Cherokee Hair Tampons
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"Cherokee Hair Tampons" is the sixth episode of the fourth season of the animated television series '' South Park'', and the 54th episode of the series overall. This is the season's seventh episode in production order. "Cherokee Hair Tampons" originally aired in the
United States The United States of America (U.S.A. or USA), commonly known as the United States (U.S. or US) or America, is a country primarily located in North America. It consists of 50 states, a federal district, five major unincorporated territori ...
on June 28, 2000 on
Comedy Central Comedy Central is an American basic cable channel owned by Paramount Global through its network division's MTV Entertainment Group unit, based in Manhattan. The channel is geared towards young adults aged 18–34 and carries comedy programmin ...
. In the episode, Kyle needs a kidney transplant, and Cartman is discovered to be a perfect donor. Cartman gladly offers his kidney to Kyle, for the price of $10 million. Stan, worried about the inevitable loss of his best friend, decides to take matters into his own hands and get Cartman's kidney to save Kyle's life.


Plot

The episode begins with a substitute teacher coming in to teach the 3rd grade class. The boys mess around with the teacher at roll call, with Stan pretending that he is Cartman,
Kenny Kenny is a surname, a given name, and a diminutive of several different given names. In Ireland, the surname is an Anglicisation of the Irish ''Ó Cionnaith'', also spelt ''Ó Cionnaoith'' and ''Ó Cionaodha'', meaning "descendant of Cionnaith" ...
pretending he is Stan, and Cartman pretending he is Kenny. Cartman laughs so hard that milk squirts out of his nose (despite the fact that he was not drinking any); this gag continues through the episode whenever he laughs. The teacher gives them all an assignment to make a get-well-soon card for Kyle, and Butters literally ends up being the card. Stan visits his sick friend, who is, according to his mother, suffering from
kidney failure Kidney failure, also known as end-stage kidney disease, is a medical condition in which the kidneys can no longer adequately filter waste products from the blood, functioning at less than 15% of normal levels. Kidney failure is classified as eit ...
due to
diabetes Diabetes, also known as diabetes mellitus, is a group of metabolic disorders characterized by a high blood sugar level ( hyperglycemia) over a prolonged period of time. Symptoms often include frequent urination, increased thirst and increased ...
and needs a transplant. Since they are unable to find a donor and Sheila is worried about the risks of having Kyle undergo surgery, Sharon suggests to
Sheila Sheila (alternatively spelled Shelagh and Sheelagh) is a common feminine given name, derived from the Irish name ''Síle'', which is believed to be a Gaelic form of the Latin name Caelia, the feminine form of the Roman clan name Caelius, mean ...
that she try
New Age New Age is a range of spiritual or religious practices and beliefs which rapidly grew in Western society during the early 1970s. Its highly eclectic and unsystematic structure makes a precise definition difficult. Although many scholars consi ...
healing With physical trauma or disease suffered by an organism, healing involves the repairing of damaged tissue(s), organs and the biological system as a whole and resumption of (normal) functioning. Medicine includes the process by which the cells ...
to cure Kyle. They visit the holistic medicine store of a newly arrived shopkeeper named Miss Information, who tells them that mysterious "toxins" are the cause of Kyle's ailments and prescribes a series of herbs to help him; they do not help, but she convinces the people of South Park that they are healing him even though it is not visible. The whole town becomes enamored with her remedies and buys such nostrums as "
Cherokee The Cherokee (; chr, ᎠᏂᏴᏫᏯᎢ, translit=Aniyvwiyaʔi or Anigiduwagi, or chr, ᏣᎳᎩ, links=no, translit=Tsalagi) are one of the indigenous peoples of the Southeastern Woodlands of the United States. Prior to the 18th century, t ...
hair tampons" from two supposed Native Americans (played by Cheech Marin and
Tommy Chong Thomas B. Kin Chong (born May 24, 1938) is a Canadian-American actor, comedian, musician, activist. He is known for his marijuana-themed Cheech & Chong comedy albums and movies with Cheech Marin, as well as playing the character Leo on Fox ...
) who share her store. Before long, everyone is so hooked on "holistic medicine" that Miss Information can get away with selling coat hangers as " dream catchers" for very high prices. Meanwhile,
Mr. Garrison Herbert Garrison, formerly known as Janet Garrison, Ethan F Garrison, and the President, is a fictional character and occasional antagonist on the American animated television series '' South Park''. The character is voiced by cocreator Trey ...
is suspended for his incompetence as a third grade teacher and for being arrested for attempted child molestation in the previous episode. He decides to fulfill his dream of publishing a book and begins to write a
romance novel A romance novel or romantic novel generally refers to a type of genre fiction novel which places its primary focus on the relationship and romantic love between two people, and usually has an "emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending." Pr ...
, in which he manages to use the word "
penis A penis (plural ''penises'' or ''penes'' () is the primary sexual organ that male animals use to inseminate females (or hermaphrodites) during copulation. Such organs occur in many animals, both vertebrate and invertebrate, but males d ...
" 6,083 times. Stan goes to ask Dr. Doctor for help, and the doctor says that Kyle will die unless he gets a
kidney transplant Kidney transplant or renal transplant is the organ transplant of a kidney into a patient with end-stage kidney disease (ESRD). Kidney transplant is typically classified as deceased-donor (formerly known as cadaveric) or living-donor transplantati ...
from the only other person in town with a compatible blood type: Cartman. Stan tries to convince everyone that the New Age so-called "healing" is not working and that only a kidney transplant can cure Kyle, but Miss Information insists that the doctor is only interested in making money from the procedure, even as she herself charges exorbitant prices for her holistic healing items. Stan tries to convince Cartman to donate his organ, and Cartman refuses to do it unless he gets $10 million in exchange. Upset at Cartman's callousness, Stan tries to get his other friends to help him take Cartman's kidney by force. However, only Kenny, Butters, and Timmy show up; when Stan expresses disappointment, Butters mentions Clyde would have come too, had there not been tacos for dinner. An attempt to sneak into Cartman's house and cut his
kidney The kidneys are two reddish-brown bean-shaped organs found in vertebrates. They are located on the left and right in the retroperitoneal space, and in adult humans are about in length. They receive blood from the paired renal arteries; blo ...
out while he sleeps proves fruitless, as he wears a "Kidney Blocker 2000". Resigned, Stan laments to Kenny over Kyle's imminent death at the hands of holistic medicine, but Kenny, furious at Stan for disregarding the fact that Kenny had died in almost every episode up until then, says one of Cartman's catchphrases, "Screw you guys, I'm going home." then walks off, only to be crushed by a falling piano; Stan does not notice as he was busy crying. Mrs. Broflovski brings a very weak and gravely ill Kyle in for a "spiritual healing" by Miss Information's " Native Americans". To the shock of the citizens, the "Native Americans" take one look at Kyle and declare that he is in need of a doctor and they are actually Mexicans. The two Mexicans reveal to the townsfolk that Miss Information is a fraud who convinced everyone that they were Native Americans and that they had simply neglected to set the record straight. Furious of being scammed, the townsfolk attack and beat Miss Information to death, and Stan declares that he has a plan to get Kyle a kidney. Cartman awakens the next day to find the Kidney Blocker 2000 destroyed and blood all over his bed. Infuriated, he marches to Stan's house and recovers his kidney, then goes to the doctor and arranges to have it put back in, but not before signing a release form. However, it was all a ruse—part of Stan's plan. Cartman's mom had opened the Blocker and spread
ketchup Ketchup or catsup is a table condiment with a sweet and tangy flavor. The unmodified term ("ketchup") now typically refers to tomato ketchup, although early recipes used egg whites, mushrooms, oysters, grapes, mussels, or walnuts, among o ...
on his bed to fool him. The form he signed was
fraud in the factum Fraud in the factum is a type of fraud where misrepresentation causes one to enter a transaction without accurately realizing the risks, duties, or obligations incurred.Black's Law Dictionary (2nd Pocket ed. 2001 pg. 293). This can be when the m ...
and actually allowed Kyle to take his kidney; the kidney that Stan had given him was fake. Cartman is angered, Kyle is better, and Mr. Garrison - now a best-selling author - comes to give him a signed copy of his book, ''In the Valley of Penises''. Cartman is still enraged as Kyle and Stan laugh at him until milk comes out of Kyle's nose. Cartman expresses relief that Kyle got his "crappy kidney".


