Coming Out
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Coming out of the closet, often shortened to coming out, is a
metaphor A metaphor is a figure of speech that, for rhetorical effect, directly refers to one thing by mentioning another. It may provide (or obscure) clarity or identify hidden similarities between two different ideas. Metaphors are often compared wit ...
used to describe
LGBT ' is an initialism that stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. In use since the 1990s, the initialism, as well as some of its common variants, functions as an umbrella term for sexuality and gender identity. The LGBT term is a ...
people's
self-disclosure Self-disclosure is a process of communication by which one person reveals information about themselves to another. The information can be descriptive or evaluative, and can include thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, ...
of their
sexual orientation Sexual orientation is an enduring pattern of romantic or sexual attraction (or a combination of these) to persons of the opposite sex or gender, the same sex or gender, or to both sexes or more than one gender. These attractions are generall ...
,
romantic orientation A person's romantic orientation, also called affectional orientation, is the classification of the sex or gender with which a person experiences romantic attraction towards or is likely to have a romantic relationship with. The term is used alo ...
, or
gender identity Gender identity is the personal sense of one's own gender. Gender identity can correlate with a person's assigned sex or can differ from it. In most individuals, the various biological determinants of sex are congruent, and consistent with the i ...
. Framed and debated as a
privacy Privacy (, ) is the ability of an individual or group to seclude themselves or information about themselves, and thereby express themselves selectively. The domain of privacy partially overlaps with security, which can include the concepts of a ...
issue, coming out of the closet is experienced variously as a psychological process or journey;
decision-making In psychology, decision-making (also spelled decision making and decisionmaking) is regarded as the Cognition, cognitive process resulting in the selection of a belief or a course of action among several possible alternative options. It could be ...
or
risk-taking In simple terms, risk is the possibility of something bad happening. Risk involves uncertainty about the effects/implications of an activity with respect to something that humans value (such as health, well-being, wealth, property or the environme ...
; a strategy or plan; a mass or public event; a
speech act In the philosophy of language and linguistics, speech act is something expressed by an individual that not only presents information but performs an action as well. For example, the phrase "I would like the kimchi; could you please pass it to me?" ...
and a matter of
personal identity Personal identity is the unique numerical identity of a person over time. Discussions regarding personal identity typically aim to determine the necessary and sufficient conditions under which a person at one time and a person at another time can ...
; a
rite of passage A rite of passage is a ceremony or ritual of the passage which occurs when an individual leaves one group to enter another. It involves a significant change of status in society. In cultural anthropology the term is the Anglicisation of ''rite ...
;
liberation Liberation or liberate may refer to: Film and television * ''Liberation'' (film series), a 1970–1971 series about the Great Patriotic War * "Liberation" (''The Flash''), a TV episode * "Liberation" (''K-9''), an episode Gaming * '' Liberati ...
or
emancipation Emancipation generally means to free a person from a previous restraint or legal disability. More broadly, it is also used for efforts to procure economic and social rights, political rights or equality, often for a specifically disenfranchis ...
from
oppression Oppression is malicious or unjust treatment or exercise of power, often under the guise of governmental authority or cultural opprobrium. Oppression may be overt or covert, depending on how it is practiced. Oppression refers to discrimination w ...
; an ordeal; a means toward feeling
gay pride LGBT pride (also known as gay pride or simply pride) is the promotion of the self-affirmation, dignity, equality, and increased visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people as a social group. Pride, as opposed to sham ...
instead of
shame Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion often associated with negative self-evaluation; motivation to quit; and feelings of pain, exposure, distrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness. Definition Shame is a discrete, basic emotion, d ...
and
social stigma Social stigma is the disapproval of, or discrimination against, an individual or group based on perceived characteristics that serve to distinguish them from other members of a society. Social stigmas are commonly related to culture, gender, rac ...
; or even a career-threatening act. Author
Steven Seidman Steven Seidman (born October 17, 1948) is a sociologist, currently professor at State University of New York at Albany. He is a social theorist working the areas of social theory, culture, sexuality, comparative sociology, theory of democracy, nat ...
writes that "it is the power of the closet to shape the core of an individual's life that has made homosexuality into a significant personal, social, and political drama in twentieth-century America". ''Coming out of the closet'' is the source of other
gay slang LGBT slang, LGBT speak, or gay slang is a set of English slang lexicon used predominantly among LGBT people. It has been used in various languages since the early 20th century as a means by which members of the LGBT community identify themselves ...
expressions related to voluntary disclosure or lack thereof. LGBT people who have already revealed or no longer conceal their sexual orientation or gender identity are ''out of the closet'' or simply ''out'', i.e. openly LGBT. Oppositely, LGBT people who have yet to come out or have opted not to do so are labelled as closeted or being in the closet.
Outing Outing is the act of disclosing an LGBT person's sexual orientation or gender identity without that person's consent. It is often done for political reasons, either to instrumentalize homophobia in order to discredit political opponents or to com ...
is the deliberate or accidental disclosure of an LGBT person's sexual orientation or gender identity by someone else, without their consent. By extension, ''outing oneself'' is self-disclosure. ''Glass closet'' means the
open secret An open secret is a concept or idea that is "officially" (''de jure'') secret or restricted in knowledge, but in practice (''de facto'') is widely known; or it refers to something that is widely known to be true but which none of the people most i ...
of when public figures' being LGBT is considered a widely accepted fact even though they have not officially come out.


