''Frozen Assets'' is a 1992 American

comedy film A comedy film is a category of film which emphasizes humor. These films are designed to make the audience laugh through amusement. Films in this style traditionally have a happy ending (black comedy being an exception). Comedy is one of the ol ...

directed by

George T. Miller George Trumbull Miller (born 28 November 1943) is a Scottish-Australian film and television director and producer. He has directed '' The Man from Snowy River'', '' The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter'' and ''Zeus and Roxanne''. He sta ...

. It stars

Shelley Long Shelley Lee Long (born August 23, 1949) is an American actress, singer, and comedian. Long portrayed Diane Chambers on the hit sitcom ''Cheers'' and received five Emmy nominations, winning in 1983 for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Serie ...

and

Corbin Bernsen Corbin Dean Bernsen (born September 7, 1954) is an American actor and film director. He appeared as divorce attorney Arnold Becker on the NBC drama series '' L.A. Law'',

Plot

Zach Shepard, an executive at a Los Angeles bank, gets a new job at a bank in Oregon, which is revealed to be a

sperm bank A sperm bank, semen bank, or cryobank is a facility or enterprise which purchases, stores and sells human semen. The semen is produced and sold by men who are known as sperm donors. The sperm is purchased by or for other persons for the purpose o ...

. After some initial confusion, Zach and the sperm bank's doctor, Grace Murdock, deal with a shortage of donations by holding a contest with a $100,000 prize. Citizens abstain from sex to save themselves for bank "deposits," while a local brothel protests the sperm bank for ruining its business. Zach is assisted in assorted ways by Newton, an escaped mental patient who lives with his mother, and before his work is done, Zach and Grace are ready to open up a joint account.

Cast

as Dr. Grace Murdock *

Corbin Bernsen Corbin Dean Bernsen (born September 7, 1954) is an American actor and film director. He appeared as divorce attorney Arnold Becker on the NBC drama series '' L.A. Law'',

as Zach Shepard * Larry Miller as Newton Patterson *

Dody Goodman Dody Goodman (October 28, 1914 – June 22, 2008) was an American character actress. She played the mother of the title character in the television series ''Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman'', her distinctive high-pitched voice announcing the s ...

as Mrs. Patterson *

Gerrit Graham Gerrit Graham (born November 27, 1949) is an American stage, television, and film actor as well as a scriptwriter and songwriter. He is best known for his appearances in multiple films by Brian De Palma as well as appearances in two ''Star Trek'' ...

as Lewis Crandall * Matt Clark as J.F. Hughes

Filming

Filming took place in

Portland, Oregon Portland (, ) is a port city in the Pacific Northwest and the largest city in the U.S. state of Oregon. Situated at the confluence of the Willamette and Columbia rivers, Portland is the county seat of Multnomah County, the most populous co ...

and the

Columbia River Gorge The Columbia River Gorge is a canyon of the Columbia River in the Pacific Northwest of the United States. Up to deep, the canyon stretches for over as the river winds westward through the Cascade Range, forming the boundary between the sta ...

Reception

The film bombed at the box office, only earning $376,008 in the United States. The film received negative reviews, and was lambasted by famed Chicago film critics

Gene Siskel Eugene Kal Siskel (January 26, 1946 – February 20, 1999) was an American film critic and journalist for the ''Chicago Tribune''. Along with colleague Roger Ebert, he hosted a series of movie review programs on television from 1975 until his d ...

and

Roger Ebert Roger Joseph Ebert (; June 18, 1942 – April 4, 2013) was an American film critic, film historian, journalist, screenwriter, and author. He was a film critic for the ''Chicago Sun-Times'' from 1967 until his death in 2013. In 1975, Ebert beca ...

. Ebert also gave the film the rare zero stars rating in the ''Chicago Sun-Times'', writing "I felt like I was an eyewitness to a disaster. If I had been an actor in the film, I would have wondered why all the characters in this movie seem dumber than the average roadkill. What puzzles me is this film's tone. It's essentially a children's film with a dirty mind. This is a movie to watch in appalled silence. To call it the year's worst would be a kindness." ''Frozen Assets'' holds a rare 0% rating on

Rotten Tomatoes Rotten Tomatoes is an American review-aggregation website for film and television. The company was launched in August 1998 by three undergraduate students at the University of California, Berkeley: Senh Duong, Patrick Y. Lee, and Stephen Wang ...

based on 9 reviews.

References

External links

* * * {{DEFAULTSORT:Frozen Assets (Film) 1992 films Films directed by George T. Miller Films scored by Michael Tavera Films shot in Oregon Films shot in Portland, Oregon 1990s English-language films