''Go to Blazes'' is a 1962 British

comedy film A comedy film is a category of film which emphasizes humor. These films are designed to make the audience laugh through amusement. Films in this style traditionally have a happy ending (black comedy being an exception). Comedy is one of the ol ...

directed by

Michael Truman Michael Truman (25 February 1916, in Bristol, England – 11 July 1972, in Newbury, Berkshire) was a British film producer, director and editor. Educated at London University,Brian McFarlane (ed.) ''The Encyclopedia of British Film'', London ...

and starring Dave King,

Robert Morley Robert Adolph Wilton Morley, CBE (26 May 1908 – 3 June 1992) was an English actor who enjoyed a lengthy career in both Britain and the United States. He was frequently cast as a pompous English gentleman representing the Establishment, of ...

Norman Rossington Norman Rossington (24 December 1928 – 21 May 1999) was an English actor best remembered for his roles in ''The Army Game'', the ''Carry On'' films and the Beatles' film '' A Hard Day's Night''. Early life Born in Liverpool, Lancashire, ...

, Daniel Massey,

Dennis Price Dennistoun Franklyn John Rose Price (23 June 1915 – 6 October 1973) was an English actor, best remembered for his role as Louis Mazzini in the film ''Kind Hearts and Coronets'' (1949) and for his portrayal of the omnicompetent valet Jeeves ...

Maggie Smith Dame Margaret Natalie Smith (born 28 December 1934) is an English actress. With an extensive career on screen and stage beginning in the mid-1950s, Smith has appeared in more than sixty films and seventy plays. She is one of the few performer ...

, and David Lodge. It also featured

Arthur Lowe Arthur Lowe (22 September 1915 – 15 April 1982) was an English actor. His acting career spanned 36 years, including starring roles in numerous theatre and television productions. He played Captain Mainwaring in the British sitcom ''Dad' ...

and

John Le Mesurier John Le Mesurier (, born John Elton Le Mesurier Halliley; 5 April 191215 November 1983) was an English actor. He is perhaps best remembered for his comedic role as Sergeant Arthur Wilson in the BBC television situation co ...

, later to feature prominently in ''

Dad's Army ''Dad's Army'' is a British television British sitcom, sitcom about the United Kingdom's Home Guard (United Kingdom), Home Guard during the World War II, Second World War. It was written by Jimmy Perry and David Croft (TV producer), David Crof ...

''.

Plot

Somewhere in

London London is the capital and largest city of England and the United Kingdom, with a population of just under 9 million. It stands on the River Thames in south-east England at the head of a estuary down to the North Sea, and has been a majo ...

a refined gent in a

bowler hat The bowler hat, also known as a billycock, bob hat, bombín (Spanish) or derby (United States), is a hard felt hat with a rounded crown, originally created by the London hat-makers Thomas and William Bowler in 1849. It has traditionally been worn ...

walks along the road with flowers and chocolates, seemingly on his way to a date. He stops at a jeweller's window and looks at the rings. Suddenly he throws the box (containing a brick) through the window, and grabs the jewels. A Citroen DS rushes up and he gets inside to join his two friends. The police give chase and they are doing well until stopped at a junction for a fire engine to pass. They are caught and sent to

Wormwood Scrubs Wormwood Scrubs, known locally as The Scrubs (or simply Scrubs), is an open space in Old Oak Common located in the north-eastern corner of the London Borough of Hammersmith and Fulham in west London. It is the largest open space in the borough, ...

. The trio decide that a fire engine is the least likely form of transport to be delayed by traffic. Following release, the incompetent criminals go to a fire engine salesroom (if such a thing exists) where the salesman (

Miles Malleson William Miles Malleson (25 May 1888 – 15 March 1969) was an English actor and dramatist, particularly remembered for his appearances in British comedy films of the 1930s to 1960s. Towards the end of his career he also appeared in cameo roles i ...

) extols the virtues of the various machines. However, they cannot afford £5000 for a new engine and go to a

scrap yard Scrap consists of recyclable materials, usually metals, left over from product manufacturing and consumption, such as parts of vehicles, building supplies, and surplus materials. Unlike waste, scrap has monetary value, especially recovered me ...

to buy an old one. They then steal a well-maintained 1930s fire engine, stored in a remote fire station, and swap it for their scrap engine of the same type, burning down the fire station to hide the theft, leaving the burnt out scrapper in the debris. Having parked their engine in a big shed in Smithfield, they identify a jeweller to rob on a corner near

Berkeley Square Berkeley Square is a garden square in the West End of London. It is one of the best known of the many squares in London, located in Mayfair in the City of Westminster. It was laid out in the mid 18th century by the architect William Kent ...

, and get firemen's uniforms in a costume shop. Testing their theory, their first attempt to rob the jeweller's shop ends in disaster. While Harry is dodging the police, he escapes into a show of wedding dresses, where he meets the French owner Chantal (

), and pretends he is the son of Lady Hamilton, one of her rich clients. He arranges a dinner date with her. Meanwhile, Bernard and Alfie in the fire engine are flagged down by a desperate home-owner (

Derek Nimmo Derek Robert Nimmo (19 September 193024 February 1999) was an English character actor, producer and author. He is best remembered for his comedic upper class "silly ass" and clerical roles including Revd Mervyn Noote in the BBC1 sitcom ''All G ...

