"Have Some Madeira M'Dear", also titled "Madeira, M'Dear?", is a darkly comic song by

Flanders and Swann Flanders and Swann were a British comedy duo. Lyricist, actor and singer Michael Flanders (1922–1975) and composer and pianist Donald Swann (1923–1994) collaborated in writing and performing comic songs. They first worked together in a scho ...

. The lyrics tell of an elderly rake who "slyly inveigles" an attractive girl of 17 to his flat to view his collection of ( unperforated)

stamps Stamp or Stamps or Stamping may refer to: Official documents and related impressions * Postage stamp, used to indicate prepayment of fees for public mail * Ration stamp, indicating the right to rationed goods * Revenue stamp, used on documents to ...

, where he offers her a glass of Madeira, a fortified Portuguese wine. The girl enthusiastically drains her glass, becoming slightly drunk in the process. Sensing victory, he offers her another glass, which she accepts. However, before raising it to her lips, she recalls her dying mother's warning to avoid red wine. With a cry, the girl drops the glass and flees the apartment, the old roué's pleas for her to remain echoing in her ears. The following morning, however, she wakes in bed with a hangover and a beard tickling her ear. The song contains three much-quoted instances of zeugma: * And he said as he hastened to put out the cat, the wine, his cigar and the lamps * She lowered her standards by raising her glass, her courage, her eyes and his hopes * She made no reply, up her mind and a dash for the door.Flanders and Swann, pp. 143–145 The song has been covered by other groups, including most notably

the Limeliters The Limeliters are an American folk music group, formed in July 1959 by Lou Gottlieb (bass violin/bass), Alex Hassilev (banjo/baritone), and Glenn Yarbrough (guitar/tenor). The group was active from 1959 until 1965, and then after a hiatus of s ...

(performed by

Lou Gottlieb Louis Gottlieb (October 10, 1923 – July 11, 1996) credited as Lou Gottlieb, was an American bassist and comic spokesman for music trio The Limeliters. He held a PhD in musicology and was considered one of the so-called "new comedy" performers, ...

). The lyrics were also recited as a poem by

Tony Randall Anthony Leonard Randall (born Aryeh Leonard Rosenberg; February 26, 1920 – May 17, 2004) was an American actor. He is best known for portraying the role of Felix Unger in a television adaptation of the 1965 play '' The Odd Couple'' by Neil Sim ...

in episode #922 of ''

The Carol Burnett Show ''The Carol Burnett Show'' is an American variety/sketch comedy television show that originally ran on CBS from September 11, 1967, to March 29, 1978, for 279 episodes, and again with nine episodes in fall 1991. It starred Carol Burnett, Har ...

'' which first aired February 21, 1976.

Notes and references

;Notes ;References

Sources

* {{Authority control Flanders and Swann songs Black comedy music 1956 songs Songs about alcohol