months after the phrase was first used by ''Private Eye'' on 9March 1973.Adrian Room ''Brewer's Dictionary of Modern Phrase and Fable'', London: Cassell, 2000, pp. 714–5 The euphemism has variations: for example, before his marriage, a senior member of the Royal family allegedly went on holiday with an ex- Page Three girl, whereupon ''Private Eye'' reported he had contracted a "Ugandan virus". In 1996, "Getting back to basics" was suggested as a replacement euphemism after the policy of the same name adopted by John Major's government, which some ''Private Eye'' contributors regarded as hypocritical. This view was vindicated by Conservative MP
Edwina Currie
Edwina Currie (' Cohen; born 13 October 1946) is a British writer, broadcaster and former politician, serving as Conservative Party Member of Parliament for South Derbyshire from 1983 until 1997. She was a Junior Health Minister for two years ...
's subsequent confirmation of a four-year affair with John Major in her book ''Diaries''.
* "
Tired and emotional
The phrase "tired and emotional" is a chiefly British euphemism for alcohol intoxication. It was popularised by the British satirical magazine '' Private Eye'' in 1967 after being used in a spoof diplomatic memo to describe the state of Labou ...
" is a euphemism for drunk, used in the British press to avoid libel laws. It was coined by ''Private Eye'' after a BBC report which used the term in describing 1960s
Labour
Labour or labor may refer to:
* Childbirth, the delivery of a baby
* Labour (human activity), or work
** Manual labour, physical work
** Wage labour, a socioeconomic relationship between a worker and an employer
** Organized labour and the labour ...
party cabinet minister and Deputy Leader
George Brown George Brown may refer to:
Arts and entertainment
* George Loring Brown (1814–1889), American landscape painter
* George Douglas Brown (1869–1902), Scottish novelist
* George Williams Brown (1894–1963), Canadian historian and editor
* G ...
(who was an
alcoholic
Alcoholism is, broadly, any drinking of alcohol that results in significant mental or physical health problems. Because there is disagreement on the definition of the word ''alcoholism'', it is not a recognized diagnostic entity. Predomina ...
). It first appeared in a parody memo supposedly informing civil servants how to describe Brown's conduct and state of mind. Due to the near-impossibility of proving intoxication without forensic evidence, journalists came to use the phrase as a way of describing drunkenness without inviting libel charges. In 1957 a trio of Labour politicians, Aneurin Bevan,
Morgan Phillips
Morgan Walter Phillips (18 June 1902 – 15 January 1963) was a colliery worker and trade union activist who became the General Secretary of the British Labour Party, involved in two of the party's election victories.
Life
Born in Aberdare, ...
and
Richard Crossman
Richard Howard Stafford Crossman (15 December 1907 – 5 April 1974) was a British Labour Party politician. A university classics lecturer by profession, he was elected a Member of Parliament in 1945 and became a significant figure among the ...
, successfully sued ''
The Spectator
''The Spectator'' is a weekly British magazine on politics, culture, and current affairs. It was first published in July 1828, making it the oldest surviving weekly magazine in the world.
It is owned by Frederick Barclay, who also owns ''The ...
'' over just such an allegation, which Crossman admitted in his diary was true of one of the three. The phrase was allegedly first used by a
BBC #REDIRECT BBC #REDIRECT BBC
Here i going to introduce about the best teacher of my life b BALAJI sir. He is the precious gift that I got befor 2yrs . How has helped and thought all the concept and made my success in the 10th board exam. ...
...
press officer in November 1963, as a description of Brown's condition when interviewed at very short notice on the night of the assassination of
John F. Kennedy
John Fitzgerald Kennedy (May 29, 1917 – November 22, 1963), often referred to by his initials JFK and the nickname Jack, was an American politician who served as the 35th president of the United States from 1961 until his assassination ...
; the magazine subsequently borrowed the phrase. Doubt must be cast on this claim because the programme on which Brown appeared was not broadcast by the BBC but by
Associated-Rediffusion
Associated-Rediffusion, later Rediffusion London, was the British ITV franchise holder for London and parts of the surrounding counties, on weekdays between 22 September 1955 and 29 July 1968. It was the first ITA franchisee to go on air, ...
. The
Defamation Act 2013
The Defamation Act 2013 (c 26) is an Act of the Parliament of the United Kingdom, which reformed English defamation law on issues of the right to freedom of expression and the protection of reputation. It also comprised a response to perception ...
introduced a number of important defences.
* ''"Arkell v. Pressdram"'' denotes a robust response to a claim of defamationspecifically, "fuck off". ''Private Eye'' had covered the case of a Mr. J. Arkell, whom the ''Eye'' accused of receiving kickbacks from a debt collection agency in his role as retail credit manager at Granada Group. The plaintiff's lawyers wrote a letter which concluded "His attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of your reply". The magazine's response was, in full, "We acknowledge your letter of 29th April referring to Mr J. Arkell. We note that Mr Arkell's attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of our reply and would therefore be grateful if you would inform us what his attitude to damages would be, were he to learn that the nature of our reply is as follows:
fuck off
Fuck off may also refer to:
* ''Fuck Off'', an art exhibition that ran alongside the Shanghai Biennial Festival in 2000
* "Fuck Off", a 1977 song by Wayne County & the Electric Chairs
* "Fuck Off", the preliminary title of "Le Freak", a 1978 so ...
