"Bruces' Philosophers Song", also known as "The Bruces' Song", is a Monty Python song written and composed by Eric Idle that was a feature of the group's stage appearances and its recordings.

Origins

The Bruces' Philosophers Song is sung by The Bruces, stereotypical "

ocker The term "ocker" is used both as a noun and adjective for an Australian who speaks and acts in a rough and uncultivated manner, using Strine, a broad Australian accent. Definition Richard Neville defined ockerism as being "about conviviality: ...

" Australians of the period. The Bruces are kitted out in

khaki The color khaki (, ) is a light shade of tan with a slight yellowish tinge. Khaki has been used by many armies around the world for uniforms and equipment, particularly in arid or desert regions, where it provides camouflage relative to sandy ...

slouch hat A slouch hat is a wide-brimmed felt or cloth hat most commonly worn as part of a military uniform, often, although not always, with a chinstrap. It has been worn by military personnel from many different nations including Australia, Ireland, the ...

s and a

cork hat A cork hat is a type of headgear with corks strung from the brim, to ward off insects. Pieces of cork, typically bottle corks, are hung on strings from the brim of the hat. The low density of cork means a number of pieces may hang from a ha ...

and are faculty members of the Philosophy Department at the fictional University of Woolamaloo. (There is no such place as Woolamaloo in Australia; but

Woolloomooloo Woolloomooloo ( ) is a harbourside, inner-city eastern suburb of Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. Woolloomooloo is 1.5 kilometres east of the Sydney central business district, in the local government area of the City of Sydney. It is in a lo ...

is an inner suburb of Sydney. There is no university there, although the real-life

University of Sydney The University of Sydney (USYD), also known as Sydney University, or informally Sydney Uni, is a public research university located in Sydney, Australia. Founded in 1850, it is the oldest university in Australia and is one of the country's ...

is not far away.) The Bruces themselves first appeared in the

Bruces sketch The Bruces sketch is a comedy sketch that originally appeared in a 1970 episode of the television show '' Monty Python's Flying Circus'', episode 22, "How to Recognise Different Parts of the Body", and was subsequently performed on audio recordin ...

which featured in episode 22, "How to Recognise Different Parts of the Body", of the TV show '' Monty Python's Flying Circus'', first broadcast on 24 November 1970. The sketch shows an English academic (played by

Terry Jones Terence Graham Parry Jones (1 February 1942 – 21 January 2020) was a Welsh comedian, director, historian, actor, writer and member of the Monty Python comedy team. After graduating from Oxford University with a degree in English, Jones and ...

) coming to a hot and perhaps remote part of Australia and being inducted by the Bruces ( John Cleese,

Graham Chapman Graham Chapman (8 January 1941 – 4 October 1989) was a British actor, comedian and writer. He was one of the six members of the surreal comedy group Monty Python. He portrayed authority figures such as The Colonel and the lead role in two P ...

, Eric Idle and

Michael Palin Sir Michael Edward Palin (; born 5 May 1943) is an English actor, comedian, writer, television presenter, and public speaker. He was a member of the Monty Python comedy group. Since 1980, he has made a number of travel documentaries. Palin w ...

) into their Philosophy Department, seemingly located in a simple wooden shack. The Bruces are lounging around a wooden table and soon start drinking cans of Foster's Lager. The song was not part of the TV sketch; it first appeared on the Monty Python's 1973 album '' Matching Tie and Handkerchief'' as a coda for the album version of the sketch. The song was subsequently included in most of the Monty Python team's live shows, sometimes as a singalong with musical accompaniment provided by a Jew's harp.

Lyrics

The song's lyrics make a series of scandalous allegations about a number of highly respected philosophers, usually with regard to their capacity or incapacity for imbibing

alcoholic drink An alcoholic beverage (also called an alcoholic drink, adult beverage, or a drink) is a drink that contains ethanol, a type of alcohol that acts as a drug and is produced by fermentation of grains, fruits, or other sources of sugar. The c ...

s. The sixth line differs from version to version. While the studio recording on '' Matching Tie and Handkerchief'' refers solely to " Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel", live recordings (included in the ''Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl'' film and on the albums ''Live at Drury Lane'' and ''Live at City Center'') mention "

Schopenhauer Arthur Schopenhauer ( , ; 22 February 1788 – 21 September 1860) was a German philosopher. He is best known for his 1818 work '' The World as Will and Representation'' (expanded in 1844), which characterizes the phenomenal world as the pr ...

and Hegel."

