Lois Wilson (née Burnham; March 4, 1891 – October 5, 1988), also known as Lois W., was the co-founder of
Al-Anon Family Groups, a 12-Step fellowship for the friends and family of
alcoholics
Alcoholism is, broadly, any drinking of alcohol that results in significant mental or physical health problems. Because there is disagreement on the definition of the word ''alcoholism'', it is not a recognized diagnostic entity. Predomina ...
. She was the wife of
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) co-founder
Bill W. They both followed their respective groups'
tradition
A tradition is a belief or behavior (folk custom) passed down within a group or society with symbolic meaning or special significance with origins in the past. A component of cultural expressions and folklore, common examples include holidays or ...
of anonymity until ''
The New York Times
''The New York Times'' (''the Times'', ''NYT'', or the Gray Lady) is a daily newspaper based in New York City with a worldwide readership reported in 2020 to comprise a declining 840,000 paid print subscribers, and a growing 6 million paid d ...
'' revealed their full names upon Bill's death in 1971. However, she continued to be known as Lois W. within Al-Anon until her death.
Early life and education
Lois was the first of six children born to Matilda Burnham (née Spelman) and
Brooklyn Heights
Brooklyn Heights is a residential neighborhood within the New York City borough of Brooklyn. The neighborhood is bounded by Old Fulton Street near the Brooklyn Bridge on the north, Cadman Plaza West on the east, Atlantic Avenue on the south, ...
New York surgeon Clark Burnham. Lois was raised in the
Swedenborgian faith, of which her grandfather was a pastor. Lois's kindergarten was run by the
Pratt Institute, and after that she attended Friends School. She graduated from the
Packer Collegiate Institute
The Packer Collegiate Institute is an independent college preparatory school for students from pre-kindergarten through grade 12. Formerly the Brooklyn Female Academy, Packer has been located at 170 Joralemon Street in the historic district of Br ...
with a concentration in the fine arts. She had a talent for drawing, and later became an interior decorator. After graduation she worked for the
YWCA
The Young Women's Christian Association (YWCA) is a nonprofit organization with a focus on empowerment, leadership, and rights of women, young women, and girls in more than 100 countries.
The World office is currently based in Geneva, Swi ...
and later taught at a school in
Short Hills, New Jersey
Short Hills is an unincorporated community located within Millburn Township, in Essex County, New Jersey, United States. It is a popular commuter town for residents who work in New York City. As of the 2020 United States Census, the CDP's pop ...
.
[Pace, Eric (October 6, 1988).]
Lois Burnham Wilson, a Founder Of Al-Anon Groups, Is Dead at 97
, ''The New York Times
''The New York Times'' (''the Times'', ''NYT'', or the Gray Lady) is a daily newspaper based in New York City with a worldwide readership reported in 2020 to comprise a declining 840,000 paid print subscribers, and a growing 6 million paid d ...
'', p. B26.
Marriage and career
The Burnham family spent summers in
Vermont
Vermont () is a state in the northeast New England region of the United States. Vermont is bordered by the states of Massachusetts to the south, New Hampshire to the east, and New York to the west, and the Canadian province of Quebec to ...
, where Dr. Burnham provided medical care to vacationers. Rogers Burnham, a younger brother of Lois, became friends with a local boy named Bill Wilson (William Griffith Wilson). Lois and Bill met in the summer of 1914, when Lois was 23 and Bill was 19. At that time, Lois was a college graduate and working with the YWCA. Bill was working his way through
Norwich University. The following summer they secretly became engaged.
![Stepping Stones, Katonah, NY](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a8/Stepping_Stones%2C_Katonah%2C_NY.jpg)
They married on January 24, 1918, in the New York Swedenborgian Church. At that time, Bill was in the Army and they wanted to marry before he was sent to Europe. Lois worked as an occupational therapist during his absence and on and off afterwards. After his return, the couple hoped to start a family, but after
ectopic pregnancies
Ectopic pregnancy is a complication of pregnancy in which the embryo attaches outside the uterus. Signs and symptoms classically include abdominal pain and vaginal bleeding, but fewer than 50 percent of affected women have both of these symptoms ...
she was advised that pregnancy would be dangerous or impossible. Their attempts to adopt children were unsuccessful.
Her marriage to Bill W. began to be challenging due to the combination of a series of ectopic pregnancies and his drinking problem. Lois began to work on programs to help families of alcoholics after Bill had gone through rehabilitation at Towns Hospital in 1934 and cofounded Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in 1935. The same 12-Steps of recovery used by AA were adopted by Al-Anon
Al-Anon
Al-Anon Family Groups, founded in 1951, is an international mutual aid organization for people who have been impacted by another person's alcoholism. In the organization's own words, Al-Anon is a "worldwide fellowship that offers a program of rec ...
or Al-Anon Family Groups.
Her autobiography, ''Lois Remembers'', was published in 1979.