History

Between 1864 and 1869,
Karl Heinrich Ulrichs Karl Heinrich Ulrichs (28 August 1825 – 14 July 1895) was a German lawyer, jurist, journalist, and writer who is regarded today as a pioneer of sexology and the modern gay rights movement. Ulrichs has been described as the "first gay man in ...
wrote a series of pamphlets—as well as giving a lecture to the Association of German Jurists in 1867—advocating decriminalization of sex acts between men, in which he was candid about his own homosexuality. Historian
Robert Beachy Robert Beachy (born in Aibonito, Puerto Rico) is associate professor of history at the Underwood International College at Yonsei University in Seoul, South Korea. Was raised in Mennonite communities in Puerto Rico and Indiana. He formerly taug ...
has said of him, "I think it is reasonable to describe lrichsas the first gay person to publicly out himself." In early 20th-century Germany, "coming out" was called "self-denunciation" and entailed serious legal and reputational risks. In his 1906 work, ''Das Sexualleben unserer Zeit in seinen Beziehungen zur modernen Kultur'' (The sexual life of our time in its relation to modern civilization),
Iwan Bloch Iwan Bloch (April 8, 1872 – November 21, 1922), also known as Ivan Bloch, was a German dermatologist, and psychiatrist, psychoanalyst born in Delmenhorst, Grand Ducal Oldenburg, Germany, and often called the first sexologist. Together with M ...
, a German-Jewish physician, entreated elderly homosexuals to self-disclose to their family members and acquaintances. In 1914,
Magnus Hirschfeld Magnus Hirschfeld (14 May 1868 – 14 May 1935) was a German physician and sexologist. Hirschfeld was educated in philosophy, philology and medicine. An outspoken advocate for sexual minorities, Hirschfeld founded the Scientific-Humanitarian Com ...
revisited the topic in his major work ''The Homosexuality of Men and Women'', discussing the social and legal potentials of several thousand homosexual men and women of rank revealing their sexual orientation to the police in order to influence legislators and public opinion. Hirschfeld did not support self-denunciation and dismissed the possibilities of a political movement based on open homosexuals. The first prominent American to reveal his homosexuality was the poet Robert Duncan. In 1944, using his own name in the anarchist magazine ''
Politics Politics (from , ) is the set of activities that are associated with making decisions in groups, or other forms of power relations among individuals, such as the distribution of resources or status. The branch of social science that studies ...
'', he wrote that homosexuals were an oppressed minority. The decidedly clandestine
Mattachine Society The Mattachine Society (), founded in 1950, was an early national gay rights organization in the United States, perhaps preceded only by Chicago's Society for Human Rights. Communist and labor activist Harry Hay formed the group with a collection ...
, founded by
Harry Hay Henry "Harry" Hay Jr. (April 7, 1912 – October 24, 2002) was an American gay rights activist, communist, and labor advocate. He was a co-founder of the Mattachine Society, the first sustained gay rights group in the United States, as well as ...
and other veterans of the Wallace for President campaign in Los Angeles in 1950, moved into the public eye after
Hal Call Harold Leland "Hal" Call (September 1917–December 18, 2000) was an American businessperson, LGBT rights activist, and U.S. Army veteran. He served as president of the Mattachine Society and in the 1950s, was one of the first gay activists to ...
took over the group in San Francisco in 1953, with many gays emerging from the closet. In 1951,
Donald Webster Cory Edward Sagarin (September 18, 1913 – June 10, 1986), also known by his pen name Donald Webster Cory, was an American professor of sociology and criminology at the City University of New York, and a writer. His book ''The Homosexual in America: ...
published his landmark ''The Homosexual in America'', exclaiming, "Society has handed me a mask to wear ... Everywhere I go, at all times and before all sections of society, I pretend." Cory was a pseudonym, but his frank and openly subjective descriptions served as a stimulus to the emerging homosexual self-awareness and the nascent
homophile movement The homophile movement is a collective term for the main organisations and publications supporting and representing sexual minorities in the 1950s to 1960s around the world. The name comes from the term ''homophile'', which was commonly used by the ...
. In the 1960s, Frank Kameny came to the forefront of the struggle. Having been fired from his job as an astronomer for the Army Map service in 1957 for homosexual behavior, Kameny refused to go quietly. He openly fought his dismissal, eventually appealing it all the way to the
US Supreme Court The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) is the highest court in the federal judiciary of the United States. It has ultimate appellate jurisdiction over all U.S. federal court cases, and over state court cases that involve a point of ...
. As a vocal leader of the growing movement, Kameny argued for unapologetic public actions. The cornerstone of his conviction was that, "we must instill in the homosexual community a sense of worth to the individual homosexual", which could only be achieved through campaigns openly led by homosexuals themselves. With the spread of
consciousness raising Consciousness raising (also called awareness raising) is a form of activism popularized by United States feminists in the late 1960s. It often takes the form of a group of people attempting to focus the attention of a wider group on some cause or ...
(CR) in the late 1960s, coming out became a key strategy of the
gay liberation The gay liberation movement was a social and political movement of the late 1960s through the mid-1980s that urged lesbians and gay men to engage in radical direct action, and to counter societal shame with gay pride.Hoffman, 2007, pp.xi-xiii. ...
movement to raise
political consciousness Following the work of Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, Karl Marx outlined the workings of a political consciousness. The politics of consciousness Consciousness typically refers to the idea of a being who is self-aware. It is a distinction often re ...
to counter
heterosexism Heterosexism is a system of attitudes, bias, and discrimination in favor of female–male sexuality and relationships. According to Elizabeth Cramer, it can include the belief that all people are or should be heterosexual and that heterosexual ...
and
homophobia Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitude (psychology), attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay or bisexual. It has been defined as contempt, prejudice, aversion, h ...
. At the same time and continuing into the 1980s, gay and lesbian
social support Social support is the perception and actuality that one is cared for, has assistance available from other people, and most popularly, that one is part of a supportive social network. These supportive resources can be emotional (e.g., nurturance), ...
discussion groups, some of which were called "coming-out groups", focused on sharing coming-out "stories" (experiences) with the goal of reducing isolation and increasing LGBT visibility and
pride Pride is defined by Merriam-Webster as "reasonable self-esteem" or "confidence and satisfaction in oneself". A healthy amount of pride is good, however, pride sometimes is used interchangeably with "conceit" or "arrogance" (among other words) wh ...
.