". In the years following, the magazine would refer to the exchange as a euphemism for a blunt and coarse dismissal, "We refer you to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram". Although the case was never pursued, the phrase has become part of legal folklore, well enough understood to be referred to by
David Allen Green
David Allen Green (born 28 March 1971; 'Allen' is his second forename) is an English lawyer and writer. He is the former legal correspondent for the ''New Statesman''; writes about law and policy for the ''Financial Times''; and has previously b ...
in a general article, but relying on the response might not always be wise.
Stereotypical and exaggerated personifications of people and organisations
* Sir Herbert Gussett is a fictional character who is forever sending "Dear Sir" letters to the Press, usually ''
The Daily Telegraph
''The Daily Telegraph'', known online and elsewhere as ''The Telegraph'', is a national British daily broadsheet newspaper published in London by Telegraph Media Group and distributed across the United Kingdom and internationally.
It was f ...
'' or the '' Daily Express''. In the early 1980s he lived in Lymeswold, but he has since given addresses in
Wiltshire
Wiltshire (; abbreviated Wilts) is a historic and ceremonial county in South West England with an area of . It is landlocked and borders the counties of Dorset to the southwest, Somerset to the west, Hampshire to the southeast, Gloucestershire ...
,
Dorset
Dorset ( ; archaically: Dorsetshire , ) is a county in South West England on the English Channel coast. The ceremonial county comprises the unitary authority areas of Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole and Dorset. Covering an area of , ...
Conservative
Conservatism is a cultural, social, and political philosophy that seeks to promote and to preserve traditional institutions, practices, and values. The central tenets of conservatism may vary in relation to the culture and civilization in ...
MP for somewhere-or-other, and during the Thatcher government sat on the
back benches
''Back Benches'' was a New Zealand political interview show, presented by Wallace Chapman and Damian Christie. It was primarily filmed at the Backbencher pub, across the street from Parliament Buildings in Wellington.
The show was cancelled o ...
. The name was inspired by that of a real-life Tory backbencher, Sir Tufton Beamish, who sat for Lewes 1945–1974, but the character was modelled on MPs who were well to the right of Beamish. Sir Bufton's constituency was usually the fictitious safe rural seat of "Lymeswold" (named from a commercially produced cheese), and although this was subject to topical change, his greediness, laziness, bigotry and incompetence remained constant. A file photo was frequently used, which turned out to be a picture of a real-life Conservative councillor, which eventually drew a "good-natured complaint" letter from the "innocent victim."
* Mike Giggler, an e-mail correspondent in newspaper letters pages, usually appearing at the bottom of the page having sent in a particularly unfunny
pun
A pun, also known as paronomasia, is a form of word play that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect. These ambiguities can arise from the intentional use of homophoni ...
as often seen at the bottom of the ''Guardian'' letters page.
* Lord Gnome is purported to be the proprietor of the magazine, and is an amalgam of various different media magnates. Originally modelled on figures including Lord Beaverbrook and
Lord Thomson of Fleet
Roy Herbert Thomson, 1st Baron Thomson of Fleet, (5 June 1894 – 4 August 1976) was a Canadian-born British newspaper proprietor who became one of the moguls of Fleet Street in London.
He first came to prominence when he was selling radios i ...
, first appearing under the name "Aristides P. Gnome" in the early 1960s, Lord Gnome has since accumulated other characteristics to encompass the likes of
Rupert Murdoch
Keith Rupert Murdoch ( ; born 11 March 1931) is an Australian-born American business magnate. Through his company News Corp, he is the owner of hundreds of local, national, and international publishing outlets around the world, including ...
. He is portrayed in the magazine as a man of great wealth, greed, unscrupulousness and vulgarity. Lord Gnome rarely writes under his own name, but issues his proclamations, editorials and threats through a fictional underling named Emmanuel Strobes, with reference frequently made to his Lordship's "assistant", Miss Rita Chevrolet. Rita Chevrolet's name is a parody of French exotic dancer Rita Cadillac.
:Lord Gnome, as well as being a media magnate, is regularly referred to as having other business interests. Special offers from "Gnomemart" frequently appear in the magazine, which also carries an occasional column called "The Curse of Gnome", chronicling the subsequent misfortunes of those who have in the past taken legal action against the publication. In 1993, during the only televised ceremony for ''Private Eye'' Bore of the Year Awards ("the Boftys"), Lord Gnome (played by
Peter Cook
Peter Edward Cook (17 November 1937 – 9 January 1995) was an English actor, comedian, satirist, playwright and screenwriter. He was the leading figure of the British satire boom of the 1960s, and he was associated with the anti-establishme ...
