"I Admit" is a 19-minute song by American singer
R. Kelly
Robert Sylvester Kelly (born January 8, 1967) is an American singer, songwriter, record producer, and sex offender convicted of racketeering and multiple sex offenses.
During his recording career, Kelly sold over 75 million records worldwi ...
.
Released on
SoundCloud
SoundCloud is an online audio distribution platform and music sharing website that enables its users to upload, promote, and share audio. Founded in 2007 by Alexander Ljung and Eric Wahlforss, SoundCloud is one of the largest music streaming s ...
on July 23, 2018,
the song addresses the singer's
sexual abuse scandals.
"I Admit" was written by Kelly and Raphael Ramos Oliveira,
and produced by Kelly and Noc.
The release of "I Admit" followed a 2017 ''
BuzzFeed News'' investigative report that alleged that Kelly operated a "
sex cult
Sex trafficking is human trafficking for the purpose of sexual exploitation. It has been called a form of modern slavery because of the way victims are forced into sexual acts non-consensually, in a form of sexual slavery. Perpetrators of the c ...
", and a
2018 boycott of Kelly backed by
Time's Up. In "I Admit", Kelly makes a number of confessions, including that he is
dyslexic,
that he has been
sexually unfaithful,
and that he was
rape
Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without their consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or ...
d.
Kelly does not make any
criminal admissions, but instead denies allegations of
domestic violence and
pedophilia
Pedophilia ( alternatively spelt paedophilia) is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children. Although girls typically begin the process of puberty ...
. The lyrics rebuke
Jim DeRogatis
James Peter DeRogatis (born September 2, 1964) is an American music critic and co-host of '' Sound Opinions''. DeRogatis has written articles for magazines such as ''Rolling Stone'', '' Spin'', '' Guitar World'' and ''Modern Drummer'', and for ...
for his ''BuzzFeed News'' report, and disavow the report's allegations that Kelly is in charge of a "sex cult".
Critics reviewed "I Admit" unfavorably. Some reviewers contrasted the title with the lack of criminal admissions in the lyrics, and described the song as an act of
trolling
In slang, a troll is a person who posts or makes inflammatory, insincere, digressive, extraneous, or off-topic messages online (such as in social media, a newsgroup, a forum, a chat room, a online video game), or in real life, with the i ...
. The song was compared to Kelly's
rap opera ''
Trapped in the Closet
''Trapped in the Closet'' is a musical film, musical soap opera series by American contemporary R&B, R&B singer, songwriter & producer R. Kelly, with 33 "chapters" released sporadically from 2005 to 2012. Written, produced, and directed by Kelly, ...
'' and
O. J. Simpson's book ''
If I Did It
''If I Did It'' is a book by O. J. Simpson and Pablo Fenjves, in which Simpson puts forth a “hypothetical” description of the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Simpson's former manager, Norman Pardo, claimed that Simpson was ...
'', which addressed Simpson’s allegations of
murder. Reviewers noted that Kelly's lyrics more closely resemble a
self-defense
Self-defense (self-defence primarily in Commonwealth English) is a countermeasure that involves defending the health and well-being of oneself from harm. The use of the right of self-defense as a legal justification for the use of force ...
than an admission or ''
mea culpa
' is a Latin phrase that means "my fault" or "my mistake" and is an acknowledgement of having done wrong. The expression is used also as an admission of having made a mistake that should have been avoided, and may be accompanied by beating the br ...
''.
The release of "I Admit" led to a response from DeRogatis, who defended his journalism in two interviews. R. Kelly's ex-wife,
Andrea Kelly, and brother, Carey Killa Kelly, released songs in response to "I Admit" that contain additional allegations against R. Kelly. The song also attracted criticism on
social media
Social media are interactive media technologies that facilitate the creation and sharing of information, ideas, interests, and other forms of expression through virtual communities and networks. While challenges to the definition of ''social medi ...
.
