''Army Man'' (tagline: "America's Only Magazine") was a comedy magazine published in the late 1980s by

George Meyer George Meyer (born 1956) is an American producer and writer. Meyer is best known for his work on ''The Simpsons'', where he led the group script rewrite sessions. He has been publicly credited with "thoroughly shap ng... the comedic sensibility ...

, who went on to be an acclaimed writer for ''

The Simpsons ''The Simpsons'' is an American animated sitcom created by Matt Groening for the Fox Broadcasting Company. The series is a satirical depiction of American life, epitomized by the Simpson family, which consists of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, ...

''. The magazine consisted mostly of very short and surreal jokes, along with cartoons. Each issue also featured

Jack Handey Jack Handey (born February 25, 1949) is an American humorist. He is best known for his "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey", a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his "Fuzzy Memories" and "My Big Thick Novel" shorts, and for his dead ...

's "Deep Thoughts", as well as other pieces written by him.

History

Although ''Army Man'' was never widely distributed, it garnered a lot of attention in the comedy world. Two of its writers (

John Swartzwelder John Joseph Swartzwelder Jr. (born February 8, 1949) is an American comedy writer and novelist, best known for his work on the animated television series ''The Simpsons''. Born in Seattle, Washington, Swartzwelder began his career working in adv ...

and

Jon Vitti Jon Vitti is an American writer best known for his work on the television series ''The Simpsons''. He has also written for ''King of the Hill'', ''The Critic'' and ''The Office'', and has served as a screenwriter or consultant for several animate ...

) were picked up alongside Meyer to be part of the original writing staff of ''The Simpsons'' by the show's developer and show-runner

Sam Simon Samuel Michael Simon (June 6, 1955 – March 8, 2015) was an American director, producer, writer, animal rights activist and philanthropist, who co-developed the television series ''The Simpsons''. While at Stanford University, Simon wo ...

, a fan of the magazine. Other ''Army Man'' writers would go on to write for ''The Simpsons'' in later seasons, including Jeff Martin,

David Sacks David Sacks is an American television writer and producer. Biography He attended Harvard College, graduating with a degree in Government. While there he began his comedy writing career as an editor of the school's humor magazine, ''The Harvard ...

Ian Maxtone-Graham Ian Howes Maxtone-Graham is an American television writer and producer. He has formerly written for ''Saturday Night Live'' (1992–1995) and ''The Simpsons'' (1995–2012), as well as serving as a co-executive producer and consulting producer ...

Tom Gammill Tom or TOM may refer to: * Tom (given name), a diminutive of Thomas or Tomás or an independent Aramaic given name (and a list of people with the name) Characters * Tom Anderson, a character in '' Beavis and Butt-Head'' * Tom Beck, a character ...

Max Pross Max or MAX may refer to: Animals * Max (dog) (1983–2013), at one time purported to be the world's oldest living dog * Max (English Springer Spaniel), the first pet dog to win the PDSA Order of Merit (animal equivalent of OBE) * Max (gorilla) (1 ...

Kevin Curran Kevin Curran may refer to: * Kevin Curran (cricketer) (1959–2012), Zimbabwean cricketer * Kevin Curran (cricketer, born 1928) (1928–2017), Zimbabwean cricketer * Kevin Curran (footballer, born 1919) (1919–1986), Australian rules footballer ...

and

Billy Kimball Billy Kimball (born July 8, 1959) is an American writer and producer. He was a co-executive producer on the acclaimed HBO series ''Veep''. Personal life He was born in New York City, attended Trinity School (New York City), Trinity School, and g ...

. Other notable contributors of the magazine included

Mark O'Donnell Mark O’Donnell (July 19, 1954 – August 6, 2012) was an American writer and humorist. Early life Born in Cleveland, Ohio, he received his Bachelor of Arts degree from Harvard College in 1976. He was a member of '' The Harvard Lampoon'', whe ...

, Andy Borowitz,

Andy Breckman Andrew Ross Breckman (born March 3, 1955) is an American television and film writer and a radio personality on WFMU. He is the creator and executive producer of the Emmy Award-winning television series ''Monk'' on the USA Network, and is co-hos ...

Roz Chast Rosalind Chast (born November 26, 1954) is an American cartoonist and a staff cartoonist for ''The New Yorker''. Since 1978, she has published more than 800 cartoons in ''The New Yorker''. She also publishes cartoons in ''Scientific American'' and ...

Spike Feresten Spike Feresten (born ) is an American television writer, screenwriter, comedian and television personality, who is best known for his work on ''Seinfeld'', writing for David Letterman, and hosting the late night '' Talkshow with Spike Feresten' ...