) made a brief appearance on a satellite hook-up from his yacht, pushing a member of the yacht's crew overboard in a parody of
Robert Maxwell
Ian Robert Maxwell (born Ján Ludvík Hyman Binyamin Hoch; 10 June 1923 – 5 November 1991) was a Czechoslovak-born British media proprietor, member of parliament (MP), suspected spy, and fraudster.
Early in his life, Maxwell escaped from ...
's death. The word "Gnome" may refer to the Gnomes of Zürich. Occasionally Lord Gnome is an oblique reference to editor
Ian Hislop
Ian David Hislop (born 13 July 1960) is a British journalist, satirist, writer, broadcaster, and editor of the magazine ''Private Eye''. He has appeared on numerous radio and television programmes and has been a team captain on the BBC quiz sho ...
. In the sporting world, Lord Gnome CC is a nomadic cricket side, founded in 1963, that is named after the fictitious proprietor.
* Inspector Knacker, also referred to as "Knacker of the Yard", is a senior (and possibly unreliable) police officer. The name alludes both to
knacker
A knacker (), knackerman or knacker man is a person who removes and clears animal carcasses (dead, dying, injured) from private farms or public highways and renders the collected carcasses into by-products such as fats, tallow (yellow grea ...
s' yards, where old horses are sent to be put down and their carcases disposed of, and to "Slipper of the Yard", the nickname given to real-life police
Chief Superintendent
Chief superintendent is a senior rank in police forces, especially in those organised on the British model.
Rank insignia of chief superintendent
File:Sa-police-chief-superintendent.png, South Australia Police
File:RCMP Chief Superintendent.pn ...
Jack Slipper
Jack Kenneth Slipper (20 April 1924, in London – 24 August 2005, in Pershore) was a Detective Chief Superintendent in the Metropolitan Police in London. He was known as "Slipper of the Yard" (referring to Scotland Yard). He was mainly know ...
of Scotland Yard. The name may be used in reference either to individual policemen ("Another top Knacker resigns"), or to the police in general ("These allegations are being looked into by Inspector Knacker"). If the story refers to police activities in Scotland, Wales, or Ireland, the name may be changed to "McKnacker", "Dai Knacker", or "O'Knacker", respectively.
* Mr Justice Cocklecarrot usually presides over court cases.
Beachcomber
A beachcomber is a person who practices beachcombing.
Beachcomber or Beachcombers may also refer to:
Arts and entertainment
* ''The Beachcomber'' (1915 film), an American drama
* ''The Beachcomber'' (1938 film), starring Charles Laughton and a ...
wrote a humorous column in the '' Daily Express'' for over fifty years, and Cocklecarrot J. was a regular feature.
* Sue, Grabbitt and Runne is a fictitious firm of solicitors retained to engage in lawsuits both real and fictional. These are often frivolous, pointless, cynical or without foundation (see Arkell v Pressdramabove) but not always. Danny La Rue, a well-known
female impersonator
A drag queen is a person, usually male, who uses drag clothing and makeup to imitate and often exaggerate female gender signifiers and gender roles for entertainment purposes. Historically, drag queens have usually been gay men, and part of ...
Liberace
Władziu Valentino Liberace (May 16, 1919 – February 4, 1987) was an American pianist, singer, and actor. A child prodigy born in Wisconsin to parents of Italian and Polish origin, he enjoyed a career spanning four decades of concerts, recordi ...
, who was ballooned as saying "I think your English queens are wonderful". La Rue supposedly responded by threatening to "go to the family solicitors, Rue, Grabbit and Son" (he was aggrieved at the implication that he was homosexual). In more serious cases, ''Private Eye'' often cites "Carter-Fuck", a derogatory reference to
Peter Carter-Ruck
Peter Frederick Carter-Ruck (26 February 1914 – 19 December 2003) was an English solicitor, specialising in libel cases. The firm he founded, Carter-Ruck, is still practising.
Biography
Personal life
Carter-Ruck was educated at St Edward's ...
of the law firm
Carter Ruck
Carter-Ruck is a British law firm founded by Peter Carter-Ruck. The firm specialises in libel, privacy, international law and commercial disputes. The leading legal directories (Legal 500 and Chambers and Partners) rank Carter-Ruck in the to ...
, which had a reputation for taking on defamation cases at great expense to clients and claiming particularly high damages, regardless of the gravity of the case.
* St Cake's School is an imaginary public school, run by Mr R. J. Kipling (BA, Leicester). The headmaster's name is part of the joke regarding the name "St Cake's", in reference to
Mr Kipling
Mr Kipling is a brand of cakes, pies and baked goods made in Carlton, South Yorkshire and Stoke-on-Trent, and marketed in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia and North America. It was introduced in May 1967 (at a time when cakes were more of ...
cakes. Articles featuring the school parody the "Court and Social" columns of ''
The Times
''The Times'' is a British daily national newspaper based in London. It began in 1785 under the title ''The Daily Universal Register'', adopting its current name on 1 January 1788. ''The Times'' and its sister paper '' The Sunday Times'' (f ...
'' and ''
The Daily Telegraph
''The Daily Telegraph'', known online and elsewhere as ''The Telegraph'', is a national British daily broadsheet newspaper published in London by Telegraph Media Group and distributed across the United Kingdom and internationally.
