''Guards! Guards!'' is a

fantasy novel Fantasy literature is literature set in an imaginary universe, often but not always without any locations, events, or people from the real world. Magic, the supernatural and magical creatures are common in many of these imaginary worlds. Fa ...

by British writer

Terry Pratchett Sir Terence David John Pratchett (28 April 1948 – 12 March 2015) was an English humourist, satirist, and author of fantasy novels, especially comical works. He is best known for his '' Discworld'' series of 41 novels. Pratchett's first no ...

, the eighth in the ''

Discworld ''Discworld'' is a comic fantasy"Humorous Fantasy" in David Pringle, ed., ''The Ultimate Encyclopedia of Fantasy'' (pp.31-33). London, Carlton,2006. book series written by the English author Terry Pratchett, set on the Discworld, a flat ...

'' series, first published in 1989. It is the first novel about the

Ankh-Morpork City Watch The Ankh-Morpork City Watch is the police force of the fictional city of Ankh-Morpork in the ''Discworld'' series by the English writer Terry Pratchett. The Watch, its growth and development, and its inner workings are explored through a series ...

. The first ''Discworld'' point-and-click adventure game borrowed heavily from the plot of ''Guards! Guards!''BBC - h2g2 - Terry Pratchett's Discworld - the Computer Game
Retrieved 2009-05-9

Plot

The story follows a plot by a secret brotherhood, the Unique and Supreme Lodge of the Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night, to overthrow the

Patrician Patrician may refer to: * Patrician (ancient Rome), the original aristocratic families of ancient Rome, and a synonym for "aristocratic" in modern English usage * Patrician (post-Roman Europe), the governing elites of cities in parts of medieval ...

of Ankh-Morpork and install a

puppet king A puppet monarch is a majority figurehead who is installed or patronized by an imperial power to provide the appearance of local authority but to allow political and economic control to remain among the dominating nation. A figurehead monarch ...

, under the control of the Supreme Grand Master. Using a stolen magic book, they summon a dragon to strike fear into the people of

Ankh-Morpork Ankh-Morpork is a fictional city-state which features prominently in Terry Pratchett's ''Discworld'' fantasy novels. Overview Pratchett describes Ankh-Morpork as the biggest city in Discworld and its corrupt mercantile capital. In ''The Art of ...

. Once a suitable state of terror and panic has been created, the Supreme Grand Master proposes to put forth an "heir" to the throne, who will slay the dragon and rid the city of tyranny. It is the task of the Night Watch – Captain Vimes, Sergeant Colon, Corporal Nobbs, and new volunteer

Carrot Ironfoundersson The Ankh-Morpork City Watch is the police force of the fictional city of Ankh-Morpork in the ''Discworld'' series by the English writer Terry Pratchett. The Watch, its growth and development, and its inner workings are explored through a series ...

– to stop them, with some help from the

Librarian A librarian is a person who works professionally in a library providing access to information, and sometimes social or technical programming, or instruction on information literacy to users. The role of the librarian has changed much over time ...

of the

Unseen University The Unseen University (UU) is a school of wizardry in Terry Pratchett's ''Discworld'' series of Fantasy literature, fantasy novels. Located in the fictional city of Ankh-Morpork, the UU is staffed by a faculty composed of mostly indolent and ine ...

, an orangutan trying to get the stolen book back. The Watch is generally regarded as a bunch of incompetents who walk around ringing their bells without accomplishing anything. Carrot's arrival changes this; Whereas the existing officers are either cynical, incompetent, mildly crooked or all three, Carrot is honest, straightforward and idealistic. Additionally, he is 6'6" (1.9812 meters) tall and enormously strong. Having memorized the Laws and Ordinances of the Cities of Ankh and Morpork, on his first day he tries to arrest the head of the Thieves' Guild for theft (the Thieves' Guild is permitted a quota of legally licensed thieving, a concept that the book of ancient Laws does not take into account). Brought up as a dwarf – dwarves are a literal, dutiful people – Carrot has an absolute dedication and conscientiousness that unnerve his colleagues who view them as bordering on the suicidal in the face of the reality of Ankh-Morpork life. Carrot's policing style is reminiscent of traditional idealized portrayals of British police, but astoundingly, it actually seems to work. Carrot's enthusiasm strikes a chord with Vimes, who decides that the Watch should try to carry out its ostensible duties. Vimes begins investigating the dragon's appearances, which leads to an acquaintance with Sybil Ramkin, a breeder of swamp dragons. Ramkin gives an underdeveloped dragon, Errol, to the Watch as a

mascot A mascot is any human, animal, or object thought to bring luck, or anything used to represent a group with a common public identity, such as a school, professional sports team, society, military unit, or brand name. Mascots are also used as fi ...

