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Lois Wilson (née Burnham; March 4, 1891 – October 5, 1988), also known as Lois W., was the co-founder of Al-Anon Family Groups, a 12-Step fellowship for the friends and family of
alcoholics Alcoholism is, broadly, any drinking of alcohol that results in significant mental or physical health problems. Because there is disagreement on the definition of the word ''alcoholism'', it is not a recognized diagnostic entity. Predomina ...
. She was the wife of
Alcoholics Anonymous Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is an international mutual aid fellowship of alcoholics dedicated to abstinence-based recovery from alcoholism through its spiritually-inclined Twelve Step program. Following its Twelve Traditions, AA is non-professi ...
(AA) co-founder Bill W. They both followed their respective groups'
tradition A tradition is a belief or behavior (folk custom) passed down within a group or society with symbolic meaning or special significance with origins in the past. A component of cultural expressions and folklore, common examples include holidays or ...
of anonymity until ''
The New York Times ''The New York Times'' (''the Times'', ''NYT'', or the Gray Lady) is a daily newspaper based in New York City with a worldwide readership reported in 2020 to comprise a declining 840,000 paid print subscribers, and a growing 6 million paid ...
'' revealed their full names upon Bill's death in 1971. However, she continued to be known as Lois W. within Al-Anon until her death.


Early life and education

Lois was the first of six children born to Matilda Burnham (née Spelman) and
Brooklyn Heights Brooklyn Heights is a residential neighborhood within the New York City borough of Brooklyn. The neighborhood is bounded by Old Fulton Street near the Brooklyn Bridge on the north, Cadman Plaza West on the east, Atlantic Avenue on the south, ...
New York surgeon Clark Burnham. Lois was raised in the Swedenborgian faith, of which her grandfather was a pastor. Lois's kindergarten was run by the
Pratt Institute Pratt Institute is a private university with its main campus in Brooklyn, New York (state), New York. It has a satellite campus in Manhattan and an extension campus in Utica, New York at the Munson-Williams-Proctor Arts Institute. The school was ...
, and after that she attended Friends School. She graduated from the
Packer Collegiate Institute The Packer Collegiate Institute is an independent college preparatory school for students from pre-kindergarten through grade 12. Formerly the Brooklyn Female Academy, Packer has been located at 170 Joralemon Street in the historic district of Br ...
with a concentration in the fine arts. She had a talent for drawing, and later became an interior decorator. After graduation she worked for the
YWCA The Young Women's Christian Association (YWCA) is a nonprofit organization with a focus on empowerment, leadership, and rights of women, young women, and girls in more than 100 countries. The World office is currently based in Geneva, Swi ...
and later taught at a school in
Short Hills, New Jersey Short Hills is an unincorporated community located within Millburn Township, in Essex County, New Jersey, United States. It is a popular commuter town for residents who work in New York City. As of the 2020 United States Census, the CDP's pop ...
.Pace, Eric (October 6, 1988).
Lois Burnham Wilson, a Founder Of Al-Anon Groups, Is Dead at 97
, ''
The New York Times ''The New York Times'' (''the Times'', ''NYT'', or the Gray Lady) is a daily newspaper based in New York City with a worldwide readership reported in 2020 to comprise a declining 840,000 paid print subscribers, and a growing 6 million paid ...
'', p. B26.


Marriage and career

The Burnham family spent summers in
Vermont Vermont () is a state in the northeast New England region of the United States. Vermont is bordered by the states of Massachusetts to the south, New Hampshire to the east, and New York to the west, and the Canadian province of Quebec to ...
, where Dr. Burnham provided medical care to vacationers. Rogers Burnham, a younger brother of Lois, became friends with a local boy named Bill Wilson (William Griffith Wilson). Lois and Bill met in the summer of 1914, when Lois was 23 and Bill was 19. At that time, Lois was a college graduate and working with the YWCA. Bill was working his way through
Norwich University Norwich University – The Military College of Vermont is a private senior military college in Northfield, Vermont. It is the oldest private and senior military college in the United States and offers bachelor's and master's degrees on-campus ...
. The following summer they secretly became engaged. They married on January 24, 1918, in the New York Swedenborgian Church. At that time, Bill was in the Army and they wanted to marry before he was sent to Europe. Lois worked as an occupational therapist during his absence and on and off afterwards. After his return, the couple hoped to start a family, but after
ectopic pregnancies Ectopic pregnancy is a complication of pregnancy in which the embryo attaches outside the uterus. Signs and symptoms classically include abdominal pain and vaginal bleeding, but fewer than 50 percent of affected women have both of these symptoms ...
she was advised that pregnancy would be dangerous or impossible. Their attempts to adopt children were unsuccessful. Her marriage to Bill W. began to be challenging due to the combination of a series of ectopic pregnancies and his drinking problem. Lois began to work on programs to help families of alcoholics after Bill had gone through rehabilitation at Towns Hospital in 1934 and cofounded Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in 1935. The same 12-Steps of recovery used by AA were adopted by Al-Anon
Al-Anon Al-Anon Family Groups, founded in 1951, is an international mutual aid organization for people who have been impacted by another person's alcoholism. In the organization's own words, Al-Anon is a "worldwide fellowship that offers a program of rec ...
or Al-Anon Family Groups. Her autobiography, ''Lois Remembers'', was published in 1979. She died in 1988 at age 97, and is buried beside her husband in the East Dorset Cemetery in
East Dorset, Vermont East Dorset is an unincorporated community and census-designated place (CDP) in the town of Dorset, Bennington County, Vermont, United States. It was first listed as a CDP prior to the 2020 census. It is in northern Bennington County, in the east ...
. Without children, she left
Stepping Stones Stepping stones or stepstones are sets of stones arranged to form an improvised causeway that allows a pedestrian to cross a natural watercourse such as a river; or a water feature in a garden where water is allowed to flow between stone steps. U ...
, the family home, gardens, archives and a writing studio (nicknamed "Wit's End" and "The Shack") on 8.5 acres in
Bedford Hills, New York Bedford Hills is a hamlet and census-designated place (CDP) in the town of Bedford, Westchester County, New York, United States. The population was 3,001 at the 2010 census. Two New York State prisons for women, Bedford Hills Correctional F ...
that she and Bill had owned since 1941, to the nonprofit, tax-exempt privately run
Stepping Stones Foundation Stepping may refer to: * Walking, one of the main gaits of locomotion among legged animals Computing * Stepping level, an aspect of microprocessor version designation * Stepping (debugging), a method of debugging Dance * Chicago stepping, ...
. She served as Stepping Stones Foundation's first president from 1979 to 1988 and led its programs to increase education, awareness and prevention of alcoholism. Stepping Stones historic site is on the
National Register of Historic Places The National Register of Historic Places (NRHP) is the United States federal government's official list of districts, sites, buildings, structures and objects deemed worthy of preservation for their historical significance or "great artistic v ...
, was designated a National Historic Landmark in October 2012, and has become a tour destination for members of 12-step organizations, history buffs, and scholars and experts from many fields including those interested in alcoholism, history, spirituality, philosophy, pop culture, addiction, democracy and social movements. Her memoir "Lois Remembers" is published by Al-Anon Family Groups.


