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Friendship is a
relationship
Relationship most often refers to:
* Family relations and relatives: consanguinity
* Interpersonal relationship, a strong, deep, or close association or acquaintance between two or more people
* Correlation and dependence, relationships in mathem ...
of mutual
affection
Affection or fondness is a "disposition or state of mind or body" that is often associated with a feeling or type of love. It has given rise to a number of branches of philosophy and psychology concerning emotion, disease, influence, and sta ...
between people. It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an "acquaintance" or an "association", such as a classmate, neighbor, coworker, or colleague.
In some cultures, the concept of friendship is restricted to a small number of very deep relationships; in others, such as the U.S. and Canada, a person could have many friends, and perhaps a more intense relationship with one or two people, who may be called ''good friends'' or ''best friends''. Other colloquial terms include ''besties'' or ''
Best Friends Forever'' (''BFF''s). Although there are many forms of friendship, some of which may vary from place to place, certain characteristics are present in many such bonds. Such features include choosing to be with one another, enjoying time spent together, and being able to engage in a positive and supportive role to one another.
Sometimes friends are distinguished from
family
Family (from la, familia) is a Social group, group of people related either by consanguinity (by recognized birth) or Affinity (law), affinity (by marriage or other relationship). The purpose of the family is to maintain the well-being of its ...
, as in the saying "friends and family", and sometimes from
lovers (e.g., "lovers and friends"), although the line is blurred with
friends with benefits. Similarly, the ''
friend zone'' is a term for when someone is restricted from rising up to the status of lover, hence the name (see also
Unrequited love
Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. The beloved may not be aware of the admirer's deep and pure affection, or may consciously reject it. The Merriam Webster Online Dic ...
).
Friendship has been studied in academic fields, such as
communication
Communication (from la, communicare, meaning "to share" or "to be in relation with") is usually defined as the transmission of information. The term may also refer to the message communicated through such transmissions or the field of inquir ...
,
sociology
Sociology is a social science that focuses on society, human social behavior, patterns of Interpersonal ties, social relationships, social interaction, and aspects of culture associated with everyday life. It uses various methods of Empirical ...
,
social psychology
Social psychology is the scientific study of how thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are influenced by the real or imagined presence of other people or by social norms. Social psychologists typically explain human behavior as a result of the r ...
,
anthropology
Anthropology is the scientific study of humanity, concerned with human behavior, human biology, cultures, societies, and linguistics, in both the present and past, including past human species. Social anthropology studies patterns of behavi ...
, and
philosophy
Philosophy (from , ) is the systematized study of general and fundamental questions, such as those about existence, reason, knowledge, values, mind, and language. Such questions are often posed as problems to be studied or resolved. Some ...
. Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, including
social exchange theory,
equity theory
Equity theory focuses on determining whether the distribution of resources is fair to both relational partners. Equity is measured by comparing the ratio of contributions (or costs) and benefits (or rewards) for each person. Considered one of the ...
,
relational dialectics, and
attachment styles.
Developmental psychology
Childhood
The understanding of friendship in children tends to be more heavily focused on areas such as common activities, physical proximity, and shared expectations.
These friendships provide opportunity for
playing
Play is a range of intrinsically motivated activities done for recreational pleasure and enjoyment. Play is commonly associated with children and juvenile-level activities, but may be engaged in at any life stage, and among other higher-functio ...
and practicing
self-regulation
Self-regulation may refer to:
*Emotional self-regulation
*Self-control, in sociology/psychology
*Self-regulated learning, in educational psychology
*Self-regulation theory (SRT), a system of conscious personal management
*Industry self-regulation, ...
.
Most children tend to describe friendship in terms of things like
sharing, and children are more likely to share with someone they consider to be a friend.
[Newman, B.M. & Newman, P.R. (2012). Development Through Life: A Psychosocial Approach. Stanford, CT.] As children mature, they become less individualized and are more aware of others. They gain the ability to empathize with their friends, and enjoy playing in groups. They also experience peer rejection as they move through the middle childhood years. Establishing good friendships at a young age helps a child to be better acclimated in society later on in their life.
