A girlfriend is a female
friend
Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an "acquaintance" or an "association", such as a classmate, neighbor, coworker, or colleague.
In some cultures, the concept of ...
,
acquaintance
The concept of interpersonal relationship involves social associations, connections, or affiliations between two or more people. Interpersonal relationships vary in their degree of intimacy or self-disclosure, but also in their duration, in t ...
or
partner
Partner, Partners, The Partner, or, The Partners may refer to:
Books
* ''The Partner'' (Grisham novel), by John Grisham, 1997
* ''The Partner'' (Jenaro Prieto novel), 1928
* ''The Partners'' (book), a 1983 book by James B. Stewart
* ''Partner'' (m ...
, usually a female companion with whom one is
platonically,
romantically
''Romantically'' is an album by American pop singer Johnny Mathis that was released on November 18, 1963, by Columbia Records and was also the final original studio album recorded by Mathis for the label prior to his moving to Mercury Records. M ...
, or
sexually involved.
In a
romantic
Romantic may refer to:
Genres and eras
* The Romantic era, an artistic, literary, musical and intellectual movement of the 18th and 19th centuries
** Romantic music, of that era
** Romantic poetry, of that era
** Romanticism in science, of that e ...
context, this normally signifies a
committed relationship
A committed relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon agreed-upon commitment to one another involving love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other behavior. Forms of committed relationships include close friendship, long-term rela ...
where the individuals are not
married
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between t ...
. Other titles for example "''
wife
A wife (plural, : wives) is a female in a marital relationship. A woman who has separated from her partner continues to be a wife until the marriage is legally Dissolution (law), dissolved with a divorce judgement. On the death of her partner, ...
''" or "''
partner
Partner, Partners, The Partner, or, The Partners may refer to:
Books
* ''The Partner'' (Grisham novel), by John Grisham, 1997
* ''The Partner'' (Jenaro Prieto novel), 1928
* ''The Partners'' (book), a 1983 book by James B. Stewart
* ''Partner'' (m ...
''" usually signify that the individuals are legally married or otherwise in a form of
wedlock.
A girlfriend can also be called a
''sweetheart'', ''darling'', ''babe'', or ''honey''.
The analogous male term is "
boyfriend
A boyfriend is a male friend or acquaintance, often specifying a regular male companion with whom a person is romantically or sexually involved.
A boyfriend can also be called an admirer, beau, suitor and sweetheart. The analogous female te ...
", which almost always implies romantic involvement.
In the context of a platonic relationship, the term is usually used to refer to
female-female relationships. The two word variation "girl friend" (or even "friend girl") may be used to avoid implying a romantic or sexual relationship between the individuals.
Scope
Partners in
committed relationship
A committed relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon agreed-upon commitment to one another involving love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other behavior. Forms of committed relationships include close friendship, long-term rela ...
s are also sometimes described as a
"significant others" or simply "partner", especially if the individuals are
cohabiting
Cohabitation is an arrangement where people who are not married, usually couples, live together. They are often involved in a romantic or sexually intimate relationship on a long-term or permanent basis. Such arrangements have become increas ...
.
"Girlfriend" and "partner" mean different things to different people and the distinctions between the terms are subjective. How the term is used will ultimately be determined by personal preference.
In 2005, a
study
Study or studies may refer to:
General
* Education
**Higher education
* Clinical trial
* Experiment
* Observational study
* Research
* Study skills, abilities and approaches applied to learning
Other
* Study (art), a drawing or series of drawi ...
was conducted of 115 people ages 21 to 35 who were either living with or had lived with a romantic partner. It notes that the lack of proper terms often leads to awkward situations, such as someone becoming upset over not being introduced in a social situation to avoid the question of their relationship .
There exists some ambiguity between the terms "girl friend," or a friend who is female, and "girlfriend." The transition between the two is a significant aspect of adolescent development.
Both forms of "girlfriend" and "girl friend" are used by different people to mean different things. For example, when the term "girlfriend" is used by a female about another female in a non-
sexual
Sex is the biological distinction of an organism between male and female.