. The leader of the Elucidated Brethren is initially successful in controlling the dragon, but he has not accounted for the dragon's own abilities. The banished dragon returns, and makes itself king of Ankh-Morpork (keeping the head of the Elucidated Brethren as its mouthpiece) and demands that the people of Ankh-Morpork bring it

gold Gold is a chemical element with the symbol Au (from la, aurum) and atomic number 79. This makes it one of the higher atomic number elements that occur naturally. It is a bright, slightly orange-yellow, dense, soft, malleable, and ductile me ...

and regular

virgin Virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse. The term ''virgin'' originally only referred to sexually inexperienced women, but has evolved to encompass a range of definitions, as found in traditional, modern ...

sacrifices, whilst preparing for an "ambitious and vigorous" foreign policy, aimed at subjugating Ankh-Morpork's neighbours. Shortly after, Vimes is imprisoned in the same cell as the Patrician, who has been leading a relatively comfortable life with the help of the rats he uses as

spies Spies most commonly refers to people who engage in spying, espionage or clandestine operations. Spies or The Spies may also refer to: * Spies (surname), a German surname * Spies (band), a jazz fusion band * Spies (song), "Spies" (song), a song by ...

. The Librarian helps Vimes to escape and he runs to the aid of Sybil, who has been chosen as the first maiden to be sacrificed. The Watch's swamp dragon, Errol, reorganises his digestive system to form a supersonic propulsion system and fights the king, eventually knocking it out of the sky with a

shock wave In physics, a shock wave (also spelled shockwave), or shock, is a type of propagating disturbance that moves faster than the local speed of sound in the medium. Like an ordinary wave, a shock wave carries energy and can propagate through a me ...

. As the assembled crowd closes in on the king for the kill, Sybil tries to plead for the dragon's life. Carrot instead places it under arrest, however Errol lets the dragon escape, revealing that the dragon is in fact female, the battle between the two being a courtship ritual. Sam Vimes proceeds to arrest the Supreme Grand Master (Lupine Wonse, the Patrician's secretary) but accidentally causes the man's death when he tells Carrot to "throw the book at him." The man was attempting to summon another dragon, and dies from falling off a broken floor after being hit by the ''Laws and Ordinances of Ankh-Morpork''. The Patrician is reinstated as ruler of Ankh-Morpork, and offers the Watch anything they want as a reward. They ask only for a modest pay raise, a new tea kettle, and a dartboard. However, the Watch House at Treacle Mine Road was destroyed by the dragon. Lady Ramkin donates her childhood home at Pseudopolis Yard as the new Watch House.

Characters

*Carrot Ironfoundersson *Samuel Vimes *Fred Colon *Nobby *Havelock Vetinari *Lupine Wonse *The Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night *Sybil Ramkin

Reception

John Clute, writing in 1990, noted that Pratchett's decision to address serious topics risked damaging the Discworld's potential for "(c)omedy, which Pratchett writes with something like genius", and particularly faulted Lord Vetinari's monologue on the nature of

evil Evil, in a general sense, is defined as the opposite or absence of good. It can be an extremely broad concept, although in everyday usage it is often more narrowly used to talk about profound wickedness and against common good. It is general ...

(which Clute described as

Realpolitik ''Realpolitik'' (; ) refers to enacting or engaging in diplomatic or political policies based primarily on considerations of given circumstances and factors, rather than strictly binding itself to explicit ideological notions or moral and ethical ...

and

Weltschmerz (; literally "world-pain") is a literary concept describing the feeling experienced by an individual who believes that reality can never satisfy the expectations of the mind, resulting in "a mood of weariness or sadness about life arising from ...

): although Clute conceded that the monologue had been skilfully written, he felt that it "has all the ring of another sphere of discourse" and "comes close to shattering the comic pulse of the Discworld".Guards, Unicorns, Zool
by John Clute, originally published in '' Interzone'' January/February 1990; archived in ''Look at the Evidence: Essays and Reviews''; published 2016 by Orion Publishing Group ''

National Public Radio National Public Radio (NPR, stylized in all lowercase) is an American privately and state funded nonprofit media organization headquartered in Washington, D.C., with its NPR West headquarters in Culver City, California. It differs from other ...

'' described ''Guards! Guards!'' as a "solid entryway" into the Discworld novels.There's No Wrong Place To Start Reading Pratchett
by Tasha Robinson, at

; published March 16, 2015; retrieved September 29, 2017

Adaptations

The novel has been adapted as: * a 6-episode serial on

BBC Radio 4 BBC Radio 4 is a British national radio station owned and operated by the BBC that replaced the BBC Home Service in 1967. It broadcasts a wide variety of spoken-word programmes, including news, drama, comedy, science and history from the BBC' ...

(23 November - 28 December 1992) dramatised by Michael Butt and starring John Wood (Vimes),

Melvyn Hayes Melvyn Hayes ('' né'' Hyams; 11 January 1935) is an English actor and voice over performer. He is best known for playing the effeminate Gunner (later Bombardier) "Gloria" Beaumont in the 1970s BBC sitcom ''It Ain't Half Hot Mum'', for appea ...

(Nobby),

Robert Gwilym Robert Gwilym (born 2 December 1956), sometimes known as Bob Gwilym, is a Welsh actor. Robert Gwilym was born in Neath, Glamorgan, Wales, where his family owned a chain of lingerie shops. His brother, Mike Gwilym, also made his name as an actor. ...