Background and release
"I Admit" is Kelly's first release since his 2016 holiday album, ''
12 Nights of Christmas''.
In July 2017,
Jim DeRogatis
James Peter DeRogatis (born September 2, 1964) is an American music critic and co-host of '' Sound Opinions''. DeRogatis has written articles for magazines such as ''Rolling Stone'', '' Spin'', '' Guitar World'' and ''Modern Drummer'', and for ...
contributed an article to ''
BuzzFeed News'' detailing legal investigations from three families regarding their daughters' alleged
kidnappings after they established relationships with Kelly. The article characterized Kelly's operations as a "
cult", and included interviews with three of Kelly's former associates.
However, both Kelly
and the daughters
refuted the claims.
In April 2018, the
Women of Color
The term "person of color" ( : people of color or persons of color; abbreviated POC) is primarily used to describe any person who is not considered "white". In its current meaning, the term originated in, and is primarily associated with, the U ...
branch of the
Time's Up movement announced their support for the
Mute R. Kelly social media
Social media are interactive media technologies that facilitate the creation and sharing of information, ideas, interests, and other forms of expression through virtual communities and networks. While challenges to the definition of ''social medi ...
campaign, which advocated for
music venues to cancel Kelly's concert dates and for
Sony Music
Sony Music Entertainment (SME), also known as simply Sony Music, is an American multinational music company. Being owned by the parent conglomerate Sony Group Corporation, it is part of the Sony Music Group, which is owned by Sony Entertainme ...
to terminate Kelly's
recording contract.
The organization published a demand on ''
The Root
"The Root" is a song by American recording artist D'Angelo. It is the eighth track on his second studio album, ''Voodoo'', which was released on January 25, 2000, by Virgin Records. "The Root" was recorded and produced by D'Angelo at New York's ...
'' for
RCA Records
RCA Records is an American record label currently owned by Sony Music Entertainment, a subsidiary of Sony Corporation of America. It is one of Sony Music's four flagship labels, alongside RCA's former long-time rival Columbia Records; also A ...
,
Ticketmaster
Ticketmaster Entertainment, Inc. is an American ticket sales and distribution company based in Beverly Hills, California with operations in many countries around the world. In 2010, it merged with Live Nation under the name Live Nation Enter ...
,
Spotify
Spotify (; ) is a proprietary Swedish audio streaming and media services provider founded on 23 April 2006 by Daniel Ek and Martin Lorentzon. It is one of the largest music streaming service providers, with over 456 million monthly active us ...
,
Apple Music
Apple Music is a music, audio and video streaming service developed by Apple Inc. Users select music to stream to their device on-demand, or they can listen to existing playlists. The service also includes the Internet radio stations Apple M ...
, and the
Greensboro Coliseum Complex
The Greensboro Coliseum Complex, commonly referred to as Greensboro Coliseum (the first and biggest building on the site), is an entertainment and sports complex located in Greensboro, North Carolina. Opened in 1959, the complex holds eight venu ...
to end their business relationships with Kelly. Spotify removed Kelly's music from their
playlists after introducing a "
hate content and hateful conduct" policy in May 2018, but rescinded the policy in June 2018 after people in the
music industry, including
Kendrick Lamar
Kendrick Lamar Duckworth (born June 17, 1987) is an American rapper and songwriter. Known for his progressive musical styles and socially conscious songwriting, he is often considered one of the most influential hip hop artists of his generat ...
's representative, accused the company of
censorship
Censorship is the suppression of speech, public communication, or other information. This may be done on the basis that such material is considered objectionable, harmful, sensitive, or "inconvenient". Censorship can be conducted by governments ...
.
"I Admit" was released on the
SoundCloud
SoundCloud is an online audio distribution platform and music sharing website that enables its users to upload, promote, and share audio. Founded in 2007 by Alexander Ljung and Eric Wahlforss, SoundCloud is one of the largest music streaming s ...
account of Julius Darrington, CEO of the AudioDream
record label
A record label, or record company, is a brand or trademark of music recordings and music videos, or the company that owns it. Sometimes, a record label is also a publishing company that manages such brands and trademarks, coordinates the produ ...
, on July 23, 2018.