![Lois W headstone at the in the East Dorset Cemetery](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8e/Lois_W_headstone_at_the_in_the_East_Dorset_Cemetery.jpg)
She died in 1988 at age 97, and is buried beside her husband in the East Dorset Cemetery in
East Dorset, Vermont
East Dorset is an unincorporated community and census-designated place (CDP) in the town of Dorset, Bennington County, Vermont, United States. It was first listed as a CDP prior to the 2020 census.
It is in northern Bennington County, in the eas ...
. Without children, she left
Stepping Stones
Stepping stones or stepstones are sets of stones arranged to form an improvised causeway that allows a pedestrian to cross a natural watercourse such as a river; or a water feature in a garden where water is allowed to flow between stone steps. U ...
, the family home, gardens, archives and a writing studio (nicknamed "Wit's End" and "The Shack") on 8.5 acres in
Bedford Hills, New York
Bedford Hills is a hamlet and census-designated place (CDP) in the town of Bedford, Westchester County, New York, United States. The population was 3,001 at the 2010 census.
Two New York State prisons for women, Bedford Hills Correctional F ...
that she and Bill had owned since 1941, to the nonprofit, tax-exempt privately run
Stepping Stones Foundation. She served as Stepping Stones Foundation's first president from 1979 to 1988 and led its programs to increase education, awareness and prevention of alcoholism. Stepping Stones historic site is on the
National Register of Historic Places
The National Register of Historic Places (NRHP) is the United States federal government's official list of districts, sites, buildings, structures and objects deemed worthy of preservation for their historical significance or "great artistic ...
, was designated a National Historic Landmark in October 2012, and has become a tour destination for members of
12-step
Twelve-step programs are international mutual aid programs supporting recovery from substance addictions, behavioral addictions and compulsions. Developed in the 1930s, the first twelve-step program, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), aided its members ...
organizations, history buffs, and scholars and experts from many fields including those interested in alcoholism, history, spirituality, philosophy, pop culture, addiction, democracy and social movements.
Her memoir "Lois Remembers" is published by Al-Anon Family Groups.
In popular culture
A 2010 made-for-TV movie based on her life, ''
When Love Is Not Enough: The Lois Wilson Story'' featuring actress
Winona Ryder
Winona Laura Horowitz (born October 29, 1971), professionally known as Winona Ryder, is an American actress. Originally playing quirky roles, she rose to prominence for her more diverse performances in various genres in the 1990s. She has recei ...
as Lois Wilson, premiered on
Hallmark Hall of Fame on
CBS
CBS Broadcasting Inc., commonly shortened to CBS, the abbreviation of its former legal name Columbia Broadcasting System, is an American commercial broadcast television and radio network serving as the flagship property of the CBS Entertainm ...
April 25, 2010. The film is based on the 2005 book of the same name written by
William G. Borchert, author of the screen play for the 1989 film ''
My Name Is Bill W.'', based on the story of Alcoholics Anonymous founder Bill Wilson, in which she was portrayed by
JoBeth Williams
Margaret JoBeth Williams (born December 6, 1948) is an American actress and television director. Her directorial debut with the 1994 short film ''On Hope'' earned her an Academy Award nomination for Best Live Action Short Film. In 2009 she began ...
.
She was also featured in a 2012 part documentary biographical film ''
Bill W.'', directed by Dan Carracino and Kevin Hanlon.
An excerpt from a letter written by Lois W. and sent to her husband was sampled in the song "Adamord" by American ambient/drone duo
Stars of the Lid
Stars of the Lid is an American ambient music duo consisting of Brian McBride and Adam Wiltzie. The duo formed in Austin, Texas in 1993. They have been acclaimed for their music incorporating droning, effects-treated guitars along with piano, st ...
on the album
Music for Nitrous Oxide.
See also
*
Al-Anon
Al-Anon Family Groups, founded in 1951, is an international mutual aid organization for people who have been impacted by another person's alcoholism. In the organization's own words, Al-Anon is a "worldwide fellowship that offers a program of rec ...
*
Stepping Stones
Stepping stones or stepstones are sets of stones arranged to form an improvised causeway that allows a pedestrian to cross a natural watercourse such as a river; or a water feature in a garden where water is allowed to flow between stone steps. U ...
home of Lois and husband
Bill W.
References
;Other sources
* Borchert, William. ''The Lois Wilson Story: When Love Is Not Enough''.
Hazelden, 2005.
* "Lois's Story", How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics. Virginia Beach, VA: Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., 136–137. .
External links
A short biographyStepping Stones
Bill W. – Famous, Yet Seldom Seen (Photo Feature)''New York Times''
Lois WilsonAA Agnostica
{{DEFAULTSORT:W., Lois
1891 births
1988 deaths
American Swedenborgians
Alcoholics Anonymous
People from Brooklyn Heights
People from Katonah, New York
Activists from New York (state)