''The Manipulated Man'' (german: Der Dressierte Mann) is a 1971 book by author
Esther Vilar, originally written in German and translated to English by Eva Borneman. The main idea behind the book is that women are not
oppressed by men but rather control men to their advantage. A third edition of the book was released in January 2009.
Synopsis
The book argues that, contrary to common
feminist
Feminism is a range of socio-political movements and ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. Feminism incorporates the position that society prioritizes the male po ...
and
women's rights rhetoric, women in industrialized cultures are not oppressed, but rather exploit a well-established system of manipulating men.
Vilar writes, "Men have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way
Pavlov conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves. As compensation for their labours men are given periodic use of a woman's vagina." The book contends that young boys are encouraged to associate their
masculinity
Masculinity (also called manhood or manliness) is a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles associated with men and boys. Masculinity can be theoretically understood as socially constructed, and there is also evidence that some behaviors con ...
with their ability to be
sexually intimate
Human sexual activity, human sexual practice or human sexual behaviour is the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality. People engage in a variety of sexual acts, ranging from activities done alone (e.g., masturbation) ...
with a woman, and that a woman can control a man by socially empowering herself to be the gate-keeper to his sense of masculinity. Vilar states that this has been going on for some time.
The author says that
social definitions and norms, such as the idea that women are weak, are constructed by women with their needs in mind. Vilar explains how it works: if women are viewed as weak, less is expected of them; and therefore they are given more leeway in society than men. Vilar states that women are generally "
gold diggers
Gold digger is a term for a person, typically a woman, who engages in a type of transactional relationship for money rather than love. If it turns into marriage, it is a type of marriage of convenience.
Etymology and usage
The term "gold ...
" who attempt to extract money and other material resources from men. One means by which women control men to effect this transfer of resources is
praise. Women dole out praise to men only when their needs are met in some way.
Another means of manipulation is the calculated use of
emotional displays. Vilar claims that women can control their emotional reactions whereas men cannot, and that women create overly-dramatized emotional reactions to get their way: they "blackmail" men emotionally. Women also use sex as a tool of manipulation and control but also traditional concepts of
love and
romance, which are seen more positively than
sex, to control men's sexual lives. Vilar writes that men gain nothing from
marriage and that women coerce them into it under the pretense that it fulfills their romantic desires.
The book closes with Vilar stating that it would be difficult to change the situation by appealing to women, as women are unsympathetic to the plight of men, and unwilling to give up their comfortable position in society. It is up to men to see past the deception and
emotional blackmail and subject it to open criticism before any meaningful changes can occur.
Reception
''The Manipulated Man'' was quite popular at the time of its release, in part due to the considerable press coverage it received.
Vilar appeared on ''
The Tonight Show'' on February 21, 1973, to discuss her book. In 1975 she was invited to a televised debate by
WDR WDR may refer to:
* Waddell & Reed (stock ticker: WDR), an American asset management and financial planning company
* Walt Disney Records, an American record label of the Disney Music Group
* WDR neuron, a type of neuron involved in pain signall ...
with
Alice Schwarzer, who was considered as the leading representative of the women's movement in Germany at that time. The debate provoked controversy, in particular for its high degree of aggression. At one point, for example, Schwarzer claimed Vilar was "not only
sexist
Sexism is prejudice or discrimination based on one's sex or gender. Sexism can affect anyone, but it primarily affects women and girls.There is a clear and broad consensus among academic scholars in multiple fields that sexism refers primaril ...
, but
fascist
Fascism is a far-right, Authoritarianism, authoritarian, ultranationalism, ultra-nationalist political Political ideology, ideology and Political movement, movement,: "extreme militaristic nationalism, contempt for electoral democracy and pol ...
", and compared her book with the
Nazi newspaper ''
Der Stürmer''.
Vilar stated that she received
death threats over the book: "So I hadn't imagined broadly enough the isolation I would find myself in after writing this book. Nor had I envisaged the consequences which it would have for subsequent writing and even for my private life—violent threats have not ceased to this date."
Sales
According to research from the Spanish Book Institute, the Spanish translated version (under the title ''El Varón Domado'') was the third-most popular book sold in Spain in 1975.
[ Folha de S.Paulo]
Ilustrada, p.5, January 28, 1976 (in Portuguese)
- Retrieved December 29, 2011.
See also
*
Antifeminism
*
Men Going Their Own Way
References
External links
*
Pinter & Martin English publishers
{{DEFAULTSORT:Manipulated Man
1971 non-fiction books
Criticism of feminism
Gender studies literature
German books
Men's studies literature
Masculist books