RCA Records
RCA Records is an American record label currently owned by Sony Music Entertainment, a subsidiary of Sony Corporation of America. It is one of Sony Music's four flagship labels, alongside RCA's former long-time rival Columbia Records; also A ...
, Kelly's primary label, did not confirm whether they were associated with the song.
Kelly promoted the release with a post, "Today is the day you've been waiting for", across
Facebook
Facebook is an online social media and social networking service owned by American company Meta Platforms. Founded in 2004 by Mark Zuckerberg with fellow Harvard College students and roommates Eduardo Saverin, Andrew McCollum, Dustin Mosk ...
,
Twitter
Twitter is an online social media and social networking service owned and operated by American company Twitter, Inc., on which users post and interact with 280-character-long messages known as "tweets". Registered users can post, like, and ...
, and
Instagram.
After the January 2019 broadcast of ''
Surviving R. Kelly'', Kelly appeared in a ''
CBS This Morning
''CBS This Morning'' (''CTM'') is an American morning television program that aired on CBS from November 30, 1987, to October 29, 1999, and again from January 9, 2012, to September 6, 2021. The program was aired from Monday through Saturday. ...
'' interview on March 8, 2019, in which
Gayle King
Gayle King (born December 28, 1954) is an American television personality, author and broadcast journalist for CBS News, co-hosting its flagship morning program, '' CBS Mornings'', and before that its predecessor ''CBS This Morning''. She is ...
asked him whether "I Admit" was his "way of
confessing". Kelly responded, "That question makes no sense, no offense, but what I'm saying is this: 'I Admit' was me expressing my feelings about the things I was going through. If you're listening to it, you can hear exactly what I'm admitting."
Lyrics
In "I Admit", Kelly admits to various acts, including
dropping out
Dropping out refers to leaving high school, college, university or another group for practical reasons, necessities, inability, apathy, or disillusionment with the system from which the individual in question leaves.
Canada
In Canada, most ind ...
of high school and not
attending church.
Kelly claims to be
dyslexic, and asserts that his
inability to read his
recording contract caused him to forfeit
publishing rights A publishing contract is a legal contract between a publisher and a writer or author (or more than one), to publish original content by the writer(s) or author(s). This may involve a single written work, or a series of works.
In the case of music p ...
to his music,
which contributed to Kelly's financial troubles, including his $20million tax debt to the
Internal Revenue Service.
In the song, Kelly confesses that he was
sexually unfaithful and frequented
strip clubs.
Kelly reveals that he lost his
virginity
Virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse. The term ''virgin'' originally only referred to sexually inexperienced women, but has evolved to encompass a range of definitions, as found in traditional, modern ...
in his childhood when he was
rape
Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without their consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or ...
d by an older female family member,
elaborating on the disclosures from his 2012
autobiography, ''
Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me''.
Despite the song's title and Kelly's repetition of the lyric "I admit it, I did it" in the
chorus,
"I Admit" does not contain any
criminal admissions.
Kelly denies accusations of
domestic violence, involvement in a "
sex cult
Sex trafficking is human trafficking for the purpose of sexual exploitation. It has been called a form of modern slavery because of the way victims are forced into sexual acts non-consensually, in a form of sexual slavery. Perpetrators of the c ...
", and
pedophilia
Pedophilia ( alternatively spelt paedophilia) is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children. Although girls typically begin the process of puberty ...
in his lyrics,
dismissing them as matters of
opinion.
Kelly does not admit
guilt
Guilt may refer to:
*Guilt (emotion), an emotion that occurs when a person feels that they have violated a moral standard
*Culpability, a legal term
*Guilt (law), a legal term
Music
* ''Guilt'' (album), a 2009 album by Mims
* "Guilt" (The Long Bl ...
regarding the 2008
acquittal of his
sex tape allegations, but maintains that he has been "
falsely accused"
and sings that his lawyer advised him to "don't say
noth'".
Although Kelly admits to
casual sex
Casual sex is sexual activity that takes place outside a romantic relationship and implies an absence of commitment, emotional attachment, or familiarity between sexual partners. Examples are sexual activity while casually dating, one-night ...
with "both older and young ladies", he states that all of them were "
over age".