Based upon the reports of teachers and mothers, 75% of preschool children had at least one friend. This figure rose to 78% through the
fifth grade
Fifth grade (called Grade 5 in some regions) is a year of education in many nations, and some other regions call it Year 5. In the United States, the fifth grade is the fifth and last year of elementary school in most schools. In other schools, it ...
, as measured by co-nomination as friends, and 55% had a mutual best friend.
About 15% of children were found to be chronically friendless, reporting periods without mutual friends at least six months.
Studies have shown that friendships in childhood can assist in the development of certain skills, such as building empathy and learning different problem solving techniques.
Coaching from parents can be useful in helping children to make friends.
Eileen Kennedy-Moore describes three key ingredients of children's friendship formation: (1) openness, (2) similarity, and (3) shared fun. Parents can also help children understand social guidelines they haven't learned on their own. Drawing from research by Robert Selman and others, Kennedy-Moore outlines developmental stages in children's friendship, reflecting an increasing capacity to understand others' perspectives: "I Want It My Way", "What's In It For Me?", "By the Rules", "Caring and Sharing", and "Friends Through Thick and Thin."
Adolescence
![Bhutan, Friends - Flickr - babasteve](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4f/Bhutan%2C_Friends_-_Flickr_-_babasteve.jpg)
In adolescence, friendships become "more giving, sharing, frank, supportive, and spontaneous." Adolescents tend to seek out peers who can provide such qualities in a
reciprocal relationship, and to avoid peers whose problematic behavior suggest they may not be able to satisfy these needs.
Personal characteristics and
disposition
A disposition is a quality of character, a habit, a preparation, a state of readiness, or a tendency to act in a specified way.
The terms dispositional belief and occurrent belief refer, in the former case, to a belief that is held in the mind bu ...
s are also features sought by adolescents, when choosing whom to begin a friendship with.
During adolescence, friendship relationships are more based on similar morals and values, loyalty, and shared interests than that of children, in which friendships stem from being in the same vicinity and access to playthings.
One large study of American adolescents determined how their engagement in problematic behavior (such as stealing, fighting, and truancy) was related to their friendships. Findings indicated that adolescents were less likely to engage in problem behavior when their friends did well in school, participated in school activities, avoided drinking, and had good
mental health
Mental health encompasses emotional, psychological, and social well-being, influencing cognition, perception, and behavior. It likewise determines how an individual handles stress, interpersonal relationships, and decision-making. Mental health ...
. The opposite was found regarding adolescents who did engage in problematic behavior. Whether adolescents were influenced by their friends to engage in problem behavior depended on how much they were exposed to those friends, and whether they and their friendship groups "fit in" at school.
Friendships formed during
post-secondary education last longer than friendships formed earlier. In late adolescence, cross-racial friendships tend to be uncommon, likely due to prejudice and cultural differences.
Adulthood
![Tudor and Delia Summer 2015 coloured](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Tudor_and_Delia_Summer_2015_coloured.JPG)
Friendship in adulthood provides companionship, affection, as well as emotional support, and contributes positively to mental well-being and improved physical health.
Adults may find it particularly difficult to maintain meaningful friendships in the workplace. "The workplace can crackle with competition, so people learn to hide vulnerabilities and quirks from colleagues. Work friendships often take on a transactional feel; it is difficult to say where networking ends and real friendship begins." Unlike younger people, many adults value their financial well-being and security that their job provides rather than developing friendships with coworkers.
The majority of adults have an average of two close friends. Numerous studies with adults suggest that friendships and other supportive relationships do enhance self-esteem.
[Berndt, T.J. (2002)]
Friendship Quality and Social Development
American Psychological Society. Purdue University
Purdue University is a public land-grant research university in West Lafayette, Indiana, and the flagship campus of the Purdue University system. The university was founded in 1869 after Lafayette businessman John Purdue donated land and money ...
.
