Drunken Fireworks
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''Drunken Fireworks'' is an
audiobook An audiobook (or a talking book) is a recording of a book or other work being read out loud. A reading of the complete text is described as "unabridged", while readings of shorter versions are abridgements. Spoken audio has been available in sc ...
novella A novella is a narrative prose fiction whose length is shorter than most novels, but longer than most short stories. The English word ''novella'' derives from the Italian ''novella'' meaning a short story related to true (or apparently so) facts ...
written by
Stephen King Stephen Edwin King (born September 21, 1947) is an American author of horror, supernatural fiction, suspense, crime, science-fiction, and fantasy novels. Described as the "King of Horror", a play on his surname and a reference to his high s ...
and read by
Tim Sample Timothy J. Sample (born ) is a New England humorist, famous both for his presentation and his Maine accent. He has sold well over a million copies of his books, albums, and videos, including four albums and a video for the Bert and I company. I ...
released in June 2015. It is a humorous story that predominantly takes the form of a police statement given by the protagonist, Alden McCausland, to the Castle County police chief Andy Clutterbuck, followed by a closing conversation between Alden and the officers present. The story followsthe McCauslands coming into "
new money ''Nouveau riche'' (; ) is a term used, usually in a derogatory way, to describe those whose wealth has been acquired within their own generation, rather than by familial inheritance. The equivalent English term is the "new rich" or "new money" ( ...
" and a developing yearly competition of
one-upmanship One-upmanship, also called "one-upsmanship", is the art or practice of successively outdoing a competitor. The term was first used in the title of a book by Stephen Potter, published in 1952 as a follow-up to ''The Theory and Practice of Gamesmans ...
dubbed the "Fourth of July arms race" with their
old money Old money is "the inherited wealth of established upper-class families (i.e. gentry, patriciate)" or "a person, family, or lineage possessing inherited wealth". The term typically describes a social class of the rich who have been able to ma ...
neighbors across the lake, the Massimos, who may or may not be "
connected Connected may refer to: Film and television * ''Connected'' (2008 film), a Hong Kong remake of the American movie ''Cellular'' * '' Connected: An Autoblogography About Love, Death & Technology'', a 2011 documentary film * ''Connected'' (2015 TV ...
". What starts as a friendly, competitive fireworks display competition escalates each year until it ends in disaster. The story was later published in print form as part of King's collection ''
The Bazaar of Bad Dreams ''The Bazaar of Bad Dreams'' is a short fiction collection by Stephen King, published on November 3, 2015. This is King's sixth collection of short stories and his tenth collection overall. One of the stories, "Obits", won the 2016 Edgar Award fo ...
'' in November 2015.


