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"Definitions" is the first episode of the fifth season of the '' How I Met Your Mother'' TV series and 89th episode overall. It originally aired on September 21, 2009.


Plot

Future Ted Theodore Evelyn Mosby is a fictional character and the protagonist in the American sitcom ''How I Met Your Mother'', portrayed by Josh Radnor. He serves as the show's narrator from the future, voiced by Bob Saget, as he tells his children the " ...
explains how nervous he was his first day of teaching, when he was trying to figure out what kind of teacher he would be: formal disciplinarian or laid-back peer. Before the first class,
Marshall Marshall may refer to: Places Australia * Marshall, Victoria, a suburb of Geelong, Victoria Canada * Marshall, Saskatchewan * The Marshall, a mountain in British Columbia Liberia * Marshall, Liberia Marshall Islands * Marshall Islands, an i ...
gives
Ted TED may refer to: Economics and finance * TED spread between U.S. Treasuries and Eurodollar Education * ''Türk Eğitim Derneği'', the Turkish Education Association ** TED Ankara College Foundation Schools, Turkey ** Transvaal Education Depa ...
the gift of a worn leather fedora and whip, just like fictional professor
Indiana Jones ''Indiana Jones'' is an American media franchise based on the adventures of Dr. Henry Walton "Indiana" Jones, Jr., a fictional professor of archaeology, that began in 1981 with the film '' Raiders of the Lost Ark''. In 1984, a prequel, '' Th ...
. That night, Ted has a dream about his first day. However, the dream quickly becomes a nightmare, causing Ted to wake in a panic and find
Barney Barney may refer to: People and fictional characters * Barney (given name), a list of people and fictional characters * Barney (surname), a list of people Film and television * the title character of ''Barney & Friends'', an American live actio ...
rifling through his nightstand for condoms. At the first day of class, Ted quickly becomes anxious and alternates between being stern authority figure and laid-back buddy. Recalling his dream and deciding to take Barney's advice to not take any questions during the first class, Ted fails to learn from his students that he is in the wrong classroom. When the real professor arrives and announces that the class is for Economics, a humiliated Ted races across campus to his correct classroom. Exhausted and embarrassed, Ted does not have the energy to think about what kind of teacher he will be, and simply starts teaching, which turns out well. Future Ted adds that the mother had been in the Economics class, though he does not reveal where she had been sitting. Meanwhile, after Barney and Robin finally confess their feelings towards each other,
Lily ''Lilium'' () is a genus of Herbaceous plant, herbaceous flowering plants growing from bulbs, all with large prominent flowers. They are the true lilies. Lilies are a group of flowering plants which are important in culture and literature in mu ...
is ecstatic to have another couple to
double date Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. It falls into the categor ...
with, but the two quickly tell her they are not dating. However, following the summer, they are caught making out on Ted's couch and admit that they spent the summer secretly
having sex Sexual intercourse (or coitus or copulation) is a sexual activity typically involving the insertion and Pelvic thrust, thrusting of the penis into the vagina for Sexual stimulation, sexual pleasure or sexual reproduction, reproduction.Sexual i ...
together. They say they have tried to have some discussion about their relationship ("the Talk"), only to discover that they hate talking about feelings and defining relationships. Later that night, Marshall's law school buddy
Brad Brad may refer to: * Brad (given name), a masculine given name Places * Brad, Hunedoara, a city in Hunedoara County, Romania * Brad, a village in Berești-Bistrița Commune, Bacău County, Romania * Brad, a village in Filipeni, Bacău, Romania * ...
asks Robin out on a date to a hockey game. At the arena, Robin is enthusiastic about the game, but admits that she feels weird going out with Brad, because she has feelings for Barney. Brad tells Robin she needs to have "the Talk" with Barney, and suddenly, they are put on the JumboTron for a public kiss. Back at the apartment, Ted tells Barney that Robin is already his girlfriend according to his "
Gremlins ''Gremlins'' is a 1984 American black comedy horror film directed by Joe Dante, written by Chris Columbus, and starring Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Hoyt Axton, Polly Holliday, and Frances Lee McCain, with Howie Mandel providing the voice ...
" rule. During a tuxedo-themed night at the bar, Barney explains you cannot get a woman wet (let her shower in your house), expose her to sunlight (date her before sunset), or feed her after midnight (breakfast together), or she will turn into your girlfriend. Barney rushes to the arena and interrupts the
New York Rangers The New York Rangers are a professional ice hockey team based in the New York City borough of Manhattan. They compete in the National Hockey League (NHL) as a member of the Metropolitan Division in the Eastern Conference. The team plays its home ...
"Kiss Cam" by ineffectually punching Brad in the face. After apologizing, he and Robin are still unable to admit that they are dating. Back at the apartment, after another night of sex, Robin tries to leave the room, but the doorknob detaches. Lily reveals that she sabotaged the door to force them to define their relationship. After several notes that fail to satisfy Lily, they finally sit down and have "the Talk". They recall their bad experiences in relationships and agree they are not good at them, but do not want to stop having sex with each other. They decide to lie and tell Lily that they are boyfriend and girlfriend, though the lie clearly has elements of sincerity. Lily lets them out, and Barney and Robin go out to brunch. When Ted points out to Lily that Robin and Barney are lying to her, she responds that they do not realize they are not lying to each other, as she watches them holding hands together. Later that night, after being left out of Tuxedo Night by Ted and Barney, Marshall shows up dressed to the nines at MacLaren's.


Critical response

Donna Bowman of ''
The A.V. Club ''The A.V. Club'' is an American online newspaper and entertainment website featuring reviews, interviews, and other articles that examine films, music, television, books, games, and other elements of pop-culture media. ''The A.V. Club'' was cre ...
'' rated the episode B+ Brian Zoromski of
IGN ''IGN'' (formerly ''Imagine Games Network'') is an American video game and entertainment media website operated by IGN Entertainment Inc., a subsidiary of Ziff Davis, Inc. The company's headquarters is located in San Francisco's SoMa distri ...
gave the episode 9 out of 10.


References


External links

* {{How I Met Your Mother episodes, 5 How I Met Your Mother (season 5) episodes 2009 American television episodes