(Carrot),

Crawford Logan Crawford Logan is a British actor best known for his work in radio. In 2006 he became the latest actor to play the eponymous hero Paul Temple in a revival of the long-running mystery series on BBC radio. In 2009 he narrated the BBC Radio 4 Book o ...

(Vetinari),

Helen Atkinson-Wood Helen Atkinson-Wood (born 14 March 1955) is an English actress and comedian born in Cheadle Hulme, Cheshire. She studied fine art at the Ruskin School, Oxford University, where she performed with Rowan Atkinson (no relation). She also perfo ...

(Lady Ramkin), Brett Usher (Supreme Grand Master), Martin Jarvis (narrator). * a stage play for the amateur stage scripted by

Stephen Briggs Stephen Briggs (born 1951) is a British writer of subsidiary works and merchandise surrounding Terry Pratchett's comic fantasy ''Discworld''. '' The Streets of Ankh-Morpork'', the first Discworld map, was co-designed by Briggs and Pratchett an ...

(1993) (script later published in book form 1997).Doollee - The Playwrights Databas
Stephen Briggs - complete guide to the Playwright, Plays, Theatres, Agent
Retrieved 2009-05-9 * a professional stage play scripted by Geoffrey Cush and starring

Paul Darrow Paul Darrow (born Paul Valentine Birkby; 2 May 1941 – 3 June 2019) was an English actor. He became best known for playing Kerr Avon in the BBC science fiction television series ''Blake's 7'' between 1978 and 1981. His many television rol ...

(1998). * a "Big Comic" (

Graphic novel A graphic novel is a long-form, fictional work of sequential art. The term ''graphic novel'' is often applied broadly, including fiction, non-fiction, and anthologized work, though this practice is highly contested by comic scholars and industry ...

) drawn by

Graham Higgins Graham Higgins (born 1953) is a British writer and artist, designer and lecturer. Biography Higgins' association with comics began with independent publishers Birmingham's Ar-Zak Press and Knockabout Comics. He has drawn cartoons and covers for ...

and based on Briggs' script (2000). * an audio play presented live at Dragon*Con in 2001, adapted by David Benedict and performed by the ARTC (Atlanta Radio Theatre Company). In appreciation, the ARTC made a donation to the Orangutan Foundation International.ARTC's Podcast
Retrieved 2009-05-9 * a

video game Video games, also known as computer games, are electronic games that involves interaction with a user interface or input device such as a joystick, controller, keyboard, or motion sensing device to generate visual feedback. This fee ...

loosely based on the plot of the book, with

Rincewind Rincewind is a fictional character appearing in several of the ''Discworld'' novels by Terry Pratchett. He is a failed student at the Unseen University for wizards in Ankh-Morpork, and is often described by scholars as "the magical equivalent to ...

substituted for

Sam Vimes His Grace, The Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel "Sam" Vimes is a fictional character in Terry Pratchett's ''Discworld'' series. Vimes is depicted in the novels as somewhere between an Inspector Morse-type 'old-school' British policeman, and ...

. * a Board Game - officially launched at

Titancon TitanCon is a convention held annually in Belfast. It began when different groups including the Brotherhood Without Banners (BWB), who wanted a Game of Thrones fan convention in Belfast and The Other Ones (society), The Other Ones, a Belfast SF ...

, Belfast 24 September 2011 by Backspindle Games (Designers: Leonard Boyd & David Brashaw) in conjunction with Z-Man Games, USA. The game includes 90 Discworld character illustrations drawn by Stephen Player and respective text quotes from over twenty Discworld novels.

Translations

*Стражите! Стражите! (Bulgarian) *''Stráže! Stráže!'' (Czech) *''Wacht! Wacht!'' (Dutch) *''Vahid! Vahid!'' (Estonian) *''Vartijat, hoi!'' (Finnish) *''Au Guet !'' (French) *''Wachen! Wachen!'' (German) *שומרים! שומרים! (Shomrim! Shomrim!) (Hebrew) *''Őrség! Őrség!'' (Hungarian) *''A me le guardie!'' (Italian) *''I lovens navn!'' (In the name of the law) (Norwegian) *''Straż! Straż!'' (Polish) *''Guardas! Guardas! '' (Portuguese - Brazil) *''Gărzi! Gărzi!'' (Romanian) *Стража! Стража! (Russian) *''Straža! Straža!'' (Serbian) *''¡Guardias! ¿Guardias?'' (Spanish) *''I lagens namn'' (In the name of the law) (Swedish) *''Muhafızlar! Muhafızlar!'' (Turkish) *''來人啊!'' (繁體中文) *''卫兵！卫兵！''(简体中文) *''Варта! Варта!'' (Ukrainian) *''Guàrdies, guàrdies!'' (Catalan)

References

External links

*
Annotations for ''Guards! Guards!''

Discworld reading order - The Watch
{{Authority control 1989 British novels Discworld books British comedy novels British fantasy novels 1989 fantasy novels British novels adapted into television shows Novels adapted into comics Victor Gollancz Ltd books