Older adults
Older adults continue to report high levels of personal satisfaction in their friendships as they age, even as the overall number of friends tends to decline. This satisfaction is associated with an increased ability to accomplish
activities of daily living, as well as a reduced decline in
cognitive abilities
Cognitive skills, also called cognitive functions, cognitive abilities or cognitive capacities, are brain-based skills which are needed in acquisition of knowledge, manipulation of information and reasoning. They have more to do with the mechanisms ...
, decreased instances of hospitalization, and better outcomes related to
rehabilitation
Rehabilitation or Rehab may refer to:
Health
* Rehabilitation (neuropsychology), therapy to regain or improve neurocognitive function that has been lost or diminished
* Rehabilitation (wildlife), treatment of injured wildlife so they can be retur ...
.
The overall number of reported friends in later life may be mediated by increased lucidity, better speech and vision, and marital status. A decline in the number of friends an individual has as they become older has been explained by Carstensen's Socioemotional Selectivity Theory, which describes a change in motivation that adults experience when socializing. The theory states that an increase in age is characterized by a shift from information-gathering to emotional regulation; in order to maintain positive emotions, older adults restrict their social groups to those whom they share an emotional bond.
As one review phrased it:
Research within the past four decades has now consistently found that older adults reporting the highest levels of happiness and general well being also report strong, close ties to numerous friends.
As family responsibilities and vocational pressures lessen, friendships become more important. Among the elderly, friendships can provide links to the larger community, serve as a protective factor against depression and loneliness, and compensate for potential losses in social support previously given by family members.
Especially for people who cannot go out as often, interactions with friends allow for continued societal interaction. Additionally, older adults in declining health who remain in contact with friends show improved psychological well-being.
Forming and maintaining
Friendships are foremost formed by choice, typically on the basis that the parties involved admire each other on an intimate level, enjoying aspects such as commonality and socializing.
Some factors affect most people. For example, most people underestimate how much other people like them. The
liking gap
The liking gap is the disparity between how much a person believes that another person likes them, and that other person's actual opinion. Studies have found that most people underestimate how much other people like them and enjoy their company.
...
can make it difficult to form friendships.
Developmental issues
People with certain types of
developmental disorders
Developmental disorders comprise a group of psychiatric conditions originating in childhood that involve serious impairment in different areas. There are several ways of using this term. The most narrow concept is used in the category "Specific Di ...
may struggle more than usual to make and maintain friendships, especially children with
attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterised by excessive amounts of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity that are pervasive, impairing in multiple contexts, and otherwise age-inap ...
(ADHD),
autism spectrum
The autism spectrum, often referred to as just autism or in the context of a professional diagnosis autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or autism spectrum condition (ASC), is a neurodevelopmental condition (or conditions) characterized by difficulti ...
disorders, or children with
Down syndrome
Down syndrome or Down's syndrome, also known as trisomy 21, is a genetic disorder caused by the presence of all or part of a third copy of chromosome 21. It is usually associated with physical growth delays, mild to moderate intellectual dis ...
.
Health
Studies have found that strong social supports improve a person's prospects for good health and longevity. Conversely, loneliness and a lack of social supports have been linked to an increased risk of
heart disease
Cardiovascular disease (CVD) is a class of diseases that involve the heart or blood vessels. CVD includes coronary artery diseases (CAD) such as angina and myocardial infarction (commonly known as a heart attack). Other CVDs include stroke, hea ...
, viral
infection
An infection is the invasion of tissues by pathogens, their multiplication, and the reaction of host tissues to the infectious agent and the toxins they produce. An infectious disease, also known as a transmissible disease or communicable dise ...
s, and
cancer
Cancer is a group of diseases involving abnormal cell growth with the potential to invade or spread to other parts of the body. These contrast with benign tumors, which do not spread. Possible signs and symptoms include a lump, abnormal b ...
, as well as higher mortality rates overall. Two researchers have even termed friendship networks a "behavioral
vaccine
A vaccine is a biological Dosage form, preparation that provides active acquired immunity to a particular infectious disease, infectious or cancer, malignant disease. The safety and effectiveness of vaccines has been widely studied and verifie ...
" that boosts both physical and mental health.