It was f ...
'', and the traditions and customs of the public school system. The school's motto is ''Quis paget entrat'' (Who pays gets in), although variations on this arise from time to time, such as when the school decided to admit only the daughters of very rich Asian businessmen, and the motto became ''All praise to the prophet, and death to the infidel''. While the school's newsletters feature extraordinary and unlikely results and prizes, events such as speech days, founders' days, term dates and feast days are announced with topical themes, such as under-age drinking, drug abuse, obesity, celebrity culture, anti-social behaviour and cheating in exams. The school is sometimes referred to as "the
Eton Eton most commonly refers to Eton College, a public school in Eton, Berkshire, England.
Eton may also refer to:
Places
*Eton, Berkshire, a town in Berkshire, England
* Eton, Georgia, a town in the United States
* Éton, a commune in the Meuse dep ...
of the
West Midlands
West or Occident is one of the four cardinal directions or points of the compass. It is the opposite direction from east and is the direction in which the Sun sets on the Earth.
Etymology
The word "west" is a Germanic word passed into some ...
", in reference to that area's relative lack of such schools.
*
Neasden
Neasden is a suburban area in northwest London, England. It is located around the centre of the London Borough of Brent and is within the NW2 ( Cricklewood) and NW10 (Willesden) postal districts. Neasden is near Wembley Stadium, the Welsh Har ...
is a Greater London suburb which is the location of various parody institutions, and is often given as the origin of fictional letters. In 1971,
Richard Ingrams
Richard Reid Ingrams (born 19 August 1937 in Chelsea, London) is an English journalist, a co-founder and second editor of the British satirical magazine ''Private Eye'', and founding editor of '' The Oldie'' magazine. He left the latter job at ...
said simply that Neasden was used "to denote the contemporary urban environment". Stories from the world of football are satirised in "reports" by E.I. Addio (a reference to the
football chant
A football chant or terrace chant is form of vocalisation performed by supporters of association football, typically during football matches. Football chanting is an expression of collective identity, most often used by fans to express their ...
''
Ee Aye Addio
Ee Aye Addio is a traditional United Kingdom, British celebratory soccer, football crowd song.
The usual format is ''"We've won the cup, we've won the cup, ee aye addio, we've won the cup".''
Variations are often made up on the spur of the momen ...
'') about the mythical and notoriously under-performing club Neasden F.C., which plays in the deliciously depressing North Circular Relegation League, with quotes from its manager "tight-lipped, ashen-faced supremo Ron Knee (59)" and "the fans" (implying that there were only two) Sid and Doris Bonkers. Sid and Doris Hill are occasionally given as the fans' names, a pun on the suburb of
Dollis Hill
Dollis Hill is an area in northwest London, which consists of the streets surrounding the 35 hectares (86 acres) Gladstone Park. It is served by a London Underground station, Dollis Hill, on the Jubilee line, providing good links to central Lo ...
, which is near Neasden. The club's recent misfortunes lampooned the recent tribulations of major clubs in the national news. Often, underneath a spoof sports story, the sub-column "late result" would appear, reporting on a match recently played by Neasden. This normally involved a humorously unlikely team, often one related to current affairs, such as
Taleban
The Taliban (; ps, طالبان, ṭālibān, lit=students or 'seekers'), which also refers to itself by its state name, the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan, is a Deobandi Islamic fundamentalist, militant Islamist, jihadist, and Pa ...
FC. Neasden nearly always lose by a huge margin, often owing to own goals scored by veteran player "Baldy" Pevsner, who often scores a consolation "one boot", and in spite of the efforts of their goalkeeper, "One-legged net-minder Wally Foot". Neasden is also the setting for the regular column Neasden Police Log, a fictional log-entry style police report that almost invariably depicts the police as racist, incompetent, and obsessed with observing politically correct rules at the expense of maintaining law and order. In 1970, "Neasden" was a brief hit put in the Eye as a throwaway plastic
single
Single may refer to:
Arts, entertainment, and media
* Single (music), a song release
Songs
* "Single" (Natasha Bedingfield song), 2004
* "Single" (New Kids on the Block and Ne-Yo song), 2008
* "Single" (William Wei song), 2016
* "Single", by ...
, sung by William Rushton, who contributed to the ''Eye'' as a cartoonist: it can be heard in John Betjeman's TV documentary ''
Metro-land
Metro-land (or Metroland) is a name given to the suburban areas that were built to the north-west of London in the counties of Buckinghamshire, Hertfordshire and Middlesex in the early part of the 20th century that were served by the Metropo ...
'' as a backing track. Betjeman also worked briefly on the magazine, establishing its "Nooks & Corners" architecture criticism column.
* Spiggy Topes is, with or without his group The Turds, the archetypal rock star, often used when the magazine wishes to satirise the antics of the more pretentious members of the rock establishment. His persona appears to owe a good deal to
John Lennon
John Winston Ono Lennon (born John Winston Lennon; 9 October 19408 December 1980) was an English singer, songwriter, musician and peace activist who achieved worldwide fame as founder, co-songwriter, co-lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist of ...
and
Mick Jagger
Sir Michael Philip Jagger (born 26 July 1943) is an English singer and songwriter who has achieved international fame as the lead vocalist and one of the founder members of the rock band the Rolling Stones. His ongoing songwriting partnershi ...