The lyrics denounce DeRogatis for profiting from his reports of Kelly's scandals,
and
John Legend
John Roger Stephens (born December 28, 1978), known professionally as John Legend, is an American singer, songwriter, pianist, and record producer. He began his musical career by working behind the scenes, playing piano on Lauryn Hill's " Eve ...
,
Steve Harvey
Broderick Stephen Harvey Sr. Also aired August 16, 2015. (born January 17, 1957) is an American television host, producer, actor, and comedian. He hosts '' The Steve Harvey Morning Show'', '' Family Feud'', ''Celebrity Family Feud,'' the Miss ...
, and
Tom Joyner
Thomas Joyner (born November 23, 1949) is an American retired radio host, former host of the nationally syndicated ''The Tom Joyner Morning Show'', and also founder of Reach Media Inc., the Tom Joyner Foundation, and BlackAmericaWeb.com.
Early l ...
for refusing to publicly defend Kelly from his accusers.
In response to the
Mute R. Kelly campaign,
Kelly sings, "only
God
In monotheistic thought, God is usually viewed as the supreme being, creator, and principal object of faith. Swinburne, R.G. "God" in Honderich, Ted. (ed)''The Oxford Companion to Philosophy'', Oxford University Press, 1995. God is typically ...
can mute me".
Kelly expresses support for a "women's group",
but also exclaims that "they
tryna lock me up like Bill", referring to
Bill Cosby
William Henry Cosby Jr. ( ; born July 12, 1937) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and media personality. He made significant contributions to American and African-American culture, and is well known in the United States for his eccentric ...
, who at the time was awaiting
incarceration after his April 2018
sexual assault convictions.
Kelly finishes the song by telling the audience to "stay the fuck out of my business",
and inviting his hometown of
Chicago
(''City in a Garden''); I Will
, image_map =
, map_caption = Interactive Map of Chicago
, coordinates =
, coordinates_footnotes =
, subdivision_type = Country
, subdivision_name ...
to use his image as inspiration for city youth.
Critical reception
Several reviewers characterized "I Admit" as an act of
trolling
In slang, a troll is a person who posts or makes inflammatory, insincere, digressive, extraneous, or off-topic messages online (such as in social media, a newsgroup, a forum, a chat room, a online video game), or in real life, with the i ...
, since the name of the song overstates the magnitude of the admissions contained within the lyrics.
Elyse Wanshel of ''
HuffPost
''HuffPost'' (formerly ''The Huffington Post'' until 2017 and sometimes abbreviated ''HuffPo'') is an American progressive news website, with localized and international editions. The site offers news, satire, blogs, and original content, and ...
'' noted similarities between this song and ''
If I Did It
''If I Did It'' is a book by O. J. Simpson and Pablo Fenjves, in which Simpson puts forth a “hypothetical” description of the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Simpson's former manager, Norman Pardo, claimed that Simpson was ...
'', a book by
O. J. Simpson that contains a hypothetical description of the alleged murder in
Simpson's murder case. Writing for ''
The Daily Beast
''The Daily Beast'' is an American news website focused on politics, media, and pop culture. It was founded in 2008.
It has been characterized as a "high-end tabloid" by Noah Shachtman, the site's editor-in-chief from 2018 to 2021. In a 20 ...
'', Stereo Williams described the song as "20 minutes of defensive rambling and R. Kelly
nailing himself to a cross". Williams asserted that Kelly "
paints himself as the victim: the victim of the media, of sycophants, of his childhood abuser, of his own illiteracy" while "baiting his critics with a number of shockingly brazen lyrical references to his behavior".
In a review for ''
The Atlantic
''The Atlantic'' is an American magazine and multi-platform publisher. It features articles in the fields of politics, foreign affairs, business and the economy, culture and the arts, technology, and science.
It was founded in 1857 in Boston, ...
'', Hannah Giorgis compared the song's structure to Kelly's
rap opera ''
Trapped in the Closet
''Trapped in the Closet'' is a musical film, musical soap opera series by American contemporary R&B, R&B singer, songwriter & producer R. Kelly, with 33 "chapters" released sporadically from 2005 to 2012. Written, produced, and directed by Kelly, ...
