"Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading" is the eighth episode of the second series of
Channel 4
Channel 4 is a British free-to-air public broadcast television network operated by the state-owned enterprise, state-owned Channel Four Television Corporation. It began its transmission on 2 November 1982 and was established to provide a four ...
sitcom
A sitcom, a portmanteau of situation comedy, or situational comedy, is a genre of comedy centered on a fixed set of characters who mostly carry over from episode to episode. Sitcoms can be contrasted with sketch comedy, where a troupe may use ne ...
''
Father Ted
''Father Ted'' is a sitcom created by Irish writers Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews (writer), Arthur Mathews and produced by British production company Hat Trick Productions for Channel 4. It aired over three series from 21 April 1995 until ...
'' and the fourteenth episode overall.
Synopsis
With
Lent
Lent ( la, Quadragesima, 'Fortieth') is a solemn religious observance in the liturgical calendar commemorating the 40 days Jesus spent fasting in the desert and enduring temptation by Satan, according to the Gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke ...
approaching,
Ted
TED may refer to:
Economics and finance
* TED spread between U.S. Treasuries and Eurodollar
Education
* ''Türk Eğitim Derneği'', the Turkish Education Association
** TED Ankara College Foundation Schools, Turkey
** Transvaal Education Depa ...
receives a phone call from his rival, Father Dick Byrne, who says that he and his fellow priests on Rugged Island will be giving up their vices. Ted insists to his fellow
Craggy Island
Craggy Island is a fictional island, supposedly off the west coast of Ireland, which serves as the primary setting for the Channel 4 sitcom ''Father Ted''. Craggy Island Parochial House is located on the island, which is the home of three Catholic ...
priests that they must do the same: Ted will give up smoking cigarettes,
Jack
Jack may refer to:
Places
* Jack, Alabama, US, an unincorporated community
* Jack, Missouri, US, an unincorporated community
* Jack County, Texas, a county in Texas, USA
People and fictional characters
* Jack (given name), a male given name, ...
drinking alcohol, and
Dougal his rollerblading. After they all find themselves sneaking out on the first night of Lent to partake in their vices, Ted decides they need help. With
Mrs Doyle
Mrs. (American English
American English, sometimes called United States English or U.S. English, is the set of varieties of the English language native to the United States. English is the most widely spoken language in the United States ...
away on her Lenten pilgrimage, he calls up the Church-run addiction service, who says they will send someone to the island the next day. Jack becomes sober for the first time in twelve years, and is horrified to learn he is "still on that feckin' island".
Sister Assumpta, a nun Ted and Dougal have met before, arrives the next day. She learns what their situation is and promises to help. Jack, upon seeing the nun, hurls himself through the window and flees into the countryside. The next day, Sister Assumpta wakes the priests at 5 a.m. with an
air horn
An air horn is a pneumatic device designed to create an extremely loud noise for signaling purposes. It usually consists of a source which produces compressed air, which passes into a horn through a reed or diaphragm. The stream of air caus ...
at an extremely close range of the Fathers (it is evident that she quietly sneaked into the Fathers' room while they were still asleep) and puts them through a grueling ordeal, which includes spending a while outside in bathtubs of ice-cold water, being dragged behind a tractor, having objects thrown at them, and being nearly fired at by her when they try to sneak carefully toward a table she is eating at. By the time they go to bed, they discover Assumpta has even replaced their mattresses with bricks. To escape from this rather cruel Sister, whose philosophy stems from Matty Hislop, Ted and Dougal reluctantly go to Rugged Island's parochial house that night to see about staying with Dick Byrne. However, they have a look from outside at what they are doing inside when they arrive, they see Dick and his fellow priests readily engaging in the activities Dick said they were giving up for Lent, having lied to Ted about it.
Ted and Dougal return to Craggy Island, only to find that Assumpta had discovered a basket of chocolate eggs while they were away - her addiction of chocolate, upon her seeing the eggs while she is calling her associates, takes effect overnight, much to the surprise of Ted, when he makes the discovery on the morning he and Dougal return. Knowing that she should have resisted as part of her Lent observance, Ted agrees to forgive her for her indulgence by letting her redeem herself via overseeing the Rugged Island Fathers' Lent activities. Over the closing credits, she is later shown giving Dick, Cyril and Jim even more gruelling punishments that are far more horrific because they were not keeping their end of Dick's and Ted's contest.
Mrs Doyle subsequently returns from her Lenten pilgrimage, and upon entering the living room, she finds Ted, Dougal, and Jack overindulging in their vices more than ever.
Production
Graham Linehan plays the man who walks past the parochial house saying, "Some mad-man's put up a cross..."
External links
*
{{Father Ted
Father Ted episodes
1996 British television episodes
Nuns in fiction
Lent