Claytons is the brand name of a non-alcoholic, non-carbonated beverage coloured and packaged to resemble bottled

whisky Whisky or whiskey is a type of distilled alcoholic beverage made from fermented grain mash. Various grains (which may be malted) are used for different varieties, including barley, corn, rye, and wheat. Whisky is typically aged in wooden c ...

. It was the subject of a major marketing campaign in

Australia Australia, officially the Commonwealth of Australia, is a Sovereign state, sovereign country comprising the mainland of the Australia (continent), Australian continent, the island of Tasmania, and numerous List of islands of Australia, sma ...

and

New Zealand New Zealand ( mi, Aotearoa ) is an island country in the southwestern Pacific Ocean. It consists of two main landmasses—the North Island () and the South Island ()—and over 700 smaller islands. It is the sixth-largest island count ...

in the 1970s and 1980s, promoting it as "the drink you have when you're not having a drink" at a time when alcohol was being targeted as a major factor in the road death toll. The jingle was written by Australian social satirist

John McKellar John McKellar (June 10, 1833 – February 3, 1900) was a businessman and political figure in Ontario, Canada. He was the first mayor of Fort William, Ontario (later part of Thunder Bay), serving from 1892 to 1898. He was born in Mosa Townsh ...

. The product has not been advertised on television since the 1980s, yet the name has entered into Australian and New Zealand vernacular. It stands for an

ersatz An ersatz good () is a substitute good, especially one that is considered inferior to the good it replaces. It has particular connotations of wartime usage. Etymology ''Ersatz'' is a German word literally meaning ''substitute'' or ''replacement ...

or dummy thing, or something that is obviously ineffective. For example, a common-law couple might be described as having a "Claytons marriage". A knowledgeable but unqualified handyman could be referred to as a "Claytons carpenter". The term can also be used as an insult.

Product history

According to the product label, Claytons was "originally blended and bottled by the Clayton Brothers for the Pure Water Company, Battersea, London, in the 1880s. According to 1980s labelling it was "made from African

kola nut The term kola nut usually refers to the seeds of certain species of plant of the genus ''Cola'', placed formerly in the cocoa family Sterculiaceae and now usually subsumed in the mallow family Malvaceae (as subfamily Sterculioideae). These cola ...

s and

citrus ''Citrus'' is a genus of flowering plant, flowering trees and shrubs in the rue family, Rutaceae. Plants in the genus produce citrus fruits, including important crops such as Orange (fruit), oranges, Lemon, lemons, grapefruits, pomelos, and lim ...

essences". The product, bottled by Beecham, was taken off the market in New Zealand but continued to be distributed in Australia through Orlando Wines and later

Cadbury-Schweppes Cadbury, formerly Cadbury's and Cadbury Schweppes, is a British multinational confectionery company fully owned by Mondelez International (originally Kraft Foods) since 2010. It is the second largest confectionery brand in the world after Mars ...

. As of 2020 the Claytons brand is still being used by Armstrong Agencies Ltd in

Barbados Barbados is an island country in the Lesser Antilles of the West Indies, in the Caribbean region of the Americas, and the most easterly of the Caribbean Islands. It occupies an area of and has a population of about 287,000 (2019 estimate). ...

, though the product is called Claytons Kola Tonic. This particular brand is also available in Australia from vendors such as Woolworths. File:Clayton Bros Kola.jpg, Circa 1947 Bottle File:Clayton Bros.jpg, Base of same bottle with the imprint "Clayton Bros"

In popular culture

Though the product is largely forgotten, the phrase "Claytons" has entered the Australian and New Zealand vernacular with two different, but related, meanings: * Same word, different thing – Many regarded Claytons as a poor taste substitute, and the promotional campaign was ridiculed at the time. Subsequently, the term "Claytons" entered the vocabulary of both countries, used as an adjective to signify a compromise which satisfies no-one, or any form of inferior substitute or low-quality imitation, largely synonymous with the word "

". For example, a hasty or temporary repair may be only a "Claytons solution" to a problem. * Different word, same thing – Claytons may also refer to something essentially the same but going by a different name. So for instance before an election is officially called there is the "Claytons election campaign": the election campaign you have when you're not having an election campaign. The term is primarily used by people old enough to remember the original advertising campaign, but it is still widely used throughout both countries, especially in political debate. The commercial also generated another catch-phrase which became common in New Zealand and Australia. Before turning to camera at the start of the ad, our Claytons-drinking hero (played by

Jack Thompson Jack Thompson may refer to: Sports *Jack Thompson (footballer, born 1892) (1892–1969), English footballer who played for Sheffield United and Bristol City *Jack Thompson (1920s footballer), English footballer who played for Aston Villa and Bright ...

) tells the punch-line of a joke to the barman: "... And then this guy says 'Now we can all get some sleep!'" After completing a particularly irksome task – perhaps changing a tyre in the rain, or dropping 12 children off to their respective houses after a noisy birthday party – one can say "Now we can all get some sleep" to put a humorous full stop on the event. In the original advertisement, set in a bar, this "punchline" was greeted with uproarious laughter, followed by the barman saying "What'll you have?" Jack: Claytons, thanks, Brian. Bloke in Bar: On the wagon, Jack? Jack. No. When I don't feel like alcohol, I have Claytons. Voice-over: Claytons. The drink you have when you're not having a drink. Claytons is also the name given to the South Island Intervarsity Novice Debating Championships hosted by

Canterbury University The University of Canterbury ( mi, Te Whare Wānanga o Waitaha; postnominal abbreviation ''Cantuar.'' or ''Cant.'' for ''Cantuariensis'', the Latin name for Canterbury) is a public research university based in Christchurch, New Zealand. It was f ...

and

Otago University Debating Society The Otago University Debating Society (OUDS) is a debating society established in June 1878 and is the oldest society of the University of Otago, the first university to be founded in New Zealand. Echoing trends in Australia and the United States ...

. It is referred to as Claytons because it is the "debating tournament you go to when you're not debating."

References

External links

*
Armstrong Agencies Ltd
the current distributor in Barbados *Examples of the term's use in New Zealand:

*Examples of the term's use in Australia:

https://web.archive.org/web/20050912065527/http://assa.org.au/articles/claytons

https://web.archive.org/web/20060908014948/http://www.choice.com.au/viewPressRelease.aspx?id=102659&catId=100497&tid=100010&p=

{{Barbadian cuisine New Zealand slang Australian brands Barbadian brands

Product history

In popular culture

See also

References

External links