'', and remarked, "The specter of harmful actions is softened by the harmonies of the lullaby." Giorgis described Kelly's delivery as "a stomach-churning mix of
self-pity and
hubris" and criticized Kelly for refusing to address the alleged victims directly. She noted that "at no point does he speak to—rather than ''at'' or ''about''—the women who have come forward" and wrote, "none of the women who have recounted tales of Kelly's abuse is worthy of being the hero in this story. Kelly, and Kelly alone, occupies that mantle."
Ann-Derrick Gaillot of ''
The Outline'' considered "I Admit" a "bad song" and "a 20-minute long plea to save his dying career", and stated that the release of the song demonstrated that Kelly was "no longer invincible".
In ''
Rolling Stone
''Rolling Stone'' is an American monthly magazine that focuses on music, politics, and popular culture. It was founded in San Francisco, California, in 1967 by Jann Wenner, and the music critic Ralph J. Gleason. It was first known for its ...
'', Michael Arcenaux lambasted Kelly for attempting to "invoke his own
trauma
Trauma most often refers to:
* Major trauma, in physical medicine, severe physical injury caused by an external source
* Psychological trauma, a type of damage to the psyche that occurs as a result of a severely distressing event
*Traumatic i ...
to excuse the
grief he is alleged to have caused in so many women and girls".
''
Broadly
Vice Media Group LLC is an American-Canadian digital media and broadcasting company. , the Vice Media Group included five main business areas: VICE.com (digital content); VICE STUDIOS (film and TV production) VICE TV (also known as VICELAND); ...
''s Leila Ettachfini labeled the song as "a bizarre attempt to garner some
sympathy
Sympathy is the perception of, understanding of, and reaction to the distress or need of another life form. According to David Hume, this sympathetic concern is driven by a switch in viewpoint from a personal perspective to the perspective of an ...
from the public in hopes that it could somehow absolve Kelly for his alleged crimes against women and girls", but remarked that "the song doesn't seem to be achieving Kelly's desired effect".
Responses
In interviews with ''
Variety
Variety may refer to:
Arts and entertainment Entertainment formats
* Variety (radio)
* Variety show, in theater and television
Films
* ''Variety'' (1925 film), a German silent film directed by Ewald Andre Dupont
* ''Variety'' (1935 film), ...
'' and ''
Billboard'', DeRogatis denied that his reporting of Kelly's allegations had been a significant factor in his own career growth. DeRogatis defended his continued coverage of Kelly by disclosing that he still received calls from
sources
Source may refer to:
Research
* Historical document
* Historical source
* Source (intelligence) or sub source, typically a confidential provider of non open-source intelligence
* Source (journalism), a person, publication, publishing institute o ...
. He said, "You're not a journalist or a human being if you get those calls and do not do your job." Regarding the
song's composition, DeRogatis saw "I Admit" as a continuation of Kelly's 10-minute
remix of "
I Believe I Can Fly
"I Believe I Can Fly" is a song written, produced, and performed by disgraced American singer R. Kelly from the soundtrack to the 1996 film ''Space Jam''. It was originally released on November 26, 1996, and was later included on Kelly's 1998 a ...
" from his unreleased album ''
Loveland'', in which Kelly sings a plea to
Saint Peter
) (Simeon, Simon)
, birth_date =
, birth_place = Bethsaida, Gaulanitis, Syria, Roman Empire
, death_date = Between AD 64–68
, death_place = probably Vatican Hill, Rome, Italia, Roman Empire
, parents = John (or Jonah; Jona)
, occupat ...
at the gates of
heaven.
Andrea Kelly, R. Kelly's ex-wife, shared lyrics to her remix titled "Admit It" on Instagram on July 24, 2018. In her remix, Andrea alleges that R. Kelly
physically abused her and
neglected their children. In response to a lyric on "I Admit" where R. Kelly describes his relationship with his deceased mother, Joanne Kelly, Andrea sings that Joanne would disapprove of his actions. Andrea also accuses R. Kelly of being a "
dead beat dad" and urges him to obtain "professional help".