Etymology

The present-day expression "coming out" is understood to have originated in the early 20th century from an
analogy Analogy (from Greek ''analogia'', "proportion", from ''ana-'' "upon, according to" lso "against", "anew"+ ''logos'' "ratio" lso "word, speech, reckoning" is a cognitive process of transferring information or meaning from a particular subject ( ...
that likens homosexuals' introduction into
gay subculture Sexuality and gender identity-based cultures are subcultures and communities composed of people who have shared experiences, backgrounds, or interests due to common sexual or gender identities. Among the first to argue that members of sexual min ...
to a
débutante A debutante, also spelled débutante, ( ; from french: débutante , "female beginner") or deb is a young woman of aristocratic or upper-class family background who has reached maturity and, as a new adult, is presented to society at a formal ...
's ''coming-out party''. This is a celebration for a young
upper-class Upper class in modern societies is the social class composed of people who hold the highest social status, usually are the wealthiest members of class society, and wield the greatest political power. According to this view, the upper class is gen ...
woman who is making her début – her formal presentation to society – because she has reached adult age or has become eligible for marriage. As historian
George Chauncey George Chauncey (born 1954) is a professor of history at Columbia University. He is best known as the author of '' Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890–1940'' (1994). Life and works Chauncey re ...
points out:
Gay people in the pre-war years re-WWInbsp;... did not speak of coming out of what we call the gay closet but rather of coming out ''into'' what they called homosexual society or the gay world, a world neither so small, nor so isolated, nor ... so hidden as closet implies.
In fact, as Elizabeth Kennedy observes, "using the term 'closet' to refer to" previous times such as "the 1920s and 1930s might be
anachronistic An anachronism (from the Greek , 'against' and , 'time') is a chronological inconsistency in some arrangement, especially a juxtaposition of people, events, objects, language terms and customs from different time periods. The most common type ...
". An article on coming out in the online encyclopedia
glbtq.com glbtq.com (also known as the glbtq Encyclopedia Project) was an online encyclopedia of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer ( GLBTQ) culture. Launched in 2003, it was edited by Claude J. Summers, emeritus professor at the University of ...
states that
sexologist Sexology is the scientific study of human sexuality, including human sexual interests, behaviors, and functions. The term ''sexology'' does not generally refer to the non-scientific study of sexuality, such as social criticism. Sexologists app ...
Evelyn Hooker Evelyn Hooker (née Gentry, September 2, 1907 – November 18, 1996) was an American psychologist most notable for her 1956 paper "The Adjustment of the Male Overt Homosexual" in which she administered several psychological tests to groups of s ...
's observations introduced the use of "coming out" to the academic community in the 1950s. The article continues by echoing Chauncey's observation that a subsequent shift in
connotation A connotation is a commonly understood cultural or emotional association that any given word or phrase carries, in addition to its explicit or literal meaning, which is its denotation. A connotation is frequently described as either positive o ...
occurred later on. The pre-1950s focus was on ''entrance'' into "a new world of hope and communal solidarity" whereas the post-
Stonewall Riots The Stonewall riots (also known as the Stonewall uprising, Stonewall rebellion, or simply Stonewall) were a series of spontaneous protests by members of the gay community in response to a police raid that began in the early morning hours of Ju ...
overtone was an ''exit'' from the oppression of the closet. This change in focus suggests that "coming out ''of the closet''" is a
mixed metaphor A metaphor is a figure of speech that, for rhetorical effect, directly refers to one thing by mentioning another. It may provide (or obscure) clarity or identify hidden similarities between two different ideas. Metaphors are often compared with ...
that joins "coming out" with the
closet A closet (especially in North American usage) is an enclosed space, with a door, used for storage, particularly that of clothes. ''Fitted closets'' are built into the walls of the house so that they take up no apparent space in the room. Closet ...
metaphor: an evolution of "
skeleton in the closet Skeleton in the closet or skeleton in the cupboard is a Colloquialism, colloquial phrase and idiom used to describe an undisclosed fact about someone which, if revealed, would damage perceptions of the person. It evokes the idea of someone having ...
" specifically referring to living a life of denial and secrecy by concealing one's
sexual orientation Sexual orientation is an enduring pattern of romantic or sexual attraction (or a combination of these) to persons of the opposite sex or gender, the same sex or gender, or to both sexes or more than one gender. These attractions are generall ...
. The closet metaphor, in turn, is extended to the forces and pressures of heterosexist society and its institutions.