, although
Paul McCartney
Sir James Paul McCartney (born 18 June 1942) is an English singer, songwriter and musician who gained worldwide fame with the Beatles, for whom he played bass guitar and shared primary songwriting and lead vocal duties with John Lennon. One ...
's fashion designer daughter Stella was once referred to as Stella Topes. In some entries, Topes has received both a knighthood and a more refined version of his name"Sir Spigismund Topes".
* Dave Spart is a parody of a stereotypical left-wing agitator who featured in editions of the 1970s and from time to time since (for example, after the
2011 England riots
The 2011 England riots, more widely known as the London riots, were a series of riots between 6 and 11 August 2011. Thousands of people rioted in cities and towns across England, which saw looting, arson, as well as mass deployment of police ...
and following the split in
Corbyn Corbyn is a surname and a given name. Notable people with the name include:
Surname
* Frederick Corbyn (1791–1853), British surgeon in India
* Jeremy Corbyn (born 1949), British politician and leader of the Labour Party 2015–2020
* Piers Corbyn ...
military intervention against ISIL
In response to rapid territorial gains made by the so-called Islamic State during the first half of 2014, and its universally condemned executions, reported human rights abuses and the fear of further spillovers of the Syrian Civil War, many s ...
). Occasionally, his sister, Deirdre Spart, has offered her views. ''Private Eye'' often refers to real-life hard-left activists as "Spartists", itself a parody of the left-wing Spartacist League. Ken Livingstone is sometimes lampooned as Ken Leninspart.
* A taxi driver writes is a spoof of generally right-wing views of politicians, and parodies taxi drivers' chat with customers, frequently ending with some figure prominent in the news of the day ("I had that nsert namein the back of the cab the other day... lovely fella") or with blunt advocacy of
capital punishment
Capital punishment, also known as the death penalty, is the state-sanctioned practice of deliberately killing a person as a punishment for an actual or supposed crime, usually following an authorized, rule-governed process to conclude that t ...
("String 'em up, I say. It's the only language they understand").
* Sir Hartley Redface, archetypal grasping and unscrupulous barrister, so called presumably for the effects on his appearance of his fondness for fine clarets. Usually pleads before the eminent and eminently out-of-touch Judge Cocklecarrot.
* Polly Filler is a female columnist who constantly describes her dealings with put-upon au pairs and her husband "the useless Simon". Her name is a parody of Polyfilla, a British brand of putty used to repair defects in walls and ceilings.
* E. J. Thribb is an insipid poet, eternally aged 17½.
* Alceste Diocletian Penumbra is a spoof octogenarian poet, often appearing in the Literary Review "What You Didn't Miss Pt. 94". He is described as a leading member of the undeservedly little-known, Cambridge-based "Recherche Group" and hailed both as "the one solitary genius of the post-post-modern age" and "the world's first ante-post-modernist". His anthologies include ''Concrete Faxes'' (his debut), ''Einstein Agogo'', ''Than With Whom What Other (A Challenge to Scansion)'', and ''Shriven by the Zodiac''.
* Snipcock and Tweed is a caricature based on the London publishing firm
Weidenfeld and Nicolson
Weidenfeld & Nicolson Ltd (established 1949), often shortened to W&N or Weidenfeld, is a British publisher of fiction and reference books. It has been a division of the French-owned Orion Publishing Group since 1991.
History
George Weidenfeld ...
The Spectator
''The Spectator'' is a weekly British magazine on politics, culture, and current affairs. It was first published in July 1828, making it the oldest surviving weekly magazine in the world.
It is owned by Frederick Barclay, who also owns ''The ...
'', who describes the joke as "slightly anti-Semitic".
Nicknames, names intentionally misspelled or misstated
People
* Prime Minister Harold Wilson was always named as "Wislon", a name also later applied to A. N. Wilson. Occasionally he was referred to as "Lord Loinwash" an anagram of Harold Wilson.
*
Sir James Goldsmith
Sir James Michael Goldsmith (26 February 1933 – 18 July 1997) was a French-British financier, tycoon''Billionaire: The Life and Times of Sir James Goldsmith'' by Ivan Fallon and politician who was a member of the Goldsmith family.
His contr ...
, a frequent and vindictive litigant, was referred to by a number of nicknames including Sir Jams, Sir Jammy Fishpaste, and Sir James Goldfinger. Goldsmith's short-lived magazine '' Now!'' was renamed ''
Talbot
Talbot was an automobile marque introduced in 1902 by English-French company Clément-Talbot. The founders, Charles Chetwynd-Talbot, 20th Earl of Shrewsbury and Adolphe Clément-Bayard, reduced their financial interests in their Clément-Talbot ...
!''
* Writer Paul Johnson is referred to as "Paul 'Loonybins' Johnson."
