"Burglary" is the third episode of the second series of

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television Television, sometimes shortened to TV, is a telecommunication medium for transmitting moving images and sound. The term can refer to a television set, or the medium of television transmission. Television is a mass medium for advertisin ...

sitcom A sitcom, a portmanteau of situation comedy, or situational comedy, is a genre of comedy centered on a fixed set of characters who mostly carry over from episode to episode. Sitcoms can be contrasted with sketch comedy, where a troupe may use ne ...

, ''

Bottom Bottom may refer to: Anatomy and sex * Bottom (BDSM), the partner in a BDSM who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or dominant * Bottom (sex), a term used by gay couples and BDSM * Buttocks or bottom, part of th ...

''. It was first broadcast on 15 October 1992.

Synopsis

Richie and Eddie catch a

burglar Burglary, also called breaking and entering and sometimes housebreaking, is the act of entering a building or other areas without permission, with the intention of committing a criminal offence. Usually that offence is theft, robbery or murd ...

in their living room.

Plot

The episode begins with Eddie staggering drunkenly into the flat at 1:30am. He went out four and a half hours earlier with £1.75 to buy two fish suppers for himself and Richie, but instead of going to the fish and chip shop, he went to the chemist and spent the money on cheap

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, which he drank. While trying to find alcohol around the flat, Eddie drinks a bottle of

bleach Bleach is the generic name for any chemical product that is used industrially or domestically to remove color (whitening) from a fabric or fiber or to clean or to remove stains in a process called bleaching. It often refers specifically, to ...

and passes out. Richie cannot revive him, and so attaches a noose to his leg and hoists him upstairs to bed. Richie goes to his bedroom to

masturbate Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm. The stimulation may involve hands, fingers, everyday objects, sex toys such as vibrators, or combination ...

. A few seconds later, Richie hears a window smashing; coming out of his bedroom he hears more objects breaking downstairs. Richie wakes Eddie up and says that the burglars might be looking for drugs, so Eddie suggests throwing

Lemsip Lemsip is a brand of cold and flu remedies in the United Kingdom, Republic of Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand. It is manufactured by the British company Reckitt. Products Their original and best-known product is a lemon-flavoured hot drin ...

down the stairs for them. Eddie goes back into his bedroom and brings a

service revolver A service pistol, also known as a personal weapon or an ordnance weapon, is any handgun issued to regular military personnel or law enforcement officers. Typically, service pistols are revolvers or semi-automatic pistols issued to officers, ...

back out with him and goes to shoot the lock off the hatch into the

attic An attic (sometimes referred to as a '' loft'') is a space found directly below the pitched roof of a house or other building; an attic may also be called a ''sky parlor'' or a garret. Because attics fill the space between the ceiling of the ...

. Richie suggests they simply use the key and tells Eddie that the burglars will hear him shooting his gun. Eddie reminds him there is no ladder because the police confiscated it "when the nurses moved in next door" earlier, so Richie has to climb on Eddie's back to reach. Richie falls off Eddie's back and down the stairs, landing on the burglar (played by Paul Bradley). Richie and Eddie tie the burglar to a chair using

Sellotape Sellotape () is a British brand of transparent, polypropylene-based, pressure-sensitive tape, and is the leading brand in the United Kingdom. Sellotape is generally used for joining, sealing, attaching and mending. In much the same way that Sc ...

and try to interrogate him. Unfortunately, due to a lack of training on interrogation, Richie calls the police instead, but puts the phone down halfway through when Eddie finds the burglar's bag, which is full of silverware. Richie tries ending the phone call by claiming that he has been "sleep-telephoning" again. They plan to sell the silver and make a new life in the

Bahamas The Bahamas (), officially the Commonwealth of The Bahamas, is an island country within the Lucayan Archipelago of the West Indies in the Atlantic Ocean, North Atlantic. It takes up 97% of the Lucayan Archipelago's land area and is home to ...

and are walking out of the flat when they realise that something must be done with the burglar. Richie sends Eddie onto the roof to get some poisoned pigeon pellets. While outside, he does not notice a second burglar on the outer wall of the flat. Eddie falls through the glass roof but gets some pellets, which Eddie puts into one of the cups of tea he is making. They take the tea to the burglar, but Eddie cannot remember which cup contains the poison since they're all yellow, And possibly they're all had the poison in them, so, after Richie punishes Eddie by shoving a pencil up his nose, they force the burglar to drink all of them. The burglar promptly vomits. The police knock on the door. Richie answers the door to the police while Eddie tries to hide the burglar. Richie claims that he telephoned the police in his sleep, and tries to close the door, but the police officers force their way past Richie into the flat. The police are suspicious about the state of the flat, but Richie says that he caused the mess by "sleep-vomiting". One of the officers approaches Eddie and points out that his paper is upside down, to which Eddie replies, "So are my eyes". The officers find the shattered glass and Richie says they have been "sleep-glazing" again. Richie then throws insults to the officers and says that he has just been "sleep-slanging" again. The officers leave, after hitting Richie on the head with a truncheon for wasting police time. Eddie reveals that he had hidden the burglar by Sellotaping him to the ceiling. While they are attempting to get the burglar down by hitting him with a broom, the second burglar comes in through the window and knocks Richie and Eddie unconscious with a club. When Richie and Eddie wake up, they are stripped to their underwear. The room has been stripped bare except for two chairs that the pair are tied to. They have mouse traps positioned in front of their genitals, and Eddie has a note attached to his knee. The episode ends when Eddie reads the note, which says "

Sue Carpenter Sue Carpenter (born 17 May 1956 in London, England) is a United Kingdom former newsreader and television presenter. She graduated in English Literature and Icelandic at King's College London in 1977. After presenting regional BBC news programme ...

". This drops their guard, causing the mousetraps to trigger.

Consistency errors

*In 's Up", Eddie says that he does not like fish fingers. However, in this episode Eddie is suggesting to Richie that they use stale fish fingers to poison the burglar only for Richie to remind Eddie that they (both of them) finished them off the previous Thursday.

References

{{DEFAULTSORT:Burglary (Bottom) 1992 British television episodes Bottom (TV series) Fiction about burglary Television episodes about theft