Identity issues

When coming out is described as a gradual process or a journey, it is meant to include becoming aware of and acknowledging one's gender identity, gender expression, or non-hetero-normative sexual orientation or attraction. This preliminary stage, which involves soul-searching or a personal
epiphany Epiphany may refer to: * Epiphany (feeling), an experience of sudden and striking insight Religion * Epiphany (holiday), a Christian holiday celebrating the revelation of God the Son as a human being in Jesus Christ ** Epiphany season, or Epiph ...
, is often called "coming out to oneself" and constitutes the start of
self-acceptance Self-acceptance is acceptance of self. Definition Self-acceptance can be defined as: * the awareness of one's strengths and weaknesses, * the realistic (yet subjective) appraisal of one's talents, capabilities, and general worth, and, * feelings ...
. Many LGBT people say that this stage began for them during
adolescence Adolescence () is a transitional stage of physical and psychological development that generally occurs during the period from puberty to adulthood (typically corresponding to the age of majority). Adolescence is usually associated with the t ...
or
childhood A child (plural, : children) is a human being between the stages of childbirth, birth and puberty, or between the Development of the human body, developmental period of infancy and puberty. The legal definition of ''child'' generally refers ...
, when they first became aware of their sexual orientation toward members of the same sex. Coming out has also been described as a process because of a recurring need or desire to come out in new situations in which LGBT people are assumed to be heterosexual or
cisgender Cisgender (often shortened to cis; sometimes cissexual) is a term used to describe a person whose gender identity corresponds to their sex assigned at birth. The word ''cisgender'' is the antonym of ''transgender''. The prefix ''wiktionary:cis ...
, such as at a new job or with new acquaintances. A major frame of reference for those coming out has included using an inside/outside perspective, where some assume that the person can keep their identity or orientation a secret and separate from their outside appearance. This is not as simple as often thought, as Diana Fuss (1991) argues, "the problem of course with the inside/outside rhetoric ... is that such polemics disguise the fact that most of us are both inside and outside at the same time".


LGBT identity development

Every coming out story is the person trying to come to terms with who they are and their sexual orientation. Several models have been created to describe coming out as a process for gay and lesbian identity development, e.g. Dank, 1971; Cass, 1984; Coleman, 1989; Troiden, 1989. Of these models, the most widely accepted is the
Cass identity model The Cass identity model is one of the fundamental theories of LGBT identity development, developed in 1979 by Vivienne Cass. This model was one of the first to treat LGBT people as normal in a heterosexist society and in a climate of homophobia an ...
established by Vivienne Cass. This model outlines six discrete stages transited by individuals who successfully come out: identity confusion, identity comparison, identity tolerance, identity acceptance, identity pride, and identity synthesis. However, not every LGBT person follows such a model. For example, some LGBT youth become aware of and accept their same-sex desires or gender identity at puberty in a way similar to which heterosexual teens become aware of their sexuality, i.e. free of any notion of difference, stigma or shame in terms of the gender of the people to whom they are attracted. Regardless of whether LGBT youth develop their identity based on a model, the typical age at which youth in the United States come out has been dropping. High school students and even middle school students are coming out.Coming Out Younger
, Jezebel.com article.
Emerging research suggests that
gay men Gay men are male homosexuals. Some bisexual and homoromantic men may also dually identify as gay, and a number of young gay men also identify as queer. Historically, gay men have been referred to by a number of different terms, including ' ...
from religious backgrounds are likely to come out online via Facebook and other social networks, such as blogs, as they offer a protective interpersonal distance. This largely contradicts the growing movement in social media research indicating that online use, particularly Facebook, can lead to negative mental health outcomes such as increased levels of anxiety. While further research is needed to assess whether these results generalize to a larger sample, these recent findings open the door to the possibility that gay men's online experiences may differ from heterosexuals' in that it may be more likely to provide mental health benefits than consequences.


Transgender identity and coming out

Transgender people vary greatly in choosing when, whether, and how to disclose their transgender status to family, close friends, and others. The prevalence of discrimination and violence against transgender people (in the United States, for example, transgender people are 28% more likely to be victims of violence) can make coming out a risky decision. Fear of retaliatory behavior, such as being removed from the parental home while underage, is a cause for transgender people to not come out to their families until they have reached adulthood. Parental confusion and lack of acceptance of a transgender child may result in parents treating a newly revealed gender identity as a "phase" or making efforts to change their children back to "normal" by utilizing mental health services to alter the child's gender identity. The internet can play a significant role in the coming out process for transgender people. Some come out in an
online identity Internet identity (IID), also online identity or internet persona, is a social identity that an Internet user establishes in online communities and websites. It may also be an actively constructed presentation of oneself. Although some people cho ...
first, providing an opportunity to go through experiences virtually and safely before risking social sanctions in the real world. However, while many trans people find support online that they may not have in real life, others encounter bullying and harassment when coming out online. According to a study published by Blumenfeld and Cooper in 2012, youth who identify as LGBT are 22% less likely to report online bullying due to factors such as parents not believing or understanding them, or fear of having to come out to explain the incident. This further shows the barriers that trans individuals can have when coming out. Coming out as transgender can be more complex than coming out as a sexual minority. Visible changes that can occur as part of changing one's gender identitysuch as wardrobe changes,
hormone replacement therapy Hormone replacement therapy (HRT), also known as menopausal hormone therapy or postmenopausal hormone therapy, is a form of hormone therapy used to treat symptoms associated with female menopause. These symptoms can include hot flashes, vaginal ...
, and name changescan make coming out to other people less of a choice. Further, things that accompany a change in gender can have financial, physical, medical, and legal implications. Additionally, transgender individuals can experience prejudice and rejection from sexual minorities and others in the LGBT community, in addition to the larger LGBT bias they can face from mainstream culture, which can feel isolating.