In popular culture

A 2010 made-for-TV movie based on her life, '' When Love Is Not Enough: The Lois Wilson Story'' featuring actress
Winona Ryder Winona Laura Horowitz (born October 29, 1971), professionally known as Winona Ryder, is an American actress. Originally playing quirky roles, she rose to prominence for her more diverse performances in various genres in the 1990s. She has recei ...
as Lois Wilson, premiered on
Hallmark Hall of Fame ''Hallmark Hall of Fame'', originally called ''Hallmark Television Playhouse'', is an anthology program on American television, sponsored by Hallmark Cards, a Kansas City-based greeting card company. The longest-running prime-time series in t ...
on
CBS CBS Broadcasting Inc., commonly shortened to CBS, the abbreviation of its former legal name Columbia Broadcasting System, is an American commercial broadcast television and radio network serving as the flagship property of the CBS Entertainm ...
April 25, 2010. The film is based on the 2005 book of the same name written by
William G. Borchert William G. Borchert (September 9, 1933 – October 1, 2022) was an American screenwriter and author who wrote the script for the 1989 film '' My Name is Bill W.,'' based on the true story of Alcoholics Anonymous founder Bill Wilson. Borchert w ...
, author of the screen play for the 1989 film '' My Name Is Bill W.'', based on the story of Alcoholics Anonymous founder Bill Wilson, in which she was portrayed by
JoBeth Williams Margaret JoBeth Williams (born December 6, 1948) is an American actress and television director. Her directorial debut with the 1994 short film ''On Hope'' earned her an Academy Award nomination for Best Live Action Short Film. In 2009 she began ...
. She was also featured in a 2012 part documentary biographical film '' Bill W.'', directed by Dan Carracino and Kevin Hanlon. An excerpt from a letter written by Lois W. and sent to her husband was sampled in the song "Adamord" by American ambient/drone duo
Stars of the Lid Stars of the Lid is an American ambient music duo consisting of Brian McBride and Adam Wiltzie. The duo formed in Austin, Texas in 1993. They have been acclaimed for their music incorporating droning, effects-treated guitars along with piano, st ...
on the album
Music for Nitrous Oxide ''Music for Nitrous Oxide'' is the first studio album released by Stars of the Lid on Sedimental Records in 1995. The album features minimal, droning compositions of varying length. The press release from Sedimental Records read: “Sedimental a ...
.


See also

*
Al-Anon Al-Anon Family Groups, founded in 1951, is an international mutual aid organization for people who have been impacted by another person's alcoholism. In the organization's own words, Al-Anon is a "worldwide fellowship that offers a program of rec ...
*
Stepping Stones Stepping stones or stepstones are sets of stones arranged to form an improvised causeway that allows a pedestrian to cross a natural watercourse such as a river; or a water feature in a garden where water is allowed to flow between stone steps. U ...
home of Lois and husband Bill W.


References

;Other sources * Borchert, William. ''The Lois Wilson Story: When Love Is Not Enough''.
Hazelden The Hazelden Foundation is an American non-profit organization based in Center City, Minnesota. Hazelden has alcohol and drug treatment facilities in Minnesota, Oregon, Illinois, Florida, Washington, and New York. It offers assessment and pri ...
, 2005. * "Lois's Story", How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics. Virginia Beach, VA: Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., 136–137. .


External links


A short biography
Stepping Stones
Bill W. – Famous, Yet Seldom Seen (Photo Feature)
''New York Times''
Lois Wilson
AA Agnostica {{DEFAULTSORT:W., Lois 1891 births 1988 deaths American Swedenborgians Alcoholics Anonymous People from Brooklyn Heights People from Katonah, New York Activists from New York (state)