"Last Will and Temperament" (also known as "Boot to the Head" or "Mr. Muldoon's Will") is a comedy skit performed by the Canadian comedy troupe The Frantics on their CBC radio series "Frantic Times". It appears on their 1984 album of the same name. The sketch introduced the phrase "boot to the head" that would become their catchphrase, appearing in the sketch " Ti Kwan Leep" three years later in their album ''

Boot to the Head ''Boot to the Head'' is a comedy album performed by the Canadian comedy troupe The Frantics. Originally released as an LP in 1987, it was re-issued in 1996 as a CD with the same track listing. The album features a number of skits from their radi ...

''.

Premise

The premise is that the last will of Arthur Durham Muldoon is being read, by a lawyer, to Muldoon's overly emotional sister Jenny, her timid husband Hank, his drunken brother Hedge, his know-it-all-nephew Ralston, and Muldoon's caretaker Mrs. Mulroy. All are present for this reading and everyone thinks they are getting a piece of his fortune, but as the will is read aloud, they learn that Muldoon has only bequeathed them a "boot to the head" (with the exception of Hedge, who also receives three crates of whiskey and the contents of Muldoon's wine cellar), the lawyer character kicking them physically in the head (illustrated with a

prop A prop, formally known as (theatrical) property, is an object used on stage or screen by actors during a performance or screen production. In practical terms, a prop is considered to be anything movable or portable on a stage or a set, distinct ...

leg hitting them from off screen). Every attending member, including Muldoon's cat, receives a boot to the head, though Jenny and Hank each receive an additional boot for every "inheritance" bequeathed per Muldoon's order. Muldoon leaves not a boot to the head to his lawyer, but a rabid

Tasmanian devil The Tasmanian devil (''Sarcophilus harrisii'') (palawa kani: purinina) is a carnivorous marsupial of the family Dasyuridae. Until recently, it was only found on the island state of Tasmania, but it has been reintroduced to New South Wales in ...

down his trousers, and in the midst of this, announces that Mr. Muldoon's entire CDN $10 million fortune will be given to the city of Calgary, Alberta "so they can afford to move somewhere decent." Finally, the lawyer announces that Muldoon is leaving them each a lifetime supply of

ice cream Ice cream is a sweetened frozen food typically eaten as a snack or dessert. It may be made from milk or cream and is flavoured with a sweetener, either sugar or an alternative, and a spice, such as cocoa or vanilla, or with fruit such as str ...

, to which Mrs. Mulroy asks "What flavor is it?" The lawyer replies "Boot to the head!" and each receives one final kick. Sometimes, when this airs on

Dr. Demento Barret Eugene Hansen (born April 2, 1941), known professionally as Dr. Demento, is an American radio broadcaster and record collector specializing in novelty songs, comedy, and strange or unusual recordings dating from the early days of phonograp ...

's radio program, it is followed by the theme song "

" from said 1987 album.

Cast

Paul Chato Paul Chato is a Canadian comedian and writer, the president of a web design company, and a former television executive. He was born in 1954 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, to Hungarian parents. Chato grew up in the first planned community in North A ...

- Lawyer * Rick Green - Ralston *

Dan Redican Dan Redican (born 1956 in Toronto, Ontario) is a Canadian comedy writer and performer and puppeteer, best known for his work with the comedy troupe, '' The Frantics.'' As a founding member of the troupe he has worked since 1979 on numerous stage ...

- Hedge *

Peter Wildman Peter Wildman (born December 29, 1954) is a Canadian actor, voice actor, musician, writer and member of the Frantics comedy troupe. He appeared as Buzz Sherwood on ''The Red Green Show'', and voiced Mojo in '' X-Men: The Animated Series'' and Mr ...

- Hank *Carolyn Scott (guest star) - Jenny, Ms. Mulroy

Television version

The television version, as seen in the second episode of their

CBC Television CBC Television (also known as CBC TV) is a Canadian English-language broadcast television network owned by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, the national public broadcaster. The network began operations on September 6, 1952. Its French-l ...

series ''

Four on the Floor ''Four on the Floor'' is a 1999 compilation album consisting of songs by bands on Panic Button Records. It features four tracks by four of the labels bands, Screeching Weasel, Moral Crux A moral (from Latin ''morālis'') is a message that is c ...

'' (known as "The Frantics" outside Canada) is one minute shorter than the radio and album version, and does not include the wine cellar for Hedge (just the three cases of whiskey) nor does it include the nephew Ralston, the Tasmanian Devil joke or the ice cream punchline. Additionally, Rick Green dresses in drag to play Ms. Mulroy and Jenny's husband is renamed Chester.

References

{{Reflist , refs= {{cite news , title = A Frantics approach to comedy , first = Chris , last = Clay , url = http://www.mississauga.com/article/18744 , newspaper =

The Mississauga News ''The Mississauga News'' is a local tabloid newspaper in Mississauga, Ontario. ''The Mississauga News'' is part of Metroland Media Group, a subsidiary of Torstar. In addition to the biweekly print edition, the newspaper also operates a website i ...

, publisher = Ken Nugent , location =

Mississauga, Ontario Mississauga ( ), historically known as Toronto Township, is a city in the Canadian province of Ontario. It is situated on the shores of Lake Ontario in the Regional Municipality of Peel, adjoining the western border of Toronto. With a popul ...

, issn = 0834-6585 , oclc = 290997481 , date = February 26, 2008 , accessdate = , archiveurl = , archivedate =

External links

The Frantics web site

The "Four on the Floor" version of "Last Will and Temperament"

Canadian comedy Comedy sketches