Sex or SEX may also refer to:
Biology and behaviour
*Animal sexual behaviour
**Copulation (zoology)
**Human sexual activity
**Non-penetrative sex, or sexual outercourse
** ...
, non-
romantic
Romantic may refer to:
Genres and eras
* The Romantic era, an artistic, literary, musical and intellectual movement of the 18th and 19th centuries
** Romantic music, of that era
** Romantic poetry, of that era
** Romanticism in science, of that e ...
context, the two-word form "girl friend" is sometimes used to avoid confusion with the sexual or romantic meaning. In this sense of its usage, "girlfriend" is used in terms of very close
friends
''Friends'' is an American television sitcom created by David Crane and Marta Kauffman, which aired on NBC from September 22, 1994, to May 6, 2004, lasting ten seasons. With an ensemble cast starring Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa ...
and has no sexual connotations, unless it, for example, is in the case of
lesbian
A lesbian is a Homosexuality, homosexual woman.Zimmerman, p. 453. The word is also used for women in relation to their sexual identity or sexual behavior, regardless of sexual orientation, or as an adjective to characterize or associate n ...
,
bisexual
Bisexuality is a romantic or sexual attraction or behavior toward both males and females, or to more than one gender. It may also be defined to include romantic or sexual attraction to people regardless of their sex or gender identity, whi ...
or
pansexual
, meaning "all"
, definition = Sexual or romantic attraction to people regardless of gender
, classification = Sexual identity
, parent = Bisexuality
, synonyms =
, associated_terms = Polysexual, queer, heterofl ...
women. The term "girlfriend" is also used in LGBT communities and can refer to people of any sex or sexuality.
The term "girlfriend" does not necessarily imply a sexual relationship, but is often used to refer to a girl or woman who is
dating
Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. It falls into the categor ...
a person she is not engaged to without indicating whether she is having sex with them. With differing expectations of sexual
mores
Mores (, sometimes ; , plural form of singular , meaning "manner, custom, usage, or habit") are social norms that are widely observed within a particular society or culture. Mores determine what is considered morally acceptable or unacceptable ...
, the term "dating" can imply romantic activity whereas simply using "friend" would likely avoid implying such intimacy. It is essentially equivalent to the term "sweetheart", which has also been used as a
term of endearment
A term of endearment is a word or phrase used to address or describe a person, animal or inanimate object for which the speaker feels love or affection. Terms of endearment are used for a variety of reasons, such as parents addressing their ch ...
.
A similar relationship wherein there is no exclusivity is sometimes referred to by terms such as ''
friend with benefits''.
Style guides
As of 2007, The ''
New York Times
''The New York Times'' (''the Times'', ''NYT'', or the Gray Lady) is a daily newspaper based in New York City with a worldwide readership reported in 2020 to comprise a declining 840,000 paid print subscribers, and a growing 6 million paid d ...
'' style guide discouraged the use of the term "girlfriend" for an adult romantic partner: "Companion is a suitable term for an unmarried partner of the same or the opposite sex."
[
] The ''Times'' received some criticism
for referring to
Shaha Riza
Shaha Riza ( ar, شاها علي رضا; born 1953 or 1954), is a Libyan former World Bank employee. Her external assignment at the Foundation for the Future, a "semi-independent foundation to promote democracy" is both in the Middle East and in N ...
as the "girlfriend" of
World Bank
The World Bank is an international financial institution that provides loans and grants to the governments of low- and middle-income countries for the purpose of pursuing capital projects. The World Bank is the collective name for the Interna ...
president
Paul Wolfowitz
Paul Dundes Wolfowitz (born December 22, 1943) is an American political scientist and diplomat who served as the 10th President of the World Bank, U.S. Deputy Secretary of Defense, U.S. Ambassador to Indonesia, and former dean of Johns Hopkins SA ...
in one article about the controversy over their relationship. Other news articles in the ''Times'' had generally referred to her as Wolfowitz's "companion".
The 2015 edition of the ''
New York Times Manual of Style
''The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage: The Official Style Guide Used by the Writers and Editors of the World's Most Authoritative Newspaper'' is a style guide first published in 1950 by editors at the newspaper and revised in 1974, 1999, ...