Legal issues

In areas of the world where homosexual acts are penalized or prohibited, gay men, lesbians, and bisexual people can suffer negative legal consequences for coming out. In particular, where homosexuality is a crime, coming out may constitute
self-incrimination In criminal law, self-incrimination is the act of exposing oneself generally, by making a statement, "to an accusation or charge of crime; to involve oneself or another ersonin a criminal prosecution or the danger thereof". (Self-incrimination ...
. These laws still exist in 76 countries worldwide, including Egypt, Iran, Singapore, and Afghanistan. People who decide to come out as non-binary or transgender often face more varied and different issues from a legal standpoint. Worldwide, legally changing your documented gender or name based on your identity is often prohibited or extremely difficult. A major negative effect of the inequality in regulations comes in the form of mental effects, as transgender people who have to legally announce a gender they do not identify with or their dead name can face uncomfortable situations and stress.


Effects

In the early stages of the LGBT identity development process, people can feel confused and experience turmoil. In 1993,
Michelangelo Signorile Michelangelo Signorile (; born December 19, 1960) is an American journalist, author and talk radio host. His radio program is aired each weekday across the United States and Canada on Sirius XM Radio and globally online. Signorile was editor-a ...
wrote '' Queer in America'', in which he explored the harm caused both to a closeted person and to society in general by being closeted. Because LGBT people have historically been marginalized as
sexual minorities A sexual minority is a group whose sexual identity, sexual orientation, orientation or practices differ from the majority of the surrounding society. Primarily used to refer to lesbian, gay, bisexual, or non-heterosexual individuals, it can al ...
, coming out of the closet remains a challenge for most of the world's LGBT population and can lead to a
backlash Backlash may refer to: Literature * '' Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women'', a 1991 book by Susan Faludi * ''Backlash'' (Star Wars novel), a 2010 novel by Aaron Allston * Backlash (Marc Slayton), comic book character * ''Backla ...
of heterosexist
discrimination Discrimination is the act of making unjustified distinctions between people based on the groups, classes, or other categories to which they belong or are perceived to belong. People may be discriminated on the basis of race, gender, age, relig ...
and homophobic violence. Studies have found that concealing sexual orientation is related to poorer mental health, physical health, and relationship functioning. For example, it has been found that same-sex couples who have not come out are not as satisfied in their relationships as same-sex couples who have. Findings from another study indicate that the fewer people know about a lesbian's sexual orientation, the more anxiety, less positive affectivity, and lower self-esteem she has. Further, Gay.com states that closeted individuals are reported to be at increased risk for
suicide Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death. Mental disorders (including depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, personality disorders, anxiety disorders), physical disorders (such as chronic fatigue syndrome), and s ...
. Depending on the relational bond between parents and children, a child coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender can be positive or negative. Strong, loving relationships between children and their parents may be strengthened but if a relationship is already strained, those relationships may be further damaged or destroyed by the child coming out. If people coming out are accepted by their parents, this allows open discussions of dating and relationships and allows parents to help their children with coping with discrimination and to make healthier decisions regarding
HIV/AIDS Human immunodeficiency virus infection and acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (HIV/AIDS) is a spectrum of conditions caused by infection with the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), a retrovirus. Following initial infection an individual ...
. Because parents, families, and close others can reject someone coming out to them, the effects of coming out on LGBT individuals are not always positive. For example, teens who had parents who rejected them when they came out showed more drug use, depression, suicide attempts and risky sexual behaviors later on as young adults. Some studies find that the health effects of coming out depends more on the reactions of parents than on the disclosure itself. A number of studies have been done on the effect of people coming out to their parents. A 1989 report by Robinson et al. of parents of out gay and lesbian children in the United States found that 21% of fathers and 28% of mothers had suspected that their child was gay or lesbian, largely based on gender atypical behaviour during childhood. The 1989 study found that two-thirds of parents reacted negatively. A 1995 study (that used young people's reactions) found that half of the mothers of gay or bisexual male college students "responded with disbelief, denial or negative comments" while fathers reacted slightly better. 18% of parents reacted "with acts of intolerance, attempts to convert the child to heterosexuality, and verbal threats to cut off financial or emotional support". Homelessness is a common effect among LGBT youth during the coming out process. LGBT youth are among the largest population of homeless youth; this has typically been caused by the self-identification and acknowledgment of being gay or identifying with the LGBT community. About 20% to 30% of homeless youth identify as LGBT. 55% of LGBQ and 67% of transgender youth are forced out of their homes by their parents or run away because of their sexual orientation or gender identity and expression. Homelessness among LGBT youth also impacts many areas of an individual's life, leading to higher rates of victimization, depression, suicidal ideation, substance abuse, risky sexual behavior, and participation in more illegal and dangerous activities. A 2016 study on homelessness pathways among Latino LGBT youth found that homelessness among LGBT individuals can also be attributed to structural issues like systems of care and sociocultural and economic factors. Jimmie Manning performed a study in 2015 on positive and negative behavior performed during the coming out conversation. During his study, he learned that almost all of his participants would only attribute negative behaviors to themselves during the coming out conversations and positive behaviors with the recipient of the conversation. Manning suggests further research into this to figure out a way for positive behaviors to be seen and performed equally by both the recipient and the individual coming out.


