de Gramont; 23 April 1875 – 6 December 1954) was a French writer of the early 20th century, best known for her long-term
lesbian
A lesbian is a homosexual woman or girl. The word is also used for women in relation to their sexual identity or sexual behavior, regardless of sexual orientation, or as an adjective to characterize or associate nouns with female homosexu ...
relationship with
Natalie Clifford Barney
Natalie Clifford Barney (October 31, 1876 – February 2, 1972) was an American writer who hosted a salon (gathering), literary salon at her home in Paris that brought together French and international writers. She influenced other authors thro ...
, an American writer. Élisabeth de Gramont had grown up among the highest
aristocracy
Aristocracy (; ) is a form of government that places power in the hands of a small, privileged ruling class, the aristocracy (class), aristocrats.
Across Europe, the aristocracy exercised immense Economy, economic, Politics, political, and soc ...
; when she was a child, according to
Janet Flanner
Janet Flanner (March 13, 1892 – November 7, 1978) was an American writer and pioneering narrative journalist who served as the Paris correspondent of ''The New Yorker'' magazine from 1925 until she retired in 1975.Yagoda, Ben ''About T ...
, "peasants on her farm... begged her not to clean her shoes before entering their houses". She looked back on this lost world of wealth and privilege with little regret, and became known as the "red duchess" for her support of
socialism
Socialism is an economic ideology, economic and political philosophy encompassing diverse Economic system, economic and social systems characterised by social ownership of the means of production, as opposed to private ownership. It describes ...
and feminism.
She was a close friend, and sometimes critic of writer
Marcel Proust
Valentin Louis Georges Eugène Marcel Proust ( ; ; 10 July 1871 – 18 November 1922) was a French novelist, literary critic, and essayist who wrote the novel (in French – translated in English as ''Remembrance of Things Past'' and more r ...
, whom she first met in 1903.
Early life
Antonia Corisande Élisabeth de Gramont was born on 23 April 1875 in
Nancy, France
Nancy is the Prefectures in France, prefecture of the northeastern Departments of France, French department of Meurthe-et-Moselle. It was the capital of the Duchy of Lorraine, which was Lorraine and Barrois, annexed by France under King Louis X ...
tuberculosis
Tuberculosis (TB), also known colloquially as the "white death", or historically as consumption, is a contagious disease usually caused by ''Mycobacterium tuberculosis'' (MTB) bacteria. Tuberculosis generally affects the lungs, but it can al ...
first met in the spring of 1909; they became lovers on 1 May 1910, a date that they celebrated as their anniversary. Although neither was faithful to the other sexually, they were devoted to one another for their entire lives. Elisabeth's husband is said to have been violent and tyrannical.
The Duchess accepted Barney's ways—perhaps reluctantly at first—and went out of her way to be gracious to Barney's other lovers. For example, the Duchess always included
Romaine Brooks
Romaine Brooks (born Beatrice Romaine Goddard; May 1, 1874 – December 7, 1970) was an American painter who worked mostly in Paris and Capri. She specialized in portrait painting, portraiture and used a subdued tonal Palette (painting), palette ...
when she invited Barney to vacation in the country. Brooks and Barney developed a strong relationship about 1916, and both de Gramont and Brooks had to live with Barney's infidelity. But the three women eventually formed a kind of trio and were devoted to one another for the rest of their lives.
On 20 June 1918 Barney and De Gramont filed an "unofficial" but, at least to them, binding "
marriage contract
A prenuptial agreement, antenuptial agreement, or premarital agreement (commonly referred to as a prenup), is a written contract entered into by a couple before marriage or a civil union that enables them to select and control many of the legal ...
". The contract stated, in part;
:"After nine years of life together, joys and worries shared, and affairs confessed. For the survival of the bond that we believe-and wish to believe-is unbreakable, since at its lowest level of reciprocal emotionalism that is the conclusion reached. The union, sorely tried by the passing years, failed doubly the faithfulness test in its sixth year, showing us that adultery is inevitable in these relationships where there is no prejudice, no religion other than feelings, no laws other than desire, incapable of vain sacrifices that seem to be the negation of life..."
In essence, the contract was to bind them together, at least in their own minds, but did not require them to being only with one another sexually. The contract was honored by both until the Duchess' death in 1954.