Plot

At the Castle County police station, Alden McCausland, a blue-collar mechanic, recounts the events leading up to the night before. Years ago, McCausland's father purchased a cabin on Abenaki Lake as a second home. Being on the run-down west side, it was a
fixer-upper In real estate vernacular, a fixer-upper is a property that will require repair (redecoration, reconstruction, or redesign), though it usually can be lived in or used as it is. They are popular with buyers who wish to raise the property's potent ...
from the start. Even after it was paid off, the family couldn't afford to fix it up much, and then Alden's father passed away. Alden and "Ma" later received a substantial life insurance settlement, followed by a $250,000 winning
scratch-off A scratchcard (also called a scratch off, scratch ticket, scratcher, scratchum, scratch-it, scratch game, scratch-and-win, instant game, instant lottery, scratchie, lot scrots, or scritchies) is a card designed for competitions, often made of ...
ticket. Over time they fixed up the cabin, left their jobs in town, and moved in permanently—as well as drinking more frequently. The Massimo family had a mansion on the east side of the lake opposite the McCauslands called Twelve Pines Camp. Ma claimed that they were "connected" and real rich through ill-gotten gains instead of "accident rich" like the McCauslands. When Paul Massimo brought his family to town, they filled up their place. The Massimos knew how to have fun with cookouts, football games, singing and a fair amount of drinking themselves. One of the older boys in the family looked a little like
Ben Affleck Benjamin Géza Affleck (born August 15, 1972) is an American actor and filmmaker. His accolades include two Academy Awards, three Golden Globe Awards and a Volpi Cup. Affleck began his career as a child when he starred in the PBS educationa ...
and carried a trumpet on his hip. He played the trumpet along with their songs, and closed each night by playing " Taps". Ma hated the trumpet and didn't think he was very good, once saying, "
Dizzy Gillespie John Birks "Dizzy" Gillespie (; October 21, 1917 – January 6, 1993) was an American jazz trumpeter, bandleader, composer, educator and singer. He was a trumpet virtuoso and improviser, building on the virtuosic style of Roy Eldridge but addi ...
he ain't. Someone ought to dip that trumpet in olive oil and stick it up his ass. He could fart out "
God Bless America "God Bless America" is an American patriotic song written by Irving Berlin during World War I in 1918 and revised by him in the run up to World War II in 1938. The later version was notably recorded by Kate Smith, becoming her signature s ...
.'" The year 2012 was the start of what became the "Fourth of July arms race". Alden purchased some
sparklers A sparkler is a type of hand-held firework that burns slowly while emitting bright, intense colored flames, sparks, and other effects. Sparklers are particularly popular with children. In the United Kingdom, a sparkler is often used by child ...
,
firecracker A firecracker (cracker, noise maker, banger) is a small explosive device primarily designed to produce a large amount of noise, especially in the form of a loud bang, usually for celebration or entertainment; any visual effect is incidental t ...
s and cherry bombs from Pop Anderson at his local flea mart. After opening the Fourth of July celebration with some drinks, Alden and Ma lit up their sparklers and waved them around. The young Massimo children across the lake got excited and asked for their own sparklers, which seemed to burn brighter and longer than the McCausland's, prompting the trumpeter to blow out— wah-wah—seeming to boast the fact. This angered Ma, who wanted to set off their firecrackers to step up. The Massimos matched with even more firecrackers set off by all the children, followed by another trumpeted—"waah waah—Try again." Confident the cherry bombs would out-do them, Ma lit them off only to be outdone by a pair of M-80 booms, and another three blasts: "Waaaah ... waaaah ... waaaah." Ma and Alden looked at each other and agreed to get them next year.


Reception

The novella was reviewed by '' AudioFile'', ''
Publishers Weekly ''Publishers Weekly'' (''PW'') is an American weekly trade news magazine targeted at publishers, librarians, booksellers, and literary agents. Published continuously since 1872, it has carried the tagline, "The International News Magazine of B ...
'', ''
Portland Press Herald The ''Portland Press Herald/Maine Sunday Telegram'' is a morning daily newspaper with a website that serves southern Maine and is focused on the greater metropolitan area around Portland, Maine, in the United States. Founded in 1862, its roots e ...
'', ''
Sarasota Herald-Tribune The ''Sarasota Herald-Tribune'' is a daily newspaper, located in Sarasota, Florida, founded in 1925 as the ''Sarasota Herald''. History The newspaper was owned by The New York Times Company from 1982 to 2012. It was then owned by Halifax Media ...
'', and
Bev Vincent Bev Vincent is an essayist and a literary critic, he also is the author of ''The Road to the Dark Tower'' and ''The Stephen King Illustrated Companion.'' Selected bibliography *''The Road to the Dark Tower'' (2005, Cemetery Dance Publications) ...
at Cemetery Dance Publications.


Adaptation

At one point, a film adaptation was in development, optioned by
Rabbit Bandini Productions Rabbit Bandini Productions is a film and television production company founded in 2003 by actors/filmmakers James Franco and Vince Jolivette. The name comes from combining the titular hero from John Updike's Rabbit tetralogy with the hero of John ...
and Rubicon Entertainment. The announcement came in June 2016, with
James Franco James Edward Franco (born April 19, 1978) is an American actor and filmmaker. For his role in '' 127 Hours'' (2010), he was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actor. Franco is known for his roles in films, such as Sam Raimi's ''Spider-Ma ...
set to star at the time.


References

{{Bazaar of Bad Dreams 2010s novellas Audiobooks Comedy books Novellas by Stephen King