''J-Men Forever'', originally titled "The Secret World War", is a 1979 comedy film by

Philip Proctor Philip Proctor (born 1940) is an American actor, comedian and a member of the Firesign Theatre. He has performed voice-over work for video games, films and television series. Career Of the four members of Firesign Theatre, Proctor has had ...

and Peter Bergman of the

Firesign Theatre The Firesign Theatre (also known as the Firesigns) was an American surreal comedy troupe who first appeared on November 17, 1966, in a live performance on the Los Angeles radio program ''Radio Free Oz'' on station KPFK FM. They continued ap ...

. The film is a pastiche using film clips from Republic serials, re-dubbed with comic dialog to tell a tale of world conquest by sex, drugs and rock and roll.

Summary

In the film, the ''Lightning Bug'', embodied by garish villains from several serials, attempts to take over the world with rock and roll. He later adds sex and drugs when music alone doesn't work. He explains his changing appearance by saying, "I'm bringing all five of my costumes!" The Lightning Bug is voiced by legendary radio DJ M.G. Kelly (also called "Machine Gun" Kelly). Peter Bergman plays ''The Chief'' and Philip Proctor plays ''Agent Barton''. They appear in period-style black and white sequences that are used to frame the re-dubbed clips of car chases, explosions, flying men, sinister villains and villainesses, fights, and various other perils that are strung together in a somewhat incoherent plot.

Plot

The Bug's first victims are square record moguls Lawrence Milk and Jive Davis, who are hypnotized or otherwise prodded into killing themselves, and bandleader 'Screen' Dorsey, whose car is booby trapped and then run off a cliff. The Bug, his henchmen and henchwomen (including the villainess Sombra) are opposed by the J-Men, a group of government agents hired by the legendary J. Eager Believer. Besides the Chief and his bumbling sidekick, Agent Barton, the J-Men include Agents Spike, Claire and Lance, Buzz Cufflink, Yank Smellfinger, James Armhole, Rocket Jock (clips of

Commando Cody Commando Cody is the hero in two 12-chapter science fiction serials made by Republic Pictures, played by George Wallace in ''Radar Men from the Moon'' (1952) and Judd Holdren in '' Commando Cody: Sky Marshal of the Universe'' (1953). ''Zombi ...

from ''

Radar Men from the Moon ''Radar Men from the Moon'' is a 1952 black-and-white Republic Pictures' 12-chapter movie serial, the first Commando Cody serial starring newcomer George Wallace as Cody, Aline Towne as his sidekick Joan Gilbert, and serial veteran Roy Barcroft ...

''), the Lone Star (clips from '' Captain America''), the Caped Madman (clips of Captain Marvel from '' Adventures of Captain Marvel''; who transforms by using the phrase "

Sh-Boom "Sh-Boom" (sometimes referred to as "Life Could Be a Dream") is an early doo-wop song by the R&B vocal group The Chords. It was written by James Keyes, Claude Feaster, Carl Feaster, Floyd F. McRae, and William Edwards, members of The Chords, a ...

"), Spy Swatter (clips from ''

Spy Smasher Spy Smasher is the name of two fictional characters appearing in comics published by Fawcett and DC Comics. The first is a superhero that was formerly owned and published by Fawcett Comics. The second is a female anti-terrorism government agent, ...

''), Sleeve Coat, Juicy Withers, and Admiral Balzy. Many of them appear to die horrible, inescapable deaths in the course of the film. The J-Men work in cooperation with the F.C.C. (Federal Culture Control), opposing the Lightning Bug with Muzac (created by M.U.S.A.C., the Military Underground Sugared Airwaves Command), then with a bomb to blow up the Lightning Bug's base on the Moon. However, the Lightning Bug beats them to it, by turning his stereo up too loud and blowing up the Moon himself (and all of

New York City New York, often called New York City or NYC, is the most populous city in the United States. With a 2020 population of 8,804,190 distributed over , New York City is also the most densely populated major city in the Un ...

in the process, which the J-Men consider a "double victory"). At the end of the film, Agent Barton mournfully recites the list of J-Men who supposedly gave their lives in the epic struggle against the Bug. The Chief laughs, then starts choking on a cigar he is smoking. After he stops choking, The Chief points out that J-Men are flexible enough to survive any life-threatening situation, and the final clips (from the following week's edition of the serial) show exactly how each J-Man escaped their particular peril.

Soundtrack

The movie's

classic rock Classic rock is a US radio format which developed from the album-oriented rock (AOR) format in the early 1980s. In the United States, the classic rock format comprises rock music ranging generally from the mid-1960s through the mid 1990s, prima ...

soundtrack A soundtrack is recorded music accompanying and synchronised to the images of a motion picture, drama, book, television program, radio program, or video game; a commercially released soundtrack album of music as featured in the soundtrack ...

features music from Budgie,

The Tubes The Tubes are a San Francisco-based rock band. Their eponymous 1975 debut album included the single "White Punks on Dope," while their 1983 single " She's a Beauty" was a top-10 U.S. hit and its music video was frequently played in the early d ...

Head East Head East is an American rock band, originally from East Central Illinois. The band was formed by vocalist John Schlitt, guitarist Danny Piper, keyboardist Roger Boyd, bassist Larry Boyd, and drummer Steve Huston. They met and formed the ba ...

and Billy Preston.

Release

The film did not get notice during its theatrical run, but two years afterwards was popular enough when it was brought up by International Harmony head Stuart Shapiro on the

USA Network USA Network (simply USA) is an American basic cable television channel owned by the NBCUniversal Television and Streaming division of Comcast's NBCUniversal through NBCUniversal Cable Entertainment. It was originally launched in 1977 as Madison ...

show '' Night Flight'' to the point of a cult following. It was released on DVD November 19, 2002 by Cult DVD.DVD Savant Review
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References

External links