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An affair is a sexual relationship,
romantic friendship A romantic friendship, passionate friendship, or affectionate friendship is a very close but typically non- sexual relationship between friends, often involving a degree of physical closeness beyond that which is common in contemporary Weste ...
, or passionate attachment in which at least one of its participants has a formal or informal commitment to a third person who may neither agree to such relationship nor even be aware of it.


Romantic affair

A romantic affair, also called an affair of the heart, may refer to a sexual liaison or more emotional relationship between two people who may
have sex Sexual intercourse (or coitus or copulation) is a sexual activity typically involving the insertion and thrusting of the penis into the vagina for sexual pleasure or reproduction.Sexual intercourse most commonly means penile–vaginal pen ...
without expecting a more formal romantic relationship, an affair is by its nature romantic. The term ''affair'' may also describe part of an agreement within an open marriage or open relationship, such as
swinging Swing or swinging may refer to: Apparatus * Swing (seat), a hanging seat that swings back and forth * Pendulum, an object that swings * Russian swing, a swing-like circus apparatus * Sex swing, a type of harness for sexual intercourse * Swing ri ...
, dating, or polyamory, in which some forms of sex with one's non-primary partner(s) are permitted and other forms are not. Participants in open relationships, including unmarried couples and polyamorous families, may consider sanctioned affairs the norm, but when a non-sanctioned affair occurs, it is described as infidelity and maybe experienced as
adultery Adultery (from Latin ''adulterium'') is extramarital sex that is considered objectionable on social, religious, moral, or legal grounds. Although the sexual activities that constitute adultery vary, as well as the social, religious, and legal ...
, or a betrayal both of trust and integrity, even though to most people it would not be considered illicit. When romantic affairs lack both overt and covert sexual behavior, yet exhibit intense or enduring emotional intimacy, it may also be referred to as an emotional affair, platonic love, or a
romantic friendship A romantic friendship, passionate friendship, or affectionate friendship is a very close but typically non- sexual relationship between friends, often involving a degree of physical closeness beyond that which is common in contemporary Weste ...
.


Extramarital affair

Extramarital affairs are relationships outside of
marriage Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between ...
where an illicit romantic or sexual relationship or a
romantic friendship A romantic friendship, passionate friendship, or affectionate friendship is a very close but typically non- sexual relationship between friends, often involving a degree of physical closeness beyond that which is common in contemporary Weste ...
or passionate attachment occurs. An affair can continue in one form or another for years, even as one of the partners in that affair passes through marriage, divorce, and remarriage. This could be considered the primary relationship, with the marriage secondary to it. Several people claim the reason for an extramarital affair is their unsuccessful marriage where both spouses fail to please each other. This may be serial polygamy or other forms of nonmonogamy. The ability to pursue serial and clandestine extramarital affairs while safeguarding other secrets and
conflict of interest A conflict of interest (COI) is a situation in which a person or organization is involved in multiple interests, financial or otherwise, and serving one interest could involve working against another. Typically, this relates to situations i ...
inherent in the practice, requires skill in
deception Deception or falsehood is an act or statement that misleads, hides the truth, or promotes a belief, concept, or idea that is not true. It is often done for personal gain or advantage. Deception can involve dissimulation, propaganda and sleight o ...
and duplicitous negotiation. Even to hide one affair requires a degree of skill or malicious gaslighting. All these behaviors are more usually called lying. Deception can be defined as the "
covert Secrecy is the practice of hiding information from certain individuals or groups who do not have the "need to know", perhaps while sharing it with other individuals. That which is kept hidden is known as the secret. Secrecy is often controvers ...
manipulation of perception to alter thoughts, feelings, or beliefs". The presence of deception may indicate the degree to which the deceiver has breached fundamental conditions of fidelity, reciprocal vulnerability, and transparency. Sometimes these are explicit or assumed pre-conditions of a committed
intimate Intimate may refer to: * Intimate examination, a physical examination for medical purposes that includes examination of the breasts, genitalia, or rectum of a patient * Intimate ion pair, the interactions between a cation, anion and surrounding sol ...
relationship. Individuals having affairs with married men or women can be prosecuted for adultery in some jurisdictions and can be sued by the jilted spouses in others, or named as 'co-respondents' in divorce proceedings. As of 2009, eight U.S.  states permitted such alienation of affections lawsuits. Affairs with the consent of their significant others may not be considered infidelity or adultery.


