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"EPICAC" is a short story in the book ''
Welcome to the Monkey House ''Welcome to the Monkey House'' is a collection of 25 short stories written by Kurt Vonnegut, published by Delacorte in August 1968. The stories range from wartime epics to futuristic thrillers, given with satire and Vonnegut's unique edge. The s ...
'' by
Kurt Vonnegut Kurt Vonnegut Jr. (November 11, 1922 – April 11, 2007) was an American writer known for his satirical and darkly humorous novels. In a career spanning over 50 years, he published fourteen novels, three short-story collections, five plays, and ...
. It was the first story to feature the fictional EPICAC computer later used in Vonnegut's novel ''
Player Piano A player piano (also known as a pianola) is a self-playing piano containing a pneumatic or electro-mechanical mechanism, that operates the piano action via programmed music recorded on perforated paper or metallic rolls, with more modern i ...
'' in
1952 Events January–February * January 26 – Black Saturday in Egypt: Rioters burn Cairo's central business district, targeting British and upper-class Egyptian businesses. * February 6 ** Princess Elizabeth, Duchess of Edinburgh, becomes m ...
. It was published on 25 November 1950, for ''
Collier's Weekly ''Collier's'' was an American general interest magazine founded in 1888 by Peter Fenelon Collier. It was launched as ''Collier's Once a Week'', then renamed in 1895 as ''Collier's Weekly: An Illustrated Journal'', shortened in 1905 to ''Colli ...
'', and reprinted in the February 1983 ''
PC Magazine ''PC Magazine'' (shortened as ''PCMag'') is an American computer magazine published by Ziff Davis. A print edition was published from 1982 to January 2009. Publication of online editions started in late 1994 and have continued to the present d ...
''. The story was published just four years and nine months after the world's first electronic general-purpose computer,
ENIAC ENIAC (; Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer) was the first programmable, electronic, general-purpose digital computer, completed in 1945. There were other computers that had these features, but the ENIAC had all of them in one packa ...
, went on-line. ENIAC was the inspiration for his story. The title is a near-
homonym In linguistics, homonyms are words which are homographs (words that share the same spelling, regardless of pronunciation), or homophones (equivocal words, that share the same pronunciation, regardless of spelling), or both. Using this definition, ...
of "
ipecac Syrup of ipecac (), or simply ipecac, is a drug that was once widely used as an expectorant (in low doses) and a rapid-acting emetic (in higher doses). It is obtained from the dried rhizome and roots of the ipecacuanha plant (''Carapichea ipecac ...
."


Plot summary

The unnamed first-person narrator begins by discussing EPICAC's origins and why he wants to tell EPICAC's story. The narrator says that EPICAC is his best friend, even though it is a machine. As far as the narrator is concerned, the reason EPICAC no longer exists is because it became more human than its designers originally intended. The narrator works on EPICAC during the night shift with fellow mathematician Pat Kilgallen, with whom the narrator falls in love. He decides to ask Pat to marry him, but because he is so stoic during the proposal, Pat declines. In order to show that he can in fact be "sweet" and "poetic" as Pat has requested, the narrator tries yet fails at writing poetry. The narrator asks EPICAC's opinion on how he should proceed with Pat. EPICAC initially does not understand the terms the narrator uses, such as "girl" and "love" and "poetry". Once the narrator provides EPICAC with proper dictionary definitions, EPICAC generates a poem for Pat. The narrator takes this poem and passes it off as his own. Pat is so delighted that she and the narrator kiss for the first time. The next night, the narrator asks EPICAC to write a poem about their kiss, and EPICAC delivers another poem for the narrator to claim as his own. When Pat reads this poem she is so overwhelmed that she can do little else but cry. The following night the narrator asks EPICAC to devise a marriage proposal poem for Pat. However, instead of simply creating poetry as with previous requests, EPICAC surprises the narrator by saying that it would like to marry Pat. The narrator realizes that EPICAC has fallen in love with Pat and tries to explain to EPICAC that Pat cannot love a computer. EPICAC resigns itself to the fact that it cannot be with Pat, and the narrator realizes now that he cannot ask EPICAC for any more poems. He finds Pat and asks her to marry him again, citing his previous poems as expressions of his feelings. Pat accepts his marriage proposal, but adds the stipulation that for every anniversary, the narrator must write her another poem. The narrator agrees because he will have a full year to devise another way to create poetry. The next day the narrator receives an urgent call from his supervisor. He rushes to the room where EPICAC is housed to discover Dr. Von Kleigstadt and a huge group of military men crowded around the remains of EPICAC. During the night, EPICAC destroyed itself, effectively committing suicide because it could not be with the woman it loved. It did, however, print out 500 original love poems as a wedding present for the couple. The narrator now has enough anniversary poems to keep his vow to Pat for centuries to come, and is relieved by this gesture from his friend.