There is a large body of research linking friendship and health, but the precise reasons for the connection remain unclear. Most of the studies in this area are large
prospective studies
A prospective cohort study is a longitudinal cohort study that follows over time a group of similar individuals (cohorts) who differ with respect to certain factors under study, to determine how these factors affect rates of a certain outcome. F ...
that follow people over time, and while there may be a
correlation
In statistics, correlation or dependence is any statistical relationship, whether causal or not, between two random variables or bivariate data. Although in the broadest sense, "correlation" may indicate any type of association, in statistics ...
between the two variables (friendship and health status), researchers still do not know if there is a cause and effect relationship, such as the notion that good friendships actually improve health. A number of theories have attempted to explain this link. These theories have included that good friends encourage their friends to lead more healthy lifestyles; that good friends encourage their friends to seek help and access services when needed; that good friends enhance their friends' coping skills in dealing with illness and other health problems; and that good friends actually affect physiological pathways that are protective of health.
Mental health
The lack of friendship has been found to play a role in increasing risk of
suicidal ideation
Suicidal ideation, or suicidal thoughts, means having thoughts, ideas, or ruminations about the possibility of ending one's own life.World Health Organization, ''ICD-11 for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics'', ver. 09/2020MB26.A Suicidal ideatio ...
among female adolescents, including having more friends who were not themselves friends with one another. However, no similar effect was observed for males. Having few or no friends is a major indicator in the diagnosis of a range of
mental disorders
A mental disorder, also referred to as a mental illness or psychiatric disorder, is a behavioral or mental pattern that causes significant distress or impairment of personal functioning. Such features may be persistent, relapsing and remitti ...
.
Higher friendship quality directly contributes to self-esteem, self-confidence, and social development.
A
World Happiness Database study found that people with close friendships are happier, although the absolute number of friends did not increase happiness. Other studies have suggested that children who have friendships of a high quality may be protected against the development of certain disorders, such as anxiety and depression. Conversely, having few friends is associated with
dropping out of school, as well as
aggression
Aggression is overt or covert, often harmful, social interaction with the intention of inflicting damage or other harm upon another individual; although it can be channeled into creative and practical outlets for some. It may occur either reacti ...
, adult
crime
In ordinary language, a crime is an unlawful act punishable by a State (polity), state or other authority. The term ''crime'' does not, in modern criminal law, have any simple and universally accepted definition,Farmer, Lindsay: "Crime, definit ...
, and
loneliness
Loneliness is an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation. Loneliness is also described as social paina psychological mechanism which motivates individuals to seek social connections. It is often associated with a perceived lack ...
.
Peer rejection is also associated with lower later aspiration in the
workforce
The workforce or labour force is a concept referring to the Pooling (resource management), pool of human beings either in employment or in unemployment. It is generally used to describe those working for a single types of companies, company or ...
, and participation in social activities, while higher levels of friendship was associated with higher adult
self-esteem
Self-esteem is confidence in one's own worth or abilities. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself (for example, "I am loved", "I am worthy") as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame. Smith and Mackie (2007) d ...
.
Dissolution
The dissolution of a friendship may be viewed as a personal rejection, or may be the result of natural changes over time, as friends grow more distant both physically and emotionally. The disruption of friendships has been associated with increased
guilt,
anger
Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat.
A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, su ...
and
depression, and may be highly stressful events, especially in childhood. However, potential negative effects can be mitigated if the dissolution of a friendship is replaced with another close relationship.
Demographics
Friends tend to be more similar to one another in terms of age, gender, behavior,
substance abuse
Substance abuse, also known as drug abuse, is the use of a drug in amounts or by methods which are harmful to the individual or others. It is a form of substance-related disorder. Differing definitions of drug abuse are used in public health, ...
, personal disposition, and academic performance.
In
ethnically diverse countries, there is broad evidence that children and adolescents tend to form friendships with others of the same race or ethnicity, beginning in
preschool
A preschool, also known as nursery school, pre-primary school, or play school or creche, is an educational establishment or learning space offering early childhood education to children before they begin compulsory education at primary school ...
, and peaking in middle or late childhood.
As a result of social separation and confinement of the sexes, friendships between men and women have little presence in recorded history, having only become a widely accepted occurrence in the 20th century.