In/out metaphors


Dichotomy

The closet narrative sets up an implicit dualism between being "in" or being "out" wherein those who are "in" are often stigmatized as living false, unhappy lives. Likewise, philosopher and critical analyst
Judith Butler Judith Pamela Butler (born February 24, 1956) is an American philosopher and gender theorist whose work has influenced political philosophy, ethics, and the fields of third-wave feminism, queer theory, and literary theory. In 1993, Butler ...
(1991) states that the ''in/out'' metaphor creates a binary opposition which pretends that the closet is dark, marginal, and false and that being out in the "light of illumination" reveals a true (or essential) identity. Nonetheless, Butler is willing to appear at events as a lesbian and maintains that "it is possible to argue that ... there remains a political imperative to use these necessary errors or
category mistake A category mistake, or category error, or categorical mistake, or mistake of category, is a semantic or ontological error in which things belonging to a particular category are presented as if they belong to a different category, or, alternativ ...
s ... to rally and represent an oppressed political constituency".


Criticisms

In addition Diana Fuss (1991) explains, "the problem of course with the inside/outside rhetoric ... is that such polemics disguise the fact that most of us are both inside and outside at the same time". Further, "To be out, in common gay parlance, is precisely to be no longer out; to be out is to be finally outside of exteriority and all the exclusions and deprivations such outsiderhood imposes. Or, put another way, to be out is really to be in—inside the realm of the visible, the speakable, the culturally intelligible." In other words, coming out constructs the closet it supposedly destroys and the self it supposedly reveals, "the first appearance of the homosexual as a 'species' rather than a 'temporary aberration' also marks the moment of the homosexual's disappearance—into the closet". Furthermore, Seidman, Meeks, and Traschen (1999) argue that "the closet" may be becoming an antiquated metaphor in the lives of modern-day Americans for two reasons. # Homosexuality is becoming increasingly normalized and the shame and secrecy often associated with it appears to be in decline. # The metaphor of the closet hinges upon the notion that stigma management is a way of life. However, stigma management may actually be increasingly done situationally.


National Coming Out Day

Observed annually on 11 October, by members of the LGBT community, LGBT communities and their Straight ally, allies, National Coming Out Day is an international civil Raising awareness, awareness day for coming out and discussing LGBT issues among the general populace in an effort to give a familiar face to the LGBT social movements, LGBT rights movement. This day was the inspiration for holding LGBT History Month in the United States in October. The day was founded in 1988, by Robert Eichberg, his partner William Gamble, and Jean O'Leary to celebrate the Second National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights one year earlier, in which 500,000 people marched on Washington, DC, United States, for gay and lesbian equality. In the United States, the Human Rights Campaign manages the event under the National Coming Out Project, offering resources to LGBT individuals, couples, parents, and children, as well as straight friends and relatives, to promote awareness of LGBT parenting, LGBT families living honest and open lives. Candace Gingrich became the spokesperson for the day in April 1995. Although still named "''National'' Coming Out Day", it is observed in Canada, Germany, the Netherlands, and Switzerland also on 11 October, and in the United Kingdom on 12 October. To celebrate National Coming Out Day on 11 October 2002, Human Rights Campaign released an album bearing the same title as that year's theme: ''Being Out Rocks''. Participating artists include Kevin Aviance, Janis Ian, k.d. lang, Cyndi Lauper, Sarah McLachlan, and Rufus Wainwright.


Media


Highly publicized comings-out


Government officials and political candidates

*In 1983, Democratic United States House of Representatives, US House representative Gerry Studds from Massachusetts came out as a homosexual during the 1983 congressional page sex scandal. *In 1987, Barney Frank, the United States House representative for , publicly came out as gay, thus becoming the second member of the Massachusetts delegation to the United States Congress to do so. *In 1988, Svend Robinson was the first member of House of Commons of Canada to come out. *In 1999, Australian senator Brian Greig came out as being gay in his maiden speech to parliament, the first Australian politician to do so. *In 2004, Governor of New Jersey, New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey announced his decision to resign, publicly came out as "a gay American", and admitted to having had an extramarital affair with a man, Golan Cipel, an Israeli citizen and veteran of the Israeli Defense Forces, whom McGreevey had appointed New Jersey homeland security adviser.