'' states, however, that the view on the term "girlfriend" as being informal is now relegated to the realm of traditionalism, and that it has become accepted to use "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" to describe people of all ages (with consideration given to the preferences of the people involved).
Etymology
The word "girlfriend" was first used in 1863 as "a woman's female friend in youth". In 1922, the word girlfriend was used to mean a man's "sweetheart".
Related terms
* A female engaged in an
extramarital relationship with a married man is frequently considered a "
mistress
Mistress is the feminine form of the English word "master" (''master'' + ''-ess'') and may refer to:
Romance and relationships
* Mistress (lover), a term for a woman who is in a sexual and romantic relationship with a man who is married to a d ...
". The word "mistress" was originally used as a neutral counterpart for the words "mister" or "master".
* The word "
madam
Madam (), or madame ( or ), is a polite and formal form of address for Woman, women in the English language, often contracted to ma'am (pronounced in American English and this way but also in British English). The term derives from the French ...
" is still a respectful form of address, but has had sexual connotations since the early 18th century and has been used to refer to the owner of a brothel since the early 20th century.
* Some
terms of endearment
''Terms of Endearment'' is a 1983 American family comedy-drama film directed, written, and produced by James L. Brooks, adapted from Larry McMurtry's 1975 novel of the same name. It stars Debra Winger, Shirley MacLaine, Jack Nicholson, Danny De ...
directed to females, a romantic relationship not required, are "darling", "sweetheart", "love", etc.
* Users of
Internet slang
Internet slang (also called Internet shorthand, cyber-slang, netspeak, digispeak or chatspeak) is a non-standard or unofficial form of language used by people on the Internet to communicate to one another. An example of Internet slang is "LOL" m ...
and
SMS
Short Message/Messaging Service, commonly abbreviated as SMS, is a text messaging service component of most telephone, Internet and mobile device systems. It uses standardized communication protocols that let mobile devices exchange short text ...
slang often shorten "girlfriend" to the initialism "gf".
* Additionally, gender-indiscriminate terms also apply (e.g., lover, heartthrob, paramour, squeeze, sweetheart, true love, wooer, date, steady, admirer, bae, or companion).
Distinction from "lady friend"
A similar, but not equivalent, concept is the more ambiguous "lady friend" – a companion of the female gender who is possibly less than a girlfriend but potentially more than a friend. That is to say, the relationship is not necessarily platonic, nor is it necessarily an exclusive, serious, committed, or long-term relationship. The term avoids the overt sexual implications that come with referring to a woman as someone's "mistress" or "lover". In that sense, it can often be a euphemism. The term can also sometimes be employed when someone simply does not know the exact status of a woman that a man has been associating with. For instance, tabloid headlines often note that a celebrity has been seen with a new "lady friend".
"Lady friend" may also be used to signify a romantic relationship with an older woman, when the term "girl" as in "girlfriend" may be deemed age-inappropriate.
See also
*
Domestic partnership
A domestic partnership is a legal relationship, usually between couples, who live together and share a common domestic life, but are not married (to each other or to anyone else). People in domestic partnerships receive benefits that guarantee r ...
*
Girlfriend experience
A girlfriend experience (GFE) is a commercial sex service that blurs the boundaries between a financial transaction and a romantic relationship. It ranges from a transactional sex relationship to a client paying a sex worker to pretend to be his ...
References
Bibliography
''Sociocultural Perspectives on Language Change in Diaspora''David R. Andrews (1998); John Benjamins Publishing Company, .
''The Handbook of Language and Gender''By Janet Holmes, Miriam Meyerhoff (2003); Blackwell Publishing, .
''In Your Face: Stories from the Lives of Queer Youth''Mary L. Gray (1999); Haworth Press, .
''Defining Language: A Local Grammar of Definition Sentences''Geoff Barnbrook (2002); John Benjamins Publishing Company, .
''How Not To Say What You Mean: A Dictionary of Euphemisms''R. W. Holder (2002); Oxford University Press, {{ISBN, 0-19-860402-5.
1860s neologisms
Intimate relationships
Terms for women
Girls