Gender differences
In general, female-female friendship interactions among children mostly tend to focus on interpersonal connections and
mutual support. In contrast, male-male interaction tends to be more focused on
social status
Social status is the level of social value a person is considered to possess. More specifically, it refers to the relative level of respect, honour, assumed competence, and deference accorded to people, groups, and organizations in a society. Stat ...
. As a result, they may actively discourage the expression of emotional needs.
Females report more anxiety, jealousy, and relational victimization and less stability related to their friendships. Males, on the other hand, report higher levels of physical victimization. Nevertheless, males and females tend to report relative satisfaction levels with their friendships.
Women tend to be more expressive and intimate in their same-sex friendships and have a smaller range of friends.
Males are more likely to define intimacy in terms of shared physical experiences. In contrast, females are more likely to define it in shared emotional ones. Males are less likely to make emotional or personal disclosures to other males because they could use this information against them. However, they will disclose this information to females (as they are not in competition with them), and males tend to regard friendships with females as more meaningful, intimate, and pleasant. Male-male friendships are generally more like alliances, while female-female friendships are much more attachment-based. As a result, this also means that the end of male-male friendships tends to be less emotionally upsetting than that of female-female friendships.
Women tend to be more socially adept than their male peers among older adults. As a result, many older men may rely upon a female companion, such as a spouse, to compensate for their comparative lack of social skills.
One study found that women in Europe and North America were slightly more likely than men to self-report having a best friend.
Culture
Which relationships count as true friendships, rather than as an acquaintance or a co-worker, varies by culture. In English-speaking cultures, it is not unusual for people to include weaker relationships as being friends.
In other cultures, such as the Russian and Polish cultures, only the most significant relationships are considered friends. A Russian might have one or two friends plus a large number of "pals" or acquaintances; a Canadian in similar circumstances might count all of these relationships as being friends.
In
Western culture
Leonardo da Vinci's ''Vitruvian Man''. Based on the correlations of ideal Body proportions">human proportions with geometry described by the ancient Roman architect Vitruvius in Book III of his treatise ''De architectura''.
image:Plato Pio-Cle ...
s, friendships are often seen as lesser to familial or romantic.
In practice, friendships in Ancient Greece were more utilitarian than affectionate, being based upon obligation and reliance, though they held a broad view on the variance of friendship.
Aristotle
Aristotle (; grc-gre, Ἀριστοτέλης ''Aristotélēs'', ; 384–322 BC) was a Greek philosopher and polymath during the Classical period in Ancient Greece. Taught by Plato, he was the founder of the Peripatetic school of phil ...
wrote of there being three kinds of friendships: those in recognition of pleasure, those in recognition of advantage, and those in recognition of virtue.
When discussing taboos of friendship it was found that Chinese respondents found more than their British counterparts.
Interspecies
![CUTE FRIENDSHIP](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/68/CUTE_FRIENDSHIP.JPG)
Friendship is found among animals of higher intelligence, such as higher
mammal
Mammals () are a group of vertebrate animals constituting the class Mammalia (), characterized by the presence of mammary glands which in females produce milk for feeding (nursing) their young, a neocortex (a region of the brain), fur or ...
s and some
bird
Birds are a group of warm-blooded vertebrates constituting the class Aves (), characterised by feathers, toothless beaked jaws, the laying of hard-shelled eggs, a high metabolic rate, a four-chambered heart, and a strong yet lightweigh ...
s. Cross-species friendships are common between humans and
domestic animals, such as a pet snake. Cross-species friendships may also occur between two non-human animals, such as
dog
The dog (''Canis familiaris'' or ''Canis lupus familiaris'') is a domesticated descendant of the wolf. Also called the domestic dog, it is derived from the extinct Pleistocene wolf, and the modern wolf is the dog's nearest living relative. Do ...
s and
cats.
See also
*
Blood brother
*
Boston marriage
*
Bromance
A bromance is a very close and non-sexual relationship between two or more men. It is an exceptionally tight, affectional, homosocial male bonding relationship exceeding that of usual friendship, and is distinguished from normal friendship by ...