Athletes

The first US professional team-sport athlete to come out was former NFL running back David Kopay, who played for five teams (San Francisco 49ers, San Francisco, Detroit Lions, Detroit, Washington Redskins, Washington, New Orleans Saints, New Orleans and Green Bay Packers, Green Bay) between 1964 and 1972. He came out in 1975 in an interview in the ''Washington Star''. The first professional athlete to come out while still playing was Czech-American professional tennis player Martina Navratilova, who came out as a lesbian during an interview with ''The New York Times'' in 1981. English footballer Justin Fashanu came out in 1990 and was subject to homophobic taunts from spectators, opponents and teammates for the rest of his career. In 1995 while at the peak of his playing career, Ian Roberts (rugby league), Ian Roberts became the first high-profile Australian sports person and first rugby footballer in the world to come out to the public as gay. John Amaechi, who played in the NBA with the Utah Jazz, Orlando Magic and Cleveland Cavaliers (as well as internationally with Panathinaikos BC of the ESAKE A1 Ethniki, Greek Basketball League and Virtus Bologna, Kinder Bologna of the Lega Basket Serie A, Italian Basketball League), came out in February 2007 on ESPN's ''Outside the Lines'' program. He also released a book ''Man in the Middle'', published by ESPN Books () which talks about his professional and personal life as a closeted basketball player. He was the first NBA player (former or current) to come out. In 2008, Australian diver Matthew Mitcham became the first openly gay athlete to win an Olympic gold medal. He achieved this at the 2008 Summer Olympics, Beijing Olympics in the men's 10 meter platform event. The first Irish county Gaelic Athletic Association, GAA player to come out while still playing was hurling, hurler Dónal Óg Cusack in October 2009 in previews of his autobiography. Gareth Thomas (rugby), Gareth Thomas, who played international rugby union and rugby league for Wales, came out in a ''Daily Mail'' interview in December 2009 near the end of his career. In 2013, basketball player Jason Collins (a member of the Washington Wizards) came out as gay, becoming the first active male professional athlete in a Major professional sports leagues in the United States and Canada, major North American team sport to publicly come out as gay. On 15 August 2013, WWE wrestler Darren Young (wrestler), Darren Young came out, making him the first openly gay active professional wrestler. On 9 February 2014, former Missouri defensive lineman Michael Sam came out as gay. He was drafted by the St. Louis Rams on 10 May 2014, with the 249th overall pick in the seventh round, making him the first openly gay player to be drafted by an NFL franchise. He was released by St. Louis and waived by the Dallas Cowboys practice squad. Sam was on the roster for the Montreal Alouettes, but has since retired from football. On 21 June 2021, Las Vegas Raiders defensive end Carl Nassib announced on his Instagram account that he is gay, becoming the first active NFL player to come out publicly. In October 2021, professional soccer player Josh Cavallo came out as gay via videos posted to his team's social media accounts, becoming the only openly gay top-level professional soccer player in the world.


Artists and entertainers

In 1997 on ''The Oprah Winfrey Show'', American comedian Ellen DeGeneres came out as a lesbian. Her real-life coming out was echoed in the sitcom ''Ellen (TV series), Ellen'' in "The Puppy Episode", in which her character Ellen (TV series), Ellen Morgan outs herself over the airport public address system. On 29 March 2010, Puerto Rican singer Ricky Martin came out publicly in a post on his official web site by stating, "I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am." Martin said that "these years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed." Singer Adam Lambert came out after pictures of him kissing another man were publicly circulated while he was a participant on the American Idol (season 8), eighth season of ''American Idol''. In January 2013, while accepting the honorary Golden Globe Cecil B. DeMille Award, American actress and director Jodie Foster made the first public acknowledgment of her sexual orientation, saying; "I already did my coming out a thousand years ago, in the Stone Age, in those very quaint days when a fragile young girl would open up to friends and family and co-workers then gradually to everyone that knew her, everyone she actually met."


Military personnel

In 1975, Leonard Matlovich, while serving in the United States Air Force, came out to challenge the US military's policies banning service by homosexuals. Widespread coverage included a ''Time (magazine), Time'' magazine cover story and a television movie on NBC. In 2011, as the US prepared to lift restrictions on service by openly gay people, Senior Airman Randy Phillips conducted a social media campaign to garner support for coming out. The video he posted on YouTube of the conversation in which he told his father he was gay went Viral video, viral. In one journalist's summation, he "masterfully used social media and good timing to place himself at the centre of a civil rights success story".


Pastors

In October 2010, megachurch pastor Bishop Jim Swilley came out to his congregation. The YouTube video of the service went Viral video, viral. Interviews with ''People (magazine), People'' magazine, Joy Behar, Don Lemon ABC News and NPR focused on the bullycides that prompted Bishop Swilley to "come out". One year later, he confirmed the costs but also the freedom he has experienced. "To be able to have freedom is something that I wouldn't trade anything for." "Being married as yourself, preaching as yourself and living your life as yourself is infinitely better than doing those things as someone else." Bishop Swilley's son, Jared Swilley, bass player and front man of Black Lips said, "It was definitely shocking, but I was actually glad when he told me. I feel closer to him now". Bishop Swilley's other son, Judah Swilley, a cast member on the Oxygen (TV channel), Oxygen show ''Preachers of Atlanta'', is confronting homophobia in the church.