(credited as Mike Feresten),

Ian Frazier Ian Frazier (born 1951 in Cleveland, Ohio) is an American writer and humorist. He wrote the 1989 non-fiction history ''Great Plains'', 2010's non-fiction travelogue ''Travels in Siberia'', and works as a writer and humorist for ''The New Yorke ...

Ann Hodgman Ann Hodgman (born 1956) is an American author of more than forty children's books as well as several cookbooks and humor books and many magazine articles. Biography Ann Hodgman was raised in Rochester, New York and graduated from Harvard Univers ...

Mitchell Kriegman Mitchell Kriegman (born June 4, 1952) is an American television writer, director, producer, consultant, story editor, author, composer and actor. He is the creator of ''Clarissa Explains It All'' (1991) for Nickelodeon, ''Bear in the Big Blue Ho ...

Merrill Markoe Merrill Markoe (born August 13, 1948) is an American author, television writer, and occasional standup comedian. Early life Markoe was born in New York City. Her family moved several times including stays in Miami, Florida and San Francisco, ...

Patricia Marx Patricia Marx is an American humorist and writer. She currently works as a staff writer for ''The New Yorker'', and teaches at Columbia University, Princeton University and 92nd Street Y. Born in Abington, Pennsylvania, she earned her B.A. from ...

Bob Odenkirk Robert John Odenkirk (; born October 22, 1962) is an American actor, comedian and filmmaker best known for his role as Saul Goodman on ''Breaking Bad'' (2008–2013) and its spin-off ''Better Call Saul'' (2015–2022). For the latter, he has re ...

and

David Owen David Anthony Llewellyn Owen, Baron Owen, (born 2 July 1938) is a British politician and physician who served as Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs as a Labour Party (UK), Labour Party MP under James Callaghan from 1977 t ...

. The writers were usually people Meyer knew from his years at the ''

Harvard Lampoon ''The Harvard Lampoon'' is an undergraduate humor publication founded in 1876 by seven undergraduates at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Overview The ''Harvard Lampoon'' publication was founded in 1876 by seven undergraduates ...

'' or who worked with him in TV shows like ''

Late Night with David Letterman ''Late Night with David Letterman'' is an American late-night talk show hosted by David Letterman on NBC, the first iteration of the ''Late Night'' franchise. It premiered on February 1, 1982, and was produced by Letterman's production company ...

'', ''

The New Show ''The New Show'' is an NBC sketch comedy show produced by Lorne Michaels that ran for one season from January 6 to March 23, 1984. Apart from being 60 minutes in length and entirely pre-recorded, the show is similar in format to Michaels' own ''S ...

'', ''

Not Necessarily The News ''Not Necessarily the News'' (shortened as ''NNTN'') is an American satirical sketch comedy series that first aired on HBO in September 1982 as a comedy special, and then ran as a series from 1983 to 1990. For most of the run, the series featured ...

'' and ''

Saturday Night Live ''Saturday Night Live'' (often abbreviated to ''SNL'') is an American late-night live television sketch comedy and variety show created by Lorne Michaels and developed by Dick Ebersol that airs on NBC and Peacock. Michaels currently serves a ...

''. Only three issues were ever published. The first issue was reprinted and included in the September 2004 issue of '' The Believer'', which also featured interviews with Meyer, O'Donnell, Handey, Breckman and Frazier.

Excerpts

A "LAKELY" STORY: My friend from Michigan says if you pushed all the Great Lakes together they’d be as big as the Mediterranean. I say, why bother? BRIDE: (QUIETLY, TEARFUL) Ladies and gentlemen ... I'm afraid there won't be a wedding after all. Because, you see ... my fiancé has ... has died.
HECKLER FROM BACK PEW: Louder!
BRIDE: (LOUDER, ALMOST HYSTERICAL) My fiancé has died!
ANOTHER HECKLER: Funnier! PET PEEVE: If there is one thing that really honks me off, it's the hopelessness and futility of the human condition NEEDED: What this country needs is a good five-cent sports car (referencing a famous quote by former

Vice President of the United States The vice president of the United States (VPOTUS) is the second-highest officer in the executive branch of the U.S. federal government, after the president of the United States, and ranks first in the presidential line of succession. The vice ...

Thomas R. Marshall Thomas Riley Marshall (March 14, 1854 – June 1, 1925) was an American politician who served as the 28th vice president of the United States from 1913 to 1921 under President Woodrow Wilson. A prominent lawyer in Indiana, he became an acti ...

who allegedly remarked "What this country needs is a really good five-cent cigar.").

References

External links

Excerpts from Army Man

Additional excerpts

Selected scans of the original publication
{{DEFAULTSORT:Army Man (Magazine) Defunct magazines published in the United States Irregularly published magazines published in the United States Magazines established in 1988 Magazines disestablished in 1990 Magazines published in Colorado Mass media in Boulder, Colorado Satirical magazines published in the United States