*
Robert Maxwell
Ian Robert Maxwell (born Ján Ludvík Hyman Binyamin Hoch; 10 June 1923 – 5 November 1991) was a Czechoslovak-born British media proprietor, member of parliament (MP), suspected spy, and fraudster.
Early in his life, Maxwell escaped from ...
, another perennial litigant against the ''Eye'', was referred to as Cap'n Bob and the Bouncing Czech, the latter apparently conferred by Harold Wilson. Maxwell was a Czech émigré, notably overweight and ebullient (also, a
cheque
A cheque, or check (American English; see spelling differences) is a document that orders a bank (or credit union) to pay a specific amount of money from a person's account to the person in whose name the cheque has been issued. The pers ...
Elizabeth II
Elizabeth II (Elizabeth Alexandra Mary; 21 April 1926 – 8 September 2022) was Queen of the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth realms from 6 February 1952 until her death in 2022. She was queen regnant of 32 sovereign states during ...
was regularly referred to as "Brenda" and
Charles III
Charles III (Charles Philip Arthur George; born 14 November 1948) is King of the United Kingdom and the 14 other Commonwealth realms. He was the longest-serving heir apparent and Prince of Wales and, at age 73, became the oldest person t ...
as "Brian". Historically,
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (born Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark, later Philip Mountbatten; 10 June 1921 – 9 April 2021) was the husband of Queen Elizabeth II. As such, he served as the consort of the British monarch from E ...
was "Keith", Princess Margaret (Brenda's younger sister) was "Yvonne", and Diana, Princess of Wales, was "Cheryl"a satire on the perceived nature of Royal affairs as a
soap opera
A soap opera, or ''soap'' for short, is a typically long-running radio or television serial, frequently characterized by melodrama, ensemble casts, and sentimentality. The term "soap opera" originated from radio dramas originally being sponsored ...
.
* From 1964 until his death,
Sir Alec Douglas-Home
Alexander Frederick Douglas-Home, Baron Home of the Hirsel (; 2 July 1903 – 9 October 1995), styled as Lord Dunglass between 1918 and 1951 and being The 14th Earl of Home from 1951 till 1963, was a British Conservative politician who se ...
was referred to as Baillie Vass, after his photograph was mistakenly captioned as such in the Aberdeen '' Evening Express''.
*
Piers Morgan
Piers Stefan Pughe-Morgan (; né O'Meara; born 30 March 1965) is a British broadcaster, journalist, writer, and television personality. He began his Fleet Street career in 1988 at ''The Sun (United Kingdom), The Sun''. In 1994, aged 29, he was ...
is referred to as Piers Moron (or Piers "Morgan" Moron).
Companies and organisations
*
Capita
Capita plc, commonly known as Capita, is an international business process outsourcing and professional services company headquartered in London.
It is the largest business process outsourcing and professional services company in the United K ...
, a long-term favourite target of ''Private Eye'', is frequently called "Crapita" and "the world's worst outsourcing firm".
* The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs is usually called the "Department for the Elimination/Eradication of Farming and Rural Affairs"; its acronym DEFRA is usually spelt DEFRO (Death Row), and its former long-term minister
Margaret Beckett
Dame Margaret Mary Beckett (''née'' Jackson; born 15 January 1943) is a British politician who has served as the Member of Parliament (MP) for Derby South since 1983. A member of the Labour Party, she became Britain's first female Foreign S ...
is still called
Rosa Klebb
Rosa or De Rosa may refer to:
People
*Rosa (given name)
* Rosa (surname)
*Santa Rosa (female given name from Latin-a latinized variant of Rose)
Places
*223 Rosa, an asteroid
*Rosa, Alabama, a town, United States
*Rosa, Germany, in Thuringia, Ge ...
after the character in the
James Bond
The ''James Bond'' series focuses on a fictional British Secret Service agent created in 1953 by writer Ian Fleming, who featured him in twelve novels and two short-story collections. Since Fleming's death in 1964, eight other authors have ...
Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food
An agriculture ministry (also called an) agriculture department, agriculture board, agriculture council, or agriculture agency, or ministry of rural development) is a ministry charged with agriculture. The ministry is often headed by a minister ...
Tony Blair Faith Foundation
The Tony Blair Faith Foundation was an interfaith charitable foundation established in May 2008 by former British prime minister Tony Blair. Since December 2016 its work has been continued by the Tony Blair Institute for Global Change.
Launch ...
was similarly known as ''Drawing All Faiths Together'', abbreviated to "Daft".
* The defunct Financial Services Authority (FSA), invariably referred to as "The Fundamentally Supine Authority" in reference to its reluctance to act and its seemingly close relationship with the industry it was supposed to regulate, often contrasting its performance with the swift and draconian methods of its
United States
The United States of America (U.S.A. or USA), commonly known as the United States (U.S. or US) or America, is a country primarily located in North America. It consists of 50 states, a federal district, five major unincorporated territori ...
counterparts.
* The FSA's replacement body, the Financial Conduct Authority, is usually referred to as the "Financial Cock-up Authority", or the "Fundamentally Complicit Authority"underlining that it appears to act in a manner little differently from its predecessor.