Journalists

In August 2019, a sportswriter and broadcaster contributing at ''The Guardian'' and ESPN came out, informing that she is now Nicky Bandini and was previously writing under the name Paolo Bandini. The football journalist highlighted through a Twitter video and an accompanying article on ''The Guardian'' that it took her several years to come out as transgender publicly. Bandini also went through gender dysphoria for three-and-a-half decades before finally admitting it to the world.


Depictions of coming out

In 1996, the acclaimed British film ''Beautiful Thing (film), Beautiful Thing'' had a positive take in its depiction of two teenage boys coming to terms with their sexual identity. In 1987, a two-part episode of the Quebec television series ''Avec un grand A'', "Lise, Pierre et Marcel", depicted a married closeted man who has to come out when his wife discovers that he has been having an affair with another man. In the Emmy Award-nominated episode "Gay Witch Hunt" of ''The Office (American TV series), The Office'', Michael inadvertently outs Oscar to the whole office. Author Rodger Streitmatter described Ellen DeGeneres's coming out in the media as well as an episode of ''Ellen (TV series), Ellen'', "The Puppy Episode", as "rank[ing], hands down, as the single most public exit in gay history", changing media portrayals of lesbians in Western culture. In 1999, Russell T Davies's Queer as Folk (UK TV series), ''Queer as Folk'', a popular TV series shown on the UK's Channel 4 debuted and focused primarily on the lives of young gay men; in particular on a 15-year-old going through the processes of revealing his sexuality to those around him. This storyline was also featured prominently in the US version of ''Queer as Folk'', which debuted in 2000. The television show ''The L Word'', which debuted in 2004, focuses on the lives of a group of lesbian and bisexual women, and the theme of coming out is prominently featured in the storylines of multiple characters. ''Coming Out Serie, Coming Out'', which debuted in 2013, is the first Quebec television program about being gay. The third season of the Norwegian teen drama series ''Skam (TV series), Skam'' focused on a main character coming out and his relationship with another boy. The film ''Love, Simon'', based on the book ''Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda'', debuted in 2018 and is the first major studio film about a gay teenager coming out.


Extended use in LGBT media, publishing and activism

"Out" is a common word or prefix used in the titles of LGBT-themed books, films, periodicals, organizations, and TV programs. Some high-profile examples are Out (magazine), ''Out'' magazine, the defunct ''OutWeek'', and OutTV (Canada), OutTV.


Non-LGBT contexts

In political, casual, or even humorous contexts, "coming out" means by extension the self-disclosure of a person's secret behaviors, beliefs, affiliations, tastes, identities, and interests that may cause astonishment or bring
shame Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion often associated with negative self-evaluation; motivation to quit; and feelings of pain, exposure, distrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness. Definition Shame is a discrete, basic emotion, d ...
. Some examples include: "coming out as an alcoholic", "Coming out (BDSM), coming out as a BDSM participant", "coming out of the broom closet" (as a witchcraft, witch), "coming out as a conservative", "coming out as disabled", "coming out as a liberal", "coming out as intersex", "coming out as Dissociative identity disorder, multiple", "coming out as polyamory, polyamorous", "coming out as a sex worker", and "coming out of the shadows" as an Illegal immigrant population of the United States, undocumented immigrant within the United States. The term is also used by members of online body integrity dysphoria communities to refer to the process of telling friends and families about their condition. With its associated metaphors, the figure of speech has also been extended to atheism, e.g., "coming out as an atheist". A public awareness initiative for freethought and atheism, entitled the "Out Campaign", makes ample use of the "out" metaphor. This campaign was initiated by Robin Elisabeth Cornwell, and is endorsed by prominent atheist Richard Dawkins, who states "there is a big closet population of atheists who need to 'come out.


See also

* Biphobia * Down-low (sexual slang) * Ego-dystonic sexual orientation * Intersex and LGBT * Labeling theory * Liberal homophobia * Questioning (sexuality and gender) * Terminology of homosexuality


References


Further reading

* Argent, Jay (2017) ''Coming Out: High School Boys Share Their Stories''. [Charleston]: CreateSpace Independent Publishing. * Beasley, Neil (2016) ''Football's Coming Out: Life as a Gay Fan and Player''. [London]: Floodlit Dreams Ltd. * Berube, Allan (2010) ''Coming Out under Fire: The History of Gay Men and Women in World War Two'' (2nd edition). Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press. * Blaschke, Ronny (2008) ''Versteckspieler: Die Geschichte des schwulen Fußballers Marcus Urban''. Göttingen: Verlag Die Werkstatt. * Dossie Easton, Janet Hardy, Catherine A. Liszt, ''When Someone You Love Is Kinky''. Greenery Press, 2000. . * Kinsella, Vinne (2016) ''Fashionably Late: Gay, Bi, and Trans Men Who Came Out Later in Life''. Portland: Eldredge Books * LaSala, Michael (2010) ''Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child''. New York: Columbia University Press. * * Robbie Rogers, Rogers, Robbie; Marcus, Eric (2014) ''Coming Out to Play''. London: The Robson Press. * Seidman, Steven. ''Beyond the Closet: The Transformation of Gay and Lesbian Life''. Routledge, 2003. . * Stramel, James. ''Gay Virtue: The Ethics of Disclosure''. Dissertation, University of Southern California, 1996. {{authority control LGBT terminology Metaphors LGBT and society Secrecy