), whose basement flat is flooding and has mistaken them for the real fire brigade. Their attempts to pump out the flat make matters worse, because they only add water, and they flee the scene with hoses trailing behind them when the real fire engine arrives. Failure only makes them more determined, and they decide they need to be more professional so they can pass as trained firemen, their obvious incompetence at the flooded flat having ruined their plans. An acquaintance, (mad professor) "Arson Eddie" (

), is unwilling to help them because he is devoted to arson - the creation of the "sacred flame". He knows all there is to know about starting fires, but next to nothing about putting them out. A chance conversation heard outside a fire station puts them onto Withers (

), a fire chief dismissed from the service for arson, theft and conduct unbecoming. He is persuaded to train them in exchange for a share in the proceeds of a bank job. Chantal's salon is next to a bank and they decide a fire in her basement would be a suitable ruse to put them conveniently close to the bank. They return to Arson Eddie for a fire-raising scheme. Chantal has a meeting with her boss, Madame Colette, who reveals the business is in financial difficulty but the dress collection is insured for £20,000. "Blimey" she says, revealing her true

cockney accent Cockney is an accent and dialect of English, mainly spoken in London and its environs, particularly by working-class and lower middle-class Londoners. The term "Cockney" has traditionally been used to describe a person from the East End, or b ...

, before reverting to her faux French. Arson Eddie visits the dress shop, claiming to be a potential client, "Mr Mountbatten". He is enchanted by the women and is continually thwarted in his attempts to start a fire. However, Madame Colette sets fire to the curtains as part of her own plan. The bank robbery takes place from the basement but the fire above is very real and the real fire brigade arrives. The thieves escape with a fire hose stuffed with banknotes. Colette and Chantal are surprised when they spot Harry and "Mr Mountbatten" on the fire engine in their firemen's uniforms. A policeman ( David Lodge) overhears and gives chase. As the robbers make their getaway, they are flagged down by two young girls whose treehouse is on fire, and once more they are required to join in the fighting of a real fire. Undeterred, well equipped and, above all, well trained, they join in. Unfortunately for them, Alfie attaches the wrong hose to the pump and covers the scene of the fire with the stolen money instead of water. The film ends with the crooks sitting in the "

Black Maria Black Maria may refer to: Art and literature *Black Mariah (comics), a character in the Luke Cage comics series *List of One Piece characters#Animal Kingdom Pirates, Black Maria, a character in the manga series ''One Piece'' *Black Maria (nove ...

" on their way to their next stint in prison. In the window behind the van,

the Queen In the English-speaking world, The Queen most commonly refers to: * Elizabeth II (1926–2022), Queen of the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth realms from 1952 until her death The Queen may also refer to: * Camilla, Queen Consort (born 1947), ...

, in a royal limousine, can be seen. Bernard remarks that he has just had another idea for the perfect getaway vehicle.

Cast

* Dave King as Bernard *

as Arson Eddie * Daniel Massey as Harry *

as Withers *

Coral Browne Coral Edith Browne (23 July 1913 – 29 May 1991) was an Australian-American stage and screen actress. Her extensive theatre credits included Broadway productions of ''Macbeth'' (1956), '' The Rehearsal'' (1963) and '' The Right Honourable Gentl ...

as Colette *

as Alfie *

as Chantal *

as Salesman * Wilfrid Lawson as Scrap Dealer * David Lodge as Sergeant *

John Welsh John Welsh may refer to: *John Welsh of Ayr (1568–1622), religious leader *John Welsh of Irongray, religious leader *John Welsh (actor) (1904–1985), Irish actor *John Welsh (Australian footballer) (born 1938), Australian rules football player f ...

as Chief Fire Officer *

Finlay Currie William Finlay Currie (20 January 1878 – 9 May 1968) was a Scottish actor of stage, screen, and television.McFarlane, Brian (28 February 2014). ''The Encyclopedia of British Film: Fourth edition''. Oxford University Press. pp. 175-176; He re ...

as Judge * James Hayter as Pipe Smoker *

as Fish Fancier *

John Glyn-Jones John Glyn-Jones (28 August 1908 – 21 January 1997) was a British stage, radio, television and film actor. His father, William Glyn-Jones, was a Member of Parliament and he was educated at Bishop's Stortford College and Oxford University. He ...

as Fire Chief *

Eynon Evans Evan Eynon Evans (18 May 1904 – 1989) billed as Eynon Evans and also known as E. Eynon Rees, was a Welsh writer and film actor of the 1950s, mainly known for his radio and television work. During the 1940s he appeared on the BBC radio vari ...

as Mayor *

Diane Clare Diane Clare (born Diane Dirsztay; 8 July 1938 – 21 June 2013) was an English film and television actress. Career Clare started acting at a very young age playing uncredited baby parts in films such as ''The Ghosts of Berkeley Square'' and ' ...

as Girl Lover *

Dudley Sutton Dudley Sutton (6 April 1933 – 15 September 2018) was an English actor. Active in radio, stage, film and television, he was arguably best known for his role of Tinker Dill in the BBC Television drama series ''Lovejoy''. Early life Sutton was ...

as Boy Lover *

as Fisherman *

John Warwick John McIntosh Beattie (4 January 1905 – 10 January 1972), known professionally as John Warwick, was an Australian actor, and television dramatist. Early life He was born John McIntosh Beattie (many sources give "Beattle") at Bellingen, New S ...

as Fireman

External links

* {{DEFAULTSORT:Go To Blazes (1962 Film) 1962 films 1962 comedy films Films shot at Associated British Studios Films set in London Films set in Wales British comedy films British heist films Films scored by John Addison 1960s heist films 1960s English-language films Films directed by Michael Truman 1960s British films