Characters


EPICAC

EPICAC is the largest, smartest computer on Earth and was built by Dr. Von Kleigstadt to solve complex worldly problems. EPICAC writes poetry for the narrator to give to his sweetheart Pat in order to woo her into marriage. EPICAC learns to love through this poetry-writing endeavor and falls in love with Pat; however, once EPICAC realizes that Pat cannot love a computer and is actually in love with the narrator, he commits suicide by short circuiting himself. * EPICAC's Birth and Statistics: ** Created by Dr. Von Kleigstadt ** Cost $776,434,927.54 ** About an acre in size ** Weighs 7 tons ** Composed of "electronic tubes, wires, switches, housed in a bank of steel cabinets" (297) ** Plugs into a 110-volt A.C. line ** Built for the government, or "The Brass", to solve complex worldly problems, specifically those associated with war, that would otherwise be too difficult for humans to solve ** Housed at "Wyandotte College" in the physics building on the fourth floor


Others

* Narrator - mathematician who works on EPICAC during the night shift and wants to marry Pat Kilgallen. He uses EPICAC's poetry to win Pat's hand in marriage. * Pat Kilgallen - female mathematician who works on EPICAC with the narrator. She refuses to marry the narrator because he lacks emotional depth, but relents when the narrator reads her "his" poetry. * Dr. Von Kleigstadt - the inventor of EPICAC. He fires the narrator for allegedly leaving EPICAC on overnight and thus causing EPICAC's untimely death. * The Major General and platoon of Brigadiers, Colonels, and Majors - the group of people who are present in the room with EPICAC, along with Dr. Kleigstadt, when the narrator walks in and discovers that he has caused EPICACs suicide.


In Other Media

A live-action adaptation of the story, starring
Bill Bixby Wilfred Bailey Everett Bixby III (January 22, 1934 – November 21, 1993) professionally known as Bill Bixby, was an American actor, director, producer, and frequent game-show panellist. Bixby's career spanned more than three decades, includi ...
, was a segment of ''
Rex Harrison Sir Reginald Carey "Rex" Harrison (5 March 1908 – 2 June 1990) was an English actor. Harrison began his career on the stage in 1924. He made his West End debut in 1936 appearing in the Terence Rattigan play ''French Without Tears'', in what ...
Presents Stories of Love'', a 1974 pilot for an anthology TV series.


See also

*
Electric Dreams (film) ''Electric Dreams'' is a 1984 science fiction romantic comedy film directed by Steve Barron (in his feature film directorial debut) and written by Rusty Lemorande. The film is set in San Francisco and depicts a love triangle among a man, a woman ...


References

Vonnegut, Kurt. "EPICAC." ''Welcome to the Monkey House''. New York: Dial Press, 1950. Whitmer, Clair. "ENIAC fetes 50-year birthday. CNET News.com 15 Feb. 1996. http://news.cnet.com/ENIAC-fetes-50-year-birthday/2100-1001_3-205180.html


Notes


External links

* {{DEFAULTSORT:EPICAC 1950 short stories Short stories by Kurt Vonnegut Science fiction short stories Works originally published in Collier's