The philosophers

John Stuart Mill by London Stereoscopic Company, c1870

All the philosophers whom the song mentions were dead by the time it appeared, apart from

Martin Heidegger Martin Heidegger (; ; 26 September 188926 May 1976) was a German philosopher who is best known for contributions to phenomenology, hermeneutics, and existentialism. He is among the most important and influential philosophers of the 20th ce ...

. Philosophers mentioned in the song (in order): #

Immanuel Kant Immanuel Kant (, , ; 22 April 1724 – 12 February 1804) was a German philosopher and one of the central Enlightenment thinkers. Born in Königsberg, Kant's comprehensive and systematic works in epistemology, metaphysics, ethics, and ...

(a real pissant who was very rarely stable) #

(a boozy beggar who could think you under the table) #

David Hume David Hume (; born David Home; 7 May 1711 NS (26 April 1711 OS) – 25 August 1776) Cranston, Maurice, and Thomas Edmund Jessop. 2020 999br>David Hume" ''Encyclopædia Britannica''. Retrieved 18 May 2020. was a Scottish Enlightenment phil ...

(able to outconsume G. W. F. Hegel) #

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel (; ; 27 August 1770 – 14 November 1831) was a German philosopher. He is one of the most important figures in German idealism and one of the founding figures of modern Western philosophy. His influence extends ...

(outconsumed by Hume) # Arthur Schopenhauer (in some versions also outconsumed by Hume) #

Ludwig Wittgenstein Ludwig Josef Johann Wittgenstein ( ; ; 26 April 1889 – 29 April 1951) was an Austrian-British philosopher who worked primarily in logic, the philosophy of mathematics, the philosophy of mind, and the philosophy of language. He is con ...

(a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel) #

Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel Karl Wilhelm Friedrich (after 1814: von) Schlegel (; ; 10 March 1772 – 12 January 1829) was a German poet, literary critic, philosopher, philologist, and Indologist. With his older brother, August Wilhelm Schlegel, he was one of the main figure ...

and/or

August Wilhelm Schlegel August Wilhelm (after 1812: von) Schlegel (; 8 September 176712 May 1845), usually cited as August Schlegel, was a German poet, translator and critic, and with his brother Friedrich Schlegel the leading influence within Jena Romanticism. His trans ...

(Wittgenstein is alleged be just as sloshed as) #

Friedrich Nietzsche Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (; or ; 15 October 1844 – 25 August 1900) was a German philosopher, prose poet, cultural critic, philologist, and composer whose work has exerted a profound influence on contemporary philosophy. He began his ...

(particularly knowledgeable about "the raising of the wrist") #

Socrates Socrates (; ; –399 BC) was a Greek philosopher from Athens who is credited as the founder of Western philosophy and among the first moral philosophers of the ethical tradition of thought. An enigmatic figure, Socrates authored no te ...

(the only one mentioned twice in the song: permanently pissed) # John Stuart Mill (particularly ill after half a pint of shandy) #

Plato Plato ( ; grc-gre, Πλάτων ; 428/427 or 424/423 – 348/347 BC) was a Greek philosopher born in Athens during the Classical period in Ancient Greece. He founded the Platonist school of thought and the Academy, the first institution ...

(said to regularly consume half a crate of whiskey daily) #

Aristotle Aristotle (; grc-gre, Ἀριστοτέλης ''Aristotélēs'', ; 384–322 BC) was a Greek philosopher and polymath during the Classical period in Ancient Greece. Taught by Plato, he was the founder of the Peripatetic school of ph ...

(a bugger for the bottle) #

Thomas Hobbes Thomas Hobbes ( ; 5/15 April 1588 – 4/14 December 1679) was an English philosopher, considered to be one of the founders of modern political philosophy. Hobbes is best known for his 1651 book ''Leviathan'', in which he expounds an influ ...

(fond of his dram) #

René Descartes René Descartes ( or ; ; Latinized: Renatus Cartesius; 31 March 1596 – 11 February 1650) was a French philosopher, scientist, and mathematician, widely considered a seminal figure in the emergence of modern philosophy and science. Ma ...

(a drunken fart) #

(second mention) (particularly missed, noted as both a lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed)

References

{{Monty Python Philosophers' Song, The Songs written by Eric Idle Songs about alcohol Cultural depictions of philosophers Australia in fiction Cultural depictions of Australian people Cultural depictions of Socrates Cultural depictions of Plato Cultural depictions of Friedrich Nietzsche Cultural depictions of Aristotle Cultural depictions of René Descartes Songs about writers Songs about philosophers 1973 songs