John McIlwraith (died 30 June 2006) was a Scottish-

Canadian Canadians (french: Canadiens) are people identified with the country of Canada. This connection may be residential, legal, historical or cultural. For most Canadians, many (or all) of these connections exist and are collectively the source of ...

humorist, radio broadcaster, newspaper columnist, and commentator.

Early life and career

McIlwraith was born in

Glasgow Glasgow ( ; sco, Glesca or ; gd, Glaschu ) is the most populous city in Scotland and the fourth-most populous city in the United Kingdom, as well as being the 27th largest city by population in Europe. In 2020, it had an estimated popul ...

, Scotland, but moved to

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, as a young adult. His jobs included working as a coal-stoker on a

ferry A ferry is a ship, watercraft or amphibious vehicle used to carry passengers, and sometimes vehicles and cargo, across a body of water. A passenger ferry with many stops, such as in Venice, Italy, is sometimes called a water bus or water taxi ...

operated by the

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. McIlwraith hosted a morning radio program in

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and wrote columns for newspapers and magazines. From 1990 to 2001, he recorded commentaries for

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All Things Considered ''All Things Considered'' (''ATC'') is the flagship news program on the American network National Public Radio (NPR). It was the first news program on NPR, premiering on May 3, 1971. It is broadcast live on NPR affiliated stations in the United ...

. After

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announced that it would begin offering a degree in the playing of

bagpipes Bagpipes are a woodwind instrument using enclosed reeds fed from a constant reservoir of air in the form of a bag. The Great Highland bagpipes are well known, but people have played bagpipes for centuries throughout large parts of Europe, No ...

, McIlwraith commented that the bagpipe was created as an instrument of war, and should not be treated as a musical instrument. McIlwraith said: :''The Scots are a race not noted for their music. The favorite instrument in Scotland is the piano accordion, followed by the fiddle. The next favorite would be the harmonica. Even the Scots consider the bagpipes to be an instrument of torture, of warfare, its practitioners huge, red-faced farmer types who have switched from pig sticking to bagpipe playing.'' :''Bagpipes are a strange instrument. The only reason they were invented is the Scots needed some kind of noise to rally the clans when the English crossed the border. They could have bought a bell or a whistle, but being a thrifty people they took a

pig's bladder Pig bladder (also pig's bladder) is the urinary bladder of a domestic pig, similar to the human urinary bladder. Today, this hollow organ has various applications in medicine, and in traditional cuisines and customs. Historically, the pig bladder ...

and stuck a reed in it and the rest is history. For some reason, great masses of people have mistaken bagpipes for a musical instrument.'' After each commentary, the "All Things Considered" host noted that McIlwraith lived on a

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. Other commentaries by McIlwraith included: * ''Doing It in the Closet'' (20 December 2007): Part of "Tinsel Tales," a series of Christmas stories. * ''Jesse the Incorrigible: My Grandson'' (30 December 1997): Recounting his experiences with a grandson suffering from

attention deficit disorder Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterised by excessive amounts of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity that are pervasive, impairing in multiple contexts, and otherwise Development ...

. * ''A Party for an Endangered Organ'' (27 March 2001): Recorded just before undergoing surgery for stomach cancer. McIlwraith's death resulted from complications arising from Lewy dementia. He was married twice. He and his first wife, Bridie, and his second wife, Dixie, had four children altogether. Years after McIlwraith's death, his brother-in-law wrote a column for the Chicago Reader questioning whether McIlwraith's stories were strictly factua

References

* https://www.npr.org/2006/07/03/5531049/remembering-john-mcilwraith-a-scottish-wit * https://www.npr.org/transcripts/5531049 {{DEFAULTSORT:Mcilwraith, John 2006 deaths Canadian radio personalities Scottish emigrants to Canada Year of birth missing