*
Carter-Ruck
Carter-Ruck is a British law firm founded by Peter Carter-Ruck. The firm specialises in libel, privacy, international law and commercial disputes. The leading legal directories (Legal 500 and Chambers and Partners) rank Carter-Ruck in the to ...
, a prominent firm specialising in libel cases, is almost always referred to as Carter-Fuck.
* The city of
Brighton and Hove
Brighton and Hove () is a city and unitary authority in East Sussex, England. It consists primarily of the settlements of Brighton and Hove, alongside neighbouring villages.
Often referred to synonymously as Brighton, the City of Brighton and H ...
is often referred to as "
Skidrow
A skid row or skid road is an impoverished area, typically urban, in English-speaking North America whose inhabitants are mostly poor people " on the skids". This specifically refers to poor or homeless, considered disreputable, downtrodden or fo ...
-on-Sea" in the "Rotten Boroughs" column.
* The '' Daily Telegraph'' newspaper is usually referred to as the "Torygraph" because of its political leaning towards the
Conservative Party
The Conservative Party is a name used by many political parties around the world. These political parties are generally right-wing though their exact ideologies can range from center-right to far-right.
Political parties called The Conservative P ...
, and as the ''Daily Hellograph'' when satirising its coverage of celebrities.
* ''
The Independent
''The Independent'' is a British online newspaper. It was established in 1986 as a national morning printed paper. Nicknamed the ''Indy'', it began as a broadsheet and changed to tabloid format in 2003. The last printed edition was publish ...
'' is frequently called "The Indescribablyboring".
* ''The Guardian'' newspaper is generally referred to as "The Guardian#References in popular culture, the grauniad", in reference to the paper's reputation for typographical errors and mistakes and its lower-case Masthead (British publishing), masthead logo. Former Editor Alan Rusbridger is usually referred to as "Rubbisher".
* ''The Daily Express'' newspaper has been lampooned as the ''Daily Getsworse''. In previous years, it was called the ''Daily Titsbychristmas'', referring to how it was increasingly copying the style of ''The Sun'', before Express Newspapers launched the down-market ''Daily Star'' in November 1978. Since the 2016 UK EU referendum, in which the ''Express'' supported Leave, it has also been dubbed ''The Daily Brexpress''.
* ''The Sunday Times'' is called "The Sunset Times".
* '' Private Eye'' also frequently referred to itself as "Etavirp Yee"an anagram.
* ''The Evening Standard'' is called "The Evening Boris" for its support of Boris Johnson, particularly during his term as Mayor of London; and possibly also in reference to the paper's Russian owners, Alexander Lebedev and Evgeny Lebedev.
Jibes aimed at individuals
* Historically the ''Eye'' has nicknamed many regular targets for satirical attack. Former Labour Prime Minister Harold Wilson was "Lord Gannex", a name mocking his close association with Joseph Kagan, Baron Kagan, Joseph Kagan, founder of the Gannex raincoat, who received a knighthood and a peerage from Wilson. Wilson was also sometimes called "Wislon", a nickname later transferred to A. N. Wilson, a columnist and writer. TV and radio presenter Robert Robinson (broadcaster), Robert Robinson was "Smuggins", so-called because of a supposedly elevated, condescending air he brought to his programmes and because of his Oxbridge manner. Harold Evans, for many years editor of the ''Sunday Times'', was "Dame Harold Evans", perhaps because of his interview mannerisms, and presumably inspired by Dame Edith Evans. Many others were to follow.
* At one point the magazine printed many letters from a reader named "Ena B. Maxwell", of "Headington Hill Hall, Headington Hall, Oxfordshire", the real-life address of
Robert Maxwell
Ian Robert Maxwell (born Ján Ludvík Hyman Binyamin Hoch; 10 June 1923 – 5 November 1991) was a Czechoslovak-born British media proprietor, member of parliament (MP), suspected spy, and fraudster.
Early in his life, Maxwell escaped from ...
. The letters were written by the ''Private Eye'' editorial team, and the pseudonym was attached to suggest that he was writing to the magazine under an assumed identity. The letters were careful not to make any legally actionable claims, instead containing material that was impertinent or absurd in order to ridicule Maxwell. "Ena" still makes occasional appearances in the letters column with varying surnames. Maxwell himself was "Cap'n Bob", a mocking reference to his ownership of a large yacht and regular appearances in a ship captain's cap, and to his former rank of Captain (British Army and Royal Marines), captain in the British Army.
* Mary Ann Bighead, a parody of journalist Mary Ann Sieghart, often writes columns trumpeting her own brilliance and that of her daughters Brainella and Intelligencia.