*
Casual relationship
*
Cross-sex friendships
A cross-sex friendship is a platonic relationship between two unrelated people of differing sexes or gender. There are multiple types of cross-sex friendships, all defined by whether or not each party has a romantic attraction to each other, ...
*
Female bonding
In ethology and social science, female bonding is the formation of a close personal relationship and patterns of friendship, attachment, and cooperation in females. Examples
Within the context of human relationships the definition and display of f ...
*
Fraternization
*
Frenemy
"Frenemy" (also spelled "frienemy") is an oxymoron and a portmanteau of "friend" and "enemy" that refers to "a person with whom one is friendly, despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry" or "a person who combines the characteristics of a friend ...
*
Friend of a friend
In sociology, a friend of a friend is a human contact that exists because of a mutual friend. Person C is a friend of a friend of person A when there is a person B that is a friend of both A and C. Thus the human relation "friend of a friend" is ...
*
Friendship Day
Friendship Day (also known as International Friendship Day or Friend's Day) is a day in several countries for celebrating friendship. It was initially promoted by the greeting card industry; evidence from social networking sites shows a re ...
*
Imaginary friend
Imaginary friends (also known as pretend friends, invisible friends or made-up friends) are a psychological and social phenomenon where a friendship or other interpersonal relationship takes place in the imagination rather than physical reality.
...
*
Intimate relationship
*
Kalyāṇa-mittatā (spiritual friendship)
*
Male bonding
*
Nicomachean Ethics, Books VIII and IX: Friendship and partnership
*
Platonic love
Platonic love (often lowercased as platonic love) is a type of love in which sexual desire or romantic features are nonexistent or has been suppressed or sublimated, but it means more than simple friendship.
The term is derived from the nam ...
*
Romantic friendship
A romantic friendship, passionate friendship, or affectionate friendship is a very close but typically non-sexual relationship between friends, often involving a degree of physical closeness beyond that which is common in contemporary Western ...
*
Social connection
*
Theorem on friends and strangers
The theorem on friends and strangers is a mathematical theorem in an area of mathematics called Ramsey theory.
Statement
Suppose a party has six people. Consider any two of them. They might be meeting for the first time—in which case we will ...
*
Womance
A womance is a close but non-sexual, non-romantic relationship between two or more women. It is an exceptionally tight affectional, homosocial female bonding relationship exceeding that of usual friendship, and is distinguished by a particularly ...
Notes
References
*
Further reading
*
*
*
*
Brian Hare
Brian Hare is a professor of evolutionary anthropology at Duke University. He researches the evolution of cognition by studying both humans, our close relatives the primates (especially bonobos and chimpanzees), and species whose cognition converg ...
and
Vanessa Woods
Vanessa Woods (born 1977) is an Australian science writer, author and journalist, and is the main Australian/New Zealand feature writer for the Discovery Channel.
A graduate of the Australian National University with a Master's degree in Scien ...
, "
Survival of the Friendliest
''Survival of the Friendliest: Understanding Our Origins and Rediscovering Our Common Humanity'' is a book by anthropologist Brian Hare and writer Vanessa Woods, first published in 2020, based on Hare's research hypothesis of human self-domestica ...
: Natural selection for hypersocial traits enabled Earth's apex species to best Neandertals and other competitors", ''
Scientific American
''Scientific American'', informally abbreviated ''SciAm'' or sometimes ''SA'', is an American popular science magazine. Many famous scientists, including Albert Einstein and Nikola Tesla, have contributed articles to it. In print since 1845, it i ...
'', vol. 323, no. 2 (August 2020), pp. 58–63.
*
*
*
External links
*
BBC Radio 4 series "In Our Time", on ''Friendship'', 2 March 2006Friendshipat the ''
Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy
The ''Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy'' (''SEP'') combines an online encyclopedia of philosophy with peer-reviewed publication of original papers in philosophy, freely accessible to Internet users. It is maintained by Stanford University. Eac ...
''
{{Authority control
Kindness
Virtue
Philosophy of love
Group processes
Human activities