R. Kelly's brother, Carey Killa Kelly, released a
diss track
A diss track, diss record or diss song (diss – abbr. from ''disrespect'') is a song whose primary purpose is to verbally attack someone else, usually another artist. Diss tracks are often the result of an existing, escalating feud between the ...
named "I Confess" on
YouTube
YouTube is a global online video sharing and social media platform headquartered in San Bruno, California. It was launched on February 14, 2005, by Steve Chen, Chad Hurley, and Jawed Karim. It is owned by Google, and is the second mo ...
on August 3, 2018.
Replying to R. Kelly's claim on "I Admit" that Carey abandoned him, Carey echoes an April 2018
sexual misconduct
Sexual misconduct is misconduct of a sexual nature which exists on a spectrum that may include a broad range of sexual behaviors considered unwelcome. This includes conduct considered inappropriate on an individual or societal basis of morality, se ...
allegation in which a woman accused R. Kelly of
intentionally giving her a
sexually transmitted infection. In "I Confess", Carey also implies that R. Kelly
had sex with other men.
Black Twitter
Black Twitter is an internet community largely consisting of African-American users on the social network Twitter focused on issues of interest to the black community in the United States.André Brock"From the Blackhand Side: Twitter as a Cultura ...
responded negatively to "I Admit", with many users expressing disgust at the song's lyrical content. The song was poorly received by other artists;
Talib Kweli
Talib Kweli Greene (; born October 3, 1975) is an American rapper. He earned recognition early on through his collaboration with fellow Brooklyn rapper Mos Def in 1997, when they formed the group Black Star. Kweli's musical career continued with ...
remarked that Kelly's "lack of
self awareness
In philosophy of self, self-awareness is the experience of one's own personality or individuality. It is not to be confused with consciousness in the sense of qualia. While consciousness is being aware of one's environment and body and lifesty ...
is atrocious" and
Questlove tweeted, "#IAdmit I want my 19 mins back". The co-founder of the Mute R. Kelly social media campaign,
Oronike Odeleye, called the song a "19-minute
sex trafficking fundraising anthem" and interpreted its release as an indicator of Mute R. Kelly's success. In an interview with the
Associated Press
The Associated Press (AP) is an American non-profit news agency headquartered in New York City. Founded in 1846, it operates as a cooperative, unincorporated association. It produces news reports that are distributed to its members, U.S. ne ...
, Odeleye reaffirmed the campaign's efforts to eliminate Kelly's remaining concert dates.
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is an American nonprofit anti-sexual assault organization, the largest in the United States. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline, as well as the Department of Defense Safe Helpline ...
spokeswoman Jodi Omear criticized the song's lyrics and stated, "Laws aren't opinions".
An attorney representing the family of Joycelyn Savage, one of the daughters mentioned in DeRogatis's ''BuzzFeed News'' article, rebuked Kelly for trying to "
shift the narrative" and demanded Savage's release.
Kelly was convicted of nine criminal counts, including
racketeering (involving
sexual exploitation of a child, kidnapping,
bribery, and sex trafficking) and violations of the
Mann Act
The White-Slave Traffic Act, also called the Mann Act, is a United States federal law, passed June 25, 1910 (ch. 395, ; ''codified as amended at'' ). It is named after Congressman James Robert Mann of Illinois.
In its original form the act mad ...
, on September 28, 2021. A few fans of Kelly played "I Admit" beside the courthouse shortly after the judgment was issued.
See also
*
Harvey Weinstein sexual abuse allegations
*
Me Too movement
#MeToo is a social movement against sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and rape culture, in which people publicize their experiences of sexual abuse or sexual harassment. The phrase "Me Too" was initially used in this context on social media in ...
References
{{authority control
2018 songs
Works about cults
Obscenity controversies in music
R. Kelly songs
Songs about casual sex
Songs about domestic violence
Songs about sexual assault
Songs based on actual events
Songs written by R. Kelly
Song recordings produced by R. Kelly