Production

The Cherokee woman in the live-action commercial was played by ''South Park'' audio editor Lydia Quidilla. In an interview, Quidilla stated that she received her first piece of
hate mail Hate mail (as electronic, posted, or otherwise) is a form of harassment, usually consisting of invective and potentially intimidating or threatening comments towards the recipient. Hate mail often contains exceptionally abusive, foul or otherwi ...
for the episode. Richard "Cheech" Marin and
Tommy Chong Thomas B. Kin Chong (born May 24, 1938) is a Canadian-American actor, comedian, musician, activist. He is known for his marijuana-themed Cheech & Chong comedy albums and movies with Cheech Marin, as well as playing the character Leo on Fox ...
, from the comedy duo
Cheech & Chong Cheech & Chong are a comedy duo consisting of Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong. The duo found commercial and cultural success in the 1970s and 1980s with their stand-up routines, studio recordings, and feature films, which were based on the hippie a ...
, played the two fake Native Americans. The episode served as a partial reunion of the two, although their voices were recorded separately: Chong recorded his lines at the South Park Studios, whereas Marin recorded his in
San Francisco San Francisco (; Spanish for " Saint Francis"), officially the City and County of San Francisco, is the commercial, financial, and cultural center of Northern California. The city proper is the fourth most populous in California and 17th ...
. The live action segment was rated one of the "Best Live-Action South Park Commercials" by ''
HuffPost ''HuffPost'' (formerly ''The Huffington Post'' until 2017 and sometimes abbreviated ''HuffPo'') is an American progressive news website, with localized and international editions. The site offers news, satire, blogs, and original content, and ...
''.


References


External links


"Cherokee Hair Tampons"
Full episode at South Park Studios * {{South Park episodes, 4 South Park (season 4) episodes