* A regular feature of the Letters page is "Photo Opportunity", where correspondents concoct spurious reasons for the magazine to print a particular 1995 photo of journalist Andrew Neil embracing a young woman, often described as Asian or mistaken for former Femina Miss India, Miss India Pamella Bordesthough she is in fact African American. On the photograph's initial printing, it was learned that Neil found the photograph embarrassing, and the ''Eye'' has reprinted it frequently since. Neil has described this as an example of "public school racism" on the part of the magazine's editorial staff, which he found "fascinating". The magazine nicknamed him Brillo, after his wiry hair which is seen as bearing a resemblance to a form of kitchen scouring pad. In addition, it often misspells his surname with an extra L, in reference to Neil's relationship with Pamella Bordes, whose name is written with two Ls.
* "''(Shome mishtake, shurely? Ed)''" is supposedly a blue pencil (editing), blue pencil by the editor, who is slurring a little after lunch. It may have allusions to the late Bill Deedes (Lord Deedes), who did slur that way. He was also the eponymous "Dear Bill" that the fictional Denis Thatcher was forever writing to while his wife Margaret Thatcher, Margaret was in government. These articles were actually written by John Wells (satirist), John Wells.
* "Dirty Des" is the nickname frequently used for former '' Daily Express'' and ''Daily Star (British newspaper), Daily Star'' proprietor Richard Desmond. Stories concerning goings on at Desmond's various publications are printed in most editions of the magazine, the nickname alluding to Desmond's ownership of several pornographic magazine titles and television channels and the supposed contradiction between their content and the "family-orientated" content of his mainstream titles.
* British entrepreneur Richard Branson is referred to by the name "Beardie".
* Media mogul
Rupert Murdoch
Keith Rupert Murdoch ( ; born 11 March 1931) is an Australian-born American business magnate. Through his company News Corp, he is the owner of hundreds of local, national, and international publishing outlets around the world, including ...
gets referred to as the Dirty Digger.
* Evgeny Lebedev, who publishes ''
The Independent
''The Independent'' is a British online newspaper. It was established in 1986 as a national morning printed paper. Nicknamed the ''Indy'', it began as a broadsheet and changed to tabloid format in 2003. The last printed edition was publish ...
'' and ''The Evening Standard'', is frequently referred to as "Two Beards", in an "allusion to his Beard (companion), closeted homosexualitythough one of his former employees suggests that he might not understand exactly what the name means."
* Sarah Vain, a parody of journalist Sarah Vine, writes an egocentric column in which she often refers to the brilliance of her now ex-husband and his likely accession to the role of Prime Minister (Sarah Vine was married to Michael Gove).
* Former Conservative Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne is generally called "Gideon" by the magazine. Osborne was indeed originally named "Gideon", but disliked the name and changed it to "George" as a young man.
Spurious surrealism
Towards the end of each issue, the magazine contains increasingly surreal jokes, references and parodies. Many of these have developed over time, and are thus now very familiar to long-term readers.
* The magazine itself is frequently referred to as an "organ", in the sense of being a periodical publication, but also providing endless possibilities for sexual innuendo.
* Numbered lists are usually shorter than stated and include two final entries of "Er..." and "That's it".
* The number 94 is used as a generic large number, to indicate that something is lengthy and boring. This originated with some articles ending mid-sentence with "(continued page 94)"a page which does not exist, as the organ does not extend to such a length. This has since been expanded to anything else involving a number, e.g. "the awards ceremony, in its 94th year", or spoof transcripts of radio broadcasts which end with "(continued 94 MHz)". Readers' letters offering comment or corrections often begin "May I be the 94th reader to point out ...".
* Phil Space is a fictional journalist. He "writes" articles mainly to fill space on the page, hence his nameand similarly Phil Pages, Phil Airtime (a radio news correspondent) and Philippa Column. The articles are rarely informative or useful and are often completely irrelevant. Such articles may include the byline, "From our correspondent Phil Space". A supposed continental counterpart, Monsieur Phil(-lippe) Espace, is sometimes mentioned when the story has an international background.
* The regular ''Private Eye'' columnist Polly Filler is Phil's female counterpart. Her name refers to Polyfilla, a brand name of spackling paste used to fill in cracks and spaces.
* Trouser presses are another item commonly placed on lists or used in adverts, as an example of pointless extravagance or silly tat.
* ''They Flew to Bruges'' is a fictitious war film that often appears in TV channel listings and reviews. The title refers to the hostility of Margaret Thatcher's later cabinets to the EU and their visits to Europe to argue for lower budgetary contributions by Britain. It is often used to mock the self-importance of anti-EU Tory MPs, particularly of the older school, like William Cash.
* Mr Madeupname. Sometimes used when referring to an improbable interviewee (often) in a tabloid newspaper article.
* ''Grapefruit segments''once a pervasive and deliberately out-of-place component of lists (such as features on new cars), now seldom seen.
* ''Australian'' appears as a colour option on various spoof ads as in "Available in Blue, Black or Australian".
* ''The Sizzler''an alleged fried breakfast for sale at extortionate prices on any train journey mentioned. At the first mention of the Sizzler, the article in which it appeared would be sidelined into a recital of the item's deliciousness.
* ''The Grand Old Duke of York'', based on a children's nursery rhyme, is used to parody current military news, such as cutbacks or scandals. For example, reports may appear that the Duke's 10,000 men are being reduced to 100 and will not be marching up any hills because they have no boots.