Online affair

The appearance of
computer-mediated communication Computer-mediated communication (CMC) is defined as any human communication that occurs through the use of two or more electronic devices. While the term has traditionally referred to those communications that occur via computer-mediated forma ...
introduces a new type of communication and consequently a new type of "affair". There are various kinds of computer-mediated communication that differ in some significant aspects: one-to-one or group communication formats, interrelating with anonymous or identified people and communicating in synchronous or asynchronous formats. Online affairs combine features of close and remote relationships. Ben Ze'ef argues that an online affair is a unique kind of affair—termed "detached attachment", or just "detachment"—that includes opposing features whose presence in a face-to-face affair would be paradoxical. Like direct, face-to-face affairs, online affairs can be spontaneous and casual and show intensive personal involvement. However, online affairs can also be more of a planned discourse than spontaneous talk; like written letters, online messages can be stored and thus have a permanent presence, which is absent from face-to-face affairs. People participating in online affairs may be strangers to each other in the sense that they have never actually met each other. However, they are also close to each other since they share intimate information. In online affairs, people try to enjoy the benefits of both close and remote affairs, while avoiding their flaws. People enjoy the highly valued products of close affairs while paying the low cost of remote affairs. As one woman wrote: 'He constantly told me that he can not provide me with what I would want and I would always respond with: "I'm not asking anything from you, but simply enjoy your company"'.


Famous affairs

* Affair of the Diamond Necklace *
Hamilton–Reynolds affair The Hamilton–Reynolds affair was the first major sex scandal in American political history. It involved Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton, who conducted an affair with Maria Reynolds from 1791 to 1792, during the presidency of Ge ...
* Eulenburg affair * Haijby scandal *
Iris Robinson scandal The Iris Robinson scandal, also known as Irisgate, was a political scandal in Northern Ireland involving Iris Robinson, the wife of Northern Ireland's First Minister Peter Robinson. She was a serving MP and MLA for the Democratic Unionist ...
* Clinton–Lewinsky scandal * ''
The Makropulos Affair ''Věc Makropulos'' is a Czech play written by Karel Čapek. Its title—literally ''The Makropulos Thing''—has been variously rendered in English as ''The Makropulos Affair'', ''The Makropulos Case'', or ''The Makropulos Secret'' (Čapek's o ...
'' (play) * ''
The Makropulos Affair ''Věc Makropulos'' is a Czech play written by Karel Čapek. Its title—literally ''The Makropulos Thing''—has been variously rendered in English as ''The Makropulos Affair'', ''The Makropulos Case'', or ''The Makropulos Secret'' (Čapek's o ...
'' (opera) *
Munsinger affair The Munsinger affair was Canada's first national political sex scandal in 1966. The affair involved Gerda Munsinger, a German citizen who had been convicted in Germany as a common prostitute, a petty thief and a smuggler, who emigrated to Canada ...
* Profumo affair * ''Spiegel'' affair * Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal *
John Edwards extramarital affair John Edwards is a former United States Senator from North Carolina and a Democratic Party vice-presidential and presidential candidate. In August 2008, Edwards admitted to an extramarital affair, which was initially reported in 2007 by the '' N ...
* Mark Sanford extramarital affair


See also

* Ashley Madison *
Courtly love Courtly love ( oc, fin'amor ; french: amour courtois ) was a medieval European literary conception of love that emphasized nobility and chivalry. Medieval literature is filled with examples of knights setting out on adventures and performing var ...
*
Crime of passion A crime of passion (French: ''crime passionnel''), in popular usage, refers to a violent crime, especially homicide, in which the perpetrator commits the act against someone because of sudden strong impulse such as anger rather than as a premed ...
* Family therapy * On-again, off-again relationship *
Polysexuality Sexual identity is how one thinks of oneself in terms of to whom one is romantically and/or sexually attracted.
''Sex ...
* Scandal * Love triangle *
Adultery Adultery (from Latin ''adulterium'') is extramarital sex that is considered objectionable on social, religious, moral, or legal grounds. Although the sexual activities that constitute adultery vary, as well as the social, religious, and legal ...


References


Further reading

* Schmitt, D. P., ''et al.'' (2004). Patterns and universals of mate poaching across 53 nations: The effects of sex, culture, and personality on romantically attracting another person's partner. ''Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 86,'' 560–584.


External links


United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, "Infidelity"
{{Authority control Politics by issue Sexual fidelity Extramarital relationships